Albert Inkling and the Magic Shop of Wonders (An Online Fiction... still with pictures!!) |
| Besides the pen, the only other items the before mentioned table was keeping aloft were a few blank pieces of paper arranged in a nice little stack. On one of these sheets Albert wrote the words �CAN YOU READ THIS?� in large letters, chuckling to himself for the silliness of this note. He then held the page up to the mirror, and there, in perfectly readable, non-backwards English, was the word �YES� scribbled on the reflection�s paper. Albert took this as a hint that he should probably stop playing with the mirror, and moved on, dropping his sheet of paper and letting it float gently to the ground.
That�s when Albert saw yet another object that caught his eye: a jeweled rubber band. The band itself was a deep blue color, but the diamond shaped jewels that ran along the outside of it were of many different shades. It was about this time that two voices began battling it out in Albert�s head: his logic versus his curiosity. It was a glorious battle utilizing many sharp and shiny weapons, but, in the end, Albert�s curiosity won out. He reached for the shiny object, but just before he touched it, the rubber band sprang to life and violently attacked his right hand, wrapping itself tightly around all five fingers and binding them together. Albert began tugging at the rubber band furiously, but it would not come off, and more than once he felt a small electrical jolt surge through his body that he was almost sure had originated from his attacker. Though, he had no clue as to how. �Annoying, isn�t it?� said a calm voice from somewhere behind him. Albert spun in place to find a five-foot even, nineteen-year-old boy with a pasty white complexion and fiery red hair. He wore a robe that was solid yellow. Albert quickly tried to hide his right hand behind his back, thought better of it, and reproduced his hand, holding it up for the boy to see. �It attacked me,� Albert said. �It did not attack you," the boy replied, rolling his eyes and taking a few steps closer to Albert. �This, my friend, is a glongle-topper.� He grabbed Albert�s raised hand and lifted it higher for Albert to see, as if this customer was not yet aware that the circulation in his hand was being cut off by a rabid, jeweled rubber band. �See, the thing about a glongle-topper is that it is a gag object.� �Well, how do you get it off?� Albert asked, trying to speed things along before his right hand fell off. �It�s a simple matter really. All you have to do is give me three dollars for it, and I�ll tell you how to take if off.� �What?!� Albert screamed. �Look,� the boy continued. �You and I both know you were trying to steal it while no one was minding the shop, right?� �I was not!� Albert bellowed in anger. �Oh, really?� the boy replied. �Well, let�s just go to the security tape. Ansil!� The boy turned and yelled at the ceiling when he said this last word that Albert did not understand. A few seconds later, a small SPIDER descended from the ceiling and dangled by a web between the boy and Albert. The spider was not more than an inch long and solid black in color. The sort-of-odd thing about it was that the spider had two large white eyes instead of eight small black ones. The really-odd thing about it was that the spider spoke! �YOU RANG?� it said. �Ansil,� the boy answered. �Show me security recordings from when this gentleman entered until when I came back into the room.� To Albert�s surprise, the spider closed one eye, faced a wall, and projected from its open eye images that looked exactly like SURVEILANCE CAMERA RECORDINGS. The only difference was that the camera kept crawling along the ceiling to stay with Albert as he moved through the store. Normal security cameras don�t do that. It was about this point that Albert wished he could find just one normal thing in this place. Anything he could recognize or understand, no matter how small it was, would have been welcome. He felt as if he was adrift in the middle of an ocean of weird, and there was nothing he could grab onto that could help him stay afloat. �Ah-ha!� the boy cried when the security recordings showed Albert being attacked by the glongle-topper. �See! You were trying to steal it! The security recordings never lie!� �I was not trying to steal it!� Albert yelled back, trying to keep his anger in check. � I just wanted to take a closer look at it! Now, can you please get this thing off of me? My right hand is passing out!� The boy considered this for a while. �Alright, fine,� he replied. He then turned to face the spider. �Thanks, Ansil.� �YO HO!� came the spider�s answer. Ansil turned and climbed back up his web to the store�s ceiling where he quickly became indistinguishable amongst the shadows. The boy turned back to Albert. �You gotta love security spiders,� he said. �Uh huh... Could you just get this thing off?� Albert asked calmly while every ounce of his being was begging him to scream at the top of his lungs. The rubber band was really beginning to dig into his skin. �Yeah, yeah,� the boy replied, sounding none too concerned. � I have to warn you though, it�s not getting a glongle-topper on your hand that�s the gag, it�s getting it off. So, just stay still� this�ll only hurt a� um� lot.� "What?" << Previous Next >> |
