Chapter 9
Mark had returned home with Bailey to find the house empty of Briana, her things, a few of his things and dishes broken from her rage. Bailey helped his Uncle Mark clean up the mess, talking about the football game that he would be attending with Nicky the next day. Bailey had grown to like Nicky in the short weeks that he was dating his mommy. Nicky played football, like his daddy and seeing Nicky on the field or coaching gave Bailey a glimpse of his daddy. He was going to the match with Nicky, alone. Bailey loved the thought of Nicky playing with him, introducing him to his friends and then be a part of the celebration afterwards. Somehow the thought of Nicky took the words of Briana away. He didn't know what Bitch meant but he was sure it was bad and he didn't like anyone calling his mommy names. Mark finally got the hyper lad to bed and found himself on the couch with his eyes closed letting the music flow through him. He was enjoying the peace of the house as his soul was finally at peace. He thought about Sidney and the love he had for her. He couldn't believe that he had loved her since they first met. But it was those last two weeks in London that he really fell for Sidney. He thought she had fallen for him, the words, the touch, the kiss, the...
Sidney walked into the house of darkness and silence. She sat outside Mark's house for a few minutes, hoping to hold her son as the words of Briana haunted her again. But the thought of seeing Mark made her travel the road home. Sidney was not ready for the confrontation that she needed with Mark and didn't even know how to ask the question. Did he love her? She wrapped the towel around her damp hair, poured her tea and sat down on the couch. She turned on the radio as she slowly sipped her tea. Her hand still ached from hitting Briana but it felt good. It felt good to get out the anger although Briana wasn't the cause of her anger. Sidney hated Mark at the moment, hating him for still having feelings for her. It had been too long since they were together. She had married Michael and built a life with him. She had a son who she loved more then life. It was only two weeks, only two weeks of ...love.... kisses...touching....
"There were nights when the wind was so cold, that my body was froze in bed, if I just listened to it, right outside my window. There were days when the sun was so cruel, that all the tears turned to dust, and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever. I finished crying in the instant that you left, and I can't remember where or when or how, I banished every memory you and I had ever made."
London-seven-year prior
"I can't believe that I am going home tomorrow." Sidney said as she sat in Mark's room of the hotel, looking at the window. She had grown to love London in the months she had been there but it was the last two weeks with Mark that made London special. They had just finished a game of tennis and was getting cleaned up for dinner. It was their last night together as they were both leaving the next day to their own world. Sidney had already accomplished her beauty feats in her room and as always, Mark was running late.
"This summer has gone by so fast." Mark called from the bathroom as he made the finishing touches. He applied cologne to his neck and chest and brushed his hair one last time.
"I know. I start college in two weeks. I just wish I could stay here forever." Sidney said as Mark walked into the living room buttoning his shirt. She couldn't believe how beautiful he was. He had the best lips and she loved how he kissed her. Her heart was broken from Michael but Mark was a wonderful distraction.
"NO!" She thought, she could not think about Mark's kisses. She fell in love with Michael when they were in London. It broke her heart when he ended the relationship with her but she loved Michael...she loved...
"You look beautiful." Mark said as he walked over to her. Her blonde hair shined from the afternoon sun as she smiled at him. Mark reached out his hand as she stood up. He wrapped his arms around her as she stood in the embrace. She placed her head on his chest as he kissed her hair. "Where shall we eat? Pick some place nice, this is our last night together." Mark said as Sidney looked into his blue eyes. She saw so much in his eyes, the world, life and love for her. "Mark, I love you." Sidney said as she reached up to kiss him.
"She had said it." He thought. She had said the words and he knew that she meant it. It felt so wonderful to have her say the words...it melted his heart...."NO!" he can't think about it, she didn't love him anymore.... She didn't love him...
He pulled her to him as the kiss lingered. "I love you too, Sid. Always have and always will." Mark said as he kissed her forehead. "About dinner..."
"Let's order in." Sidney said smiling interrupting him.
"We can do that." Mark said as he gave her a squeeze.
Mark stood up from the couch and turned the radio up. He stretched from the tension of Briana and paced in the room trying to forget London.... trying to forget Sidney.
Sidney finished her tea and set it on the end table. She kicked off her
slippers as she lay down on the couch. She slowly got lost in the music as
she closed her eyes.
"There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light, there were things I 'd never do again. But then they'd always seemed right, there were nights of endless pleasure, it was more then any laws allow."
They ordered dinner, sat in each other's arms, ate the food and sat in each other's arms, again. They had tried so desperately to make time stop as they sat quietly. Sidney felt so safe in Mark's arms. She felt his love through his touch. Mark didn't want the moment to end. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring or cared. He was with Sidney and that was all that mattered.
"Mark, I don't want to go to my room tonight." Sidney said as she turned to face him.
"You can sleep here, I will be the perfect gentleman." Mark said smiling.
"Mark, I want to make love to you." Sidney said shyly. Mark didn't know what to say. Somehow saying, "yes", just didn't seem like the right answer. Sidney was suddenly hurt in Mark's silence. She didn't want anything else right now but to be with him.
"I love you, Sidney. And I am honored that you want to be with me in that way but I want you to be..."Sidney kissed Mark's lips as she grabbed him and leaned him down on the couch. She began to unbutton his shirt as she kissed his neck. "Sidney, I know that this will be your first time. Are you..."
"How did you know?" Sidney said stopping her passionate kisses.
"Michael told me." Mark looked into her eyes to find the truth, to see if she was ready."
"Does that bother you?" Sidney asked as she lay on top of Mark.
"No, I just want you to be sure. This is something you can't take back." Mark pulled her down on him as he held her.
"Mark, I love you and I can't think of a better way to show you how much by giving this to you." Sidney said as she listened to his heartbeat.
"I love you, Sidney. From the first time I met you." Mark pulled her face up to look at her. She was perfect, this moment was perfect and making love to her was all he wanted.... all he needed....
"Damn it!" Mark yelled. Why was he torturing himself? Why was he thinking about that night? He knew he would never have it again. He knew he would never be with Sidney in that way. He threw his fist up in the air as he cussed his life.
"Mark felt so good." Sidney thought as a smile came to her mouth. She thought
about his touch as she wrapped her arms around her chest. But then she
stopped herself. What was she doing to herself? She can't think about that
night... it was too long ago...
"If I kiss you like this, and if you whisper like that, it was lost long ago, but it's all coming back to me. If you want me like this, and if you need me like this. It was dead long ago, but it's all coming back to me, I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now."
Mark lay on Sidney looking into her blue eyes. They were both exhausted from the excitement as sweat poured down his face. Sidney simply lingered in the pleasure of him. Mark kissed her lips again as they laid in each other arms. It felt so perfect for their bodies to be so close in the pureness of skin. Sidney traced his neck to his chest as she lay in his arms. The world was just Mark and Sidney, there was no tomorrow, there was no Sligo, no California and no Michael.
"Are you all right? I didn't hurt you?" Mark asked as he kissed her hair. She laid her head on his chest as he held her, never wanting to let her go.
"It hurt a little..." Sidney sat up and looked at Mark. "But well worth it."
"Well, since it only hurt a little.." Mark said laughing as he pulled her on top of him and began kissing her even more passionately then before. They enjoyed each other again and again that night. As pure exhaustion finally took them over, sleep made it's way into the night.
Mark jumped up from the couch as he could hear Bailey calling for him. He turned the radio off and walked to his bedroom. He stood in the hallway as a last thought of Sidney crept in his mind. The last thought as he said good-bye to her that summer.... never looking back at that night.... never to speak of it again...
A tear softly rolled down Sidney's face as she wiped it away. She never told Michael about that night. She never told Michael that she loved Mark...How could she forget? How could she let her feelings go and let Mark....how could she forget...
"When you touch me like this, and when you hold me like that, it was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me, When you see me like this, when I see you like that, then we see what we want to see, all coming back to me, the flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me, I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me."
Celine Dion; It's all coming back to me.