"Dogs don't kill people, people kill people."
"Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'doggie bags'."
"You're howling at the moon, Counselor."
"I didn't know mayors from New Jersey had diplomatic immunity."
Green: "You know, I hate to admit it, but she's right."
Briscoe: "Yeah, she does that every now and then."
"All I smell is beer and its byproducts."
"It's the Sopranos. Makes 'em think they can get away with anything."
"Killing off the competition. Good business plan."
"The dialysis defense. That's a new one."
Green: "He's in the clear for both murders."
Briscoe: "Perfectly good suspect. I hate when that happens."
"I knew these fake parking stubs would come in handy someday."
"Careful! Don't want to hurt that hat!"
(holding knife) "It's a jungle out there, huh?"
"The super's straight out of the Addams family and the lady who owns the place has a very pronounced pole up her ass."
Mrs. Ramos: "Miss Virginia is very, very kind. In this house, she is a saint."
Lennie: "Well, now it's official because somebody killed her."
"I'm not even going to ask what pinking is."
"Pinking shears -- and I don't think that's chocolate."
Ed: "I remember watching Vega's Christmas specials when I was a kid. What happened to him?"
Lennie: "He took up with a guy named Jack Daniels."
Ed: "It's a sucker's play."
Lennie: "What, killing your wife?"
Ed: "No, spreading your bet. You place a bet straight on the nose, you don't go back to cover your bases."
Lennie: "What about to cover your ass?"
Anita: "Maybe he thought a nine millimeter divorce would be cheaper."
Lennie: "Not to mention less bloody."
Ed: "Maybe I ought to get myself a manager."
Lennie: "Singing at a karaoke bar doesn't count."
"Thanks for the law lesson."
Lennie (reading a letter): "I enjoy clubbing, horseback riding, and phone sex."
Ed: "Sounds like your type, Lennie."
Lennie: "I don't club."
Cahill: "They're the next N*Sync."
Lennie: "Well, we're a little out of sync right now."
"One more dead crack dealer. Practically a public service."
"I guess I'm getting lazy in my old age."
"They wanted to raise carrots. He wanted to raise money."
"Safe sex...very responsible."
(to Ed): "You're so good at guessing, Dionne Warrick."
"You think Manhattan's a wasteland? Wait till you see Riker's Island!"
"Hey, trail mix!"
"A, he told us he was at work all day, B, our Mr. GreenJeans doesn't even own a car."
"Even I've heard of G-Trane."
"Nice to know the hip hop business is recession proof."
"You're parked in a no-standing zone."
G Trane: "I'm a suspect?"
Lennie: "Let's just say you're on our guest list."
Woman: "Mr. Reddick didn't really look forward to meetings with other lawyers."
Lennie: "I know the feeling."
"Guy sells Chippendale but he objects to porn."
Larson: "Can I at least change?"
Lennie: "Oh, don't worry. The kind of pictures we take are only from the neck up."
"'Hook up'? What, are these guys trying to get laid or tow her car?"
Burrows: "I don't have a gun."
Lennie: "Oh no? What do you do--throw the bullets?"
Green: "This would put the shooter in the sinner's seat."
Briscoe: "Wonder how many Hail Mary's that rates?"
Ed: "Don Bosco newsletter."
Boswell: "We get it every month, so what?"
Ed: "Yeah, well, on the front page, it has the schedule of Confession. It has the priest's name, the day, and the time he's going to be there."
Lennie: "Oh, sort of like a 'how-to' for somebody who might want to kill him."
"We don't like it when people run, Angel. Kind of gets things off on the wrong foot."
Reggie: "My age, my memory sometimes fails me."
Lennie: "Your rap sheet says you're 42!"
"I'm thinking another woman. I mean, it's the only thing worth lying to your wife about."
Kid: "There's an after-hours clubs down there."
Lennie: "After what hours? It's 10 o'clock in the morning!"
"I love it when they don't have an alibi."
Hamilton: "We've been hemorrhaging jobs and money to Atlantic City and Connecticut."
Lennie: "My partner's done a little bleeding in both places."
"My idea of fusion is hamburger meets French fries."
"She makes Legal Aid feel like a day at the beach."
(To a suspect): "On behalf of the New York City Police Department, it's a pleasure to have you back with us."
"Reason number 37 for me not to open my email."
"How 'bout we just post your arrest on the internet instead?"
"Any mother too good to be true usually is -- except mine."
Student: "I'm going to file a complaint!"
Lennie: "Ahh, stick it on your message board, Lurch."
"You know, the next time you're in a laundry room, you might want to try doing some laundry."
"It's always a plus when your vices pay off."
"I'd kill one of my ex-brother-in-laws for free."
"Pretty talkative for a dead guy."
"Consider yourself benched."
"Just once I'd like to make one of you bastards break the news to the parents."
Jimmy: "Blood on it. I didn't want to touch that. God diseases."
Lennie: "This from a guy who keeps his stuff in a dumpster."
"Get ready to open a vein, Jimmy, if you've got any left."
(Looking at pictures): "It's enough to make me want to take up tofu."
"What's the matter? You look like you're about to have a cow."
"You want fries with that?"
Ed: "That's the problem with you AA types. You see an alcoholic behind every bush."
Lennie; "Which is where they are."
"If anybody was going to bring out the mean in him, it'd be the ex."
Anita: "Stepmom's out doing her thing, dad's out drinking, kids are left home."
Lennie: "Welcome to the new American family."
"Home Alone's a movie, not an alibi."
"I'd swear too, if my DNA was under a dead woman's fingernails."
"A little dazz'll do ya, huh, Doc?"
"Information is currency -- and in Drucker's business, it usually takes some to get it."
Father: "Half the kids on Leahy's team, they don't even speak English."
Lennie: "As opposed to the majors."
Leahy: "Warrant? For what?"
Lennie; "It's not for stealing home."
"It's a side benefit for gang-bangers -- no reportable income and free counsel."
"He probably stumbled on the first step."
Leon: "I demand to see a lawyer."
Lennie: "All right. Just try not to shoot this one."
(after hearing an especially bad alibi): "Leon, that was five minutes of my life I'll never get back."
"You know, we'd ask you if you wanted a lawyer, but you are one."
"'One hour nap special.' Sounds like one of my honeymoons.,"
Ed: "This guy thinks he's Spiderman."
Lennie: "Yeah, only without the superpowers."
Jensen: "I'm on a call right now!"
Lennie; "Don't worry about it. If your client's in jail, you'll see him in person in about an hour."
"You know, your old man would have at least had a card game going."
"This guy wasn't just flying below the radar. He was off the screen."
"I think I'll stick with [keeping my money under] my mattress."
"Nothing virtual about that reality."
"Hey, take a look, partner. There's supposed to be two towers standing over there."
"If we'd been a little more alert the first time, maybe there wouldn't have been a first time."
"I love it when they make it easy like that."
"Join the FBI, learn the pass the buck."
"'Search' doesn't always mean 'destroy'."
"Good morning, Yemen."
Miller: "I didn't murder anyone."
Lennie: "Oh yeah? There's someone down at the M.E.'s office doing a pretty good impression of a dead guy."