I-O staffer Em also behaved out of character by arriving early. Fortunately she was able to catch the UPS man, despite his casual calming of the groupies, and got her picture taken with the studly man in brown, then pretended to chase his truck as he drove away.
I-O favorite Craig Billington showed up pimpin' in what was first identified as a "piece of junk" by I-O staffer dubs, but was later corrected to be a 1966 Mustang Convertible. However, Biller was unable to get further than the parking lot, and the car required examination by Tim Hunter on its engine. Obviously nothing seemed wrong, other than the fact dubs could not recognize a classic car if she rear-ended one, so Hunter and Biller ventured into P.O.
I-O staffers were not alone outside; a group of very excited young females was also present in the parking lot. I-O staff doubted the extent of their hockey knowledge, for they determined a guy walking into the locker room was a player if someone else asked them to sign an autograph. I-O staff highly enjoyed the arrival then dissing of the girls by Jaromir Jagr. Jeff Halpern also snuck behind the girls while they turned to protest the Jagr dissing (Author's note: how does it feel!?). Halpern didn't escape enough, though, for the I-O staffers heard the following: "Ohhh.. he's SO much cuter in person!" then I-O added a coughed, "Manwhore" in response.
I-O staffer jazzy was the last to arrive, but had more than enough time with the rest of the staff to pounce on Steve Konowalchuk when he showed up surprisingly. While autographing a picture of himself and dubs, he questioned the fact she asked him to make it out "To Brad," but kindly obligued. After a brief conference meeting, I-O staff decided she should've added, "Yeah, that was my name BEFORE the operation."
Joe Reekie was in rare form - other than his typical 'slow motion' or 'dead' - and delighted the I-O staff when he maliciously attacked Adam Oates with his stick. However, Adam Oates proved that he had overdosed on his own mediacation (Viagra) by getting it up too high - someone should inform the man that "roof" means the top of the net, not the actual rink roof.
Someone must've slipped crack into Craig Billington's coffee this morning, for he was also in rare form today. After trying to fight with Trent Whitfield, he stoned a fancy shot from Peter Bondra, snapped up the rebound, and rasied the puck in his glove like he'd found the cure for cancer, a la Patrick Roy. The audience took his chicken-like arm flapping to mean not that his deodorant had run out, but he demanded cheers for his greatness; they responded with a mixture of cheers and hearty laughter/mocking.
In a one-on-one squirmish, Joe Sacco nicely stripped Halpern of the puck; but we think Halpern is used to being stripped often.
Webhead eaglehaslanded unrolled both the Reekieluv! and Halpern/Zubrus banners. However, it was highly doubtful that Zubrus understood it, for it was observed that he mouthed the words "my butt?".
I-O staff abandoned dubs for the remainder of the practice, along with pretty much everyone except Jagr's Dad and a smattering of Caps fans. However Steve Kolby remained so there appeared to be no visable dent in the mass of bodies leaving the stands. The only observation - other than speculation that she remained only because Trent Whitfield was still on the ice (Author's Note: a vicious rumor denied by both sides.)- a drill designed to help the rookies "get it up" proved taht they were also incapable of such. Big Chris Simon stepped in and showed them how it should've been done, while Joe Sacco failed miserably.
Joe Reekie was painful to watch as he cut corners. However, "Reekielaps" are growing in popularity with the team, as Sacco, Jagr, Halpern, and Zettler followed his example.
Halpern and Whitfield cannot score on an open net, though Halpern hit a post once.. almost.
No surprise that Joe Reekie was the first Capital to leave practice. However, the real surprise was for him - as webhead Cilla presented him with a lovelier-than-life portrait, which he misunderstood as being not only OF him, but also FOR him.
Eagle got her banner signed by both Zubrus and Halpern, proclaiming they should sign "the butt part." Zubrus seemed to think eagle WAS a crazy banner lady ("Umm, sure") , but Halpern provided a laugh and said it was one of the best ones he'd seen (Manwhore). Eagle had the nerve to admit later that Jeff smelled good; the I-O staff took her word because it would've involved sniffing him.
I-O staff expressed its appreciation to Biller for the sticks by autographing a picture of the staff with him holding up the "Viva la Biller!" sign with the same expressions he'd written on our sticks. Biller seemed appreciative of the picture when he recognized who was delivering it to him, after he'd shoved his way through half the other fans. He then went to working on his car for an undetermined length of time, including with Sylvain Cote, pausing to explain I-O staffer jazzy as "Remember those signs?" when she took a picture of them working on the car.
Without the aid of center Trevor Linden as a driver, Jeff Halpern was reduced to hauling his own ass in the green GMC Yukon.
Jaromir Jagr fled from the premisis at the sight of the vast number of fans asking for a piece of him. However, he remained calm, waved for his father to pick him up, and jumped into the getaway Mercedes as quickly as his $77 million dollar feet could carry him. Fortunately for the I-O staff, this quickly disbanded the crowd of fans, as we were left to pick through scraps of players.
I-O staffer jazzy and dubs stalked the silver bad-ass minivan-ers Peat (who assured us, "It's just a rental, we don't actually own it."), Corrinet and Pettinger. After assurring them of being 'true fans", remembering them from training camp, jazzy and dubs got their autographs and counted their blessing that the silver bad-ass minivan did not leave bad-ass treadmarks across their backs.
Newcomers Jakub Cutta, who falls in the "adorable but cradle-robbing" category and Dean Melanson seemed excited that fans not only had remained by the time they left, but also chased them in the parking lot to the red bad-ass minivan.
I-O staffer Em: "So.. pimpin' in the bad-ass red minivan?"
Deano: "Yeah, pimpin' aaaaaain't easy."
HONORABLE MENTION:Tim Hunter, who assured us he'd watched Em's tape repeatedly but could not determine the identity of the mystery man.
HONORABLE MENTION: Jeff Halpern, just because.