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“10 minutes until Number 6 departs for Dublin!”
Mattie looked up as the voice came over the loudspeaker. She only had ten more minutes. Mattie and her father had arrived at the McDiarmada station with the Feehilys twenty minutes earlier, and since they had got there, Mattie, Mark, and the rest of the band had been busy saying their farewells to everyone who had come to see them off. It seemed as if half the town had turned up at the train station, and it was crowded and noisy. The whole crowd was raucous and enthusiastic, and Mattie was swept up in the excitement of it all. But when she heard the announcement, her high spirits began to abate and all at once she was overcome with the familiar wave of nostalgia and homesickness that always came up whenever she had to leave home. Caitlin noticed the dejected look on her friend’s face and came over to hug her reassuringly.
“What’s with the lost puppy look?” Caitlin asked playfully. “You’re about to embark on a tour with one of the biggest musical acts in the world, you’re going to see hundreds of interesting places, meet dozens of famous people, and it’s all for free, so why do you look like you want to turn around and run home?”
Mattie managaed a weak smile. “I’m just going to be a little homesick. It seems like I just got back from University and now I’m off again.”
“You did just get back Mattie. Besides, it’s only for a couple of weeks, and you’ll be back before you know it. In fact, you’ll probably be begging the boys to let you stay instead of coming back to dreary old Sligo. Your grandmother is right Mattie, you really need to get out more. To think you’ve spent all this time away at University and you still get this way whenever you leave. Now why do I feel like a mother who’s trying to convince her child to go to sleepaway camp?”
Mattie sighed. “You’re right, as always Cait.” She smiled nostalgically as she watched Shane say goodbye to his family. His mum was sobbing, as she always did whenever he went away, and she could see that Shane was struggling to keep the tears in as well. He would give in eventually. Shane could never watch his mum cry without breaking down himself. Mattie placed a hand over her heart in a sympathetic gesture. “Poor Mrs. Filan.”
Caitlin turned around to look. “Poor Mrs. Filan? You mean poor Shane. In a moment the lad will be blubbering his eyes out in front of everyone, and won’t that be a pretty picture for the press.” Caitlin smiled. “But I do feel for her. After all, he is her baby boy.” Caitlin trailed off when she noticed Mark and Bryan coming towards them. “Well now boys, are you all set to go?” she asked them.
Mark smiled. “Nearly. Are you going to miss us?”
Caitlin squinched up her face in thought. “Maybe. Well, I’ll miss being able to be seen out on the town with big popstars anyway.”
Mark laughed. “Come here girl,” he said, drawing Caitlin in for a warm, friendly hug.
“Awww,” she said, fidgeting in mock shyness. She looked up at Bryan. “I’ll miss you too, Bubblebutt,” she said to Bryan, grinning up at him mischievously.
Bryan laughed also. “Well, you know how much I’m gonna miss you Caitie.”
Caitlin made a face. “Blech. How many times do I have to tell you?!”
“Who cares? You owe me. You tricked me into going to that dumb museum. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been so bored.”
“Dumb museum?” Caitlin said indignantly. “I’ll have you know that Yeats was one of the most -”
Bryan held up his hand to silence her. “Hey, after visiting that dinky little place, I’ll bet there isn’t anything that I don’t know about Yeats. I even know where his outhouse was located for chrissake.”
Caitlin gave him a withering look. “You know, maybe we should get out of here before Mattie jumps on you for desecrating the memory of Ireland’s most beloved literary figure.”
“Jumps on me, eh?” Bryan replied, wiggling his eyebrows at Mattie suggestively. “I don’t know if I’m so opposed to the idea.”
Caitlin groaned. “Alright, that’s it Hormone Boy. I’m getting you out of here before you end up defiling our entire town with your dirty mind.” With that comment, Caitlin grabbed Bryan’s arm and dragged him away, with Bryan looking back and making kissy faces at Mattie as Caitlin yanked him along. Mark and Mattie both laughed at the comical scene.
“Those two are a crazy pair, aren’t they?” Mark said grinning.
Mattie smiled. “They certainly are.”
Mark turned to Mattie. “Well, it’s almost time to leave. You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Mattie and Mark stood silently for a moment, surveying the crowd gathered at the station. “You know, this reminds me of the first time you went away with the group.”
“You mean on the Boyzone tour?”
“Yes. I don’t think I could ever forget that day. We were so young, weren’t we? So full of dreams and hopes and fears. I don’t think either of us had a very clear idea of what was going on.”
Mark nodded slowly, smiling. “And we didn’t have any idea it would ever come to this, either.”
Mattie looked up at Mark. “I knew.”
“What?”
“I knew. I always did. I always knew that the group would make it this big, and that every one of your dreams would come true. I always had faith in you.”
Mark reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. “I know you did.”
They were both silent again, both thinking about that day that seemed so long ago at that very same station, the day that Mark had first left Sligo, and the day that both their lives had really changed…
October 1998
“Mattie?”
She turned around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey, Kian!” Mattie gave him a hug. “Well it’s almost time, isn’t it? In a few minutes that train over there is going to whisk you away to Dublin to start a whole new life as a burgeoning popstar.”
“Yeah, I hope,” Kian said, crossing his fingers.
“You excited?”
“Yeah! This is going to be fantastic, I just know it. I can’t believe this is actually happening finally.”
Mattie laughed at his enthusiasm. “Well, you five have earned it. I know that Europe will adore you lads, and you’ll be rich and famous in no time at all.”
“Aw, you’re great Mattie,” Kian said, giving her another hug.
“Yeah, I am. And don’t you forget it. When you get to be a big a famous popstar, don’t you dare forget who your real friends are or you’ll be getting a beating from me, and I won’t go easy on you either.”
“Never,” Kian promised. He squeezed her hands reassuringly and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Well, I gotta go and say one last goodbye to my family before I get on the train.”
“Go ahead,” she answered as he released her hands. She watched him disappear into the crowd, and at the same time she saw Nicky and Bryan coming towards her. “Hi you two!” she greeted them brightly. Bryan came up and grabbed her up off the ground in a huge hug. Mattie laughed. “I’m going to miss you too Bryan.” He put her down carefully and she stepped back a grasped a hand from each boy. “I just want to say,” she began seriously, “that I am so glad I had the chance to meet you two, and I’ve had such a great time getting to know you both. I know how hard it’s been, having to come out to live here and to replace the others lads on top of it, but you’ve handled it beautifully, and I couldn’t think of two people I’d like more to be in the band, or who deserve it more.”
Bryan sniffed audibly. “That was…so beautiful…excuse me,” he said, stepping away from Mattie and Nicky. He took a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose noisily. Mattie rolled her eyes and laughed. Nicky laughed too.
“Don’t mind him,” Nicky instructed her. He took her hands. “Thanks so much Mattie. You know your support means a lot to the whole band, but it’s particularly special for me and Bryan. You were one of the first friends we made here, and we both really appreciate everything you’ve done for us. You’re the greatest.” Mattie blushed as he hugged her. “Well, we should be going now, the train’s about to leave. We’ll see you later, alright?”
Mattie nodded. But she grabbed his sleeve. “Wait, did you say the train was about to leave?”
Nicky nodded and glanced at his watch. “In about two minutes.”
“Two minutes!” Mattie exclaimed, astonished.
“Yeah…is something wrong?” he asked curiously.
“No – it’s just – have you seen Mark anywhere?”
Nicky shook his head. “I saw him a while back, but I don’t know where he is now. Well, we really gotta run now, so bye Mat.” He leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Bryan also came over and did the same.
“Bye, Mattie, we’ll miss you!”
Mattie smiled faintly and raised her hand in farewell. She thought she may have uttered ‘goodluck’ as they disappeared into the crowd, but at that moment she wasn’t sure. She was too busy scanning the crowd on the train platform. Her eyes darted back and forth anxiously as she fought her way through the crowd. Mattie’s head jerked up in panic when she realized that the train’s engines had just started up. “Please God – ,” she choked out. Please don’t let him leave without saying goodbye, she thought desperately. Suddenly, she saw him, his tall frame allowing her to spot his head above the crowd. He was looking around frantically. Mattie’s shoulders dropped with relief. He was looking for her too, she knew. Then, he caught sight of her also. A smile lit his face as he pushed through the crowd, making his way towards her as fast as he could. For a moment, Mattie stood rooted to the ground, unable to move. Then all at once, she started to run. When she reached him, she didn’t stop. Instead, she flung herself into his arms and, to her surprise as much as his, began to sob into his chest.
“I thought – I thought you might leave without - ,” she stopped, unable to articulate her words. Mark’s own eyes filled with tears as he pulled her shaking body closer to his.
“Please, don’t cry Mattie,” he whispered into her hair. Mark held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. She felt so delicate and fragile as she cried in his arms. This was the first time he had ever seen her cry this way. Always, she had been the strong, stoic one, never letting anything bad affect her in a negative way while he had always been the the more uncertain and cautious one, forever worrying about everything. She had never let him see this side of her before, and while it broke his heart, it made him feel good that for just this once, he would be the one to give her reassurance, and he would be the one to give her strength, as he murmured comforting words to her. As Mark spoke softly into her hair, Mattie’s sobs began to subside. All she could hear was the soothing sound of his voice, telling her that everything would be alright, telling her not to cry.
Finally Mattie stepped away from him. Silently, she cursed herself for her weakness. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
Mark touched her face tenderly. “Sorry?”
“I’m acting like an idiot.” Mattie looked down and quickly wiped away the remainder of her tears. “Just look at me. I’m in a state, aren’t I? People must be staring.”
“They don’t matter,” Mark said gently, lifting her chin so that she would look him in the eye before reaching down and grasping both of her hands in his. He brought one of her hands up to his lips and kissed it softly. “Don’t you know that I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye?”
“I know you wouldn’t…I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just so scared.” Mattie bit her lip and fought desperately to keep back the fresh wave of tears that threatened to fall. Suddenly, the train’s horn blew, startling them both. Mattie looked up at the roaring vehicle on the tracks. “It’s time, Mark. You’re going to miss the train.” She gave him a brave smile.
Mark just stood there, staring at her.
“What am I going to do without that smile every day?” he asked in a soft voice. “What am I going to do without you?” Suddenly, he pulled her close again in a crushing embrace. “I’ll call you every day, I promise. Everything will be the same, you’ll see. I swear to you, nothing is going to change.”
Mattie buried her face in his chest one more time, letting the tears trickle silently down her cheeks. This time she was careful not to make any noise. She knew that if she did, he wouldn’t be able to handle it, and that he would break down himself. Mattie didn’t cry often in front of Mark, and she knew that for him to see her cry was like a child seeing his mother cry; it made him feel a bit scared and helpless. “Will you remember me?” she managed to choke out.
Mark pulled back to stare at her in disbelief. “Remember you?” He reached up and cupped her face in both of his hands, smiling humorously. “Are you kidding me? You must be crazy.”
Mattie cast down her eyes. “Well can you blame me for worrying? Here you are about to leave as the opening act for the freakin’ Boyzone tour, you’re going to have girls throwing yourself at you every stop you make, and you probably won’t even have time to think about home, or the best friend you left behind.”
“Listen,” Mark said firmly, staring intently into Mattie’s face. “No matter what happens, we will always be friends, I promise. Just because I’m leaving now, it doesn’t mean that I’m not coming back. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’m going to forget all the things and all the people that are important to me.” He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “How could I forget this girl? I couldn’t ever. I’m going to be the same Mark I always was, you know that.”
Mattie nodded wordlessly. Just then, the train’s whistle blew again. Mattie took Mark’s wrists and pulled them gently away from her face. “You’d better go. They’re going to leave without you.”
Mark nodded and squeezed her hands. “You be good while I’m gone, okay? Take care of yourself. I’ll call you tonight, when we get there.”
“Okay.” The train’s whistle blew one more time, a final warning. “Will you go already!” Mattie gave him a gentle push.
“Fine, I will!” Mark grinned and gave Mattie one last hug before turning away and sprinting off. He stopped briefly to say a quick last goodbye to his family and to give his mother a kiss before running to hop on the train and joining the other lads standing at the rail waving goodbye to the crowd. Mark turned to wave at Mattie. She waved back and blew him him a kiss, then laughed as Bryan jumped in front of Mark and pretended to grab it for himself. Mark shook his head in mock exasperation and pushed Bryan out of the way. The train started to move and Mattie watched as it pulled out of the station and roared down the track until it disappeared into the distance.
“Hey you two, it’s time to go.”
Mattie and Mark were both shaken out of their reverie. “Oh, right,” Mark said to Kian, who was standing nearby. He turned to Mattie. “You ready?”
She nodded. “Just let me find my dad to say goodbye.” As if he had read her mind, Mr. O’Shaunessy appeared out of the crowd. “Dad!” Mattie cried, running to him for a hug. He squeezed her tightly before turning to Mark with a stern look on his face.
“Now, young Feehily, you be sure to look after my girl, alright?”
Mark opened his mouth to answer, but Mattie cut him off, giving her father a stern look of her own. “I can take care of myself Dad.” The two men exchanged skeptical glances.
“All the same, you make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”
Mattie let out an exasperated noise. Mark smiled, taking her hand. “Don’t worry, Mr. O’Shaunessy,” he said confidently. “I’ll take good care of your little Irish rose.” Mattie blushed.
“Will you two stop? I’m not a little girl you know.” Her father and Mark both laughed at the irritated expression on her face. She was about to say something when she spotted her grandmother and grandfather standing in a cluster with the Feehilys and ran off to say goodbye to them. Mark and Mr. O’Shaunessy watched her go with fond expressions on both their faces.
“Well, you two have both grown up all right haven’t you?” Mr. O’Shaunessy said, smiling benevolently. “You’ve got your career laid out in front of you and Mattie is well on her way to doing – well whatever Mattie is set on doing!” He chuckled to himself. “Seems like only yesterday you two were making mudpies in the front yard and fighting over who got the last bit of cake. Now you’ve grown into a fine young lad. And I mean that literally as well. For a while there we thought you’d never get taller than Mattie.”
Mark grinned, remembering. Mattie had always been a bit taller than him until they reached the age of fifteen. By then Mark’s growth spurt had caught up with Mattie’s and from then on he had continued to grow until he was almost six feet tall, while Mattie still stood at barely 5’6”. “Well, we’ve both come a long way, that’s for sure.” He smiled as he saw Mattie chatting animatedly with her grandparents and his family. He had always liked the way she talked, her hands always moving in expressive gestures. She was laughing, and he couldn’t help wishing she was facing him. Her laughter was something special; it always managed to endear her to people. It would wash over you in a delighted silvery wave of sound and you couldn’t help but to laugh along with her, especially when you could see the way her nose crinkled up. Mark realized that since he had come back, he hadn’t heard her laugh very much, which was unusual for Mattie. And until now, when he heard her laughter, he also hadn’t realized how much he had missed it.
Mr. O’Shaunessy had been eyeing Mark out of the corner of his eye as the younger man stared at his daughter. A knowing smile crept across his face. After all, he wasn’t blind, and it didn’t take an idiot to figure out what was bound to happen between those two, something that had been in progress since the two came out their mothers’ wombs. Granted, it was taking a little longer than he had expected, but with a shy lad like this young Feehily was, it seemed understandable. As it was, he couldn’t wish for a better young man for his only girl. He was a fine, responsible lad, and when he did get in trouble, it was usually Mattie’s fault. He knew that seeing the two of them together was one of the wishes dearest to his beloved wife’s heart. In fact, it seemed like the whole county had their fingers crossed for those two, and he had to admire everybody’s discretion on the matter. Mark and Mattie seemed completely oblivous to the fact that everyone in the town had already identified their situation as inevitable. The only thing left was for them to realize it for themselves.
Mr. O’Shaunessy cleared his throat, startling Mark from his gaze. “Well son, looks like it’s time for you to get going.”
“What? Oh. Yes. Well, I guess we’d better.” He stuck out his hand and the two men shook.
“You remember what I told you about Mattie, to watch out for her.”
“Don’t you worry sir, I’ll remember. I promise I won’t let her get too wild out there on the road.”
“You’d better not. If she comes back in two weeks with tatoos and piercings in inappropriate places, I’ll know who to come after.”
Mark laughed. “You have my word, sir.” With that he ran off to Mattie and tugged her away as she finished saying goodbye to her friends and family.
She waved and blew kisses at the crowd on the platform as Mark dragged her away to the train, which had started up. She stood with the other boys as the train began to move slowly down the track, waving at the throng of people gathered on the platform of the station. Finally, they were out of sight and she and the lads made their way into the passenger car of the train. The Number 6 was a day train that made stops to Dublin daily, so it didn’t have many private cabins. Since the train ride to Dublin was only about three or four hours long, the lads had elected to ride in the passenger car instead of taking private cabins of their own. It was more fun that way, anyway. After Mattie fought Bryan for a window seat, the six of them settled down in their own seats, with Mattie emerging victorious. She, Mark and Nicky sat in one row while Shane, Kian, and Bryan sat in the row across the aisle from them.
Mattie yawned. “Well boys, I’m still kind of tired so I’m going to take a bit of a nap.” She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she jerked back up. The guys stared at her, shocked, as she held up a finger in warning.
“I just want to say that I have read articles on what you guys like to do in your spare time, and in case you were planning on doing something like trying one of those little tricks you play on each other on me, I just wanted you to know that if you even think about writing on my face while I’m asleep, I swear, you will be sorry that Mark ever invited me on this tour with you guys. Seriously. You just try it and I will make these next two weeks miserable for you. MISERABLE. You got me?”
Kian grimaced. “Wow, hell really does hath no fury.” He shrank back when Mattie shot him a look. But then she yawned again and settled back against the back of her seat and checked her watch.
“It’s 8 o’clock now? Then we should be in time for the 2:30 Mass when we get to Dublin.” She noticed the guys staring at her blankly. “What, did you forget today was Sunday?” Suddenly, realization dawned on her. “Wait, wait a minute. Are you telling me you five don’t bother going to Mass anymore?” The boys remained silent but their sheepish glances told the truth. Mattie gasped. “Well now, I can’t believe this.”
The five guys groaned, already knowing the lecture they were about to receive. “Oh, do not even give me that,” Mattie said sternly. “Is this what you do with your good Catholic upbringing? I hope your mothers don’t know that you’ve stopped going to Church, the poor things. They worked and toiled for you all to be good, God-fearing Christians, and the minute their backs are turned, you go and party while you should be reflecting in quiet prayer in Church like good Irish lads, asking for the good Lord’s forgiveness for your corrupted lifestyles.” Mattie shook her head sorrowfully. “I’ll have you know that when I was at University, I didn’t miss a single Sunday Mass if I could help it.”
“Well, congratulations to you, Miss Holier-Than-Thou,” Bryan muttered under his breath. The other lads cracked up.
“Hey!” Mattie said sharply. “What, since now you five are big popstars you think you’re too good to kneel before the Lord? Well, I don’t think so mister! Do any of you even say your prayers at night?”
“I do!” Shane and Mark said, raising their hands proudly. The other three hung their heads in shame. Mattie sighed a weary sigh.
“Well now, I suppose it’s on my shoulders to guide you back to God,” she said resolutely. “Your mothers will thank me for this. And you will too, someday.” She nodded wisely. “Well, now that that’s settled, I’m going to drop off.” With those last profound words, Mattie settled back in her seat. Within minutes, she was out like a light, her deep and even breathing a telltale sign that she had fallen asleep.
Bryan smiled at her across the aisle. “Well, she’s becoming like our momma already.”
Nicky shook his head. “You think that’s bad? You should hear the lectures Georgina gives me. I put my elbows on the table once when we were out at a restaurant and she chewed me out.” He laughed at the memory. “Ah, women. Can’t live with em – ”
“Can’t live without em,” the other four chorused.
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