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Writing
�The Art of Flustering�
By Alice D.
I will begin this with the common question I get upon this topic. The question being, �How do I outfluster a flusterer?� The answer is really quite simple. You must remain unflustered. Flusterers are quite similar to bullies and therefore if you simply remain unflustered, you will cause the flusterer to become considerably flustered. For example, if someone, oh say, Mr. Snow, enjoys flustering a student, oh say, Alice, all she needs to do is simply remain unflustered and the shock of this upon our flusterer, Mr. Snow, will be so great he will become quite flustered himself. Now I shall change subjects and discuss how to fluster an unsuspecting flusteree. We will use our �non-existent� friends, Alice and Mr. Snow as examples once again. Alice has succeeded at flustering Mr. Snow by remaining unflustered, but his flustering attempts are getting quite on her nerves. She wishes to fluster him unsuspectingly. Now, one day she walks into Mr. Snow�s classroom to discuss a project. Mr. Snow, again, makes his futile attempts at flustering Alice. Alice, by remaining in the absence of fluster, flusters Mr. Snow, but this is not enough to make the flusterer cease and pause. So, she accuses Mr. Snow of being flustered. Mr. Snow is so flustered by such an accusation; he can hardly keep his wit. However, primitive as he and his Macintosh computers are, he manages to keep it and retorts, �I�m not flustered!� Now such a denial was unexpectant, but Alice being quite the clever one, she comes back with my next topic: repetition. She repeatedly remarks that he was indeed flustered and begins to tap a desk. By now, Mr. Snow is so extremely flustered, he takes his evil Apple computers and runs screaming out the door in flusteration. Thus Alice has succeeded in remaining unflustered, outflustered her flusterer, and has had a pretty good laugh at it all as well. In review, the three ways to outfluster a flusterer is:
1) Remain unflustered
2) Accuse your flusterer of being flustered
3) Repetition
Follow these three simple steps and in no time, your flusterer will also be screaming and running out the door in flusteration.
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