Chapter 32
Sidney cleared the dinner table; Mark and Nicky were in the living room with
Bailey. Andrea stood at the sink, washing the dishes her head was pounding and
her stomach turning.
"God, when does this morning sickness stop? It is freakin night." Andrea said wiping her forehead. Sidney gave out a slight laugh shaking her head. "Why were you so quiet at dinner?"
"No reason." Sidney said taking the towel from Andrea's shoulder and began drying the dishes.
"Sidney Kavanaugh is never quiet. Say what's on your mind." Andrea stood next to Sidney, waiting for the doom to hit. She felt the tension between her and Sidney when Nicky would sweetly pat Andrea's hand or when Nicky would share a conversation between him and Andrea. Mark felt the tension, trying to change the subject and giving Sidney the look.
"Nicky seems happy in Manchester." Sidney finally said.
"Yes he does." Andrea naturally responded.
"He told me he didn't have a girlfriend." Sidney put the pots in the cupboard.
"Did he?" Andrea continued washing the dishes, not looking at her friend.
"I read in some magazine about Nicky that he had a girlfriend, they even named her." Sidney looked at Andrea. "Caz."
"You know how the magazines are, if Nicky said he didn't have a girlfriend..."
"Why is he here? To see Shane? To torment me? To take you? I was just starting to be happy." Sidney threw the towel on the counter and walked outside. She slammed the door behind her and sat down on Bailey's swing. She slowly moved the seat back and forth, her feet digging in the dirt. She closed her eyes, trying to push away the feelings, the hurt. A cool breeze went through her, making her goose bumps visual. She wrapped her arms around her chest and looked up at the sky. So many nights she would sit outside with Michael, count the stars, make wishes on the fallen ones and find themselves making love in the cool grass. She softly stroked her arms, thinking of how Michael would hold her, how he would brush her hair back and kiss her lips. They were so free with each other, so secure. Sidney never felt alone, even when Michael was on a trip. She always felt his presence, always felt his love. She wanted that back; she wanted to feel loved again. She knew Mark loved her, he told her but Nicky told her also and left. She put her head down, swinging her legs in the breeze. Her eyes closed, trying to find some peace in her life.
"Sidney." Nicky softly said standing before her. Sidney slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head up to see Nicky. "I wanted to talk to..."
"Why are you here?" Sidney asked interrupting him.
"To see Shane." Nicky said quickly, almost rehearsed.
"Is that the only reason?" Sidney stopped swinging and waited for the answer.
"I would be lying if I said "yes"." Nicky put his hands on the rope of the swing and looked down at her. His heart wanted to speak, his lips longed to kiss her and the thought of taking her away had to be pushed aside.
"I read that you were dating Caz." Sidney said looking up at him.
"I...yes I am." Nicky said stepping back.
"You lied to me." Sidney said standing up. "Why?"
"Sidney, I came to see...Caz wanted me to work out my feelings..." Nicky looked away suddenly lost for words. The words that he had rehearsed on the trip to Sligo. "I still love you. I want..."
"You want? You have no right coming her and telling me what you want. You left." Sidney pushed him aside and walked toward the porch.
"You told me to go." Nicky said hurt. "You told me it was a chance of a lifetime. You told...
"If you loved me.." Sidney stopped turning around to face him. "No, you're right. That wasn't fair. I told you to go."
"But I am here now. We can make this work." Nicky moved closer to her. " I have missed you so much, Sid." Nicky began tracing her cheek. He slightly moved his hand down her neck, pulling her closer, into his body.
"Nicky, I can't do this..." Nicky firmly placed his lips on Sidney's lips, pulling her hard against his body, wrapping his arms around her. Sidney tried pulling away, she didn't need his lips. Nicky held her tight, his whole being into the kiss.
"What the hell?" Mark said standing behind Nicky. Sidney finally pulled away, wiping her lips.
"Mark, I want..."
"I don't give a fuck what you want. Stay away from Sidney." Mark said getting into Nicky's face.
"I still love her." Nicky said in his defense. Sidney moved to the side. She had never seen so much hatred in Mark's eyes before.
"Mark, it's fine." Sidney said touching Mark's arm.
"No, it's not!" Mark pulled his arm from Sidney. "You left!"
"Don't me what I can't do." Nicky yelled. "If Sidney wants to be with me, then you can't stop her."
"Yes I can! I waited to long for her. I stood by so many times but not this time!" Mark shoved Nicky back.
"Fuck you! Sidney is her own person and I know she still loves me." Nicky pushed Mark back, harder.
"Stop it!" Sidney yelled. Mark lunged after Nicky, hitting his face with a full force of his fist.
"You asshole!" Nicky screamed grabbing his cheek. Nicky took a step forward, his arm raised coming down hard in Mark's stomach. He doubled over in pain.
"I said, stop it!" Sidney yelled again, tears streaming down her face. She stopped between them as Mark came behind her pushing her into Nicky. Nicky caught her but then pushed her to the side. Mark made on last effort at Nicky, not realizing that Sidney had stepped in front again. Both Nicky and Mark shoved at each other causing Sidney to be pushed to the side, hitting the dirt floor hard. The two continued their scuffle, ignoring Sidney's fall.
"Stop it!" Bailey yelled standing on the porch. Mark and Nicky stopped, staring at each other. Bailey saw his mommy and ran to her.
"You hurt my mommy!" Bailey screamed, grabbing onto Sidney.
"I'm fine, honey." Sidney said stroking his hair.
"Bailey, I'm sorry..." Mark said taking a step forward.
"No, stay away form my mommy." Bailey shouted. "You are bad! You hurt my mommy!"
"Bailey..."
"And you are bad also." Bailey said pointing to Nicky. Just at that moment, a loud crash was heard inside. Sidney picked up Bailey and ran inside. Andrea stood in the kitchen, a plate shattered on the floor in pieces. "Shane...he's..."Andrea stopped staring at Sidney. "Bryan just called..."
"What is it?" Nicky asked standing behind Sidney.
"He's awake." Andrea said a smile slowly crossing her lips.
"Nicky, could you please take Andrea to the hospital?" Sidney said smiling at Andrea. Nicky slowly stepped pass Sidney, took Andrea's hand and let her outside.
"Sidney..."
"Mark, I need you to leave. I am going to take Bailey to the Kavanaughs and then I'll be at the hospital." Sidney walked towards the hallway, still holding Bailey.
"I can drive you..."
"I can't be with you night now." Sidney said, her back still towards Mark.
"So Nicky won." Mark said his head down.
"No one won, Mark." Sidney said finally turning around to face him. "Can't you see that? No one." She slowly rubbed Bailey's back and turned away from Mark. She heard the door slam, her heart sinking in the sound. Bailey softly wept on Sidney's shoulders, a tear running down her face. Sidney just wanted Michael; she wanted things the way they use to be. She wanted to feel the intense burn of love. Deep down she knew she had that love with Mark but seeing him act with Nicky that had changed. It had all changed.