Georgina raised her eyebrow as she watched Mattie fidget nervously around on her stool. She couldn’t keep still, tapping her fingers on the counter, and jiggling her shoe against the metal of the stool. Her eyes were constantly roaming the room as if she were looking for someone. But as hard as she was looking, Georgina noticed that Mattie didn’t seem to see the guys that were giving her approving looks. Indeed, was was unconsciously ignoring every single one of them. Actually, Georgina didn’t seem to notice either that blokes were giving her looks that Nicky would have no doubt felt he had to regulate on, but at least she had an excuse – she had a boyfriend. Mattie, however, had no such validation. Although the club was full of good looking, eligible guys, Mattie didn’t seem to notice a single one, and a smile crept across Georgina’s face as she mused over the reasons, not the least of which had to do with a certain dark-haired, blue eyed Irish popstar. Little did she know that her reasoning was not at all far-fetched.

Mattie leaned her chin on her hand and continued tapping her fingers on the counter. She took a quick drink of the Coke she had ordered and shot an envious look at the red stamp on Georgina’s hand that allowed her to order alcohol. Being a nineteen-year-old Irish girl in the States certainly did have its limitations. Now she knew what Mark, Shane, Kian, and Bryan must feel like. She didn’t consume alcohol on a regular basis, but a good drink would no doubt do something to calm her jittered nerves. That morning’s revelation had left her ready to bite her nails off, she was so nervous. There hadn’t been any time when Georgina and the lads had come back from the day’s performances. They had come back to the hotel to fetch Mattie and their luggage and then it was off to the airport to catch the shuttle flight to Orlando. She and Mark hadn’t had a chance to spend any time together, and Mattie didn’t know if she was more disappointed or more relieved. She honestly had no idea what she would say to him if they finally did manage to get some time alone. Mattie bit her lip anxiously and her fingers started to tap more rapidly on the surface of the bar.

Finally, Georgina had had enough and her hand darted out to silence Mattie’s incessant clicking. Georgina turned to her with an exasperated expression. “Alright, that’s it,” she said firmly. “Spill it.”

“What?” Mattie asked, surprised.

“Well, something is definitely on your mind, you can’t even sit still! And it’s driving me absolutely mad. So. Either you tell me what you’re so nervous about or stop being so annoying!” Georgina looked at the younger girl’s face expectantly.

Mattie looked helplessly around the club, trying to think of an answer. She knew she couldn’t tell Georgina about why she was acting this way. In fact, the only person she could tell was Caitlin, or Shane, and she wasn’t ready just yet. She didn’t even know herself what she was doing. Mattie blew air out of her lips and gave Georgina a sheepish look.

“Can I have that?” she asked, pointing to Georgina’s mai tai. Georgina watched in amusement as Mattie took her drink and downed it quickly. She put the empty glass back down on the bar and licked her lips. “Can you order another one of those? Or maybe five?”

Georgina laughed. “Maybe later,” she said as the bartender came by the pick up the glass. Mattie stared forlornly at the row of bottles behind the bar and sighed heavily. Georgina shook her head, still smiling. “Look Mattie,” she said. “I don’t know what’s up with you but why don’t you go out and dance a bit? Maybe that will loosen you up?”

Mattie looked out at the crowded dance floor. “I don’t know…”

“You really should, Mattie,” Georgina encouraged. “And you know, there’s bloke over there that’s been eyeing you since we got here,” she said mischievously.

Mattie looked surprised. “What bloke?”

Georgina discreetly aimed her head in a certain direction. Sure enough, a good looking guy about her age who was also sitting at the bar had his gaze fixed on her. He was sitting with what seemed like a group of his own friends but it seemed he wasn’t paying much attention to them and was instead looking at her shyly. “I don’t know…” she said again, uncertainly.

“Oh, go on!” Georgina prodded. “It couldn’t hurt. But it looks like you haven’t got much of a choice, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“He must have seen us looking and now he’s coming over.”

“What?” Mattie whirled her head around just in time to see the guy coming towards them.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” he asked politely, indicating the empty stool next to Mattie’s.

“Oh…no, of course not,” she told him, forcing a gracious smile. She turned back to Georgina, who, to her dismay, had turned her back to Mattie and was chatting animatedly with the other person sitting on the other side of her. Groaning inwardly, Mattie turned back to the stranger, who was looking at her with a shy smile. In spite of herself, she smiled back.

“I guess I should introduce myself,” he said, sticking out his hand. “My name’s Ben.”

“My name’s Mattie,” she answered, shaking his hand.

Ben smiled at her. “Is that an accent?” he asked.

“What? Oh! Yes. I’m from Ireland,” Mattie answered him, a bit flustered.

“Wow, that’s cool,” he said. There was an awkward silence as Mattie sipped at her Coke and Ben played with his hands. “Sooo…” he said uncertainly. “How about a dance?”

Mattie looked out at the dance floor reluctantly and was about to politely decline when suddenly, she was shoved off of her stool and practically into Ben’s lap. Mattie stood up straight and dusted herself off while shooting a dirty look at Georgina’s innocent back. She turned back to Ben and smiled at him.

“A dance sounds lovely,” she said. Ben smiled brightly and took her hand as he led her out to the dance floor.

“Hey, can you see the girls?” Mark asked, trying to see over Bryan who was in front of him.

“No…no sign of them yet,” Bryan answered. “Oh, wait! There’s G!”

“Where is she?” Kian said, craning his neck to look.

“Right there, at the bar,” Bryan pointed.

“Oh, I see her,” Shane said. “But where’s Mattie?”

“She’s not with Georgina?” said a surprised Mark.

Shane shook his head. “No, they’re not together. G’s talking to some guy at the bar, but Mattie’s nowhere in sight. And there’s only one other place she could be…” All four sets of eyes traveled to the crowded dance floor. “She’s got to be out there somewhere,” Shane mused as he tried to see. “Oh, there she is!” he said as he caught sight of her.

“Wowww,” Kian said as Bryan let out a wolf whistle.

“What? Where is she? I don’t see her,” Mark said, his eyes scanning the crowd.

“Right there man,” Bryan said as he took Mark by the head and turned it in the direction of where Mattie was out on the dance floor. The other lads grinned when they saw the way Mark’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open at the sight of her. Mark’s gaze was fixed on Mattie as she danced. He had never seen her in an outfit like that before and he couldn’t help but notice how it hugged her slim figure. She looked – really…good. Will you stop that? What are you thinking? he chastised himself when he realized that he was eyeing her up. Mark shook his head as if to clear it and that’s when he noticed for the first time the guy who Mattie was dancing with. Mark’s eyes narrowed as he sized up the stranger.

“Who is that?” he asked suspiciously as he took in the way the guy was dancing with Mattie. Immediately, the other three groaned in exasperation and rolled their eyes.

“Oh fer chrissake, Feehily,” Kian admonished. “She’s just dancing with the man. Don’t get all hot and bothered like before.”

“What?” Mark turned to Kian with a baffled look on his face. “What are you talking about?”

“Remember right before we left for Israel and we went to Temple with the girls? And Peter showed up?” Bryan reminded him. “You looked ready to chew the poor bloke’s leg off.”

“I was not,” Mark scoffed. “I didn’t care about Peter. It doesn’t bother me who Mattie dances with.”

“Oh, is that why you ran off to the private bar after she started dancing with him?” Shane remarked innocently. Mark shot him an irritated look.

“I went to the private room because…I had a headache.” The others looked at him skeptically and Mark shifted uncomfortably. “Well, is it so bad that I look out for her?” he blurted out finally. “She is my best friend, you know. I have the right to be a bit protective. When you’re best friend is a girl, that’s just instinct. You automatically feel like you ought to protect her.”

“Well, if I know Mattie, and I think I do,” Bryan began. “I bet she could tell you what you could do with your protectiveness and that’s shove it up your-”

“Bryan!” Kian and Shane exclaimed. Shane shook his head.

“What Bryan is trying to say is that we all know how independent Mattie is and she wouldn’t stand for anyone trying to tell her what she should and shouldn’t do.”

“And who she should and shouldn’t dance with,” Kian finished pointedly.

“Who says I’m aiming to tell her what to do?” Mark defended himself. “I’m just trying to take care of her. I promised her dad, after all.”

“Take care of her?” Shane said incredulously. “She’d think that’s ten times worse than just being protective. You’d think you’d know this by now, Mark! Don’t you remember when you two were fifteen and Mattie started going with that guy a grade above? And then you found out he was seeing someone else behind her back and you told her and she punched you in the face?” Mark rubbed his nose, wincing at the memory. “You told her then that you were ‘just’ trying to take care of her and that made her even more angry. Mattie’s her own person Mark. She doesn’t take well to people interfering in her life, even if they have good intentions.”

“I know that,” Mark mumbled. “But wasn’t I right? Wasn’t I?” He drew himself up and set his face. “He was going out with someone else. And when she found out for herself, I was the first person she came to. That was her first broken heart, and I was there for her. I took care of her. She needed me.”

“And she still does,” Shane assured him. “But you just have to make sure that when you’re looking out for her, you do it in a way that doesn’t seem like you’re trying to babysit your little sister. You can do that sometimes, you know.”

Mark contemplated for a moment and then his eyes fell on the pair again. The stranger Mattie was dancing with had his arm around her waist and was dancing extremely close to her. At least, he was in Mark’s opinion. His eyes narrowed again. “This guy could be a convicted rapist for all we know.”

The other three groaned again in exasperation. “Feehily, you are hopeless,” Bryan said, clapping Mark on the back. Just then, Nicky appeared behind them, his hair in impeccable order, with Anto by his side.

“Alright lads, it’s time,” Anto said. “The crowd is waiting..” At that, they all began to follow Anto to the steps leading to the stage. Mark took one last look at Mattie in the crowd before closing the door finally and going out onstage with the others.

“Well, we’ve got a special treat for everyone here tonight,” the DJ continued in an energetic voice. “I’m sure most of you here have seen the fliers, we’ve got some pretty important guests in the house. All the way from Ireland, one of the biggest musical phenomenons in Europe, breaking all kinds of records all over the place and ready to take the US by storm, let’s give it up for Westlife!” The crowd started hooting and hollering ecstatically, and Mattie smiled proudly at the reaction. She turned to Ben with a smile on her face.

“Would you mind terribly if I sit out the next couple of songs? I’d really like to watch the performance.”

Ben nodded and grinned at her. “No problem, Mattie. You’re a big fan, huh? Did you follow them here from Ireland?”

Mattie laughed. “You’re not too far off the mark actually.” She reached out and squeezed his hand. “I had a lovely time, thank you. I hope I’ll see you again later tonight.”

“You bet,” he said grinning. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before disappearing somewhere into the crowd. Mattie stood smiling like an idiot for a second before turning to walk back to where Georgina was still sitting at the bar. Georgina gave Mattie an amused look as she sat back down on her stool.

“So, how was he?” she asked, noting the blush on Mattie’s cheeks.

“He was…really nice,” Mattie admitted, still smiling.

“You see? I told you you’d have a good time,” Georgina said knowingly.

“I did, G. Thanks.” Mattie leaned over and gave Georgina a hug.

“Oh, enough with that mushy stuff,” Georgina scoffed jokingly. She looked up at the stage. “Hey, here come the lads.” Mattie turned also to see the guys filing on the stage one by one. The noise level in the club went up several notches and Mattie clapped her hands together enthusiastically, excited that so many people were so eager to see Westlife perform, especially since these people were Americans. Mattie knew how important it was because these people were a part of Westlife’s target audience for this promotional tour. She noticed Mark scanning the crowd anxiously and his eyes settled on her, sitting with Georgina. His expression looked somewhat relieved as Mattie waved to him ecstatically. He grinned at her and gave her a little wave of his own before the first bars of “No No” started to blare from the speakers.

Westlife launched enthusiastically into their set and gave a tremendous show. The response from the audience couldn’t have been better, much to their delight. Since this was a club, the repertoire consisted mainly of their more uptempo, danceable numbers so that by the end, the crowd was ready to hear the single that the boys were currently promoting in the States. Mattie smiled when she heard the first strains of “Swear It Again” fill the air. She hadn’t heard it for a while, it was old news in the UK by now, but she had such fond memories of this song. It had been Westlife’s first number one, after all, so how could any of them not have a fond attachment to it? Mattie was thoroughly enjoying having the chance to hear them singing it live again when a hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled when she saw Ben standing there with a hopeful expression on his face.

“Um, I know that you wanted to see them perform and all, but I was just wondering if you might want to dance anyway,” he said timidly. “Just to this one. You know, since it’s a slow song…?”

Mattie smiled again. “I’d love to,” she said. A smile lit Ben’s face as he held out his hand to her. Mattie took it and he led her out to the dance floor which already hosted other couples who were also slow dancing. Mattie wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck and he circled his around her waist and they swayed slowly to the music. She looked up at the stage as Shane began the second verse. She discreetly waved to all of the guys and they all winked or smiled at her. As Mattie’s gaze settled on Mark, she was about to wave to him again also, but the look on his face stopped her short. His expression was troubled as he looked back at her. Mattie gave him a questioning look but he didn’t have any time to react because the bridge was coming up. Mattie shrugged and she and Ben continued dancing as the song ended. That was the last song of the set and everyone clapped as the boys said their goodbyes and thank-yous and exited the stage. Mattie turned back to Ben with a smile.

“Well, I had a lovely time tonight, Ben. Thank you so much.” She gave him a friendly hug and smiled to herself when his face flushed with pleasure.

“Aw, it was no problem,” he said, smiling. “You’ve got my number, right?”

Mattie showed him the back of her hand on which Ben had written his phone number earlier. “I’ve got it.”

“Don’t go to the bathroom and wash it off now,” he joked.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Ben took her hands in his and pressed them gently before giving her another kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll be seeing you.” Mattie nodded and watched as Ben made his way through the crowd back to the group that he had arrived with. She smiled to herself and went back to Georgina, who was still sitting at the bar. Georgina looked up from her drink as Mattie sat down again.

“Well, you’ve been getting quite a bit of action tonight,” she commented.

Mattie shrugged, trying to keep the smile off her face. “It was just a few dances. And it wasn’t like it was with a bunch of different blokes. Just one.”

“Right.” Georgina sipped at her drink indifferently. “Seems to me that the lad was quite smitten.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous,” Mattie said. “We’ve only just met and I’ll bet you anything that we’ll never see each other again.” The bartender came by just then and Mattie ordered another Coke. The bartender filled up a glass for her and set it down on the bar. Georgina arched an eyebrow when she noticed the number on Mattie’s hand as she picked up her drink.

“And would you mind telling me what that is?” she questioned, pointing to the numbers on the back of her hand. “I don’t recall your hand being covered with numbers when we got here.”

“Ohhh,” Mattie said dismissively. “It isn’t anything.”

“It’s his number, isn’t it?” Georgina asked, grinning widely.

“Uhh…well, erm…” Mattie had never been any good at lying. Georgina laughed at Mattie’s embarrassed stuttering.

“Oh Mattie, you are quite the predator,” she remarked, amused.

“I am not!” Mattie defended herself. “I didn’t ask for the number, he just gave it to me.”

“Hmmm…” was all Georgina said. Mattie nervously took a gulp of her soda and looked around the club. She caught sight of the lads, surrounded by a crowd of girls, talking to them and signing autographs. They looked up and saw Georgina and Mattie, and waved to them before returning their attention to the fans. The two of them waited patiently for the boys to finish. It was about twenty more minutes until they were finally done and were able to reach the girls. Nicky gave Georgina a kiss before ordering a drink for himself, and the other lads watched enviously as Nicky raised his glass to them and grinned before downing it.

“You really like to rub it in, don’t ya mate?” Bryan groaned as he looked forlornly at the soda he had to order for himself.

“I’m thoroughly enjoying it, thank you,” Nicky said mischievously before giving the empty glass back to the bartender and ordering another. Georgina and Mattie laughed as the four gave Nicky dirty looks.

“So how’d you girls like the performance tonight?” Shane asked them, changing the subject.

“Oh, it was wonderful!” Mattie said enthusiastically and Georgina echoed the sentiment.

“Thanks!” the boys answered, pleased with the praise. Mattie noticed that Mark remained silent, and he seemed a bit distracted, either staring off into space or glancing around the club at odd intervals.

“Something wrong, bub?” Mattie asked him playfully as she squeezed his cheeks with one hand, laughing when her gesture made a fishy face.

Mark smiled when she laughed and gave Mattie an odd look before shrugging indifferently. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he lied. In actuality, he was burning with the curiosity of who the bloke was that Mattie had been dancing with all night. He was just trying to figure out a roundabout way of asking her about it without sounding like he was prying. Mark knew from experience that if Mattie sensed he was being nosy, she would nip his attempts in the bud with some sort of scathing remark about how he shouldn’t be poking around in other peoples’ business. He recalled the conversation with Shane, Kian and Bryan before the show had started. Anyone who knew Mattie had to admit that she was funny that way. As outgoing and as open that her personality was, she was in fact very closed mouthed about what went on in her private life. In fact, she was rather sensitive about that particular subject altogether and didn’t talk about it often, and sometimes Mark wondered why that was, because she never seemed to have any trouble talking about anything else. Usually, Mattie could talk anyone’s ear off on a range of subjects, from literature to business to politics to even nothing at all, but she usually steered clear of a conversation that was going in the direction of her romantic life. So Mark knew that it would be tricky to get her to talk about the person she’d been with that night. As curious as he was, he would have to go about it very carefully.

“So…” he said casually. Mattie looked at him expectantly when Mark spoke. “What did you girls do all night?”

Mattie shrugged. “Nothing really,” she said indifferently. Mark’s face fell and he was about to try another tactic when Georgina spoke up.

“Well, I did nothing,” Georgina remarked. “Mattie here was a different story.”

“Oh yeah?” Mark said eagerly, silently thanking Georgina in his mind. “How so?”

Mattie remained silent, but Georgina was more than willing to share her information. “Well, while I was wasting away at this bar here, Mattie was out dancing up a storm with some American bloke that had taken a fancy to her.” She pointed to where Ben was sitting with his friends. “There he is, right there.”

“Georgina!” Mattie exclaimed. “Don’t be so obvious!” Everyone else ignored her and craned their necks to look. When Ben turned his head in their direction, he did a double take when he saw them all staring at him, but smiled at Mattie and gave her a little wave. Mattie smiled back tightly and then hid her face in her arms, which were resting on the bar. “You guys are such an embarrassment,” she groaned, her voice muffled.

“Wait, I don’t see him anywhere,” Bryan complained.

“Right there, Bry,” Georgina said, pointing again, much to Mattie’s dismay.

“Ahhh…” Bryan said when he caught sight of him. “The rapist, right?”

Mattie’s head snapped up at that. “The what?”

“Well, we saw you dancing with that guy earlier and Mark is convinced that he’s a rapist.”

“I did not say that!” Mark defended himself. “I said, for all we know, he could be a rapist.”

“Oh, so you guys did see them dancing together earlier,” Georgina said.

“We might have noticed,” Mark said, trying to make his voice sound casual. He stared into the glass of water that he had ordered. “Actually, it was kind of hard not to notice, the way you two were dancing.” That slipped out before he could stop it.

Mattie narrowed her eyes when she heard that. “Excuse me?” she said in a dangerously low voice.

“Uh oh…” Bryan said, looking away innocently as everyone else, sensing there was about to be trouble, inched away from the two of them.

“And just how were we dancing, if you care to explain?” Mattie asked. She folded her arms and looked at Mark with an expectant look on her face, her mouth already pressed into a thin line. Mark knew that he was in deep water now but for some reason, he didn’t stop or try to cover up his comment as he would have in the past, to get himself out of trouble. For some reason, he felt drawn to provoke her, to get Mattie to say something about the part of her that she always tried to keep from everyone else.

“Well…” Mark began carefully. He had to be careful if he wanted to avoid a full on, blown out scene. Mattie was amiable and easygoing by nature, but she did have a temper that she could pull out if the situation called for it. All Mark was looking for was a reaction, not an explosion. “It’s just…well, Americans are a bit more forward than anyone else…and it shows in their dancing.”

“Does it really?” Mattie said, her eybrow arching. “I didn’t notice him dancing any differently than anyone else I’ve ever danced with.”

“Well, maybe you’re too close to the situation to see it,” Mark answered. “He was definitely dancing very…well, let’s just say he was dancing like he wanted to get to know you better. Scratch that, he was dancing like he wanted to get to know you a LOT better.”

Mattie’s eyes were already blazing, but she was trying her best not to explode. “What right have you got to say that?” she said angrily. “I can’t believe you, Mark. Don’t you think I’d know if someone was doing that? And even if he WAS dancing with me the way you say, which he wasn’t, don’t you think I’d have the good sense to know about it and stop it before anything started? Don’t you have any faith in me at all? What kind of a girl do you think I am, Mark?” Mattie’s eyes were still angry, but there was an undercast of a hurt expression on her face now. “You did this exact same thing with Peter. He and Ben are both perfectly nice, gentlemanly people, and you haven’t got any right to slag them off the way you are.”

“Mattie, you don’t know how a lad’s mind works,” Mark began, but Mattie cut him off.

“What? Are you kidding?” Mattie exclaimed in an incredulous tone. “I don’t know how a lad’s mind works? Oh please, Mark! This is me! Wouldn’t you think after all these years I’d have a a exceptionally clear grasp of what goes on inside a man’s head? I had a good time tonight with Ben and that was as far as it went. He was nothing but nice and pleasant and loads of good fun. But that was it, Mark. It wasn’t any more than that.”

“Oh come on, Mattie, don’t be so naïve,” Mark fired back. He knew he should stop before Mattie exploded at him, but for some reason he didn’t feel like dropping this. “I saw the way he was looking at you, and when any guy looks at a girl like the way this Ben person looked at you, it only means one thing.”

“Oh, shut up, Mark!” Mattie said impatiently. “Does everything have to be dirty with you? What is wrong with you anyway? Are you trying to piss me off? Because it’s working, okay? You can just stop it now.” She gave him an angry look before continuing. “I don’t see why you should give a damn anyway, Mark. What business is it of yours?”

Mark looked at Mattie in surprise. “What do you mean, what business is it of mine? You’re my best friend. And it doesn’t go over well for me when I see random sleazy guys eye you all over like they just want to eat you up. Especially when you’re wearing something like that.” Mattie gasped and there was a shocked silence all around until a very nervous looking Bryan decided to take it upon himself to break it.

“Erm, yeah, I’ve been meaning to tell you by the way Mattie, you look smashing tonight, really good.” He nodded vigorously and gave her a thumbs up, which she ignored. Mattie’s eyes were a steely gray as they fixed on Mark’s defiant face.

“How could you say something like that?” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. Slowly, the expression in her eyes turned from anger to hurt, and Mark immediately regretted everything he had just said. “I can’t stay here and listen to this. Not from you. I can’t – I can’t –” Mattie stopped, unable to say anything more as the tears started working their way up to her eyes. Suddenly, she grabbed her bag from off the bar and stood up, much to the surprise of everyone. “I’m going back to the hotel,” she managed to say. “If any of you need me, that’s where I’ll be.” Mattie turned on her heel abruptly, forcing her way through the crowded club. It took Mark only a split second to collect himself before he got up and took off after her. Shane groaned as they all watched Mark’s retreating back with dejected expressions.

“Does NOTHING I say make it through that thick head of his?” he said in frustration. Shane turned to Kian and Bryan. “Didn’t I tell him? Didn’t I tell him not to act like some kind of annoying overbearing big brother?” Kian and Bryan nodded solemnly. “You’d think we had given him fair enough warning but does he bother to listen? Nooooo. And now he’s gone and pissed her off, just like I knew he would.” Shane sighed in defeat.

“Shit!” Kian cursed in frustration. “How in hell are we gonna fix this? Do you know, this is going to set us back weeks! We worked so hard to get to this point and now Feehily’s gone and wrecked it all.”

“Lads, there are some things that those two are just going to have to work out by themselves,” Georgina put in. “We can’t do everything for them. And who knows how this might turn out? It might be a good thing for them both. Maybe a good row is just what they need to clear the air a bit.”

“You know, a lot of times when couples are fighting, they just end up snogging,” Bryan piped up helpfully. Nicky gave him a look.

“Somehow I doubt that’s going to happen tonight Bry,” he said wryly. “And Mark and Mattie are far from being a couple right now. I don’t think there’s going to be any snogging for a while yet.”

“Oh.” Bryan’s face fell.

“Ah, don’t worry, mate,” Kian said, clapping Bryan on the back. “If we have anything to do with it, I predict there’s going to be a good round of snogging between those two before this tour is over.”

“Yeah?” Bryan said hopefully.

“Oh yeah. Are you kidding me? Fights like that don’t happen between two people who are ‘just friends’ or even ‘just best friends’.” Kian nodded wisely. “There’s some major heat between those two. Something’s bound to happen. And when it does, we’ll be here to make sure it goes in the right direction.”

“Oh, Ben,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

He smiled understandingly. “Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.” His eyes looked into her own troubled ones searchingly. “The more important question is, are you?” Ben hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I – I saw you arguing with that guy at the bar.” Mattie stiffened but he took her hand and, noticing that it felt a bit cold, began to rub it gently with his own. Although had it been anyone else, Mattie would have been a bit insulted that he thought he knew her well enough to touch her that way, but for some reason, she trusted Ben, and his gesture was appreciated. Mattie managed a dim smile.

“I’m alright,” she told him unconvincingly. Mattie saw that he wasn’t believing one bit of it, but she cut him off before he could say anything. “I’m fine, really, Ben. I’m just a bit…out of sorts. But I’ll be fine when I get my bearings.” Just then, Mattie noticed he had his jacket on. “Oh, are you leaving now?’ she asked him.

“What? Oh, yeah, I am,” Ben admitted. “My friends are kinda partied out so we’re calling it tonight. But I can stay and talk, if you want?”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” Mattie said hastily. In actuality, she did desperately want someone to talk to…but she just didn’t know if she wanted to divulge what had just happened to someone who was practically a complete stranger.

Ben saw that she was uncertain and hesitated a bit before speaking again. “Mattie…I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m a good person to talk to, if you need it.”

In spite of how she was feeling at that moment, Mattie gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand, which was still holding on to hers. “That honestly means a lot to me.”

Ben gave her a shy smile before holding up Mattie’s hand so she was looking at the number he had written on the back. “Remember, you’ve got my number so don’t hesitate to call if you ever feel like it. I really mean that, I’m not just saying it.” He grinned at her. “I think I would definitely like to get to know someone like you better.” Mattie smiled again. It had been a while since she had met anyone so sweet and charming…unlike some other people she could think of at that moment. Ben lifted his other hand and tucked a lock of hair behind Mattie’s ear. She looked at him, surprised at the way he softly ran his fingers over her hair before gently caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. To Mattie’s shock, a tingle ran through her body when he touched her skin. She stood wordlessly as Ben brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it slowly, not taking his eyes off her face. Finally, he released her hand and without another word, he turned and walked out of the club, leaving a dazed girl behind him.

Mark sighed heavily when his search turned up nothing. He figured that he’d take a cab back to the hotel and try to find Mattie there and headed towards the exit. And that’s when he saw her. But she wasn’t alone. Mark’s eyes narrowed when he saw that that Ben guy was with her, and they narrowed even further when he saw that he was holding her hand. Mark felt like going over there and showing that guy what he could do with his hand, but stopped short when he noticed the way Mattie was looking at him. Mark stood rooted to the ground as he saw Ben run his fingers through Mattie’s hair. His own fingers clenched when he saw him touch her cheek so tenderly and his jaw dropped when he saw Ben kiss Mattie’s hand. But what made his stomach twist painfully inside was the way Mattie was looking at him, like he was the only person she could see. And even after Ben had gone, Mark remained rooted to his spot on the floor, ignoring everyone else who was knocking into him or pushing around him. He felt lost, like he didn’t know what to do. He thought he should go to her, try to apologize for what had happened earlier, but as he looked at Mattie, who was standing with her back to him, her figure silhouetted against the lights, and gazing dreamily at Ben’s receding form until he was no longer in sight, Mark couldn’t seem to bring himself to do it. He tried to order his legs to move, but they refused. ”What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked himself. “Go to her! Tell her what an idiot you’ve been, tell her that you’re sorry, tell her…tell her that…” Mark’s thoughts trailed off when Mattie turned suddenly and saw him.

The pensive look on her face disappeared quickly as she hardened her expression. Mattie looked at Mark for a moment before turning around again and heading towards the exit. Finally, Mark collected himself and ran after her. He took Mattie by the arm when he reached her, and she tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let go.

“I don’t have anything to say to you Mark, let me go,” Mattie said as she tried to extract her arm from his grasp.

“No, I won’t,” he said firmly. “At least not until I’ve got a chance to apologize.”

Mattie stared at Mark for a long while before she finally acquiesced. “Fine then. Apologize.” She pulled away from them and crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him expectantly. “Well?”

“I- I-“ Mark faltered, not knowing quite where to begin. To be honest, he was still a bit troubled with what he had just witnessed between Mattie and Ben, but he wisely said nothing about it, knowing that if he did, she would have a fit and go off in a flying rage, and that was the last thing he wanted her to do. “I’m really sorry,” he said finally. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know I hurt you, and I’m so sorry Mattie. I can’t tell you how badly I feel.”

Mattie narrowed her eyes. “How badly you feel? How do you think I feel, Mark? What you said hurt so much. How could you say something like that to me? I have never in my life felt so dirty, or so cheap, but what tore me apart was that it came from someone that I would give up the world for.” Mattie’s voice broke and she looked at him pleadingly, tears sparkling in her eyes. “That’s what hurt the most, Mark Don’t you understand? Don’t you have any idea of how important you are to me, how much you mean to me? And how much it hurts when you look at me and I can see the disappointment in your eyes, knowing that I have done nothing to deserve it?” She pressed a hand over her mouth and turned her face away as a tear escaped from her eye and made its way slowly down her cheek. Seeing that tear run down her face was almost more than he could bear and it broke his heart to see it. The sight of Mattie crying always tore him to pieces but what burned inside his soul was that he knew that this time, he was the cause of her tears. Silently, Mark cursed himself for the way he had reacted earlier. He would have given anything in the world to have that moment back, to take away everything he had said and done that had hurt her so badly.

“Mattie,” Mark said softly as he reached for her. To his shock, she backed away from him, as if refusing to let him touch her.

“Don’t Mark,” she choked out. “I’m angry and I’m hurting, and I don’t know what I’ll do to you if you come near me.”

“I’m sorry,” he managed to say.

“Sorry? Sorry? That word doesn’t mean a damn thing to me right now, Mark. Have you even any idea of what you’ve done? You basically just labeled me a slut in front of everybody.”

“I didn’t-” Mark began, but Mattie cut him off.

“Oh, you may think that you didn’t, you may think that you were just trying tell me what you think is ‘best’ for me, but that’s how it came off, Mark.” Mattie glared at him angrily. “God, Mark don’t you think before you start saying things? I don’t think I’ve ever felt as low as you made me feel back there, like I’m some kind of voracious predator ready to rub up against the first person who throws a suggestive look my way. I can’t believe you, Mark.”

“I was just trying to warn you-” Mark tried to say before she interrupted him again.

“Well you don’t have to bother,” Mattie retorted. “You had nothing to worry about. I highly doubt that Ben was the kind of person that needed warning against. And even if he was Mark, don’t you think I would have put him in his place before he even tried anything near what you suggested he was doing? Did you think that I was so weak that I would just fall to his every whim? Do you not even know me at all anymore?” Mattie’s indignant expression turned to a pained one. “I’m not a little girl Mark. Not anymore. I can take care of myself. Is it so hard for you to see that I’ve grown up and I don’t need you looking over my shoulder? I don’t need you hovering over me, telling me what to do or who to stay away from. Don’t you see Mark? I just want you to trust that I can do what’s right for me, I want you to know that I’m more than what you’ve always known me to be, I want you to see me as something more than the girl that you grew up with-” Mattie stopped short right there, realizing what she had just said.

Mark looked at her, his blue eyes wide in uncertainty. “What?”

Mattie stared back at him, a slight panic overtaking her. She drew in a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She was scared out of her mind, hoping to God that Mark didn’t think that she had meant… What had she meant? That had slipped out almost without her knowing it. Mattie willed herself to calm down, or she knew she might say something else she would regret. Her eyes inadvertently filled with tears again. Damn it, she thought in frustration. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Mattie clenched her fists tightly, afraid to look into Mark’s face, afraid of what she would see there. Finally she decided she couldn’t stay another moment and turned around blindly to leave.

“Wait – Mattie!” Mark stepped after her in a panic, grabbing her arm. Mattie turned back around to face him. “Please, don’t leave,” he said desperately. “We’ve got to talk about this.”

“There isn’t anything to talk about.” Mattie tried to step back, avoiding his eyes, but he wasn’t letting her go.

“Like hell there isn’t!” Mark argued. “What do you mean, ‘there’s nothing to talk about’? There’s too damn much to talk about. And I have no idea where to begin.” He looked deep into Mattie’s wide, scared eyes and let out an unsteady breath. “Mattie, I don’t want to fight with you. If we could just talk-”

“Oh for chrissake, Mark!” Mattie burst out. Mark stared at her in surprise. “I don’t want to talk! I’m sick of talking! It seems that all I ever do now is talk! All we ever do is talk! Why can’t something just happen? Why can’t – why can’t – ” Mattie broke off again, at a loss for words. Mark was still looking at her with a stunned expression.

“What – what do you want – to happen?”

Shit, Mattie cursed herself. I’ve gone and done it again. Can’t you keep your freaking mouth shut?! Mattie passed a hand over her forehead and looked at Mark with an expression of helpless frustration.

“Nothing,” she said finally. “I have no idea what I’m saying. It’s late and I’m tired and I just want to go back to the hotel and forget about tonight.” Mattie tried to turn around again, but Mark’s hand was still holding on to her arm. “Let go of me, Mark.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

Mark’s hand slid down her arm until he had entwined his fingers with hers. Mattie gave him a startled look as he gently pulled her toward him.

“Mark, what are you doing?”

“Dance with me.”

“What?” Mattie took her eyes away from his face and looked around the club. It seemed the lights had gotten lower and around them, couples were dancing together. The DJ had started to play a familiar song – “With or Without You” by U2. A slow song. “I don’t want to,” she replied stubbornly.

“Mattie, just shut up and dance with me.” Mark pulled her closer until he could get his arms around her and started moving slowly to the music.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I’ll wait for you

Mattie stiffened in Mark’s arms as he danced with her. She wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. She didn’t know if she was angry anymore. She didn’t even know if she was still hurt. All she felt was vulnerable and defenseless. All her life Mattie had hated feeling like that, feeling like she didn’t have any power over what was happening to her life. But at that moment, she didn’t care. She was too tired to fight. She didn’t feel like being the strong one right now. Not tonight.

Slight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I’ll wait without you
With or without you
With or without you

With a defeated sigh, Mattie finally allowed herself to relax in Mark’s embrace. She leaned against him for support, resting her cheek against his chest, feeling him breathing against her. Mark rested his chin on Mattie’s head and closed his eyes, his arms tightening protectively around her waist, and they moved together in silence.

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

“Mattie?” Mark murmured against her hair.

“Hmm?” she said softly.

“I’m sorry. For everything.”

Mattie bit her lip when she heard the sincerity in his voice. “I know,” she whispered.

“I won’t ever hurt you like that again,” he promised.

“I know.”

“Do you – do you forgive me?”

“I do.”

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

Mark raised his eyes to the ceiling and thanked God silently. He let out a sigh of relief and hugged Mattie closer to him. She responded by circling her arms around his neck. For some reason, the feel of her fingers on the back of his neck made a shiver go through his whole body.

My hands are tied
My body bruised
You got me
With nothing to win
And nothing left to lose

They moved slowly together as the music played on. Mattie’s fingers began working their way up into Mark’s hair, and she massaged the back of his head gently. Mark closed his eyes, feeling tingles race up and down his spine. His head leaned down until he was low enough that Mattie could feel his warm breath against her bare shoulder. Her eyes opened wide when she felt Mark’s lips brush lightly against her skin. Had she imagined it? But no, there it was again. His lips. Her skin. She had definitely felt it. Slowly, her shocked fingers began to cease their action.

“Don’t stop,” Mark whispered against her neck. Immediately, Mattie fingers began again, only too glad to be able to run through his hair. Mark’s lips traveled softly up her neck, then over her ear. His touch of his lips was so light it was like a butterfly, or a bird’s wing. All the same, Mattie’s heart began to beat triple its pace. She honestly thought that she was just going to melt into a puddle. Mattie bit her lip and her fingers curled around the back of his head as she closed her eyes again. Mark placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head and stroked her hair with one hand. Mattie leaned back and opened her eyes to look him in the face. The look in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat. There was something in that intense blueness – a new look, a new tenderness…a new desire… Mattie didn’t know whether to feel completely scared or deliriously euphoric. She had wanted him to look at her this way for so long. But she still wasn’t sure if she was ready to give away her heart in this one moment when it had taken her so long to heal it. As Mattie stared into Mark’s eyes, her first instinct was to pull away. But one word flashed into her mind. Elinor. Mattie stiffened as that thought entered her consciousness. She had made herself a promise, and she wouldn’t back down. Mattie steeled herself and gazed more intensely into Mark’s eyes. If it was going to happen, it was going to happen. She was ready now, ready to give up her heart. She wouldn’t turn away. It was all up to Mark now.

Chapter 21

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