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Joshua Wong – International Dictatorship
Government: Potentate Joshua Wong declares manifest of leprechauns to spread clovers all over the world.

By NICK ANDERSON, Times Staff Writer

In an effort to help the world, the United Nations held a conference to grant the position as International Dictator to the great Joshua Wong. He plans to create a 10 year period known as the Platinum Age; he plans to boost the world economy and also to initiate a force to destroy all that opposes him.

Potentate Joshua Wong took the position late this afternoon and vowed to the world under oath to send his manifest of leprechauns to help.

Many countries have joined Potentate Joshua Wong in an effort to help him. He has asked other smaller countries to assist him and promises them peace and prosperity.

Countries such as China, United Kingdom, France, Germany, and Canada have already taken the extra step to donate 95% of their arms to Potentate Joshua Wong. Other countries plan to do the same once they have gathered their arms.

Potentate Joshua Wong has already killed an enemy of his network he called the Global Community. Vincent Cendejas, 15 years of age of El Sereno died pathetically when he tried driving his bicycle with a metallic metal ruler in an effort of a suicide attack. Potentate Joshua Wong was in his tank escorted by a motorcade when the Secret Service’s scooter ran over Cendejas. The scooter was not harmed.

After this situation, fearing for his life, Dr. Nick of Springfield developed a super potion that would protect Potentate Joshua Wong from any harm. This formula is one of a kind which can only be developed once and used only for Potentate Joshua Wong’s actual human body with no exception of a clone of any kind.

Potentate Joshua Wong has started a crackdown against secret organizations after him and has destroyed the Boy Scouts of America and also Girl Scouts of America. The United States sincerely apologized for such useless clubs and banned all types of clubs and organizations that help boost youth’s self-esteem.

Potentate Joshua Wong has established his own network of military strength called Valkyrie International now known as VI. VI is consisted of naval, ground, and air units that can take out anything in its path. VI is run by the leader Mr. T who is loyal to the Potentate.

VI was sent to Ireland to help gather magical charms and clovers for the Potentate’s manifest of leprechauns. Global Weekly reporter John Walker asked Mr. T what he would do to any resistance and he said, “I pity the fool!”

Potentate Joshua Wong has also got legal ownership of the Sun when he bought it on EBAY for $9.99. Potentate Joshua Wong has issued a mandatory annual Sun Tax of one cent per citizen. Potentate Joshua Wong has also granted loans to people who cannot afford this tax of interest rates as low as 1000%.

The Potentate has also worked on his medical work and found the cure of cancer and AIDS. He created a pill called, “Mr. Make You Feel Better.” It is now available as an OTC at your local drugstore.

Many people across the world have donated their time and money to Potentate Joshua Wong as his begins to restore global order. People speculate that this Platinum Era will be the longest era and quite possibly make Earth the happiest place in the universe.

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Copyright 2002 Los Angeles Times
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