The Rules

Things you MUST do to truely be one of us

Here are the rules you well rested cretins don't know about:

• 1. Sleep deprivation. Whether self induced or natural, sleep deprivation is the biggest part of being an insomniac.
• 2. If you get more than 14 hours of sleep a week then you are not worthy and you disgust us. Piss off.
• 3. An intense like for all things sweet. Candy, soda, cake, doughnuts and the almighty OREOS.
• 4. Knowledge of infomercials and the people who host them.
• 5. Reruns. If you like Get Smart, Happy days, Lavern & Shirly, Gilligan's Island, Mayberry RFD, the Wonder Years and Three's Company you might be considered for the club
• 6. You must have video tapes or DVDs of movies that you've seen at least 14 times because you have nothing else to do at 4am.
• 7. Must have seen Jerry Springer at least once. Bonus points if you have a crazy relative who was actually on the show.
• 8. You must have an intense hatred for mullets and mock them at every opportunity. This has less to do with insomnia and more to do with our particular political agenda.
• 9. You must have at least two Instant messanger services in order to chat with your important friends in places like Poland.
• 10. You must not be involved in a fraternity.
• 11. Must have an obsure hobby such as clipping photos from magazines or collecting interesting/bizzare websites.
• 12. You must know at least one late-night employee of a Wal-mart or Super K.
• 13. You must concoct and play out mischevious plans.

If you think that you are qualified to join our world-famous ranks, visit the charter member page.