"The fact is my ex-wives are both thrilled I got this. They're under the mistaken impression that I'm heavily insured." THPOGLL
"Hey, your Italians and Hispanics kill for love. Micks kill for money."
"In your jacket, I saw 'lying' listed under vocational skills."
"Let's pretend we're on the same horse."
"Forensics just gave the leading lady a rave review."
"Swinging a mop--another lost art in America."
"You guys are throwing around more dust than Mount St. Helens."
Man under arrest: "You are making a terrible mistake. You have no idea what you are doing."
Lennie: "Sounds just like my second wife." THPOGLL
"Trade consul -- those kind of jobs usually come in a barrel labeled pork."
(Discussing the possibility of a delivery boy committing a murder)
Mike: "Could be he didn't like the tip."
Lennie: "Could be nothin's that easy."THPOGLL
(Looking through a photo album)
Mike: "Looks like a honeymoon."
Lennie: "You've never been married." THPOGLL
(Discussing the importance of the Bar Mitzvah): "Some people would take the bus from Chicago. Me? I'd just send a check." THPOGLL
"First-year guys -- they're like puppies. You gotta show them the stick before you throw it."
"If this girl was killed by a junkie, then I believe Elvis is at Radio City tonight." THPOGLL
"Kid's got more stories than the Arabian Nights."
Lawyer: "My client has an alibi."
Lennie: "Yeah, a girl so stoned, she thinks the day is 240 hours long."
"No, I keep my mittens in a trunk in the attic."
"OK. Sing along with me, Skate. You know the words. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say.... "THPOGLL
Logan: "Maybe they just oughtta legalize it."
Briscoe: "Oh yeah, another half a million crackheads."
Logan: "You don't know that. Would you take it? Would I? Listen, a junkie's gonna be a junkie whether it's legal or not."
Briscoe: "So we should sell it in the drug stores?"
Logan: "Damn straight. No one puts a knife in your gut to feed their habit."
Briscoe: "Any junkies in your family?"
Logan: "Booze. And if you made it illegal, they'd cook it up on the stove."
Briscoe: "OK, so write your congressman."
Logan: "Now how was she going to see?"
Lennie: "The Navy's Funniest Videos?"
"Only losers bluff after the table's already seen their hand."
Navy lawyer: "Our common goal is punishing a criminal...The military moves to a much quicker beat."
Lennie: "You know, Lieutenant, I never had much of a sense of rhythm." THPOGLL
"Praise the Lord and pass the muffins."
"Smart and crazy -- that's a hell of a pair."
Logan: "They all have priors?"
Lennie: "No, not all. About 264 out of 270. If we interviewed like five a day, maybe we'd catch a break by next Christmas."
"Deuces get you an extra helping of insulin?"
Police computer expert: "D.O.D. -- Department of Doom. It's a local hackers gang, best known for breaking into the Sanitation Department's computer & shutting down service for 2 days."
Lennie: "Probably took that long for anybody to notice." THPOGLL
"Yeah, you get a prize. How 'bout 25 years in the penitentiary of your choice?"
"I wish people would stick to bullets or knives."
(Discussing possible motives for killing a man who was shot in the head and dragged by a car.)
Lennie: "Could be the mob."
Mike: "Could be a carjacking."
Lennie: "Could be a hack who didn't like his tip." THPOGLL
"Doesn't anybody jitterbug anymore?"
"You can't be as dumb as your haircut."
"I don't know if you get a gold star for loyalty in your country, but over here, all you get is a set of striped pajamas and the word 'schmoe' stamped on your forehead."
"What's Russian for 'you're under arrest'?"
Cragen (trying to persuade Briscoe and Logan to drop an investigation of other cops): "I'm worried about you losing your house and eatin' macaroni the next 20 years."
Lennie: "I lost 2 houses already, and I like macaroni."THPOGLL