disclaimer: excessive fawning over goalies in this issue is the sole responsibility of Jazz, and should not be attributed to other I/O staff.
Jazzy had other fish...er, goalies to fry this a.m., however. She brought with her a very special 16x20 color photo of Olie in action to have signed for a dear friend's birthday. Upon her arrival, Jazz observed equipment guys lugging out trunks of gear, and walked over to inquire whether Olie had arrived yet. The poor man looked at her with one of those looks usually reserved for the psychotic homeless guys and said, "Well um....NO...Practice isn't for 2 1/2 hours." Jazz ignored the insulting tone, smiled, and sweetly remarked, "I just wanted to catch him before practice, to have something signed." Jazz also ignored the fact that this moron, not one of the regular guys, had also given her the wrong time for practice. Instead, she left him shaking his head, got herself a cuppa Joe, and settled in to wait.
It wasn't long before the target of the morning arrived. The always affable Olie stopped and chatted with Jazzy for several minutes. He reported that he and his ankle are definitely feeling better. He also signed the aforementioned photo with a lovely personal message for Jazzy's friend.
Jeff Halpern drove up and hobbled into the locker room. The poor baby looks like he's really in pain, leading Jazz to wonder why he is driving himself around with a bum knee. You'd think Mr. Jagr could loan Jeffy a driver - he seems to have several to spare.
Calle Jo arrived with Simon driving him, but then he held the door FOR Si. Um, hello - Si? Wouldn't ya like to hold the door for the guy with the injured arm?
Another member of the Walking Wounded Corps, Zubie, limped from his truck to the door. Dear readers, I/O wants you to know that our Caps are just as painful to watch off the ice as on.
Both Oates and Biller showed up in their suits. Ahhhh, yes..... travel days are the BEST! Both of the handsomely attired gents waved a friendly hello on their way inside.
While this strategy session was going on, Jazz was joined by Webhead Lolli, who brought her "Caps Cookies" for the boys. Jazzy admits to being quite impressed with the little hockey players, one for each Cap. Spying #29 in the box, Jazz suggested that Lolli eat that one before giving the rest to the team. The two then wandered over to Olie's end of the ice to search out more Webheads, and were delighted to meet ReekietheRottie, along with her familial entourage. Her niece, Toren, was absolutely star struck to have Olie within 20 feet of her seat. Jazzy assured her that she completely understood the reaction. Surely, Toren's obvious discernment in her choice of favorite players is a testament to her aunt's positive influence.
After the initial warm-up drills, Wilson conducted a rather lengthy lecture on defense, using several football analogies for illustrative purposes. I/O is unsure how much of this may have been lost on the European players. Actually, Jazz isn't sure she completely understands the analogy, either, and wonders whether this is why our players appear so confused during the games.
Peter Bondra made up his own skating drill, weaving in and out of the skaters standing in line. He continued his playful mood by skating in on Biller, who stood right up to him (nose to chest). Bondra turned and skated back toward center ice, with Biller in hot pursuit, like a terrier after an intruder. Bonzai unintentionally got back at Biller later by sending a slap shot that carromed off Biller's inner thigh, sending the netminder down into a heap on the ice. Bondra skated in and hovered over the wounded Biller till he was able to regain his position. To show that he was all right, Biller went into class clown mode, stopping the airborne shots "doggie style", with one pad raised in a "peeing position".
With the emphasis on defense and PK drills, Tim Army freely dropped f-bombs on the boys. In fact, the only thing heard more than f-bombs were the compliments on Biller's stops. Tim Army apparently hasn't gotten the date straight for National Biller Day.
There was enough pipe ringing going on to make PO sound like a practice facility for a steel drum band. Dima appears to relish his chance to take Whitfield's place, as he cannot score on Biller, either.
When Olie finally came out, poor Toren was frozen in place. Jazz has "witnessed" this phenomenon before - it is known as the OMG Trance. ReekietheRottie had to take Toren by the hand, and walk her over to the big guy. He spoke gently to the poor, nervous child, signed her memorabilia, and bid her farewell. Although speechless in his presence, Toren had a smile as big as Peter Bondra's when she trotted back to Jazz, exclaiming, "HE'S SO NICE!!!!"
Peat was mobbed by his cult followers, who blocked the parking lot taking photos, and caused a traffic jam for Olie. (I/O wishes he had laid on his horn!) Peat apparently enjoyed the attention so much that he went back inside so he could make another grand exit.
When Adam Oates came out, he signed a few autographs and had his photo taken with a child. Hockeycat noticed that he didn't lean down to the child's height for the photo, and mentioned this to Jazzy. The I/O staffer reminded her that, at his age, it's hard to lean over at all.
Ivan Ciernik came outside, and Jazz welcomed him to DC and inquired how he wanted his name pronounced, I-van or Ee-vahn? Ciernik stated that he didn't care. WHAT? How can you not care if people don't pronounce your name right, Jazz wanted to know? Finally, he told Jazzy that the correct pronounciation is "Ee-vahn". That wasn't so hard, was it? Jazy would like "Ee-vahn" to get some "back-bone".
The puck bunnies were out in force, mobbing Peat, Simon, Zubrus, and Colin Forbes. It seemed the cold got to many of them before Jeff Halpern made his way outside, as few fans were left. As mentioned earlier, Jeff is in obvious pain, but upon inquiry, said the knee is improving. When asked if surgery looked less likely, he said he has to be re-evaluated next week. Jazz advised Jeff that "We're pulling for you", which he acknowledged with both a thanks AND a smile. Yes, folks, he even waved as he drove away. Perhaps the injury is having a mellowing effect on Jeffy?.........Nah, probably the pain killers.
JJ, the erstwhile "athlete", was chauffered to the front door this morning. As he stepped from the car, a hairy bare leg and ankle were visible above the Bruno Maggli loafers. Note to JJ - You are NOT OJ.
Niko should lose the socks and sandles look on travel days. Definite faux pas.
HONORABLE MENTION: Colin Forbes, for being extremely personable to everyone from Old Ladies to puck bunnies to children.
WHO'S SNOT: The early morning equipment guys..
HONORABLE MENTION: Nope, not gonna say Jeff Halpern today, just because.