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December
2003
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:
Over a cup of coffee the
issue of “the meaning of life” surfaced
once again. One individual claimed life as “a bunch of hoops to jump through”
while I claimed it’s just “bullshit” in order to be able to do the things we
really want to do. “bullshit” “hoops” there all the same thing. Basically we
are all doing the shitty things in order to be able to do the great things
whatever they may be, motorcycle riding, writing books, fucking Chinese women…whatever
you want. Some have lost their way,
they have become fully engrossed in their life style that just facilitates
their dreams and not their dreams. This poses a problem; the conflict between
those who do and those who don’t. Chew on that…bitches! (Editors note: God,
what the fuck was I on when I wrote that?) Anyway, I have a real website now
that I WILL be updating. It currently has links to some of my favorite websites
and the back issues of TIN. The addy is www.geocities.com/intensitynewsletter.
If you have any suggestions (especially if it isn’t working) please send me an
email.
Editor in Chief,
Rhoads
QUOTES:
“Ahhh…I think I’m batting for the other team dude.”
Frankie
D, to fellow male classmate who asked him out for a drink.
“You swoll brotha!”
Random
black man to Frankie D, commenting on his physique.
RANT: Fucking with my chee!
Fuckin’A! The other day
I get this email stating that a class that I signed up for in the spring had
cancelled the discussion I was in and I have to pick a new one. Unfortunately the
other sections wouldn’t fit in for shit! How the fuck do these people get off
changing shit around? The college schedule is a very sensitive thing! One false
move could send you flailing into cluster-fuck oblivion! I like to organize my
classes to maximize the workout time and some pencil pushing bureaucrat is
NEVER gonna fuck that up! The email didn’t state a reason as to why the
discussions were cut so I sent a reply asking if they were because of budget
cuts and if so, who could I send an “firey” mail to, to give’em a piece of my
mind! College students get dicked around all day for no pay and some ass-fuck
raises tuition and then has the audacity to fuck with my schedule! Well, I say
NO FUCKING WAY! If I ever pinpoint that fat-ass responsible for fucking with me
I will make my schedule for kicking their ass on a daily basis! It will fit
right in between my history lecture and political science discussion!
Willy gets puked on!
Just the other night the
intense crew and me headed for da’ bars after a select viewing of Terminator 3.
But that’s not important, what’s important is that we were walling into the Red
Shed around 1am and this sally ass mofo stumbles out of the door and in the
process pukes on the bouncer and Willy! How the fuck are you gonna do that to
man!?? Can’t hold your liqueur? Go to the fucking bathroom, you pussy! Puking
on your fellow man is just one of those things you DO NOT do, kinda like
fucking with another mans car! Now, don’t get me wrong I’ve done my fair share
of puking but I only recall (or told later) that I puked on myself or my car
(Ha! That was a good night). In
retaliation Willy side kicked the bitch in the hip! Yea! And then the drunkard wanted
to start some shit, like he didn’t deserve a swift kick to the balls! Some
fucking people!
Fat person health care: A growing epidemic?
The Saturday edition
(11/29/03) of the New York Times recently ran an article entitled “As obesity
rises, health care indignities multiply.”
In summary the article was about “morbidly” obese people who have had to
“suffer” at the hands of the health care industry because, well, they are too
fucking fat to fit in an ambulance! or get a cat scan! One such individual had
to shit himself because there was no bed with a bedpan that could fit him and
if he would have been able to get up and walk around he wouldn’t have been able
to fit his 450lbs ass in the bathroom anyway!
I have never had less sympathy in my entire life. Too fuckin’ bad fat
man! Maybe you should have thought of this predicament BEFORE you stuffed your
fat ass full of french fries and milk shakes! And don’t tell me it’s not his
fault, its genetics! There is no genetically 450lbs person in the world. He
just kept eating and wouldn’t stop! The article goes on to explain that these
indignities are stopping these people from seeking medical attention, boo
fucking hoo. I’m sorry but it’s too late for medical attention your fat ass is
fucking maggot bait! Overall the article is calling for “special equipment”
(Oh, you mean like dump trucks?) for the care of these people. I say fuck that!
We have people that we can actually move around that need attention first that
won’t be an absolute bottomless pit for tax dollars. Wait! I just had an
awesome idea! People should purchase fat insurance! Yea ! It would be great!
You pay a low monthly rate just in case your lazy, overeating ass gets too
fucking big to move around and then the insurance company will hire a fork lift
to move your glob of a body around!
Insurance execs, you guys gotta eat this up! There must be millions to
be made! I can see the advertisement now! “Waste your life away with no
worries! Get obesity protection now!” Anyway, there is no fucking way I’m going
to allow some ass hole hospital to purchase an $8000 (Yes!) wheel chair so some
fat fuck can feel better about himself. On a lighter note, it’s too bad that
these people didn’t have the self control or self esteem to stop themselves
from eating, but its too late for them now we need to concentrate on your next
door neighbor little (meaning big) Willy. At the ripe age of ten and 160lbs, we
might be able to save him and make the world a better place one fat ass at a
time.
CONTRABUTIONS:
We
encourage any contributions to The Intensity Newsletter. A lot of people have done or used hard-core
shit and we want to hear about it.
Rants are strongly encouraged.
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