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Bryan stayed with Nicky until it was time to go to work. He had a hard time
waking him up, he hadn't woke up once since he fell into the deep sleep.
"Come on Nic" Bryan shook him. Nicky moaned, bringing his hands
up to rub
his face. "Oh god. I feel like crap" His throat burned.
his head still
pounded, but he knew there was only one thing that would make him feel good
"Here, drink this" Bryan gave him a glass of water. He eagerly
consumed it.
Bryan couldn't believe the state he was in. He'd never been like this before.
"Hey" Shane said as he tapped on the door. "How is
he?"
"He's not too good mate"
"Hey. I am still here you know!" Nicky said angrily
"What's the big deal?
So I had a bit too much to drink, it happens you know"
"That wasn't just drink and you know it!" Shane said coldly
A look of panic crossed Nicky's face, for that instant he knew his career
could be snatched away if they ever knew what a junkie he was. He didn't care
to think that his career wouldn't be the only thing
"I need a shower" Nicky grumbled, he pushed past Bryan and
Shane, they were
still in shock at the state he was in last night
"You think we should tell Louis?" Bryan asked, concerned for his
friend
"Like that'd work Bry. Louis would hit the roof if he even knew that Nicky
was out drinking last night, to admit more wouldn't be exactly the best
plan"
"I'm worried Shane!"
"You and me both man"
Anto gathered the lads up, he was pleasantly surprised that Mark was back so
soon
"I told you I'd be back" Mark said quietly
"Maybe, but you still shouldn't have gone. Louis will be on the warpath
when
he knows you're back!"
"Well, that's his hard luck" Mark said confidently, although he
wasn't
looking forward to been confronted by him
Anto sighed and gave them the morning's schedule. He took a quick glance at
Nicky, propped up against the wall, eyes closed, threatening to slide to the
floor.
"Oi!" He yelled at Nicky "Wake up!"
Nicky almost jumped a mile in the air, he was totally knackered. The two
hours sleep he got weren't nearly enough. He needed something to pep him up.
"Sorry" He mumbled
Anto showed them all to the waiting car and they left for the day's work.
I woke up in Mark's bed. I hardly remembered falling asleep. I knew that I
had to talk to Nicky today, he really had me worried. Unfaithful or not, he
still meant too much to me.
I glanced at my watch, and groaned. How could I have slept in so late? It was
after 2. Granted I didn't get to sleep until 5, but I cursed myself for been
so tardy
Finding a note from Mark, reminding me that Shane's girlfriend would be
arriving today
I was pleased that I'd get to see her again, I've only seen her a few times,
what with Nicky hardly ever inviting me out on the road.
I was slightly envious of Shane and Tonya's relationship. Shane was devoted
to her, though they'd only been together six months, it was obvious that he
loved her. I smiled, happy with the fact that at least someone could be happy
Louis demanded Mark's presence in his office, he couldn't put it off any
longer, and if he was honest, he was glad to get away from Nicky. He'd being
in a killer mood all day, he couldn't risk talking to him for fear of getting
his head bitten off.
He still wanted to confront him with what he knew, but that had to wait as he
sat in Louis' office, tapping his fingers against the chair.
Louis had a way of making him squirm, he just sat there staring at him. Mark
had had enough
"I'm here now, so either yell at me or I'll leave!"
Louis continued to stare in silence. The eerie silence continued to grate at
Mark. It was worse than been screamed at, not knowing what the outcome would
be.
"You were way out of line Mark" Louis finally said
"I told Anto I had to leave, I didn't just go without a word!"
"He didn't okay it, and if he didn't, then you can be sure that I
wouldn't!"
"What does it matter? I'm back now. I didn't miss any work"
"You're missing the point. I need to know that you're committed to Westlife"
"Come on. You know I am!"
"You proved that you weren't by taking off when the mood takes you"
"You don't understand...."
"I'll be keeping an extra close eye on you. Consider yourself on probation
as
from now"
"What!" Mark all but screamed at him
"You heard" Louis turned his back to him. Mark left his office,
fuming. As
far as Mark was concerned, Louis was the one who was out of line, he couldn't
even see that Nicky was gradually going off the rails, if anyone needed
watching it was him.
The lads returned from an exhausting day. They were ready to just crash out
in their rooms, well Nicky was the exception. He was no sooner back at the
hotel, then he rushed out again.
"Where's he off to in such a hurry?" Kian asked
"I'll give you three guesses" Mark mumbled
"You don't seriously think he's seeing his bit on the side, not while Caz
is
here?" Bryan asked amazed
"Of course he is" Mark said dryly "Why
change the habit of a lifetime?"
Shane sighed, and kept glancing at his watch, today had dragged, he just
wanted Tonya to be here. He'd left a message with reception that if she turns
up to send her up to his room.
"Shane!"
He stopped on his way up to his room, the familiar voice caused his face to
light up.
"Oh god, you're finally here!" Shane rushed towards her and
swept her up in
his inviting embrace
"Shane, what's wrong with Nicky?" It had been worrying her ever
since she
heard.
"He's changed Tonya, he's not the same Nic"
This puzzled her. "I don't understand Shane"
He caressed her cheek, there was so much to tell her, but right now he just
needed her comfort
"I really needed that" Nicky smiled as he swirled around Nily's
bedroom.
He'd never felt as good as he did now, his problems were forgotten as his
high took him away to a new level. One filled with peace, the euphoria he was
feeling was more special than anything he'd ever experienced before.
He repaid Nily the best way he could. His mind was never on the matter at
hand when he was high, it was as if he was removed.
"I need cash" She said afterwards. He nodded, knowing that money
was no
object, and if he refused, he'd be stuck for a dealer. He knew he could get
his hands on anything he wanted in the business, but he didn't want to risk
anyone uncovering the real Nicky. The public only saw the sweet, polite,
always got a smile for the camera Nicky. He knew the press would have a field
day if they knew that wasn't him at all, and as for his career. He may as
well play russian roulette with that. Reaching into his wallet he handed her
�200, she looked at the money then back at him, snatching the notes from him
"It's not enough! Do you know how much this stuff costs!" She
yelled at him.
He recoiled and handed her another �150. "It's all I have on me Nily"
"It'll do I suppose" She said ungratefully
"I need you to get me a big supply this time"
"Why?" She asked suspiciously
"I won't be in London for much longer. Remember I'm in a pop band"
"Not my problem, you get what I give you"
Nicky was silent, knowing this is what she wanted. He asked himself why he
was with her, and he only came up with one conclusion. Because I love her.
But his love wasn't that fast at been returned. He knew he was only a toy to
her, but he didn't know why. Granted she was the sole reason for his change
in behaviour, but as she had told him time and time again. "I just released
the real you Nicky"
Mark smiled at me as he made up the couch. His brow was furrowed, he couldn't
shake the previous conversation with Louis. It grated at him, he knew he
could just tell him that Nicky was the one to keep a watchful eye on, but he
knew world war three would erupt
"Are you okay?" I asked as I slid into bed
"Yes. Just been a long day" He smiled to ease my worries. I was
upset that I
hadn't had chance to talk to Nicky, I hadn't seen him since last night, I
knew something serious was wrong, and knowing that seemed to help. Just
knowing there was a reason to his strange anti social behaviour
I knew where he was though. With her. I couldn't stop the tears, it was
useless holding back the inevitable.
I turned over in bed and muffled my sobs with the pillow. Mark's ears pricked
up, he sat upright and quietly walked towards me.
"What's wrong?" He asked. He perched on the edge of the bed,
debated whether
he should reach out to offer comfort
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. This was becoming a bit of a habit. Crying on him.
I refused to let it happen again "Sorry, you certainly don't need
this Mark"
"Need what?" He asked, clueless
"You don't want me burdening you Mark. You let me sleep in your bed and how
do I repay you? I burden you"
Mark stared at me "First of all you're not burdening me. You never
could"
"Really?"
"Yes" He smiled "And secondly, you have good reason
to be upset. If you
want to cry, go straight ahead"
Hearing him speak so fondly brought more tears to my eyes, I wasn't used to
anyone caring about me, well not in a long while anyway
"Would you stay here?" I asked, I didn't want to be alone. The
look that
crossed his features was plain curiosity, mixed with slight embarrassment. I
looked away "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked"
"No, if you want me here, then I'll stay" He slid down the bed
and pulled me
close. As I fell asleep, he just laid there, unable to drift off, not wanting
to move for fear of waking me
Why can't it always be like this? He thought. Nothing feels better than
holding you
Unable to sleep, Tonya took a walk outside. Shane was sleeping like a baby,
it still puzzled her as to why he hadn't opened up to her, but she understood
that everyone had secrets. She was clear on one thing though. Nicky was
having an affair. That made her so angry
"God, it's freezing!" She said out loud, the rain pelted down
furiously. She
had thoughts of the hot weather, back home in Florida. Home. She never missed
it, not when she was with Shane. It was a clique, but he completed her, she
feared nothing when she was around him, when she was alone was a different
matter.
A figure staggered up the pathway to the entrance. She stood back, slightly
apprehensive.
Her heart almost stopped when she caught the eye of the figure.
"Nicky?" She asked unsurely
He stopped and looked her way, the look in his eyes was too much for her.
Fear raced through her, his smile although not exactly comforting calmed her
racing heart
"Tonya right? Shane's bird?" Nicky was all over the place. As
usual his head
was pounding, and he just wanted his bed
"That's right" She knew she'd regret this, yet she had to ask
"What's
happened to you?"
"Nothing... has.... happened!" He yelled, taking his time with
pronouncing
each word
"This is why Shane wants me here isn't it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Shane just wants some
action" He
grinned
She reacted fast to that comment, her hand connected with Nicky's cheek, it
stunned him, she was shocked at herself for doing that, but composed herself
"Shane is not a slut. He's not you" She rushed back inside,
wanting the
warmth and security of Shane. Being face to face with Nicky had scared her
beyond belief. She saw the demon inside him.
"It's happening again" She whispered, on the verge of tears. She
woke Shane
up as she returned to his room
"What is it?" He saw the panic on her face, he'd never seen her
like this
before
"N....Nothing. I just saw Nicky"
Shane jumped out of bed "Did he hurt you!" He demanded
"Of course not honey. Calm down" Her fear left her as she took
him in her
arms. She was strong and determined, one of the qualities that made Shane
give away his heart so gladly. She kept quiet about Nicky, now wasn't the
time. His face would never leave her mind though. As she closed her eyes, she
saw his eyes, cold, yet she felt him reaching out for someone, anyone. Could
I be that someone? She asked herself
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