Now, I know that you all get monumentually bored while you're awake, because
well, you've *been* awake for god knows how long. You've done everything, maybe
even twice. You're sick of movies, can't rent another because every place is
closed-
and those infomercials are just getting lamer every time you watch them. This is
a carefully compiled list of places that exist throughout the country and can be
appreciated by all. Now, where you live may have more or less than what's on our
list, but it's going to share at least some of these.
Wal-Mart-
The first place on our list. The employees there really don't give a fuck.
Hell, sometimes they even get in on the games. This is the favorite of
insomniacs everywhere because it has everything, absolutely everything to
play with and amuse oneself with. From snack foods to women's lengere. From
scooters to guns. You can indulge yourself in almost every way imaginable.
Games: 1. randomly filling carts and leaving them scattered about the store. 2.
Placing obsure items in the baskets of other shoppers (if there are any) 3.
having bike races. 4. Dressing the maniquins. 5. Dressing yourself and then
randomly
depositing the clothing in various parts of the store. 6. Singing over the
intercom. 7. coercing employees into a game of basketball. 8. isle canoeing. 9.
Handicap scooter rallys.
Warning- wal-mart has a habbit of randomly closing. We havn't put our finger on
the reasons for this phenominon, but it occurs.
Super K-
The second place on our list. The employees here tend to be a little more
uptight. Occasionally they don't get pissed of at the mischeif, but more often
they tell you to cool it. If you go in more than twice a week they get testy.
They have
relitively the same products, but with the crankiness of the employees less of
the games can be played. You have to be quieter about the deviant behavior.
Games: 1. Leave a trail of products in your wake. 2. take a bunch of CDs and
mix them into the movie section. 3. Turn on every radio in the electronics
department, tune them to different stations, and turn them up as loud as they
go. (best to
have a partner in this one) 4. Ride the toys outside the wrong way. 5. Take off
your shoes and discover the art of "Linolium Skating"
Warning- Super K is worse at random closings, they staff is bitchy, and entire
sections of the store tend to be closed off at a time.
Safeway-
Now, you might ask- What's the deal? A supermarket is no place to have fun. On
the contrary my good friends. One can amuse oneself in many ways in
supermarkets. You just have to be creative. Usually in Safeway people don't care
as long as you
don't break shit, and as long as you clean up after yourself. Which leads to a
lot of potential.
Games: 1. Tie balloons around the store 2. grapefruit bowling. (consists of 1
grapefruit and 10 plastic PLASTIC water bottles.) 3. pots and pans orchestra
(needs 2 or more people) 4. Convince someone to pretend they're a cat. 5. Use
the books/
magazine isle as your personal library. 6. Play a game of catch with an
oversized plastic ball. 7. Pretend you're prom queen and use a strainer for your
crown and get yourself a nice boquet of celery. Have a friend push you around in
a cart.
Circle K-
Not much to do here but attempt to scare the clerk. Don't do anything that you
think might get you arrested, just go in real hyper and buy obsure items such as
condoms, a can of car oil and some macaroni. Get creative.
Games: Buy your food have a picnic in the store.
Warning- You will eventually get yelled at and kicked out. Bide your time.
Don't push it.
7-11-
See Circle K.
Universal games:
While all the games are technically universal, and you can do any of them in
any of the places, I have special things i like to spread around. All which
require good acting abilities, you HAVE to stay in charicter.
1. Pretend to be mentally handicapped. 2. Convince a friend to pretend to be
retarded, then lose them in the store so they have to ask someone for help in
finding you. 3. Be a redneck. 4. Be white trash. 5. Ask a LOT of questions.