Chapter 16

Sidney carefully wrapped the plates and glasses in the towels as she put them
in the box. Nicky was busy trying to decide what furniture to take and what
personals to send to his parents in Dublin. Bailey jumped around the house
following Nicky from room to room asking about the different players on the
team. Sidney wrote "dishes" on the box and began sealing it for the move. She
could hear the questions and laughter between Nicky and Bailey as she stopped
to catch her breath. Her heart was breaking as she thought about life without
Nicky. He was taken away from her so quickly, just like Michael.
"Mommy, look what Nicky gave me." Bailey said running into the kitchen with
Nicky not far behind him. He held up the torn brown teddy bear that belonged
to Nicky when he was Baileys' age. Bailey held the teddy bear in his arms
with the biggest smile on his face.
"That is really nice of Nicky to let you have his bear. You better take good
care of it for him." Sidney scooped up Bailey in her arms.
"How are we doing in here?" Nicky asked kissing her cheek. He quickly scanned
the room looking at the clutter not knowing how he accumulated so much stuff.
"I think I am almost done in here." Sidney said smiling.
"What are you going to keep here?" Bailey asked.
"I have to take everything with me. I don't know where it will all go." Nicky
patted Bailey's arm.
"But when you come home, you won't have anything." Bailey said confused.
"Honey, Nicky's new home is in London." Sidney said stroking his cheek.
Bailey looked at his Mommy and then at Nicky.
"No!" Bailey screamed as he threw his arms up in the air. "Nicky can't
leave!" Bailey screamed and jumped out of Sidney's arms. He stood staring at
Sidney.
"Bailey, Nicky has a new job, in London." Sidney kneeled down to him and took
his hand.
"I don't care!" Bailey screamed again as tears began to flow down his face.
"Honey, we have to be happy for Nicky. He needs to do this." Sidney held
Bailey as he cried. Nicky stood behind them; Bailey's cries went through his
soul. He wished that he could help Bailey but the only way would be for him
to stay. Bailey pulled himself from his Mommy and looked at Nicky.
"I hate you! You are just like my daddy. He left me and now you!" Bailey hit
Nicky and then ran out of the room. Sidney stood up and wiped her tears.
"I can't do this, Nicky." Sidney said not facing Nicky.
"Tell me to stay and I will." Nicky gently touched her hand and turned her
around to face him.
"I can't tell you that. I want to but I can't." Sidney looked away from his
blue eyes.
"Then come with me. You and Bailey." Nicky pulled her chin to face him. "Come
with me to London. My flat is big enough for all of us and then we can have
the big happy family I promised." Nicky's heart went out to her. He wanted
Sidney with him, God, he loved her so much. He loved Bailey just as much.
Sidney stood looking at him, not sure what to say. She wanted to go with him.
She wanted to be happy with him. She knew that Bailey wanted to be with him.
"Say yes, Sidney. Say yes and I will move you and Bailey to London. I can
afford to take care of you both. You won't have to work and I will make sure
that Bailey goes to the best school in London." Nicky said trying to sell
Sidney on the idea. But Sidney stood silent, as the words would not come. "Do
you love me?" Nicky asked as he pulled her closer.
"Yes Nicky. �I love you." Sidney said softly.
"But it's not enough." Nicky said releasing her.
"I can't just uproot Bailey. He has family here and the guys. He is just now
getting settled here and finally happy." Sidney said finally as the words
still didn't seem enough.
"I can understand that, Sidney. But what about you?" Nicky took her hand and
held it to his chest. "Your happiness is important also."
"I can't leave, Nicky." Sidney said slowly. "I can't go with you."
"Then I will stay." Nicky said quickly.
"No, you can't. Nik, you have to go. I could never live with the fact that
you passed up on your dream because of me." Sidney looked into his blue eyes
as she spoke.
"Then I will come back when ..."
"Nicky, when you leave in a few days..."
"It's over." Nicky said quickly as he turned away from her.
"I can't have a long distant relationship with you. If I can't have you all
the time, then I don't want..." Sidney stopped as she grabbed his arm. "You
will be on the road. You won't have time..."
"I will never stop thinking about you, Sid. I will never stop loving you."
Nicky moved closer to Sidney as he reached out to her.
"I just wish things could be different." Sidney stood in his embrace as she
laid her head on his shoulder.
"I know you do, so do I." Nicky continued holding Sidney, again never waiting
to let go.
"Mommy." Bailey said as he came into the kitchen.
"Yes, honey." Sidney gently pulled away from Nicky walking over to Bailey.
"I don't hate Nicky, I just don't want him to go." Bailey reached out his
arms to Sidney as she picked him up.
"I know you don't, Bai. I am going to miss you so much." Nicky wrapped his
arms around Sidney and Bailey. The three stood, knowing that time was running
out; running out and getting closer to saying good-bye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kian sat patiently as he waited for Emily to speak. He knew that he couldn't
push her but he had to know about her past. Her pain and not knowing what
happened was affecting his life. He had gotten in a fight with his best
friends and pushed Mark. The only time that the three got in a fight was when
they were in secondary school and it was over a girl. It was Michael who
soothed it over between the three. Kian missed Michael even more. Michael
would know what to do about Emily. Kian needed Michael's wisdom. Then the
words of Michael's leukemia rushed through Kian's mind. He had forgotten that
Shane didn't know. When Michael did finally tell Kian about his condition,
Kian persuaded Michael to tell Shane and to tell Sidney when he got home.
Michael died the next day.
"Kian, I just don't know if I can tell you." Emily finally said breaking the
silence.
"What can I do to prove to you that I won't judge you? I love you. Why isn't
that enough?" Kian took her hand and held it in his lap.
"Because I have heard it before." Emily said looking away.
"But you haven't heard it from me, until now. I am different and you have to
believe that." Kian said squeezing her hand. "I know about Taylor and I am
still here."
Emily wanted the words to come, she wanted to tell Kian everything and then
to have him say, I love you. She knew he was different but the words would
not come. Tears began to fall down her cheek as Kian softly, one-be-one,
wiped them away.
"Kian, Taylor's father..." Emily stopped as her lower lip began to quiver.
"His name is David Stellar. We dated for four years while in high school and
college." Kian put his arm around Emily as he pulled her closer. Emily laid
her head on his shoulder, Kian continued stroking her hand.
"Does he know about Taylor?" Kian asked brushing her hair out of her eyes.
"Yes but he has never seen her." Emily said. She was gaining comfort in Kian
as she spoke.
"Your choice or his?" Kian asked. "I would want contact with my daughter."
"It is my choice and the ..." Emily once again broke down in tears as she
could no longer speak. Kian pulled her into him and softly rocked her.
"Why?" Emily finally screamed in-between sobs. "Why did he have to do that?"
"Honey, he won't hurt you again. I promise." It was all Kian could say. He
couldn't push anymore. He could do nothing but hold her. He would protect
her, protect her at any cost. She never told Kian everything about David but
for the first time, she felt safe. She just wanted to stay in the emotion as
long as she could.

Chapter 17

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