"And that means dragging out the extra large roll of red tape."THPOGLL
"Wonder if he knew his wife was from another galaxy."
"You been going to med school at night?"
Logan: "More coffee?"
Briscoe: "Another cup of that and they can autopsy me."
Man: "Who's out there, your boss?"
Briscoe: "Yeah. Hi, President Clinton."
"I hope Hallmark makes the right card. American Express and Visa--Sandra Dobson."
"Lucky for this guy the audience isn't armed."THPOGLL
"I liked him better when he had a heart attack."THPOGLL
Hotel Employee: "I'm sure the Barrington wasn't put through this sort of inconvenience."
Briscoe: "Nobody left the Barrington in a bag."
Mike: "Shannon Gilbert's real name is Paulette MacDougal. What's wrong with that?"
Lennie: "Sounds like somebody your mother would make you take to the senior prom."
"Okay, everybody who's innocent can leave the room."
"My first marriage, our cleaning lady knew about the divorce before I did."
(To Mike, who thinks a woman's presumed suicide could actually be a kidnapping): "There's no forced entry, the car's clean, and... unless you're getting psychic messages... no ransom demand." THPOGLL
"Hey, Sherlock, this case is supposed to be closed."
"He blanked the screen. Maybe he thinks we're communist spies."
(Commenting on the FBI's efforts to stop anti-war activists, including Catholic priests and Dr. Spock, during the '60's): "Every once in a while they actually tangled with a criminal." THPOGLL
"Oh, good! I got dibs on his liver."THPOGLL
(chasing suspect): "Why couldn't he have been shot in the leg?"
"If some people step in it bad enough, they'll say anything to get rid of the stink."
(holds up bottle): "Here's your murder weapon. Rest in peace, you sorry bastard."
"What were you doing between 9:30 and 1:45, taking a poll?"
"What do we do, get Madame LaSonga to throw a seance?"THPOGLL
Coffee cart vendor (deciphering an order for "skinny cap, no lead."): "Decaffeinated cappuccino, with skim milk."
Lennie: "What's the point?" THPOGLL
Huntley: "He claims he invented Neats and Nasties. Last year it was killer bee honey, year before that it was Singin� Sam's Shower Songs."
Briscoe: "I think I missed that one."
"I didn't realize the law was such an exciting profession."
Anita: "What do you think?"
Lennie: "I think she enjoyed double dating with us a lot more than some nursing home attendant."
Mike: "Some guy loses his life savings to Tappan. Then Kopinsky comes along and licks the plate. I'd want to kill him too."
Lennie: "What, you want to be reassigned to a squad that tracks down murderers you don't sympathesize with?"
"I saved up some money for my retirement. I keep it split between threen banks and two mutual funds. If you don't trust one that much, nobody can hurt you."
"Whoa! Three gray suits! A wild and crazy guy."
Mike: "He must have 20 bottles of shampoo from the Arcady hotel downtown."
Lennie: "So? I got a bathrobe from Grossinger's."
Mike: "You remember the last time you spoke to your ex, Lennie?"
Lennie: "July 17th, 1994, 2:35 p.m."THPOGLL
Mike: "So would you bust your butt to buy your kid a beamer?"
Lennie: "Nothing wrong with wanting the best for your daughter."
Mike: "Right. I like those pair of Converses you bought Julia."
Lennie: "Well, they're the best, right?"
Mike: "Well, all I know is no German cars for my kid."
Lennie: "What, roller blades?"
Anita: "All we've got is jury tampering in the second degree--a misdemeanor."
Lennie: "You'd think bribing a juror would carry more than a slap on the wrist."
Dosso: "Don't you guys ever get tired?"
Briscoe: "Of that face? Never!"
"Ya know, you look like you could use a few pounds. Why don't we go in the kitchen and see if there's any milk and cookies in there?"
"Ten years ago they were tooting coke through $100 bills. Maybe they heard needles are chic this year."
"Right now, my imagination's working overtime."
Mike: "I, for one, don't buy his Father Flannigan act."
Lennie: "I, for one, am jealous."THPOGLL
"I'm running out of stalls, and I don't think he's up for a game of solitaire."
"Well, the state of New York commands us not to kill. I think that's also mentioned in the Bible somewhere."
"I have trouble with my checkbook."
"You got your yardstick handy?"THPOGLL
"I don't even like to look at my own X-Rays."
Mike: "What, are you looking for a date?"
Lennie: "'Open-minded MBBF seeks mature man.'"
Mike: "What's that, male bisexual bondage freak?"
Lennie: "I'm more in the mood for a BLT."THPOGLL
"Great, if we knew who it was, we'd know who it was."QLB
Tattoo artist: "It's gonna last this girl a lifetime."
Briscoe: "It already did."
[Scene: Lennie is practicing his speech to the dead girl's mother.]
"Oh hello Mrs. Russell. We just saw a video of your daughter getting raped and shot in the head." QLB
"Arrest him, Mike. I don't want to get my hands dirty."
"Grandma always said a smack in the head was the best cure for the crazies."BR>
"Ya know, Mike, if I didn't already know you don't have kids, I'd know you don't have kids." QLB
"I'm still waiting for Ed McMahon to show up at my door."
"Those MD plates get you a better parking spot in heaven."
Logan: "Oh brother -- and I thought I had it bad growing up with two alcoholics."
Briscoe: "I wonder which mommy's going to teach him to smoke and drink."
Logan: "And shave."
Briscoe: "Well, it's the 90's. Everybody can be gross and disgusting, not just you."
School secretary: "I'm sorry, I can't release the Harrigans� address. You'll have to see the headmaster."
Briscoe: "Miss, we're not asking for the questions to next week's algebra exam."
Secretary: "LCC protects the privacy of its students and their parents. It has done so for one hundred and thirty years. It's not up to me to change school policy."
Briscoe: "Well, our organization goes back even farther than that, and our policy includes such things as search warrants." QLB
"If anyone wants to hear some of this, I could 'accidentally' hit the intercom button."
Logan: "The way those people keep secrets, they oughtta give lessons to the CIA. What'd the kid do, stage a circle jerk in the locker room?"
Lennie: "Worse -- probably brought some of mom's corned beef and cabbage to the school tea party."
Logan: "So then you'll be collecting how much?"
Man: "$4.8 million. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me."
Briscoe: "Oh? Sounds like you've had a pretty nice life so far."
"Some alibi-'I'm not an arsonist, I'm an extortionist.'" QLB
"The babe in the woods act doesn't quite go with the Armani suit."
"What, were you expecting a visit from the tooth fairy?"
"Today's topic: 'Do female hardhats lie?'"
"That concludes the entertainment portion of our program."
"They pay me plenty to look like an idiot." QLB
, THPOGLL
"In retrospect, it does seem fair to say that the prosecution of Mr. Chapel was premature." QLB
"Maybe some guy didn't wear his aluminum hat and some rays told him to knock on doors and kill people." QLB
Logan: "Now I know why I stayed single."
Briscoe: "I thought it was the quality time you spent with yourself." QLB
Mike: "Looks like a 10 inch single blade knife did it."
Lennie: "Weapon of choice at Thanksgiving."
Profaci: "You goin' to Hanrighty's later?"
Lennie: "Gotta date."
Profaci: "At midnight? You call that a date, Lennie?"
Lennie: "The later it gets, the better they look." QLB
(looking into dead cop's wallet): "Eleven bucks? That's about right for a cop." QLB
(to Logan): "You want to get even with Krolinsky? Put him in the shower at Ossining for 5 minutes." QLBTHPOGLL
"[The Catholic Church as an] unindited co-conspirator? My aunt who says the rosary every morning is gonna have a conniption." QLB
"The color of the day is aquamarine."
"My reading skills aren't what they used to be."
"Save the post-game wrap-up for the shrinks."
Mike: "The church should've dropped a dime on this guy 30 years ago."
Lennie: "Oh, yeah, right. Because they're the only people in the world who scratch each other's backs, unlike cops and politicians, just to name two."
"Mr. Brock here is a lonely guy. He goes to bars and hangs out in the men's room."
Officer: "The last time we sifted a dumpster, the investigating officer got in here himself."
Lennie: "That's fascinating. I think you missed a spot over there."QLB
"Great, we're looking for a gigantic first grader."THPOGLL
"Johnson's the 43rd cabbie killed in the last 12 months. These guys have shorter life spans than fruit flies." QLB
Forensics guy: "Their car wash policy must be once every leap year. There's a million overlapping prints on that cab."
Briscoe: "What about the ones on top?" QLB
(Discussing with Mike the possibility that a psychiatrist's murderer might be one of her patients): "Yeah. But without the patient records, we have no way of knowing which kernel was getting ready to pop." THPOGLL
Hey, Mike, when we get to some heavy breathing, I'll wake you up."
"My second wife always wanted a walk-in closet. Now I finally got one. Trouble is, I live in it."THPOGLL
Anita: "What do you got?"
Lennie: "New evidence May-December romances don't work."QLB
"What do I like? Well, nothing bizarre."
Male prostitute: "You married, Lennie?"
Lennie: "On and off." THPOGLL