Chapter
Thirty-Three
The
doctor ran the transducer around Andrea�s belly pointing to the tiny creature
on the screen. The sounds of the heartbeat, the swishing of the fluid and
excitement filled the room, Shane sitting in his wheelchair watching in awe of
his child before him.
�The
baby is growing just fine.� The doctor said wiping the gel off of Andrea�s
belly.
�Thank
heavens.� Andrea softly said.
�Do
you want to know the sex of the baby?� The doctor asked.
�No,
we want to be surprised.� Andrea said quickly, Shane secretly thanking God for
his daughter that was perfect.
�Okay,
go ahead and get dressed and then we will make your next appointment.� The
doctor said leaving the two in the room. Andrea got herself off the table, Shane
quietly watching her.
�Are
you okay, honey? Are you in any pain? We need to get you to your room, you look
tired.� Andrea said putting her shoes on.
�What
kind of father am I going to be?� Shane asked turning his wheelchair towards
Andrea.
�The
best father, Shane. Our baby is going to be so loved and ��
�But
is that enough?� Shane asked staring into her brown eyes. �Look at me!�
Shane yelled hitting the wheels of his chair.�
�I won�t be able to play with the baby or run with it��
�Shane,
the most important thing for you to do is love our baby.� Andrea leaned down
to him, kissing his forehead.
�And
what about you? Is loving you enough?� Shane took her hand, holding it in his.
�Yes.�
Andrea brushed back his hair, smiling.
�Andrea,
you need a man who can fulfill your�needs. Not a man in a wheelchair. God, I
can�t even hold you like I use to. I can�t lie next to you or��
�Shane.�
Andrea softly spoke tears running down her face. �I love you. And for weeks I
didn�t know if I was going to get the chance to tell you that again. I don�t
care about sex. I love you and our baby.� Andrea slowly sat on Shane�s lap,
trying not to put her full weight on his legs. �Put your arms around me.�
Shane did so and pulled her closer to him. �This is how you use to hold me, it
is no different.� Andrea said placing her head on his shoulder.
�You
deserve more then��
�Don�t
say that, Shane. Please, never feel inadequate. I almost lost you.� Andrea
looked into his eyes, seeing the love for her. She sweetly kissed his mouth,
brushing her tongue on his lips, parting his mouth. She ran her hand down his
chest, the two getting lost in the kiss. �Shane, you still turn me on and we
will find a way to have sex.� Andrea smiled kissing him again.
�The
experimenting will be half the fun.� Shane said laughing. �I love you,
Andrea.�
�Say
that again.� Andrea whispered.
�I
love you.� Shane said brushing her hair back.
�That�s
all I need.� Andrea kissed his cheek and remained in his arms. She would stand
by Shane, support him in therapy and love him no matter what, as long as she
could hear him say the words, the words she thought should never hear again.
�
�
Alex
carried in the heavy box, trying to dodge the other boxes on the floor finally
finding an empty space in the kitchen. She slowly placed the box on the floor
and then stretched her back. The last two months had been stressful, getting
moved in a new house, supporting Shane at therapy and then the phone calls from
Sidney. Alex opened the box to find her numerous pictures of her family, dance
friends and vacations. They had been safely tucked away since her moved to Sligo.
Alex had been living out of boxes and to finally have her own home, with Bryan.
There was no question when they decided to move in together, they were at each
other homes anyways, so financially it was logical but they also couldn�t bear
to be without each other. They found the perfect house and began their life
together.
�Where
does this chair go, babe?� Bryan asked Mark directly behind holding a box.
�In
the bedroom.� Alex said not looking up from her box.
�Our
bedroom?� Bryan said with a smile.
�Yes,
Mr. McFadden, our bedroom.� Alex said winking at him. Bryan walked down the
hall, a smile on his face.
�How
about his one.� Mark asked a serious look on his face.
�Just
find an empty spot anywhere.� Alex said seeing the loneliness and pain in his
eyes. Mark looked around the room and finally found a spot.
�Would
you like something to drink?� Alex asked walking over to the cupboard.
�No
thanks.� Mark said softly. �I�ll go see if Kian needs help.� Mark gave
her a small smile and walked out of the kitchen. �Such a beautiful man, such a
sad look.� Alex said to herself.
�
�
***Flashback***
�Are
you sure about this, Sidney?� Bryan asked sitting down at the table.
�Yes.
I just have to leave. I can�t stay here, Bailey needs�� Sidney stopped
looking away from Bryan.
�Sidney,
I know that you would only do what is right.� Bryan said putting his hand on
Sidney�s. �I know that this must be hard for you.�
�Bryan,
things just got carried away. Things just happened that shouldn�t have.�
Sidney squeezed his hand; the comfort was what she needed at that moment. She
didn�t need judgment; she knew she would get that from Kian and Shane.
�Have
you told Mark and the others?� Alex asked pouring the tea.
�Not
yet, I guess I wanted some support first.� Sidney said trying to smile.
�Well,
I don�t like the idea of you leaving, not with Shane just now starting therapy
but I know you, Sid. You don�t do things unless there is a reason.� Bryan
softly put his arm around Sidney. �We will understand in time.�
�And
we will try to help Mark through it.� Alex said. �God, Sidney, I am going to
miss you.�
�I
know.� Sidney said embracing Alex. �You have been such a great friend to me.
And you have made Bryan happy.� Sidney said smiling at Bryan. �I owe you for
that one.� Bryan and Sidney planned her move, the selling of her house and how
to tell the others. Bryan and Alex were the friends that Sidney needed, now to
gain the strength for the others.
�
�
�I�m
thirsty, Alex.� Taylor said, her smile big.
�Well,
let�s see what we have here.� Alex said taking her tiny hands and walking to
the refrigerator.
�I
wish Bailey was here.� Taylor said her mouth stained from the juice she had
consumed earlier. �I have no one to play with.�
�I
know honey.� Alex said stroking her jet-black hair, her blue eyes so innocent.
�I
miss him.� Taylor cried, Alex taking her in her arms.
�Bryan
wants to know�� Kian said coming into the kitchen. �Taylor, what�s
wrong?� Taylor didn�t say a word but ran to Kian who picked her up and
cradled her in his arms. �Why the tears, princess.� Taylor buried her head
in his chest and softly sobbed.
�She
is missing Bailey.� Alex said brushing Taylor�s hand.
�Did
Sidney think we weren�t going to be affected by her leaving?� Kian said with
anger in his eyes.
�
�
***Flashback***
�This
is not good timing, Sid.� Shane said sitting in his bed. Andrea stood holding
his hand, Kian and Emily stood to the side of the bed, stunned in the news.
�I
know but I have��
�Andrea
needs you here.� Shane said quickly.
�Shane,
I know that. I know this is hard to understand but I am going back to San Diego
and staying with my folks.� Sidney didn�t look at Kian, she couldn�t.
�You
need to work it out with Mark��
�I
need to go.� Sidney said interrupting Andrea.
�Tell
us why?� Emily said holding Kian�s hand who still remained quiet. Sidney
looked at Emily; she didn�t know how to tell her. She was the worst mother and
the only way to redeem herself was to get Bailey away. She tried to find the
words but nothing came.
�You
owe us an explanation.� Kian said looking coldly at Sidney.
�Something
happened that I need to get Bailey away from. I doing this for Bailey��
�The
hell you are!�Kian yelled, Emily squeezing his hand and giving him a look.
�Am I the only one who has the balls to say it? Sidney you are being selfish.
You are leaving because you can�t handle the fact that you wanted Nicky! You
wanted Nicky but he has a girlfriend!�
�Kian,
that isn�t it.� Sidney said shocked that he would even say that.
�Yes
it is!� Kian yelled. �And you just think that you can just leave. Shane
needs you here! Andrea needs you here!�
�Kian,
please�you don�t understand. I have to�� Sidney stopped; she could not
longer take any more. She looked at everyone, the tears running down her face.
�I am sorry.� She softly said and walked out of the hospital room leaving
everyone with the unanswered questions.
�
�
Mark
and Bryan carried the last piece of furniture from the truck and set it down on
the grass. The two took one last breather before finishing the job.
�Sid
called last night.� Bryan said wiping his brow. Mark didn�t saw a word but
stared down at the ground. �She is staying at her parents.� Bryan added.
Mark again, remained quiet. �Jesus, Mark! What is wrong with you? Don�t you
care?�
�It
doesn�t matter.� Mark finally said.
�Why?�
�It
won�t bring her back.� Mark looked at Bryan trying to fight the tears.
�
�
***Flashback***
�I
just need to leave.� Sidney said walking out of Mark�s living room.
�You
can�t.� Mark said pleading, grabbing her arm.
�Don�t
do this, Mark.� Sidney said not turning around to face him; she could not see
his eyes.
�Sidney,
why? I love you��
�I
just have to.� Sidney jerked away from his arm and opened the door. The
sunlight pierced her eyes in trying to hold back the tears.
�Damn
it! Don�t do this!� Mark said standing in the doorway, Sidney stood close to
her car. She never looked back; she simply got in her car and drove away. Mark
stood on the front porch stunned, watching her car in the distance. He tried to
explain why he hit Nicky; he tried to apologize about the whole nightmare. He
wanted to talk to Bailey, to make him understand how wrong he was in what he
did. The blue eyes of Bailey and the words still haunting him. But Sidney never
gave him a chance.
Sidney
drove home in silence, the tears seized. Bailey had cried out for his father,
his eyes ripping Sidney�s heart. How could she let her own personal desires
get in the way of her child? Guilt filled her soul, guilt of not thinking of
Bailey first. He saw the fight, he heard the words spoken, and Bailey saw the
two men that he saw as potential fathers go at each other. How could a mother
not take her child away from the pain? Her feelings, her desires, her heart
would have to be put last. Bailey would not cry again, if she had anything to do
with it.
�
�
�God,
Mark, you hit Nicky?� Bryan asked in disbelief.
�I
was afraid of losing Sidney and now look.� Mark hit the chair with his fist.
�Shit, Bryan! I am so lost without her.� Mark finally said. �I miss Bailey
so much and I can�t imagine not playing with him.� Mark looked down, a tear
falling down his cheek,
�You
have to go after her.� Bryan said. �If it was Alex��
�She
won�t return my calls and I�ve talked to her parents. They won�t tell me
anything.� I just don�t��
�Go
to her.� Bryan said sternly. �Screw the phone, get your ass on a plane and
got to her. You made a mistake but Sidney loves you��
�Does
she?� Mark asked interrupting Bryan. �She left, not me.� Mark turned
around, his back to Bryan. �She walked away��
�You
can�t leave it like this.� Bryan said stopping Mark.
�It�s
not for me to decide.� Mark walked into the house, his heart breaking.
�Mark,
can you get that?� Alex yelled about the phone ringing. Mark followed the cord
to the phone and picked up the receiver.
�Hello?�
Mark asked the caller silent. �Hello?� Mark asked again, still no sound.
�Damn it, wrong num��
�Mark.�
Said the voice, Mark�s heart being torn open again.