Chapter 8

Mattie stretched out on the couch in the Feehily’s living room and glanced at the old grandfather clock that stood against the wall next to the television. It was a little past eleven o’ clock, and she was already dead tired. Barry and Colin were like her brothers, and she loved them, but it was still tiring making sure that they didn’t get into any major mischief. She had sent the boys off to bed a few minutes ago, letting Colin stay up an extra two hours later than usual, after making him swear not to tell his parents and to not blame her if he had trouble getting up the next morning. She had a feeling that wouldn’t be a problem though. Colin was usually a morning person, completely the opposite of Mark. In fact, he was different from Mark and Barry both, in so many ways. Colin was loud and outgoing and bubbly for a little lad. Barry was exactly like Mark, except he could be even quieter at times. Mattie loved them and knew them like her own family. She had never had any brothers or sisters, but Mark, Barry and Colin were the next best thing. She felt so lucky every day that she had such wonderful people who she could call family and who thought of her as family as well.

Mattie yawned and checked the clock again. It would be about an hour more until the Feehilys came home, and Mark would probably come home long after that. She reached for the remote and clicked on the television. She had been watching “An Affair To Remember” for a while when someone plopped down on the couch next to her. Mattie turned and looked at the person in amazement.

“Colin, what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” He looked up at her innocently.

“What do you mean, ‘What do I mean’? I mean, what are you doing down here at eleven o’clock at night sitting next to me on the couch watching television acting like you do this all the time?”

Colin shrugged. “I can’t sleep.”

Mattie groaned and smacked herself on the forehead.

“Uhh…are you okay Mattie?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you have that ice cream! That’s what’s keeping you awake! I’m the worst baby-sitter ever!”

Colin gave her a funny look, then turned back to the television. “What’s this? Black and white? Yuck! There is no way I’m going to watch some moldy old movie. What else is on?” He reached for the remote.

Mattie blocked his hand. “You are absolutely right. You are not going to watch this moldy old movie, or anything else for that matter. You are going right upstairs to bed, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

“Aww,” he grumbled. “Well then can you at least come up and sit with me until I fall asleep? It’s boring just lying there and waiting. And it’s no fun counting sheep. It doesn’t even work! If you come at least I’ll have some company.”

“Alright, that’s fine with me.” Mattie got up off the couch with Colin following behind her. “Just do me a favor and don’t mention to your parents that I’m a horrible, horrible babysitter.”

“You’re not horrible, you’re fun Mattie,” Colin said grinning. “And I’m not a baby by the way.”

Mattie laughed. “Of course, I’m so sorry. Will you forgive me?” She bent down and placed a kiss on his head.

“Ew!”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. But don’t make a habit of it.”

“I won’t.”

Colin reached the stairs and ran up to his room, jumping on his bed. Mattie entered the room and surveyed it. “New bed?”

“Yeah, Mark got one of these for himself and he liked it so much that he got one for all of us.”

“This bed is huge! What was he thinking?!”

Colin shrugged. “I think this is the only size or something. There’s my old bed, in the corner. That’s the one Bryan sleeps in. But I think he’s going to break it soon or something, because when he gets on it, it creaks like crazy. But this new bed is comfortable.”

“Can I try?”

“Sure.” Colin scooted over to make room for Mattie as she sat down on the bed. She gasped.

“Oh my god! This bed is amazing!”

“Yeah, it’s alright.”

Mattie laughed. “Think Mark can get me one of these babies?” She propped herself against the pillows on the headboard.

“Sure. Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we dragged his bed to your room and replaced it with your bed?”

“Uhh…not tonight hun. I haven’t got that much energy left. Maybe some other time. And besides, we would probably wake Barry up in the process. Which reminds me, are you getting sleepy yet?”

Colin squinched his face in thought. “A little. Well, not really.”

“Hmm…so what are we gonna do now?”

“I dunno. Too bad Bryan’s not here.”

Mattie smiled. “How come?”

“Well, you know how he talks a lot?"

“Yes, Colin, I think we all know.”

“Well, he's even worse at bedtime. He talks so much I just want to throw my pillow at him and tell him to shut his trap. I told Mum about it and she said if I dared to actually throw a pillow at him, she would give me a a whaling I wouldn’t soon forget.”

Mattie laughed. “What does he talk about?”

“I’m not really sure. Sometimes he talks about stuff that I don’t understand, but that doesn’t really matter because after about five minutes, I’ve usually either stopped listening or fallen asleep. That’s why I wish he was here now, so he could make me fall asleep.”

Mattie laughed again. “Well we don’t have Bryan, so I’ll guess we’ll have to make – do. So what do you want to try?”

Colin thought. “Well, there is one thing…but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Ah, a veil of secrecy. I’m intrigued. Go on.”

“When I was littler, my mum used to sing to me.”

“Well, my mum used to sing to me too. Which song? Maybe I know it.”

“I’m not really sure, but I think it’s called ‘Goodnight My Angel’. That’s how it starts out anyway, I’m not sure if that’s the name. Do you know that one?”

Mattie smiled, swallowing back a lump that had risen in her throat. “Yes, I know that one.”

Mark opened the door to his house slowly, knowing that Barry and Colin were probably both asleep. Walking silently into the house, he noticed Mattie’s shoes near the doorway. She was still here. There was no sign of anyone downstairs, so he quietly made his way upstairs. He paused by the room that he and Barry shared and checked on his little brother. Barry lay sleeping on his bed, his breathing even and deep. Mark smiled at his sleeping form before continuing on to Colin’s room. He was surprised to see the light still on. Mark paused just outside the doorway. He could hear someone singing. It was Mattie. He smiled when he recognized the song…

By this time, Mark had moved into the doorway, his tall body leaning against the frame. He stood there, gazing at Mattie and Colin with a fond, nostalgic look in his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. The two on the bed had not noticed him yet, and Mark was content to keep it that way for a while longer. For the moment it was enough to just look at them. They made a lovely picture. Mattie was sitting, propped up against the headboard, her arm around Colin, who was lying next to her. Her hand was smoothing Colin’s hair as she softly sang to him. There was an enchanting, exquisite, and essentially maternal quality about her as she bent over him tenderly, watching his face as he drifted off into sleep. He thought they quaint pair, his ebullient little brother and his equally effervescent best friend. It was a scene that he tucked away in his memory, a scene that he would remember forever for its sweetness and innocence.

Just then, Mattie looked up and noticed Mark leaning against the doorway. She smiled at him and held a finger up to her lips, shushing him before he said a word. Mark nodded and slowly tiptoed his way over to the bed. He stood, looking at Mattie with a smile on his face. “My mum used to sing me that song.” Mattie smiled back at him, her eyes suspiciously moist. “Yours and mine both.” Mark leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Any room for me?” he said, gesturing to the bed.

“I think there’s room for you, your dog, and a major appliance on this mother of a bed. But you’ll have to get on the other side. There’s no way I’m scooting over and risk waking him up now, he’s just dropped off.”

“Okay.” Mark went over to the opposite side and climbed on the bed carefully.

“You’re home pretty early,” Mattie adressed Mark as he settled down on the bed.

“Yeah, I mentioned to Bryan that I had a bit of a headache, and all of a sudden he disappeared. Then all of the boys and Caitlin came out of nowhere and insisted that I go home. I thought that was kind of strange, but I was knackered and I didn’t really feel like partying anymore so I just came back.”

“I suppose they were just looking out for you. After all, we’ve got an early morning tomorrow, and we all know how you are when you wake up.”

Mark grinned. “Yeah…we all missed you at the party, Mat.”

“Yes, I know how everyone hankers after my company,” Mattie said smiling. “Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices. But the boys and I had a rip-roaring time tonight.”

“Yeah? What did you do?”

“Well first we had a picnic dinner out in the front yard, then we went out back and kicked the football around for a while. I won.”

“You’re too competitive Mattie. I hope you didn’t give Barry or Colin any lasting physical injuries.”

“Will you be quiet, I’m telling you about our evening.”

“So sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. After I won the football game, we went in and I made them consolation ice cream sundaes to soothe their wounded man-egos. As expected, the lads were a bit grudging towards me over my glorious victory. Men are such sore losers. But they forgave me when I let them have the ice cream. Then we watched the telly for a bit while we played a deadly game of Junior Monopoly. I won that too. Don’t say a word,” Mattie warned holding up her finger when she saw that Mark was about to say something. “I won fair and square. Anyway, of course they were behaving very immaturely about my second conquest. But then “Stand By Me” came on the television and they insisted that I let them stay up and watch it. So I let them, that being the only way I could figure to placate their punctured egos a second time. Then I sent them promptly upstairs to bed but then this little lad came back downstairs, as unconcerned and airy as can be, and tried to stay up to watch some more late night television, but I marched him right back up. I have just now got him back to sleep. And that was our evening.”

“Sounds like you had a riotous time,” Mark said, still smiling over Mattie’s comical account of the evening.

“That we did,” Mattie replied, smiling fondly at Colin’s sleeping face. Suddenly she couldn’t resist and she bent down to kiss him on top of his downy head. Mattie laughed. “He’d kill me if he knew I had just done that.”

Mark laughed with her. “Yeah, he’s still in that stage I guess. He thinks all girls are ‘icky’. ”

“Yeah, I gave him a kiss earlier this evening, and he told me not to make a habit of it.”

“That’s all? If it had been any other girl he would have probably run from the room screaming bloody murder. And probably would have headed for the bathroom, too. To disinfect himself. But I guess he doesn’t really think of you as a real girl.”

Mattie gave Mark a pointed look. “Excuse me? Not a ‘real’ girl? Care to explain that last comment, Mister Feehily?”

Mark blushed. “No! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant, you know, that since you’ve known him for so long, you’re not really a girl – I mean, you know, you’re more like his mother – ”

“His mother?!”

“No! I mean – ”

“You know Mark, I’m sure there’s a shovel lying somewhere in the back yard. Perhaps you would like to grab it and make that hole that you’re digging yourself into a little bit easier,” Mattie suggested helpfully. By now Mark was blushing even more furiously. “Never mind. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just giving you a hard time.”

“It never stops,” Mark sighed. He dodged Mattie’s hand as it came over his head, thinking she was going to hit him. “Ha! You didn’t get me! OW!!!” Mattie had reached over and pinched his arm hard instead. “That hurt!”

“Of course it did! I do not give wimpy girl pinches. My pinches go all the way. And will you keep it down?! There is a certain small boy between us that needs his beauty rest.”

“Alright! Just don’t pinch me again. And I was not trying to hurt your feelings,” Mark said, exaggerating the word. “I was just saying that Colin doesn’t like to hang around with girls, and he only likes to hang around with you because your like his…sister. That’s it, like his sister. Remember when we were his age? I hated girls too. You were the only one I would associate with because I didn’t think of you as icky like the other girls.”

Mattie smiled. “A high compliment indeed. A girl always likes to be told that she is not icky.” She looked down at Colin tenderly. “Well, I suppose that frame of mind is normal for a nine year old. After all, I suppose there was a time when I thought boys were all icky too.” Mattie paused, still looking down at Colin’s sleeping face, a pensive look overtaking her own delicate features. “But someday…someday he’ll change his mind about us. He’ll see how wonderful and how beautiful a relationship between a girl and a boy can really be. And someday there’ll be a girl, and he’ll lose his heart to her. And with any luck, she’ll lose her heart to him, too.” Mattie ran the back of her finger lightly over Colin’s cheek. “Someday…”

Mark had been gazing at Mattie as she spoke. He had never seen her speak like this, speak so tenderly and so truly. This wasn’t the same lively, witty, sarcastic Mattie he had always known. This was a new side of Mattie that he was perceiving. And there was something behind her words that he couldn’t quite make out. The words she spoke were hopeful, and full of promise, but there was an undertone of wistfulness…almost sadness. At that moment, Mark couldn’t take his eyes off her. Suddenly, he didn’t know why, but he felt the urge to hold her. He got up from his side of the bed and went over to Mattie’s. She looked up at him in surprise as he took her hands and pulled her off the bed. Mark stared into Mattie’s eyes for a brief, touching moment before bending over slightly and gathering Mattie into his arms in a gentle hug. She stiffened for a moment, but then her inhibitions slipped away as she wound her arms around his neck. Mattie closed her eyes. All she could do was absorb the feeling of being with him, being near him. For the moment, she allowed herself to imagine that he was hers and she was his, and she could feel the sadness and the pain that she had felt for so long begin to slip away from her soul. They stood there together for what seemed like forever, and for the moment, it was like there wasn’t anyone else in the world except for the two of them.

At last, Mark stepped back and looked into Mattie’s eyes. “I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to have you,” he said softly, reaching a hand up to touch her soft hair. “I could never begin to explain how much you mean to me, and how it sustains me everyday knowing that you’re always there for me, and Mattie, I promise that I will always be there for you. You know that our friendship is one of the few things that I can always count on.” Mattie’s eyes welled up with unshed tears at the tender, heartfelt words, and she couldn’t speak. Mark went on. “You don’t know how happy and grateful I was when you said you would come with us on tour. Things have been really hectic lately, and there’s been a lot of pressure on us to really succeed over in the States, and sometimes I don’t think I can handle the demands and the strains of what we do. But you know, all I have to do is think of you and my family, and I know that I am able to do this, because I can feel the constant love and support that you give me everyday, even when you are not realizing it. Knowing that I’ll have you here with me in these upcoming weeks means more to me than I can say.” He touched her cheek gently. And I just want…I just wanted to say – thank you.”

Mattie fought to keep back the tears that threatened to fall. She kept quiet, knowing that if she attempted to speak, she would have broken down in sobs. So instead, she hugged him again. Mark drew her closer to him, and they stood in stillness, both treasuring the precious moment. Finally, Mattie got a hold of herself and pulled away.

“I – I should go home,” she said, not looking at him. “I’ve still got a couple more things to pack away, and you need your rest.”

“I’ll walk you back,” Mark offered, taking her hand.

“That’s alright. You have really got to get some sleep. We don’t want you looking like the living dead tomorrow. Or acting like it for that matter.”

Mark smiled. “You sure?”

“Positive. Now let’s get out of here and leave Colin alone, poor lad.” Mattie leaned over and turned off the lamp on the table next to the bed. Mattie and Mark walked softly downstairs and over to the front door. Mattie bent over and picked up her discarded shoes.

“Good night Mattie,” Mark said, bending over and kissing Mattie’s cheek gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Good night Mark.” Mattie turned and opened the door, stepping outside into the cool summer night air. She made the brief walk to her own front door, and turned to the side to see Mark still standing at his. He waved, and she waved back before stepping into her house and closing the door. Mattie stood in the hallway for a moment, collecting herself. She noticed that the light was still on in the living room and stepped into it curiously.

“Dad? Are you still up?”

Mattie’s father looked up from where he was sitting in the armchair, reading a newspaper by the light of the lamp. “Oh hello Mattie. How was your evening?”

“Fine. I had fun. The boys did too.” Mattie walked over and kissed her father on the cheek before settling on the chair opposite him.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“What are you still doing up? It’s almost twelve.”

“Well, I was waiting for you to come back. There’s something that I wanted to give to you before you left. It’s going to be pretty hectic in the morning with the rush to leave, and I just wanted to give it to you now.”

“What is it?” Mattie asked curiously. She watched as her father picked up a small velvet jewelry box from the table beside him and handed it to her.

“Just a little something for my little Irish rose.”

Mattie took the small box and opened it carefully. She gasped when she saw what was inside. “Oh Dad, this is beautiful!” she breathed. She lifted the thing out of the box. It was a small silver cross suspended by a delicate silver chain. The cross was intricately and exquisitely designed, with a small silver rose set in the center and thin vines branching out on each of the cross’ four extensions. It was lovely, and it looked very old. “Where did this come from?”

Mattie’s father smiled. “My grandmother gave it to me just before she died, when I was sixteen years old. She told me to give this to that special girl that I’d love forever. I gave it to your mother on our wedding day twenty-three years ago, and I’m giving it to you now.”

Mattie’s eyes welled up with tears for the second time that night. “How come now?”

“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure. I intended to give it to you on your wedding day, but for some odd reason, I feel that this is the right time. Story goes that it was blessed by the bishop of Ireland more than a hundred years ago. It is a symbol of love, sacrifice, and faith, and it’s meant to guide you. Take it with you Mattie, and remember to cherish it always, as your great-grandmother and your mother did before you.”

“I will Dad,” Mattie promised with tears in her eyes. Her father took the delicate necklace from her fingers and walked around behind Mattie to fasten it around her neck. Mattie smiled, and could almost see the scene that unfolded so long ago, when her father, as a young groom, fastened this beautiful and cherished thing around the neck of his girl-bride. They had married young, both had been only nineteen years old, just slighty older than Mattie was now. She turned around and hugged her father tightly. “Thank you Dad. This means so much to me. I promise I’ll take good care of it.”

Mr. O’Shaunessy smiled affectionately at his only daughter. “I know you will darling. Well, you run off to bed now, we’ve got an early start tomorrow. We have to be at McDiarmada at seven sharp. Don’t want the train to leave without you.”

“Alright Dad.” Mattie gave him one last hug before turning and heading towards her own room. A few minutes later, she was dressed and ready for bed. She knelt beside her valise and packed away the last of what she needed. But there was just one more thing. Mattie reached her arm toward the nightstand and picked up the small silver frame that contained the picture of her mother. She touched the cool glass lightly. It was a beautiful picture of her mother, taken a few months before she and her father had gotten married. It had been the day of the annual church picnic. Her mother was sitting on the blanket, her legs tucked beneath her, her hands resting in her lap, smiling up at the camera. She was so young and so happy. Her father had taken the picture, and in her mother’s eyes Mattie could see the love and adoration that the young woman felt for the young lad behind the camera. Mattie had often wondered when the day would come when she would feel love like that, and have someone love her that way in return. She bit her lip.

“Well Mum,” she whispered softly. “This is it. I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. I hope I’m not making the wrong decision. Please let me be strong.” She reached up to touch the cross that now hung from her neck. “I don’t want to fall…not again.”

Chapter 9

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