Cool Jokes
A Pakistani In New York
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs
over and starts fighting with the dog.
He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are
a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
" Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!" The next day the newspapers says:
"Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are
being explored"
Last Wish
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved
all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.
He loved money more than just about anything.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen.
When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of
the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her
friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close
the casket, the wife said,
"Wait just a minute!"
She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money
in there with your husband!"
She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian.
I can't go back on my word.
I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.
"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!!!!?
"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a cheque."
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What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play.
He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
] His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next
time you'll get a talking role!"
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Local Call
Queen Elizabeth, Clinton & Sharoon died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss my region England. I want to call England and see
how everybody is doing there. "
She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much
do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Clinton was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United
States I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do
I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his
chair.
Sharoon was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Israil and he
talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well,
devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Twenty dollars".
Sharoon is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"
The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's
local".
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Muslims
There were two Christians travelling on a plane. Sitting behind them was a
Muslims. As they realized that a Muslims is travelling with them. They started
talking loudly with each other.
James said to Tim.
Tim where r u going, hopefully to Dubai.
Tim said Nah
There are too many muslims, streets and roods are flooded with them.
James smiles and said then u must be going to Iran.
Tim said r u mad, Muslims in Iran are more fanatic and mad then Dubai.
Muslim who was listening to them could not bear it and said hey u both go to
hell, for sure there would be no Muslim.
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Technical Support
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and
their customers.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document,
but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the
same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"