Chapter 35
Sidney
laid restless in her bed, the words of Mark haunting her, Bailey crying out for
his daddy, her own father having
to pick up the pieces of her sad life. She was an awful person, an awful friend,
an awful lover, a most important, and an awful mother. She tried to find sleep,
her head was hurting, and her eyes swollen form the tears. She could no longer
lie in her bed, sitting up she slipped on her shoes and walked down the long
hallway. She stopped at Bailey�s room, thanking God that he had finally found
sleep. A soft tear running down her cheek, he was so innocent and pure, her
purpose before her. She made her way to the front porch, the night breeze
hitting her face, chills running down her spine, something was in the air. She
sat down on the swing, many nights she found comfort there, swaying, running the
thoughts in her head. Her father would join her, their conversation to what was
bothering her. Her and Michael had even spent nights on the swing, talking about
their life together.
Sidney stood up from the swing, walking towards the front steps, her arms crossed over her chest. She was exhausted, the tears still coming, not sure what she should do.
�Sidney.�
Said a soft voice coming from behind her. Sidney didn�t move, the chills
increased down her back. �Chumhra.� The voice said again, Sidney standing in
disbelief.
�Whoever
is out there, this is not funny. There is only one person that called me��
�Chumhra,
don�t be afraid.� The voice said again, coming closer, taking an image.
Sidney slowly turned around, her eyes misty from her tears, a hand
reaching out to her. �Please, don�t be frightened.�
�Michael?�
Sidney said her knees weakening, her heart racing. His hand caught her in a near
collapse, holding her up, supporting her strength.
�Sidney,
honey.� Michael said softly.
�No,
Michael, it can�t be�you�but��
�You
cried out to me.� Michael finally said kissing her forehead to show he was
real.
You
used to say, everyday,
We
will always be this way
Flying
angels lifting high,
To
reach the sun where I belong,
Girl,
You know you are the one,
Above
the clouds I see you cry.
�I don�t understand�how can you be here.� Sidney said, Michael still holding her in the embrace.
�Honey,
I don�t have much time. I came because you are so sad and distraught.�
Michael brushed back her blonde hair from her eyes; he lingered in her hair,
feeling the softness. �You hair is still so soft. I remember stroking your
hair when you slept.�
�NO!�
Sidney yelled pushing him away. �You are not Michael. You are not��
�Chumhra.�
Michael spoke again. Chumhra was
the Irish word for Sweetpea. It was his pet name for Sidney. It was his secret
name for her and every time she heard Michael call her by it, it would always
bring a smile to her lips. But now it only brought fear and sadness. She was
staring at a ghost; once again she was being tormented.
�Sidney,
you need to smile again. You are not a bad mother, Bailey loves you.� Michael
said stepping towards her.
�NO!�
Sidney yelled again, her face in her hands.
�Sidney,
please, listen to me.� Michael said softly touching her. Sidney began to relax
in his touch, his arms slightly around her. �Your smile was what always got me
through everything.�
You
know that when you smile,
You
stop the rain,
And
we will be together,
Once
again.
Michael held Sidney as they swayed in the swing. He was quiet, letting the sight of him sinking in. Sidney sat in his arms, having the same feelings. His touch the same, his smell the same and as he softly caressed her cheek; it was like he had never left. She had always found comfort in his arms, safe and now�she was feeling the same thing.
�Michael�what
are you doing here.� Sidney finally said sitting up.
�I
need to tell you some things. I could not take your tears any longer.� Michael
took her hand and held it in his. Her hand fitting perfectly. He knew that
coming to her would be hard but it was even harder for Michael, the time would
come and he would have to leave and to never hold her again.
Although
I am gone,
Remember
me,
Please
be strong, I�ll never leave,
Just
hold on,
To
the memories,
Cuz
while I am here,
All
I�m thinking about is
Tomorrow
�Sid, you aren�t a bad mother. Never think that.� Michael finally said, his time limited.
�Bailey
has been crying out for you, it just breaks my heart. I can�t help him.�
Sidney said looking into his blue eyes.
�I
know honey, but he is only crying because he doesn�t know how to tell you.�
Michael was quickly getting lost in her eyes, he was told that he could hold
her, talk to her but he would not be able to kiss her lips.
�Tell
me what?� Sidney said moving closer to him. �Please tell me.�
�He
doesn�t understand what happened between Mark and Nicky. He was angry with
them for hurting you�but Sidney, he misses Mark.� Michael said looking down.
�He is crying out to Mark�as he daddy.� Michael said with a soft crack in
his voice. He had to admit; he could see Sidney with Mark�they were meant for
each other but for Bailey to cry out to Mark and not him. But Michael wasn�t
there, Mark was what Bailey needed.
I�ve
always known,
The
love you�ve shown,
Means
I�ll never be alone,
There�ll
be times you wonder why,
Seeing
you with someone new,
Used
to make me so blue
But
now I�m with you,
All
the time.
�Michael,
I just don�t know what I can do��
�You
need to go back to Sligo. You need to be�� Michael stopped, his words seized
by Sidney lips on his. The feel of them, the sweetness as she brushed her tongue
between his lips, parting them slightly. �Sidney.� Michael said gently
pulling away from her.
�I�m
sorry, I had to know�You are Michael.� She said smiling.
�There�s
my smile.� Michael said tracing her lips with is fingers.
You
know when you smile,
You
stop the rain,
And
we will be together,
Once
again.
�My
time is limited here. But you have to be with Mark.� Michael quickly said,
seeing the light above him coming closer.
�So
much has happened�so much has been said. I just don�t know��
�Don�t
waste the time. We had five great years together, five short years but I feel
that I didn�t say everything I needed to say to you. So please, honey, don�t
waste��
�You
told me every day that you loved me.� Sidney said brushing the curls in his
hair, the same curls of Bailey. �That was all I need to hear.�
From
the moment that I looked into your eyes,
All
my life I thought I�d be there, by your side,
I
wish I�d took the time to find the words to say.
�You deserve to be happy.� Michael said standing up, the light getting closer. �Mark can make you happy. I know you love him. Don�t feel bad for that.�
�I
do but I have��
�He
will be a wonderful father. He loves Bailey so much.� Michael began to step
away, the light now coming behind him.
�Michael,
don�t go. I have so much more I want to tell you. To ask you.� Sidney said
standing up, reaching out to him.
�I
am always here. I am never apart from you. Please, go back to Mark. You need
him. He needs you.� Michael�s voice began to fade. �Mark needs Bailey.
Bailey needs Mark��
Although
I�m gone,
Remember
me,
Please
be strong, I�ll never leave,
Just
hold on,
To
the memories,
While
I�m here,
All
I�m thinking about is
Tomorrow.
�Michael!� Sidney screamed. �Don�t leave me!� She screamed again. �Michael!�
�Mommy!�
Bailey yelled shaking Sidney out of her dream. �Wake up, mommy.� Sidney
slowly opened her eyes, seeing the tiny blonde bundle of energy before her.
�Mommy, I want to go home.�
�Bai,
we are��
�No,
I want to go home!� Bailey yelled jumping next to Sidney, getting under the
covers with her. Sidney wrapped her arms around him, brushing his hair from his
face. �Bailey, do you want to go back to Sligo��
�I
want to see Mark.� Bailey said sitting up, looking at his mummy. �I miss
him.�
�So
do I.� Sidney said squeezing her son. They two laid in bed for another hour or
so, talking about his dreams, talking about Sidney�s dreams and how best to
surprise Mark when they went back to Sligo. The two laughed and giggled in their
silliness, Sidney seeing Michael�s smile on his lips. The smile that she got
to kiss one last time. But now looking forward to kissing the man who had her
future.