Get your own Free Home Page
The August night air gently blew Claudia's blonde hair
while she stood in
the surf in front of her house. She'd come to love this place. She stared
into the sunset, watching the day come to a close. She would be leaving for
Cambridge tomorrow and saying good-bye to the place she called home for three
months. Claudia began thinking about her summer when the sound of Bryan and
Anna softly laughing in the distance distracted her. They were the lucky
ones, they were in love, they'd fallen in love and committed to one another.
She envied Anna when she heard them whispering their love to one another.
Kori and Kian sat on the porch talking about their musical future, avoiding
the real issue of their unspoken love. Trying so desperately to hide the true
emotions and hoping that tomorrow would not bring out the honesty that they
ignored.
Claudia stood in the pathway between her
cabin and the boys', she
didn't want to go to her room and be alone. She knew if she did, she would
think about Mark and what she hadn't said to him. She hesitated on the path,
staring at the light that was flickering in the living room of the lads'
cabin. She slowly took a step forward and made her way up to their porch. She
took the steps that she had taken so many times that summer, with Mark,
holding his hand and lingering in his kisses at the door. She stood silent as
she looked through the screen door. Her breath was taken away by what she
saw. She watched the one she'd wanted from afar all summer laying on the
couch, humming to the music being pumped into his ears from his headphones.
He was only wearing his shorts, still unused to the humid Florida weather.
His skin glistened with sweat in the balmy August night. His eyes were closed
and Claudia wondered what he was thinking, how she wished she could be the
one on his mind. Slowly Shane opened his eyes and turned his head to look at
Claudia. She smiled at him as she entered the cabin.
"I....sorry to disturb you." She
said softly, still standing in the
doorway.
"You could never disturb me."
Shane said, bestowing his million dollar
grin on her. She was wearing the white sun dress that Shane loved. He loved
how it brought out her tan and deep green eyes and how when the light hit it
perfectly, he could see the silhouette of her body. Even with the bruises
that were still fresh on her face and limbs, she was the picture of
perfection. "I was just relaxing."
"I thought I would come over and say
goodbye. I didn't know what time
you were leaving tomorrow." She knew she was lying, but it was the only
reason she could surmise. After three months, he still rendered her
speechless.
"Would you like something to
drink?" Shane stood up.
"That would be really nice, I'm still
not used to the heat. I'll be
glad to get back to Massachusetts." She pulled up the back of her hair and
began fanning her neck. She had no idea what her casual gestures did to
him.
Shane quickly left the room, for fear of totally losing control. Claudia had
made herself comfortable when Shane returned with two glasses of wine. He
handed her a glass and sat down beside her.
"How are you feeling?" Shane
placed his hand on hers.
"I'm still a little sore...but feeling
better. Your eye is is finally
starting to look normal again." She brushed back his hair. He was still
gorgeous, the black eye enhancing his beauty to her, knowing he'd taken it
for her.
"I just hope it fades before my mum
sees it...she'd be furious with me
if she knew I was in a fight." He explained.
"I really want to thank you for saving
me that night at the club... I
don't remember much, but I know that it was you who carried me out."
Claudia
squeezed his hand. "And thank you for staying at the hospital with me. You
didn't have to."
"I know I didn't have to but I wanted
to." Shane turned her hand over
and traced her palm with his fingers. Did he not know what he did to
her by
touching her like that? She tried to change the subject.
"Looking forward to getting back into the studio?"
Claudia leaned back on
the couch. She stretched her feet out on the table before her.
"Yes, I love recording." Shane
moved closer to her. He set his wine
glass on the table and placed his arm on the couch ledge behind Claudia's
neck.
"I'm looking forward to getting back to
the lab. I miss my chimps."
Claudia realized how silly that sounded.
"Lucky chimps." Shane said
smiling. "I mean, to be missed by you and to
be the objects of your affection."
"Well, you know, they're very special
chimps...Not ordinary...they're
very..." Claudia began to get lost in his eyes."..smart. I mean, I
have
showed..." Claudia stopped speaking and quickly looked away.
"I'm sorry, Claud, did I say
something?"
"No, I was just..." Claudia
avoided his glance, afraid what she might
find in his eyes.
"Claudia, I need to ask you
something." Shane said. "Please look at
me." Shane placed his hand on hers and she slowly looked at him.
"What is it?" Honoring his
request, she looked right into his eyes.
That was her first mistake.
"When we first met, I know that I was
rude to you..."
"Shane, that's old news. I understood
the reasoning." Claudia squeezed
his hand, falling under his spell. She couldn't hold it in any longer.
"I know, but this summer, I've gotten
to know you and I just wanted you
to know..." Shane's words were halted by Claudia's lips. She couldn't
resist,
she knew what she'd come over to do. She knew this was her last chance and
she had to know if what she felt was real. Shane wrapped his arms around her
and returned her kiss. They were both descending deeper into uncharted
territory. Suddenly Claudia broke away.
"I'm sorry. I know..."
"Don't be. I've been wanting to do that
since I first met you." Shane
said, still kissing her neck.
"But was it because you thought I was
Nicola?" Claudia asked, relishing
the embrace of his touch.
"Maybe at first, but now I'm kissing
you because of you, damn it, you
are so beautiful. You're so perfect, you're just so fecking perfect...I can't
do this, but I can't make myself stop." Shane leaned in and kissed Claudia
more passionately and pushed her back on the couch.
"Shane, I know this is wrong, but God,
it feels so right." She buried
her hands in his hair. Shane returned his lips to her neck and worked his
way downwards across her shoulders. His lips were soft and with every kiss
Claudia flew further away.
"For tonight, it can be right. I have
so many feelings for you, I can't
deny them anymore.." Claudia placed her finger on his lips and she stopped
his words.
"Don't cloud the issue with words. I
want to be close to you, Shane. I
want to feel closer to you then anyone could be. Please don't turn me
away."
Shane slowly sat up and looked into her eyes, trying to discern her meaning.
He stood up and Claudia's heart sank. He was rejecting her, she knew it. She
stood up quickly and brushed past Shane. She had to leave, she had to get
away from him, she had to go NOW!.
Shane grabbed her hand and spun her around.
He pulled her close to him,
kissed her and swung her into his arms. He carried into his room and laid
her down on his bed, the sheets still smelling of his cologne. Claudia began
kissing her way down his chest, Shane caressed her ankle, running his hand up
her thigh and brushing his lips on her shoulders. Claudia massaged his
arms
and ran her hands down his back and moved Shane on top of her. Shane
looked
into her eyes and a thrill ran through him.
"I love you, Claudia...I always
have...I always will." Shane kissed her
lips before she could speak.
"I love you too, Shane" She
whispered in his ear as she returned his
kisses, and Mark was just a distant memory.
Shane gently moved out from under the
sheets, trying not to disturb the
beauty lying in his bed. The sun's first rays softly gave light in the
room
as he slipped into his shirt. He sat in the chair, listening to the quiet
music, writing in his journal as he watched Claudia sleep. He wanted to
freeze this moment, longing to keep it forever, knowing that when the sun
was completely in the sky, she would no longer be his. ---
'last night was not just right but meant to be' Shane wrote
in his journal
*...now I want you so much... the night is
long.. and I need your
touch...Don't know what to say..never meant to feel this way...don't wanna be
alone tonight...*
'---I told her I loved her last night. She
told me she loved me. But as
I watch her sleep, I know that she isn't mine. It felt so good to hold her,
to kiss her, to hold her in my arms. After much debate, we decided we
shouldn't have sex, I couldn't take advantage of her or Mark like that.
God,
why did this have to happen?'
*...What can I do to make you mine...falling
so hard...so fast this
time..what did I say...what did you do..how did I fall in love with you...*
''Why I didn't talk to her first? Why did
Mark have to be the one to be
with her the whole summer? I should feel like the summer was wasted, but last
night made up for it. I know that it was special. I know that we
could
together, should be together...forever'
*I hear your voice...and I start to
tremble...brings back the
child...that I resemble..I cannot pretend...that we can still be
friends...don't wanna be alone tonight..*
Claudia laid awake with her eyes still closed as
she listened to the
music...
*I wanna say this right...and it has to be
tonight..just need you to
know...I don't wanna live this lie..I don't wanna say good-bye...with you I
wanna spend the rest of my life...*
'I need to be with her, I am only complete
with her... tonight she made
me the man I have always wanted to be...how can I leave her...how I can live
without her...'
*What can I do to make you mine....falling
so hard...so fast this
time...everything's changed.. we never knew....How did I fall in love with
you...*
Shane put his journal down on the floor and
leaned back in his chair,
closing his eyes. The music began to fade in the background as he finally
gave way to sleep. After lying awake for an hour, Claudia made her way to
the door, looking back on Shane for the last time.
*I wanna say this right...and it has to be
tonight..just need you to
know...*
She leaned over him and kissed his forehead.
*I don' t wanna live this lie...I don't
wanna say goodbye...*
She tip-toed past Shane, not wanting to wake
him, knowing if he did she
wouldn't leave. He reached out to her, touching her hand with his, but she
couldn't stay.
*WIth you I wanna spend the rest of my
life... How did I fall in love
with you...*
Claudia wiped the tears from her eyes as she
entered her room. Her
journal was open on her desk. She read the last entry, what she wrote when
she first met Shane, the last entry she would write. There was no need to
write anymore, no need to dream anymore, no need to hope. She'd just said
goodbye to the man of her dreams and she was never going to look back.
Get your own Free Home Page