You don't realize how many funny, silly, and yes, sometime stupid things people say until you decide to record them!
As you read them, jot down any ones that you really like or find especially funny and let me know which ones they are in the guestbook. I'm curious to see which ones people find especially entertaining.
3. squeakEgurl: stupes
squeakEgurl: o well, we will have fun BY OURSELVES!!!
squeakEgurl: so there
4. From "Saved"
(Mary has gone into labor has just been put in ambulance)
EMT: Only one person can ride with her.
Dean: I'm the father
Patrick: I'm the boyfriend.
Other quy(forget his name): I'm his boyfriend(pointing to Dean)
5. Me: I have to watch a movie for my religion class that is almost four hours long!
Emily: What is it about?
Me: Mohammed.
Emily: Jesus!
6. Me(as we are about to leave for Big Y without money): We should probably bring money!
Emily gives me this look as if to say that is the strangest thing I have ever heard; why would we ever need money?
7. We're in Big Y, singing along to the song, "My Favorite Things" which is being played. A man walks by our aisle and looks down it just as Zu starts to really belt it out.
Me: We have to remember we're not at Mount Holyoke anymore. We're in the real world now.
8. Elizabetsy23: ok well then I will be over in a jiffy!
sneeziegirl20: alrighty!
sneeziegirl20: hehe jiffy, like the peanutbutter!
9. squeakEgurl: i'm trying to rip xmas music onto my compute but it's being strange
10. Mom: This pipporoni is hot!
11. (taking about our periods)
Julie(cousin): I known mine has come when I go to the bathroom.
Jo(cousin): That's usually how it works.
12. Man in NYC: Photos for only $5!
Jeanie(aunt, mishearing): What a Volvo for $5?
Jane(aunt): I thought he said a toga!
13. Heather: There's horseshit on your floor!
14. Me: My computer is being slow and I'm trying to procrastinate!
15. Asj829: Hold on half a sex
16. Squeakiegurl118: There aren't any secrety secrets anymore!
17. sneeziegirl20: I got my hair cut!
squeakiegurl118: Really? How short?
sneeziegirl20: It brushes my soldiers.
18. Emily: Are you doing Spanish?
Me: Yeah.
Emily: I almost said are you doing Santa?
Me: Yeah I am, Mrs. Claus isn't very happy. Santa wants a Santa Jr. to replace him since Mrs. Claus hasn't given him one and now she's too old.
19. Heather: My plant is dying. I don't like plants.
Emily: Then why did you get one?
20. Heather: My room is pretty oxygenated with the lovely flagellated gas my roommate gives me.
21. Emily(has her ponytail on top of her head) I wonder if this is what I would look like with bangs.
Me: Well if you had no hair and bangs.
22. Zu: Can I worry about the chair and crotch please?
23. Heather: I think it would be really cool to train a calf and ride it.
Emily: Do you know what a wedgie you'd get?
24. The note Heather left on our message board for Emily: Spanky- Let the apple in!
25. Heather: Wouldn't be really funny to call public safety and say "There's an emergency in Ham Dining Hall! Come quick" and they'd say, "We're on our way. What's the problem?" "There's a ghost!"
26. My dad(about to order a farmer"s omelet): I�ll have a farmer"s almanac please!
27. Dad(as we're approaching a restaurant called "Brian's in Paradise"): Want to stop at that restaurant- Brian's in Pancakes?
28. My Mom sees a deer up ahead while we are driving and says really quietly: Oh dear, it's a dear!
29. We're playing that alphabet game where you say, "A my name is Annabelle, my husband's name is Al. We come from Alabama and we sell apricots." We're at W and it's my dad's turn. He says: Hi my name is W!
30. Heather(talking about sharks, they have to swim all the time, in a really sympathetic tone): Oh they can't take breaks. They have to swim all the time. I can't walk 5 minutes without getting tired.
31. Me: I can only hear out of one ear.
Heather: Are you going deaf?
Me: I hope not.
32. Heather: My ADHD is going to kick in soon. Even though I don't have it, it's just going to happen.
33. Heather: You have my roomate's hair on your shoe.
Emily: What? Where? Ew!
34. Heather: I'm like a Christmas tree. Because my leaves come out random places and say "decorate me."
35. Heather: I'm not random, I'm just sporadic.
36. Heather: Don't make fun of me, we all live in a yellow submarine.
37. Geology textbook: Acid rain is rain that is more acidic than normal.
38. Zu: My drugs are falling out.
39. Emily: Is Santa falling down?
40. Me: We should have a show. The watch Leslie and Emily go Crazy show.
41. Emily: I feel kind of like a monkey.
42. Me: I'd have sex on the beach with you Orlando! And you Benjamin McKenzie! But not at the same time.
43. Emily: My brain shut off without telling me.
44. Heather: I can go up the stairs forward and backwards!
45. Me: I don't like this. I have to like, read and understand.
46. Emily: There was one alum who used to go here.
47. Emily: I fingered myself this morning. (note: this really isn't as dirty as it sounds, it's computer term for something you do on the MHC computer system, but it sounds funny, especially to those who don't know!)
48. Emily: I still have one more thing to do on my hand.
49. Emily: Electronic women don't usually scare me.
50. Emily: When I was little I used to eat oats, plain, because I wanted to be a horse.
51. Elizabeth: Guys have pumpkin buts and girls have apple buts. Or at least that's how it's supposed to be.
52. Emily: Wait, I'm sleeping.
53. Emily(talking about where she put her phone bill): I put it in a safe place. I just have to find that safe place.
54. olivefrog1: well you should give a little tiredness to me
sneeziegirl20: take as much as you want
olivefrog1: cause i am going to be dancing all night at this rate
55. Onekakmz16: dinner in shower
56. Marietta: I think I might make some ornaments for Snickerdoodle instead...(he's the "tree" [branch] that B brought in as our Xmas tree hehe, all the trees/plants in our room have names...except my light up tree! it needs one...)
57. Emily: I just squirted lotion on my hands but now I don't remember where I was going to put it.
58. squeakEgurl: i just put on my sunglasses hahaha i amuse myself sometimes
59. Caroline: I don't know what is wrong with me... I am starting to like hip hop and rap
60. Zu: I'd bow down before a naked god.
61. squeakEgurl(starts our IM conversation with this): APPLE CIDER
62. squeakEgurl: i was wearing my Marietta sweatshirt today but not now...hey i still have my sneakers on
63. squeakEgurl: because writing papers is not usually a barrel of monkeys
squeakEgurl: it's usually BORING
64. Heather: I like plants, but not plants with diseases.
65. Emily: You're a piece of work Heather.
Heather: I'm not a piece of work. I don't need work. I've had enough work.
66. Elizabetsy23: I hope you don't get dick..what bad timing
67. Heather: It got a lobotomy. (talking about my plant)
68. Heather: I dyed my leg.
69. Heather: Look I could be a dancer with socks on.
70. Heather: I'm like Princess Diana.
71. Me: Si please, merci! I'm trilingual!
From The OC:
72. Seth: There�s the age old question: Is she your girlfriend or your aunt?
73. Kirstin: Actually she�s so young, she�s more like your sister.
Seth: Ah! Great! A sister! I always wanted one of those. Ryan, how about you?
74. Seth: When I get mad I get like a 70 year old yenta.
75. Ryan: You realize we're both screwed.
Seth: Dude, I'm wearing a wife beater.
76. Lindsey: You're giving me the pinkey.
Seth: I'm not into public displays of affection.
77. Seth: Just do some of that Ryan Atwood double talk.
Ryan: I barely talk.
(End of OC quotes)
78. Emily: Life is squishy.
79. Mom: You can bury me with fruitcake!
80. Sarah(my cousin): Do you play any sports?
Me: Hello! Am I your cousin?
81. Heather: What did Emily tell me to do? Something about food or hanging or something?
82. Emily: I'm going to hit you over the head with my horse.
83. Emily: I had this conversation the other night with Diana on the toaster.
89. Emily: Ive been having a lot of special days lately.
90. Leslie: ...so I can make a schedule of my copy.
91. Starmagic0408: I was trying to be very clam.
Talking about Becca's soon-to-be roommate:
92. Socer star: she went to some crazy school in new york city for famous kids
Socer star: i think she's really rick
Socer star: rich
93. Socer star: i sent her a message on facebook and she replied but every thing else i got from stalking her on the facebook
94. Socer star: i think she's going to be about 10 times cooler than me
sneeziegirl20: haha
Socer star: whatever i'm letting her bring the stuff for my room
95. Socer star: i'm not sure if she'll be my type...i'll have to pretend
sneeziegirl20: and then introduce me to one of her rich famous guy friends
sneeziegirl20: you can get along with anyone
Socer star: ok ok that's our new plan
sneeziegirl20: hehe yay
96. sneeziegirl20: my mom said you'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand within a week because everybody loves becca
Socer star: hahahaha she probably doesn't eat cause she's a ballerina
97. Averill: Boy those lakes are big!
Leslie: That would be why they're called the Great Lakes.
From "Raising Helen"
98. Jenny: If you go near her again I'm going to bury you so far down in the earth that the heat of the earth's core will burn you. By the way, I don't think you're a bad person, I just think your behavior is bad.
99. Jenny(talking to her unborn baby): Honey, what have I told you about kicking Mommy while she's trying to have a conversation?
Helen: You have to control everything don't you?
Jenny: It's never too early to learn manners!
100.Betsy(totally out of the blue): I have a refrigerator so I can have cold water.
101. plantagenesque: woah, this jesus on this soundtrack is going crazy
102. (Gilmore Girls)Richard: Dog, follow me please.
103. (Gilmore Girls) Emily(talking about the dog): Richard! It's moving! Is it supposed to do that?
104. (The OC)Marissa: So what did you say?
Summer: That I'm fasting for a colonoscopy.
Marissa: I'm sure that went over well.
105. (The OC)Sandy: Honey, I don�'t want to alarm you, but there's a giant Julie Cooper on the table.
106. Emily: Our cameras can be friends!
107. squeakEgurl: I keep laughing out loud for no reason and creeping my out my roommate
108. sneeziegirl20: i was just dancing around my room to a russian song called "the orange song"
109. Emily: I have a puddle.
110. Emily: I just sang a song, you had a conversation with yourself, everything�s back to normal.(btw- the you refers to me)
111. Emily: Leslie, I knocked your teeth off your table.
112. sneeziegirl20: a piece of advice- when holding a cup filled with liquid do not try to wave with that hand
113. Me: I don't like this whole, like, doing work thing.
114. Heather: I sat down and my ass started warming up.
115. Heather: I need to get my arm fixed.
116. Heather: I'm allergic to the whole world.
Zu: I hate when that happens.
117. Emily(very excited): My pants!
118. Heather: You have a dust bunny on your back. Where were you?
Zu: Under my bed.
119. Zu: Be quiet or I'm going to hit your crotch!
120. Heather: You know what? I've had enough of you. I say I divorce my phone.
121. Emily: There's a narcaleptic horse at the barn
Zu: Don�t ride that horse! I don't want to get a call saying, "Can you take me to the hospital? I'm being crushed by a narcoleptic horse!"
122. Me: Oops. Maybe I should have read the directions.
123. Zu: Alcoholism is a disease, binge drinking is a way of life.
124. Me: When I read, I don't notice words.
125. Me: Who said something at dinner and what did they say?
126. Onekakmz16: I'll be there in 1.5 minutes.
127. Emily: This means I have to go talk to people and I don't like talking to people.
128. Me(talking about my plant): Tom is straight now!
Emily: Was he gay?
129. My mom(by "we", she means she and the cats): We talked, walked to the mailbox, we had treats, and we played with a ball.
130. Heather: I am the roster.
131. Heather(or so I heard): Where's the twister eraser dude?
Emily(or so I heard): At the stable.
132. plantagenesque: I have allergies
sneeziegirl20: I have purple hair.
133. Sarah: Oh awesome, that's horrible.
134. Heather: She got new teeth.
135. Heather: I'�s Simon Garfinkle.
136. Heather: I want waffles.
Me: I thought you didn't like waffles.
Heather: I like them as candy, not as breakfast.
137. Heather: Pus in boots.
138. Heather: My dog has eight belly buttons.
139. Heather: Animals are lucky. Their nipples don't get big unless there's milk in them.
140. Heather: I'm a mini beast.
141. Emily: Where is Leslie?
Heather: Are you an idiot? She has been downstairs for 45 minutes watching Gilmore Girls.
142. Emily: We are in the opposite direction of Connecticut.
143. Emily(talking about a chestnut I had on the windowsill): Chestnuts are good luck. The next time you have a test you should take it with you and rub it for good luck.
Heather: Rub your nuts.
144. Emily: I may be mentally challenged but I'm not visually challenged. (pauses) Oh wait, I am; I have glasses!
145. Elizabetsy23: So yeah I am going to try and leave tomorrow to catch the 1:45 bus but if it doesn't work out it is not like I will die or anything
146. Elizabetsy23: that girl in our canoeing class...
sneeziegirl20: there were lots of girls in our canoeing class
147. In Developmental Psych, talking about breatfeeding>br>
Student: What about breastfeeding twins, triplets, etc?
Professor Wendt: Oh my goodness, your a cow!
148. Professor Wendt: Today we're going to talk about herdity and next class we're going to have a baby!
149. Emily: Want some popcorn?
Zu: No thanks.
Emily: It�s only a day old.
Me: More like two days old.
Emily: Sh, I'm trying to get rid of my popcorn.
150. Emily's bio prof: What you need for next week is inspired inspermation.
151. Prof. Bacon: I kind of liked the narrator's voice, it was very soothing and British.
152: Emily: I'm not wearing my vest anymore, now there's less between me and the tickle.
153. Emily: That's how I hit Jesus in the ear.
154. sneeziegirl20: how's the sleeping with a roommate going?
155. Emily: I didn't used to attack people before I came here.
156. Heather: I'll have to have my mom e-mail her homemade cookies up.
157. Heather: Well I should close your bed.
158. Zu: She befriends this goat who steals her soapdish everyday and then [beep] I got a text message.
160. sneeziegirl20: my stapler isn't working
Elizabetsy23: ut oh
sneeziegirl20: and i have to pee
Elizabetsy23: k
sneeziegirl20: and spanish is confusing me
sneeziegirl20: *wine*
161. 1sneeziegirl20: and my stapler is all stuck now
sneeziegirl20: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sneeziegirl20: that's supposed to be a wine
sneeziegirl20: i don't know how to wine on im
sneeziegirl20: but i'm very winy right now
Elizabetsy23: wow you sure are wining...
Elizabetsy23: hehe
sneeziegirl20: i knoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww
sneeziegirl20: my stapler is making me sad
Elizabetsy23: ahhh thats to bad
Elizabetsy23: why don't you go pee?!?
sneeziegirl20: ok fine
Elizabetsy23: good girl, it will help with your anxiousness
*** Auto-response from sneeziegirl20: brb
sneeziegirl20: ok i'm baaaacccck mommy
162. Elizabetsy23: did you get the converstation?
sneeziegirl20: no
sneeziegirl20: where?
sneeziegirl20: was i supposed to?
Elizabetsy23: yeah
Elizabetsy23: look up
sneeziegirl20: i see the ceiling
163. Heather: I blew the wrong part of my body. Wait, where'd it go?
164. Ok I know this isn't a quote, but it's funny. I came back to the room the other night to find the door toilet-papered. When I ask about it, Heather tries to explain why but was very confusing, but the jist I got was that Heather was inspired to tp our door because Emily was singing a Lion King Song.
165. Heather(talking about her computer): It wants to be an English major's paper, not a science major's. It likes flowers and pretty words, not tables.
166. Becca's away message:
dear AIM,
You are dead to me, i have to do this paper
love,
becca
167. sneeziegirl20: i have half a bag of caramel hersheys kisses sitting next to me
squeakEgurl: WHAT
sneeziegirl20: but they're my friends
squeakEgurl: haha it looks like u said they're ur friends, as in u r friends with them
168. sneeziegirl20: o i want to sing along
sneeziegirl20: but i can't
squeakEgurl: heheh y?
sneeziegirl20: i don't know russian
169. squeakEgurl: Beach Boys r awesome
squeakEgurl: surfin USA
squeakEgurl: we'll all be plannin out a route
squeakEgurl: we're gonna take real soon
squeakEgurl: makes me wanna surf
sneeziegirl20: nita corta set
sneeziegirl20: nita corta yet
sneeziegirl20: nina para yet
squeakEgurl: o yea i like that song too
170. Heather(to me): You have icing all over your ass.
Zu: Can I lick it off?
171. Heather: I'm a son of a hoe.
172. Heather(talking about cleavage of sea urchins for bio): My cleavage looks like this.
173. Heather(talking to Emily): What are you doing now, strapping yourself together?
173. Emily(talking about turning 20): I makes me feel so small inside.
174. Sneeziegirl20: i was actually pretty productive until i got to my spanish homework but then it was annoying and i didn't like it so it made me find distractions
175. Zu(finds a hair in her food): It's a possum!
176. Zu(to Emily): You're infested with possums!
177. Zu: My crotch is very happy right now.
178. Zu: My crotch is just popular.
(Gosh Zu, you certainly talk about your crotch a lot- #22 too!)
179. Emily: I'm going to put Orlando on my wall.
Me: Don't put him on your wall!
Emily: I'll put him in my bed.
Me: No, put him in my bed.
180. Heather: Here's the penis inflator.
181. Leslie(the other one, not me): The girl to your left in the green fleece is a Leslie starer!
182. (Note- Tom is my plant)
Me: I need to find Tom's pink pencil to make him straight again.
Heather: When he has his pink pencil he's confused. He's sexually confused. He's waiting to come out of the closet, out of his pot.
Me: He did! He came out of his pot today!
Emily: He was trying to tell you something!
Me: Yeah, he came out of his pot when he fell off the printer while I was printing stuff.
Heather: He was having a vibration, sexual orgasmic experiences.
183. Heather(talking about her brother): His dick thinks for his mind. His penis is probably bigger than his mind.
184. Heather: I never understood "uphill both ways" until I came to this school. I always thought you went uphill and then down, but here there are two hills.
185. Heather(in a note to Emily about the rotting apples on her desk):
Emily,
WTF? Call me so I can sanitarily remove this apple.
-Heather!
It's very biodegradable and quite dangerous! Don't touch!
186. Heather: I have real mice and symbolic mice, I mean mouse, symbolic mouse- my roommate!
187. Me(talking to my printer): Go, print, and be happy!
188. Heather(talking about a pencil): Ow. It stabbed me. They're mean.
190. sneeziegirl20: i want to sleeeeep
Elizabetsy23: take a short nap it works
Elizabetsy23: like half hour is magic!
Leslie: hehe i think i might
Elizabetsy23: and preferably have a fire drill wake you up and run out side into the cold
191. Elizabetsy23: i'm ordering tights for ballet now
elizabetsy23 black footless tights
sneeziegirl20: o cool
elizabetsy23: not nude people would think im not wearing anything
192. Me: I wish we had a pet. Then I wouldn't have to talk to my plants.
193. (in Spanish class our professor, Luisa was saying Spanish words for professions and we were supposed to give the English meaning)
Luisa: el sacerdote
Student 1: a fireman?
Student 2: a masseuse?
Student 3: a hair dresser?
Luisa: No! It�s a priest!
194. Emily: I interact with my computer, on like a daily basis.
195. sneeziegirl20: hey
Elizabetsy23: hey leslie!
Elizabetsy23: it's leslie!
Leslie: hi leslie!
(the other Leslie was on Elizabetsy's sn, I just thought it was rather funny with all the Leslies!
196. sneeziegirl20: i have no motivation
sneeziegirl20: it all went away
sneeziegirl20: on a vacation
sneeziegirl20: hey! that rhymes!
197. (talking about the stapler I recieved in the mail from my parents)
sneeziegirl20: i really need one tho
sneeziegirl20: cause mine is broken
sneeziegirl20: it likes to eat my papers
sneeziegirl20: it grabs on and won�t let go
sneeziegirl20: o its purple!
sneeziegirl20: to match my hair!
198. Emily: I don't want to be an atom.
199. Emily: You know I've been studying chemistry too long when I start singing atoms songs. Oh crap. That�s going to go in the quote book.
200th Quote: Emily: Where did my brain go? I need it back!
201. Emily: I don't like to piss off people that could kill me.
202. Heather: See, your not laughing this time.
Emily: If I was lying down I would be.(lays down and starts laughing)
203. Heather: My foot is getting its hair tied up.
204. Heather: Damn it! I drew lines all over my lab.
205. Zu: Hang on, my gloves are in my crotch. (another crotch quote!)
206. Emily: Home! Home on the range!
207. Emily(picks up her can of cashews): Nuts! I�m a nut. Instead of a little teapot, I'm a little nut!
208. Emily: Can you even see, Heather?
Heather: I don't know.
209. Me: You're wacko.
Heather: No, I'm Susie.
210. Emily: You're a smart cookie.
Heather: It depends on what kind of cookie.
211. Heather: I thought it was easy until I read it.
212. Emily: Ah! I'm loosing my life!
213. Heather: Emily doesn't know how to change things, her door, her clothes. She doesn't do well with change. She needs consistency.
214. Emily: Who tied you to the bed?
Heather: The invisible connections of my inner societies
215. sneeziegirl20:i forgot to put up an away message when i went to my stats class this afternoon, it dawned on me in the middle of class and i was like "oh no! i forgot to put up an away message!"
socerstar:: hahahaha
sneeziegirl20: but luckily this new thing i have, gaim puts up a defalt away message when u r idle for a certain amount of time
socerstar: did u have any angry messages
sneeziegirl20: but mine just says "around"
socerstar: got it
sneeziegirl20: i wanted to run back to my room during class and put up a correct away message, but i couldn't do that obviously
socerstar: hahahahaha
216. sneeziegirl20: we can even color Easter eggs if u want!
socerstar(who is 18 and Jewish): YEAH!!!!
217. Emily: I'm a damn sexy beaver.
218. Me: I need to write myself a note so I don't remember my appointment.
219. sneeziegirl20(talking about how its difficult to dancein my dorm room): its hard to do tourjetes in here
Elizabetsy23: leslie go rent out the space in where ever that place is
sneeziegirl20: u have to start at a certain place and have enough room and pray your foot doesn't hit anything
sneeziegirl20: what place?
Elizabetsy23: kendade (note: Kendade is the science building, Kendall is the gym)
Sneeziegirl20: the science place?
Elizabetsy23: lol
Elizabetsy23: nope
sneeziegirl20: where would i dance?
sneeziegirl20: in the chem labs?
220. sneeziegirl20: i'm currently talking to u, trying to write an e-mail, trying to write an lj entry, looking at the menu online, and dancing around the room
221. Elizabetsy23
222. Elizabeth: I'm going to go stare at the salad bar. Or maybe pace back and forth.
223. (Shrub is Bush)
224. squeakEgurl: well i'm gonna skidootch b/c i'm goin to dinner soon
225. Mom: (burps) Pardon me!
226. Me: Are you going to run the dishwasher before tomorrow I leave?
227. squeakEgurl: i wish i was at ur house with u instead of here with me
228. squeakEgurl: rap seems to be takin gover
229. Heather: I have a hole in my mouth!
230. Zu: Where are my pants?
231. Me: I'm going to have a princess bar so I can become a princess!
232. Me: I don't like regular people.
233. Emily: I have to go water my dirt.
234. Zu: I'm going to go sleep with my notes.
235. Me: I'm bilingual in cookie language!
236. Elizabetsy: I'm going to go pee on your floor. (Ok, she ment the bathroom on your floor)
237. Jeanie(aunt)(on Easter): Merry Christmas!
238. Emily: Why am I looking for my French paper in my documents? I haven�t written it yet!
239. Zu(looking up a word for Emily in the French-English dictionary): Now what was- (all excited)dyke's in here!
240. My stats textbook: Remember, this whole procedure is really a kind of complicated castle in the air. It exists only in our minds to help us make decisions based on the results an actual experiment.
241. Zu: That's the good thing about being so close to the bathroom- you're close to the toilet paper.
242. Zu: This is what we get for $40,000 dollars a year- toilet paper.
243. Zu: We give them paper, and they give us paper back.
244. Emily: Can I do anything?
245. Heather: I'm like a drunk man. (she wasn�t even drunk)
246. mousify: maybe i'll go take a bap
247. Zu: I know, you put things in your mouth and your hands just stop working.
248. Zu: I suffer from short term memory loss.
249. Zu: And then Freud would say (hiccup).
250. Zu(Emily thought she heard a knock, so Zu yelled to the door): If you're here to attack us, don't come in!
251. Me: I was going to update my webpage when I remembered that I had to cut out trefoils.
252. sneeziegirl20: ah my brain is asleep
253. Emily: Can I poke your bread? It looks so squishy!
254. squeakEgurl: sometimes me and bay walk around the room like little old ladies
255. My away mesage: ah i don't want to do stats! save me from the evil stats monster!
256. What Heather's Mom told her about boys when she was younger: Don't get a boyfriend, remember the 4 F's: they find you, they feel, you they fuck you, they forget you.
257. sneeziegirl20: o that reminds me, who the heck is macadamia?
258. Dad: This is 2:16 calling 1:38!
259. Heather: I drool like a lake in my sleep.
260. Morrgan(totally out of the blue at dinner): How do snakes have sex?
261. I'm doing homework when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door.
262. Heather: I can't count backwards by twos. It's really bad. 20, 18, 16, 12
263. (talking to my dad on the phone) Dad: What? What are you saying?
264. Heather: Night, night. Don't let the computer aim bite.
265. Heather: Emily is to butter as Zu is to pepper.
266. Heather(leaving a message, stays in in a completly normal tone throughout the message): So give me a call on my cell XXX-XXX-XXXX or on Emily�s phone, which is-(looks to Emily who gives her the number) XXXX, even though I call it everyday I still can�t remember it. Thanks, bye.
267. Emily: Have you heard this song? (pauses, waiting for an answer) Oh my God! I'm so stupid! You don't know what song I'm talking about! It might help if I played it for you!
268. Heather: I have tons of turtle socks and they�'e all named Wilbur.
269. (On IM, talking about her missing prospie)Zu: Anyway, I guess I'll wait for a call from public safety about a rabid squirrel attack.
270. Emily: Heather, are you ready?
271. Zu(on her plan(kind of like an AIM profile) to me): I know how you feel about the whole "lots of reading" thing. But just remember it can always be worse. Unless you're dead. But on the bright side you can just rest when you're dead. Also, you can camp out in my room next year. You can lie in my closet (which, sadly, might be bigger than your room next year)
272. Zu: I was so hungry after my AP psych exam that I was like "give me food or I'll eat myself!"
273. squeakEgurl: there it's done YUM
274. squeakEgurl: if u ever change ur mind, come straight to me and we'll go back in time
275. sneeziegirl20: i have no idea what i'm doing
276. sneeziegirl20(Zu was telling me about the alternatives to tampons that she had found while researching the topic for her anthro paper): i can't get a tampon up there so i don't think i could get a sea sponge up there
277. (note: this was at 1:30am)sneeziegirl20: ah y am i braiding my hair?
278. socerstar: so maybe i'm goign thorugh menopause
279. squeakEgurl: DIE STUPID CLASS DIE
280. sqeakEgurl: ur philosophicity (made that up!) keeps me real
281. squeakEgurl: maybe u should write a book
282. ordinaryme21(explaining why Tampax Pearl tampons are her preffered tampon brand): and also they are pearls and i love pearls haha
283. Zu: Hi crotch, how are you? (talks for her crotch) I'm good. Thanks for asking.
284. Emily: Did I say I was in my room?
285. Me: I was thinking I was a pretzel but I�m not.
286. sneeziegirl20: i just tried to be a pretzle
287. sneeziegirl20: emily says to get your ass down here
288. Zu: I've been having an affair with your bed.
289. Me: That's why zu has been napping on my bed a lot this year!
290. Heather: Your bed isn't pure anymore, it isn't white.
291. Zu: We used protection. The bed has a special covering.
292. Me: I was going to be- I don't know what I was saying.
293. Sneeziegirl20: i'm trying to figure out how to be at two places at once so a third place might be hard!
294. sneeziegirl20: ah music
295. Durga: You have a very gay room.
296. Me: My foot stepped in dirt.
297. Zu(to Emily): I wasn't sure if you just admitted that you didn't have a brain.
298. Zu: I�m not like a nuclear power plant emitting stuff.
299. Emily: I've actually learned something!
300th Quote: Emily: I swear, if anyone drives me crazy ever, its going to be me.
301. Emily: Watch my head for a sec.
302. Me: I'm all anxious now after being attacked by flying chirstmas lights.
303. Mary, a woman at the Gril Scout Council(in her message on her voicemail): And tomorrow afternoon I'll be out of the office because I'm going to Holyoke to hook up some Girl Scouts.
304. Me: What are you doing?
305. sneeziegirl20(talking about Becca's roommate who was on a date): lets hope this date doesn't go well and she comes home with him
306. Me: I have games in my closet.
307. sneeziegirl20: i have to get up at 7:40
308. sneeziegirl20: it was kinda weird
309. Me: I've bought and sold stuff on e-bay.
310. sneeziegirl20: i have no motivation
311. Zu(to Emily): You have a mountain on your boob.
312. Me: My brain and body are like raaa!
313. Me: The dorm in my elevator is really slow.
314. Emily: Zu was looking for goat 2 but couldn't find it.
315. Emily: Oh my goodness, I'm so scatterbrained. It's really bad when you drive past your own house.
316. Emily: I wanted juice the other day but I wasn't sure if it was yours or mine and I didn't want to eat yours. Or drink it. I guess you don't eat juice do you?
317. Emily(standing in the doorway of our room): Where am I?
318. Emily(crawling under her desk): Hey! Johnny Depp is back here!
319. Me: This means that the results are not significantly significant.
320. Emily: I had never seen a vacuum packed horse before.
321. Zu(while drinking a juice box): I'm such a six year old.
322. starmagic0408: right now my bed is covered so if i don't clean it off im gonna hafta sleep on the floor tonight
323. plantagenesque: I'm going to visit the Senate and the White House and hang out in Georgetown Bars drinking cranberry juice!
324. Mom: It's like that Dr. Seuss book- "Ah, The Places I've Been."
325. Mom: You can go ahead and throw my hat up north.(meaning up back)
326. (Days of Our Lives) Nicole: Why can't people just stay dead in this town?
327. Mom: How was your weekend?
327. Me: Mmm, I like pretzels.
328. Becca: Are the NBC finals still going on?(meaning NBA finals)
329. Mom: We were about to shit down.
330. Mom: Don't make me laugh; I'm drinking out of a measuring cup!(She really was!)
331. Dad(after I was pretending that I was sprinkler): Very good, you can be a sprinkler when you grow up.
332. sneeziegirl20: ah it took me forever to write that because my fingures kept on getting crazy and taypinge weird things like thatnt
333.(A little while later)sneeziegirl20: hehe yeah u should search all of facebook and find other mariettas
334. squeakEgurl: whoa, i got to the people whose Last Names are Marietta
335. sneeziegirl20: o goodness its 10:30 already
336. sneeziegirl20: i like renys!
337. (talking about how we know lots of poeople with June and July birthdays) sqeakEgurl: lots of people snowed in in the winters of 85/86
338. Mom(hears me putting something away near her room, she's in bed, asleep I thought: Goodnight. Is it night?
339. sneeziegirl20(I was going to spend the night at Marietta's house): do i need to bring anything special?
341.(Note: Say Cheese is the name of the store my mom just bought)
342. Mom: Why is this cream bad? The expiration date is June 18.
343. Mom: They should both go jump in a lake. And not hold their noses.
344. Me: I got stuck in the closet. There are lots of bags so I had to straddle them and then I got stuck because I had something on my head and it was heavy.
345. Briel's Friend(talking about the ring she was wearing): It's my grandmother's. The good news is that its real. The bad news is that she's dying.
346. Mom(commenting on a group of guys standing together in the mall): Those boys are hanging out in the hood!
347. Mom(talking about it later):Aren't you impressed that I knew to say that? I read it in the newspaper.
348. Me: I've never played Laser Tag before.
349. Mom: I have to wear so many hats, my head is sore.
350. (I was driving to NH) Dad: You're doing a great job driving.
351. socerstar: the cheese store was fun today
352. socerstar: ok well i'm gonna go relax and read harry potter...its sad to be obsessed even though i know what happens!
353. sneeziegirl20: ah i'm having a hot flash
354. socerstar: so what are you up to tomorrow
355. Me: My brain is still on vacation. I will have to write it a letter and tell it to come back.
356. Zu: We're playing cat and mouse games again. But I'm not sure if I'm the mouse or that cat. I'm having an identity crisis.
357. Shaili: I think I need one of those older people peeing pads; let me know when you are going to walmart, Leslie.
358. Me(talking about duct tape): It's quack quack tape.
359. Shaili: I think that cookie had sugar.
360. Me(looking at Study Abroad stuff): I have that song- I think its from Aladdin, "Let me Show You the World," or somethinglike that- running through my head.
361. Dad(talking about how aftershave spilled in his suitcase and got on his pants): I�m going to smell like a French whore.
362. Mom(after I told her what my dad said): I'm going to call him and say "Is this the French whore
363. onekakmz16: languages! boo. people should all just speak english.
364. sneeziegirl20: how is your french presentation?
365. Emily(tired after a horse show): I'd better go before I say something I regret and it ends up in the quote book.
366. sneeziegirl20: and i will have to hear all about your trip at some point!
367. squeakEgirl(away message):my friends ben & jerry are here from dublin, they've brought mudslides, we're working on my public speaking shit
368. Mom: For dinner I had some bread I brought home from the store and some cheese from the store.
369. Shaili: I'll call her, but after I read this. It says something about something.
370. Shaili: Are you the girl in room 312?
371. Me(talking about my fish): I don't know if they like sundried shrimp.
372. Zu(talking about the noisy people in the hall while we were trying to study): I want to load a gun with lots of push pins and let it rip- on their heads.
373. sneeziegirl20: is it raining?
374. My away message: reading about childbirth
375. sneeziegirl20: zu and i were just saying how u were never on im!
376. One of my Women's Studies Professors: If you don't like him, you like her; somebody should be having sex here!
377. Student: You watched your own C-section?
378. One of my Women's Studies Professors again(talking about pologymy): And maybe even to share the sex. "Oh honey, I have a headache- go ask your co-wife."
379. Shaili: I want to explode! I wish I were a rocket. Then I could go straight up and go capooie! And there would be sparkles and that would be better.
380. Me: Thanks for the scarf! It will keep my neck warm all summer long!
381. Me: I'm a fire breathing garlic dragon!
382. squeakEgurl: and i THINK i'm going to name him Pepito b/c angelfish are from brazil
383.sneeziegirl20: i have a funny story
384. Shaili: I'm nuts.
385.(I'm not quite sure how Emily is surviving this year without me...)Zu: We might be having another home game on the 29th.
386. (At a Las Vegas Night party, I can't remember who said this) Guy: We are drunk and gay.
387. Me: Yeah, that can be pretty subjunctive, ah I ment subjective, Spanish is invading my life!
388. Girl in my Women's Studies class: We all want to be gay men.
389. Women's Studies Profesor: It is probably a psychotic wasp. It has no friends, no community.
390. Zu: I don't think lesbian rat sex would be safe.
391. (talking about whether we could serve expired popcorn to Girl Scouts)
392. (Women's Studies professors talking about the film that we are about to see on Drag Kings)
393.
Prof Barale: For the big balls
394. Daisy Parent: I have to get apples and dip for my son's pre-school Haloween party; they don't want them to have sweets. They also can't wear their Haloween costumes because they are afraid that they will be too scary.
395. (Steve Walker is the landlord of the space the store occupies)
396. sunyxum: I'm like the little dictator telling you to do things
397. sneeziegirl20:i just ate a lot of candy corn and now the sugar is making me want to dance around the room
398. Prof Barale: Who here was raised by wolves and how did you get here?
399. squeakEgurl: sorry my away message is going insane
400. sneeziegirl20: my figners went trick or treating and are now on sugar high
401. Marietta: Ah! I keep on forgetting that I'm plugged into the wall. Haha,I meant my cell phone. I'm plugged into the wall! Leslie, did you know that I'm a robot? I'm recharging right now!
402. Starmagic0408: well i kind of granted myself an extension and then just let him know about it
403. onekakmz16: i had to leave the libs b/c my back was bothering me
404. onekakmz16: i think i'm getting a spanish vibe
405. Emily: I can't see your voice.
406. Zu: I've slept with my calculus notes before.
407. onekakmz16: come on over
408. (Talking about going to the Health Center) Elizabetsy23: if you go there they will just ask you one question
409. sneeziegirl20: i can brings some if u want
410. onekakmz16: are you coming over?
411. sneeziegirl20: gah
412. squeakEgurl: EEEW CUTE GUY FROM BOOTHBAY JUST SENT ME A PICTURE OF "WHAT'S LEFT OF HIS KIDNEY STONE"
413. sneeziegirl20: i wish i were a kangaroo!
414. squeakEgurl: i hate the miss seventeen reality show
415. Shaili: I think I have a shorter attention span than a kindergartener.
416. sneeziegirl20: so any cute boys that u fancy?
417. Shaili(talking about her study abroad program): You get to live with a peasant! I don't know how, because they don't really have a home, but its still really cool.
418. Emily: I'm like a human quote machine. (Haha, yes, you really are, Emily!)
419. Emily: At least you haven't fallen asleep on your keyboard like I always do.
420. Heather: I had a firetruck stuck in my head once. I'm missing a piece of my scull because of it.
421. Laura: I have a better chance of waking up as a man than getting attacked by terrorists in Denmark.
422. Laura: Is there anything else I have to do for the Laurel Fellowship that I don't know about? Like promise them my first born?
423. onekakmz16: i wouldn't consider it murder
424. onekakmz16: and it's official, i know what being pregnant must feel like
425. Shaili(talking about Friday): It's the awesomest day. I'm going to name my kid Friday.
426. squeakEgurl: ok early to bed, early to rise
427. sneeziegirl20: practice makes perfect!
427. squeakEgurl: AH THIS SPEECH IS KILLING ME
429. sneeziegirl20: Leslie: bye ettels!
430. Shaili: I'm off to b- din- lunch!
431. sneeziegirl20: o i did the fishies
432. sneeziegirl20: i've been having a yearning to be pregnant lately
433. Women's Studies Prof: Mount Holyoke has been known for turning out women who are-
434. Emily: Do I need another piece of poster board?
435. Me: We're your friends, we're here for you through thick and thin, bad times and good�
436: sneeziegirl20: i can't find a smily to match my expression
437: (in December, talking about why Shrub is giving a speach)sneeziegirl20: i was just thinking "oh! would it be the state of the union? is it that time already? is it january?"
438. sneeziegirl20: that will be my dad tomorrow
439: Emily: Oh this is sad, I'm impersonating bugs, I guess I should get off the phone and go to bed now.
442. (talking about how I have trouble turning on the correct burner on the stove)
Mom: For a smart girl, your kinda dumb.
443.Mom: Let's J-Lo.
444. Me: It's an automated movie. Oops. I mean animated.
445. Me: Uh oh, they are particularly interested in hiring people from diverse backgrounds.
446. sneeziegirl20: hey!
447. Emily(looking at planners in Staples): Why do they all end with December?
448. starmagic0408: i've never gotten an im about cleaning a rat cage before though
449. sneeziegirl20: ah my room is so dusty
450. sneeziegirl20:: oh we three need to get together soon!
451. sneeziegirl20: ah dust bunny!
452. sneeziegirl20:: goodness cleaning this 200 square foot room is such an ordeal
453. stagic0408: how's everything over there in lovely safford?
454. starmagic0408: haha i know my brain is really special
455. starmagic0408: i think i was kinda hungover this morning too which didn't help my brain
456. starmagic0408: do i need to go tell your car to behave itself?
457. starmagic0408: i feel like such a mom with a lunch date! hahaahaaa
458. Shaili: I just love water. It's so good because it has no taste!
459. Me: I couldn't find my cell phone this morning so I had to call it, but it was on vibrate, but luckily it was on a shelf in my closet so I found it.
460. Zu�s away message: geology - the moho course of choice. cleavage, hardness, and dikes - oh my!
461. Girl(before Drag Ball): Can you teach her how to walk like a girl? Cause I just can't do it with a penis.
462. Me(singing): What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing but I need to find out what I'm doing. And now I am singing a song.
463. onekakmz16: meet you there as fast as you can!
464. sneeziegirl20:: see!!!!!!
465. socerstar: I HATE RESEARCH METHODS
465. sneeziegirl20:: ok i think it is the caffine, i just danced downt he hallway
465. onekakmz16: this is your conscience speaking...
466. Emily: I am really sore because I had a really hard lesson today, so you'll probably see me wadeling around tomorrow. Crap. That's probably going into the quote page.
467. sneeziegirl20: it was a complete, land flat on your back kind of fall
468. Laura: I mean, I could have had a kid already, working three shifts to support it, baby's daddy nowhere to be found, all alone, uneducated- thank God for Lesbianism, it saved my life!
469. Emily(talking about her upcoming trip to Napels, FL): Everyone and their mother goes to Naples. And I mean that literarily.
470. Zu(looking at my away message with me standing next to her): You're in Wilder.
471. Me: What time is your Olive Oil tasting tomorrow?
472. Me: Should I put Dad's sandwich in a bag with an umbrella? Oops. I mean a banana.
473. onekakmz16(at 12:02pm): g'afternoon
474. onekakmz16: ps - was the hole in your jeans in the crotch?
475. onekakmz16: do you have any other movies like Brokeback?
475. (telling Becca about all of the new stuff at the store) sneeziegirl20: and lots of easter candy!
476. socerstar: you are insane
477. (talking about her trip to MS/LA to help rebuild)socerstar: and i love roofing
478. socerstar: o les
479. starmagic0408: i say things all the time that make me sound like i have a brain the size of a pea.... or smaller
480. Me: How's the studying going?
481. onekakmz16: well, the thing is i'm not supposed to drink coffee, but someone wanted to have a coffee date and i caved because i love the taste
482. Zu: I need a brain filter. But I don't think they sell those.
483. squeakEgurl: ooh the IRISH mob!
484. squeakeEgurl: hmm, well now that i'm done dancing my trachea hurts when i breathe deeply which i'm trying to do to restore all of the oxygen to my brain that i used for the last three hours...
485. socerstar:(Away Message) my tummy hurts from chugging vinegar...stupid legends of the hidden temple challenges (and peer pressure)
486. libby1075: clean laundry smells good
487. socerstar: why am i still up
488. socerstar: ok i'm going to sleep
489. Libby's Away Message: If I were a water fountain I would squirt you!
490. libby1075: you eating today?
491. socerstar: my mom is coming up on saturday!!
492. Zu: I was here before I got here.
493. Zu: I'm Super Gay and I�m here to change your tires!
494. Shaili: It was an unnecessary nap that I needed to take.
495. (Zu Makes a sound while eating her sandwich)
495. squeakEgurl: Marietta: is this girl on facebook?
496. squeakEgurl: there's a tooth whitening commercial on tv and it reminded me that i need to brush my teeth, brb!
497. sneeziegirl20: oh anything happing with the make out boy or the tiny boy?
498. squeakEgurl: i want to combine the qualities of big guy and tiny guy and it would be GREAT
499. starmagic0408: i think i still am funny...or maybe just dumber
500. starmagic0408: if i could say "that sucks" en espangnol i would
501. sneeziegirl20: stressed becca boos make sad leslie loos
502. Zu: you know it's time to go to bed when...you're moving large spotted couches across amoeba rugs because your legs are too long.
503. Zu: You don't have to die. It's not supposed to kill you. It's just supposed to give you a good laugh.
504. Zu: Just let me see how weird I am.
505. sneeziegirl20: and why are you playing with legos?
506. squeakEgurl: phew, i just had a struggle with tape
507. starmagic0408: i just stole a container of whipped cream from the dining hall...hahah
508. starmagic0408: Emily : i just fell asleep so i'm glad you imed me
509. starmagic0408:yeah i knida look like a child prostitute with that outfit
510. starmagic0408: if i wrote half as much on my lab as i do on aim i'd be all set!
511. starmagic0408: wow eating spicy food is a great way to stay awake, lemme tell you
512. starmagic0408: facebook needs to die it just consumed some of my life
513. Emily: It's bad when I start swearing at the people in my paper.
514. Emily: I had a thought, but its gone now.
515. sneeziegirl20: i have things i should do, but whether i do or not is rather questionable at the moment
516. sneeziegirl20: ah
517. sneeziegirl20: they don't do it on any of the tv shows i watch
518. socerstar: why the hell did i decide to take a history class
519. Emily(giving me directions to her house): And then on your right you�ll see a grassy area surrounded by brick buildings that looks like a college, because it is.
520. onekakmz16: you sound like a service announcement
521. Onekakmz16: anyway, i'll be over and i'll try my hardest to keep my pants on
522. Thelma(Hex): Do you realize how frustrating it is being a lesbian ghost?
523. Laura: Miss you like I miss a normal shower stall! Damn euro bathrooms!
524. Me: I hope she's not annoying and weird b/c you didn't train me for that!
525. (All serious after thinking about this for quite some time) Dad: I've decided who I'm voting for.
526. sneeziegirl20: and i am going to hand out candy with u!
527. (after Marietta told Chelsea about our conversation above)
528. ordinaryme: AHHHH NO U WANT TO ATTRACT SEXUAL PARTNERS, NOT BABIES!
529. Zu: I just wanted to make sure that you haven't been attacked by boys yet!
The next three quotes are from Hex(an awesome British TV show):
531. Thelma: Good thing I can't have one.
532. Cassie: How did this happen?
534. Chels: Do you want to have dinner in a bit?
535. libby1075: got a secret
536. libby1075: I FOUND MY LOTION!!!!
537. libby1075: i'm turning into such a little gossip oh dear i like it
538. sneeziegirl20: the firsties haven't been corrupted yet
539. sneeziegirl20: haha
540. sneeziegirl20: emily is a nutcase
541. libby1075:: do you have a mountatin day there
542. sqeakEgurl: yay! flamenco music!
543. sqeakEgurl: ah so comfy on the couch with my laptop
544. sneeziegirl20: haha i was gonna sing to you cause this is such a good song but then i realized it might be akward
545. sneeziegirl20: i'm a ding bat
546. ordinaryme21: ok im going to go have a faux slumber party with Marietta
547. sneeziegirl20: is chris there?
548. ordinaryme21: i got a booboo
549 (looking at Wizzard of Oz Halloween costumes online, btw- Maxwell is Marietta and Chelsea's kitten) sneeziegirl20: MAXWELL COULD BE TOTO!
550. sneeziegirl20: ok i need to go to the shower cause i really need to try to go to sleep earlish tonight
551. sneeziegirl20: you know how i was wondering what the difference between the two thermameters was?????
552. ordinaryme21: i am dictionary.coming it
553. ordinaryme21: oh man u should just be a boy, and not my friend, and much larger than u are right now and then we'd be all set hahaha
554. (Sadly, this is very true as I am always ithcy!) Me: I have an ich.
555. Mom: Averill's joined crew and you've joined a sororiety! What is this world coming to?!
556. libby1075: ohhhh that's sad a captive male and he did nothing
557. starmagic0408: and there are so many boys here!
558. (Chels has just told me that she is making apple pie)
559. Chelsea's Away Message:: home for the night, then buying new skis tommorow mornin, then back here to celebrate some girl's 21st b-day!
560. ordinaryme21: YAY MOMY IS HAPY
561. ordinaryme21: u should start drinking at midnight tonight and not stop til midnight tommorow
562. ordinaryme21: earlier i was watching greys anatomy
563. (Talking about Sangria) sneeziegirl20: oh! i think i saw bobby flay make it once on food network
564. (Talking about where to go for my b-day dinner, I was deciding based on the drink menu!)
565. Mom: Just wear your rain boots and be happy.
566. Dad: Look at those geese flying south!
567. ordinaryme21: i am shopping for a boyfriend
568. (Talking to a person on the phone who was calling about the election)Dad: Yes, I plan to vote for my man Neal! Oh, I mean Ned.
569. Professor: They got married when she was 18 and he was 42. EWWW!
570. ordinaryme21: i think i will see one and get my tonsils removed
571. Garry(my 11-year-old cousin): Mom, I've never seen you in a hood. You look about 20 years old!
572. Jeanie(my aunt, talking to my mom about what her son son Garry said(above)): So, I'm wearing a hood all day.
573. Chelsea: So I'll see you at 9.
574. ordinaryme21: hehehehe my toinsils just made me sound liek donald duck
575. libby1075: i hope your fish doesn't die! and you shouldn't either
Next Three Quotes are from The View:
577. Joy(in response to what Rosie said, above): I don't go to tri-beca very often.
578. Joy: Next they'll have a Lexus to find your g-spot. I don't need that, I can find it myself.
579. (Talking about how Chirs and Laureli on Gilmore Girls got married in Paris without Rory). Mom: I'll never do that to you.
580. (Talking about Daniel Radclif- the guy who plays Harry Potter)
581. sneeziegirl20: you better work every shit at amicci over break so u can go to the show every day
582. libby1075: you should wear something pretty i think
583. starmagic0408: omg so you went on a DATE!???!?!
584. starmagic0408: and we kinda look at each other during class...so 5th grade i know
585. starmagic0408: the uk is a bad (or maybe good?!?!) influence on me
586. Chelsea(what I thought I heard): Marietta, let's go buy a lesbo.
587. Marietta: I wanted to hang out with my friends and get his tiny dick out of my room.
588. Chelsea: Rule number 1: You don't use napkins when making out.
589. Chelsea: Oh yeah, I forgot I made out with ice cream last night.
590. sneeziegirl20: "don't freak out, but my friend wants to add u as a friend so she can stalk u"
591. Mom: You know Jane's Red Engine Jeans?
592. (What I thought I herd) Chels: What? Oh we're going to McDonalds. Have you been?
593. sneeziegirl20: i'd be lying if i said i wasn't gonna facebook her
594. libby1075: [Person's Name] is running around her room in her bra, telling me that, that sounds more like "hey lets be friends" than "let's have sex" right?
595. libby1075: i stole herrings, i really lke them :-D
596. Me: We watched the hockey game-
597. Zu: i'm laundry challenged. only I would put the laundry in one dryer and pay to run the dryer next to it...only to notice when i went to get my clothes.
598. starmagic0408: but none the less a complete dickhead
599. starmagic0408: nm i actually went to the library today
600. sneeziegirl20: not as exciting as our library parties int he mhc library?
601. semicomatose: my immune system must be so strong now that I could get a touch of anthrax and still make it to my mornig class
602. libby1075: amelia and i were making out and my pants came off
603. libby1075: life is going to get so ordinary after she graduates
604. ordinaryme: hey dont u have class right now young lady?
605. Emily: Instead of pre-partying I pre-nap here. Oh damn, that's going to go on the quote page. Bloody hell.
606. luva4whales04: omg u short people all u do is make out
607. Mom: God must not make bodies like they used to.
608. sneeziegirl20: guess how much i spent on books yesterday?!?!?!
609. sneeziegirl20: YAY ETTELS
610. squeakegurl: i should sleep too, i'm yawning my head off
611. sneeziegirl20: i'm dancing!
612. (talking about Becca's semester in London) sneeziegirl20: but its all gonna go well!
613. Me: Where are you?
614. Zu: You might as well stamp "I want to get laid on my forhead. I'm yours to take."
615. Zu: Statistically a monkey could get a 25%, so a smart monkey could get 50%.
616. Zu: Who would you buy someone bra straps for $14? Why are you doing that?
617. Onekakmz16:just finished tying someone up for splinting... we had a tea and splinting date
618. (Gilmore Girls) Lane's Mom: And no duck- we don't want the babies to have webbed feet.
619. (I do not remember this, but find it highly amusing)
620. squeakegurl: hahahaha
621. squeakEgurl: say someone gives me enough bananas to feed me for the rest of my life...that's not gonna make me happy
622. Dad(talking to my mom): Pretty soon you'll be a naked lady on a New York billboard.
623. Lynnsie: Do I look like Bill?
624. starmagic0408: i fell asleep in the library today
625. squeakegurl: you don't love me more than toast anymore?
626. libby1075: oh goodness i hate school, i should have become a trash collector or something.
627. starmagic0408: well, he is kinda supposed to ask you out.... haha
628. sneeziegirl20: gah y is life so freaking confusing and complicated?!
629. socerstar: p.s. since when are you allowed to continuously make life decisions while i'm in paris
630. sneeziegirl20: it was fine, we didn't talk about it, haha
631. sneeziegirl20: and she meets lots of boys
Professor: Sex?
633. Professor: "You wouldn't know a well-cooked noodle if it came up and saluted you."
634. Professor: Are you the Emily who was the Emily before?
635. sneeziegirl20: i get to go drive drunk people around in a little bit
636. onekakmz16: apparently talking is out of style these days
637. squeakegurl: ok cool then we can have tea and biscuits and alcohol then
638. squeakegurl: i mostly just had to write the conclusion but that's usually hard for me and i did a good one!
639. sneeziegirl20: that made no sense
640. libby1075: there is a diference between likeing you as a friend and wanting to sleep with you
641. Marietta: Look at the full moon.
642. Chelsea was "communicating with the fridge." She was talking to it, but in its language. Then she started to laugh.
643. A sister(I forget who): Everyone wants to make out with alladin!
644. Chelsea talking about shrinking parts of her body
645. Chels sneezes, then before anyone can say anything she says "Thank You."
646. Doctor: You are rather large breasted for a little woman.
The next few quotes are from my wacky family. Some of them are years old, but they're still really funny.
(a few minutes later)
648. Ted Sr(my uncle, father of Ted Jr.): Hello?
649. Ted(My uncle, father of Julie)(He's up on a roof(he builds houses) when his cell phone, he knows Julie is home alone, so he gets down and answers): Hello? (hears sobbing). Julie? What�s wrong? Are you ok?
650. June(my 23-year-old cousin to our 50-something aunt): We should go out for beers some night!
651. Me: I couldn�t remember the importance of the War of 1812.
652. sneeziegirl20: you need to get less-horny friends
653. Lynnsie(to our RA): You look more attractive with your hair shaved.
654. sneeziegirl20: haha well u know how cats sometimes "talk" to you
655. Me: Cause inside my head is quite different from reality.
656. libby1075: i am so lame and boring
657. onekakmz16: you transferred to university of straightness
658. Christina�s Mother(Grey�s) I always feared you were too emotionally stunted to settle down.
659. ordinaryme21: i have had 5 1/2 glasses of wine and im drunk
660.
ordinaryme21: and wanna kno something wicke dsilly?
661. Mom: She is a B-I-T-C-H. She really personifies that word. Her picture could be in the dictionary!
662. Me to Victoria(my fish): Remind Mommy to defrost some peas for you later.
663. libby1075: she is now the gf
664. Me(talking about the kids I nannied for): But what if I get sick of them?
665. Me: i am much more likely to see a peacock than to find a lesbian in this66 town!
666. 4-year-old: My penis is getting as big as my uncle John�s!
667. 4-year-old: They have blue clocks in England.
668. A car honks at me because I don�t slam on the gas the second the light turns green. Mom sticks her hand out the car window.
669. Me: You need pancakes to make eggs, right?
670. 4 year old: I�ve been feeding Ashley her favorite food.
671. Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
672. 8-year-old: Is that the Ice Cream Truck?
673. Mom: I don�t watch channels like this. I just saw a boy in his underware.
674. Dad: I have a left hand here in need of a fork. And something to fork.
(his way of asking for ice cream while soaking his cut)
675. Me: Do you have those signs? (I look down). Oh, I have the signs.
676. Me: Ok, but be really fast or we�ll be late picking up your sister.
677. Dad: He�s as Maine as a lobster.
678. Me(all freaked out): There�s something in my coffee!
679. (Looking at pictures of me when I was 5 months)
680.
M: I love these letters. They�re beautiful.
681. Marietta(talkingon the phone): Where�s my phone?
682.
Chelsea: Sometimes when I'm driving I wonder where my keys are.
683. Emily: Only you would have fish drama.
684. (Private Practice) Addison: I�m not a prude. I�m from Connecticut.
685. Me: Oh look at Maxwell! (he was all curled up on the chair and looking really cute)
686. Chels: Chris is going to teach me how to surf.
687. ordinaryme: :) can i ask u a question outloud or do i have to IM u?
688. sneeziegirl20: we didn't get battersis at hannaford
689. ordinaryme: chris has never heard of american girl dolls
690. ordinaryme(talking about a teacher we had in middle school): i heard shes like an alcholic now
691. ordinaryme: LESLIE R U STHERE
692. ordinaryme: omg i want something in my mouth
693. Chels: You�re like Derek. He pretends he�s from Connecticut but he�s really from Maine.
694. Me: I could see myself maybe becoming a principal.
695. Me: But if I take the sweater off I�ll be wearing all brown.
696. Me: Will we be at their house yesterday? I mean tomorrow.
697. (from the Ellen DeGeneres Show) Gladys: You know there�s something wrong with the world when you have to hot glue your baby Jesus.
698. Marietta: Maxwell, you�re a pringlehead!
699. (Chels needed a plunger, and I felt like I had seen one, but Marietta said we didn't have one)
700.(Marietta is standing in the living room with x-mas lights draped over her, with her eyes closed)
701. Me: When I woke up this morning I was also excited to see how much of my window was covered by snow but I could still see blades of grass and I still can now!
702. Marietta(explaining the things that she and Chelsea have in common): And we both have a cat named Maxwell!
703. (Chels makes a weird sound)
704. Chels: I was being smartastic.
squeakEgurl: gasp i will write Shrub a nasty letter if that gets passed!
squeakEgurl: growling
sneeziegirl20: hehe
squeakEgurl: biting!
sneeziegirl20: biting?
sneeziegirl20 what r u biting?
squeakEgurl: shrubby
Me: Bless you. Why did I say bless you?
squeakEgurl: taking over*
sneeziegirl20: ah i c, that confused me i thought u were saying something about grover
Zu: What happens when you eat a magic cookie bar?
Me: I become magical!
Zu: I want you to put on a pink tu-tu and go dance on Skinner green to the walnut, I mean nutcracker suite- topless.
mousify: i mean map
(sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: nap?
mousify: ARHG
mousify: NAP.
mousify: NNNNN!!!!
sneeziegirl20: haha
mousify: My n key and I have mutual disagreemets with each other sometime.
mousify: ...
mousify: I kid you not.
sneeziegirl20: haha i see...
Emily: Do you want me to write that down?
Zu: No.
Zu: I hate when that happens.
squeakEgurl: yea mine is trying to sneak away
Zu: Do it and you won't have a finger.
squeakEgurl: or people with a missing foot
squeakEgurl: just to see
Onekakmz16: i'll beat it with a stick while you run away and hide
squeakEgurl: o it's ashley, b/c she's a nut
squeakEgurl: so she said yea she's a macadamia
squeakEgurl20: and i'm an almond
squeakEgrul: heahksjdfla we're nuts
Me: Come in!
Heather: I totally meant to go to my room but I came here by accident!
Me: I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to myself.
Cone(really responding to something else): I think it happens pretty frequently.
Heather: Yeah, are you ready?
Emily: yeah are you ready?
Emily: And what psych disorder is that?
Zu: Cannibalism, self-cannibalism.
squeakEgurl: heaven in a mug
squeakEgurl: ok?
sneeziegirl20: oh well
squeakEgurl20: and i'm not doing anything but if i was i would have no idea what it was
squeakeEgurl: what
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: y what?
squeakEgurl: b/c i got confused by my own sentence
sneeziegirl20: i'm supposed to be working on this paper!
squeakEgurl: Leslie's Philosophy
squeakEgurl: or or The Philosophy of Leslie
sneeziegirl20: but then i discovered that i wasn't
onekakmz16: you had to try to figure that out? wow, mhc standards really are dropping
sneeziegirl20: her words not mine
sneeziegirl20: y? does she miss it?
onekamz16: *-/
sneeziegirl20: YES
onekamz16: eek
onekamz16: *scared*
onekamz16: *hiding*
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: she says she was kidding
onekamz16: uh huh, i've heard that one before
Zu: No, its colorful. It's been coming out all semester. My bed is colorful too; our beds should get together!
Heather: But its not latex.
Zu: Then it will have little beds.
Emily: What were you going to be? Teacher? Astronaut?
sneeziegirl20: where'd it go?
squeakiegurl: i don't kno...
squeakEgurl: it went to hide
sneeziegirl20: why did it stop?
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: this is strange
squeakEgurl: it was jealous b/c u were eating cookies
Heather: Oh yeah, when was the last time you knitted?
Heather: What?
Emily: I don't remember.
Emily: I've been anxious for the past couple of days.
Heather: I smell like shit.
Zu: Poking things.
socerstar: if she comes home with him i will kill her
socerstar: and laugh
sneeziegirl20: haha
socerstar: mostly just laugh
socerstar: and take pictures
socerstar: and laugh
Zu: What? You have gays in your closet? (calls to closet) Come on out gays!
squeakEgurl: YUCK
sneeziegirl20: or somethign like that i forget when i get up on tuesdays
sneeziegirl20: hopefully i'll remember soon
squeakEgurl: hahaha
sneeziegirl20: but really cook!
squeakEgurl: that is really funny!
squeakEgurl: so is cook
Zu: What? You've sold your butt on e-bay?
sneeziegirl20: it all went away on vacation
sneeziegirl20: and left me here all alone
sneeziegirl20: at the mercy of the evil finals gods
sneeziegirl20: who laugh and scream at me
sneeziegirl20: as i wither on the ground in pain
Me: Yeah, she found one of the goats.
Me: I don't, but I don't know about you.
Emily: I probably do. Who knows. I'm confused. Life confuses me.
Emily: Well I'm two.
Me: You mean "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"
Mom: Oh... Yeah.
Becca: Great! Actually it was boring.
Mom: Pretzels are our friend.
sqeakEgurl: heheh
sneeziegirl20 ah! my fingers aren't listenig to my brain tongihte
sneeziegirl20: they have a mind of their own
squeakEgurl: i SHOULD OMG
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: u did that with robillard once
sneeziegirl20: after mark robillard from university of virginia friended me
sqeakEgurl: i did?
sqeakeEgurl: did u mean You did it?
sneeziegirl20: oops i did
sneeziegirl20: hehe see what i'm telling you
sneeziegirl20: my fingers have a mind of their own
squeakEgurl: heheheh i was confused....like, i didn't remember doing that!
sneeziegirl20:haha yeah, i can see why u were confused
sneeziegirl20: i would have been too
sneeziegirl20: well actually i was
sqeakEurl: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: becaue i hadn't relized i had typed that
squeakEgurl: straaaange
sneeziegirl20: o that is weird
sneeziegirl20: imagine if u were marietta marietta!
sneeziegirl20: i was gonna take a shower around 10
squeakEgurl: oops!
sneeziegirl20: i'm trying to make myself get off the computer and take a shower
sqeakEgurl: ok, i'll ttyl then
sneeziegirl20: o right yeah thanks for reminding me
sneeziegirl20: i forgot i was supposed to be getting off for a minute there
squeakEgurl: hahahahhahah
squeakEgurl: NUT!
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: i'm a cashew
sneeziegirl20: a chocolate covered cashew
sneeziegirl20: they're so yummy
sneeziegirl20: i want some
squeakEgurl: YAY
sqeakEgurl: !
squeakEgurl: i'm an almond and ashley is a macadamia
sneeziegirl20: uh oh does that mean i want to eat myself?
squeakEgurl: we have tshirts that say "Certified Nut"
squeakEgurl: me too!!
sqeakEburl: how could someone not
sqeakEgurl: gasp, that would be unheard of
sneeziegirl20: haha
sqeakEgurl: ;-)
sneeziegirl20: hehehe
sqeakEgurl: i guess that wouldn't match up
sneeziegirl20: no
sqeakEgurl: perhaps it was the beautiful leaves of fall...
Me: Yes it's night. Are you awake?
Mom: No. I don't know what I am.
sneeziegirl20: oh yay!
sneeziegirl20: like a prayer!
squeakEgurl: what
sneeziegirl20: by madonna
squeakEgurl: oooh, i thought u meant u were suggesting to bring a prayer?>
340. sneeziegirl20: that
sneziegirl20 s too ba
sqeakEgurl: d
sqeakEgurl: yes
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: thanks for finishing my word
sqeakEgurl: hehe
sqeakEgurl: no prob, what are friends for?
Me: Sweet dreams!
Dad: What? Say cheese?
Me: No! Sweet dreams!
Me: Its July 3rd.
Mom: Oh.
Becca: You shoot people! It's fun!
Me: Then why do you keep on yelling at me?
Dad: To save our lives.
socerstar: i like being there its like playing store
sneeziegirl20: have fun with harry!
socerstar: u make it sound so dirty
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: i didn't mean it to!
socerstar: hahaha
socerstar: menopause?
sneezigirl20: hehe i don't know
sneeziegirl20: i've been getting hot flashes lately
socerstar: weird
sneeziegirl20: but i got my period a few weeks ago so i don't think so!
sneeziegirl20: sometimes i think i'm in menopause tho
socerstar: hahahaha
socerstar: lets hope not
sneeziegirl20: hehe that would not be good
socerstar: and when can i see you next!
sneeziegirl20: i don't know
sneeziegirl20: tomorrow i'm in the store
sneeziegirl20: for the rest of my life most likely
Me: Cookies normally do.
Shaili: When did you hear it? Oh! Cause you're looking at study abroad stuff?
Me: Yeah.
Shaili: You're a nerd!
onekakmz16: i finished hours ago when i gave up
onekakmz16: the prof can jump off a cliff if he doesn't like it
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: u tell that to him
onekakmz16: i would if i could say it in French
sneeziegirl20: not quite sure when that will be as this will be another crazy week...
sneeziegirl20: but hopefully sometime before we are 40
Me: Good thing you have a store.
Mom: Yeah and good thing it's a cheese store. Its good that I don't have a computer store. Then I'd just bring home computers. But I am not very good with computers so that wouldn't be good either.
Me: No, I live in room 309. Where do you live?
Shaili: Oh right. I live in room 309 too.
Shaili: I would if I were a fish.
onekakmz16: are you kidding?
sneeziegirl20: gah i know
sneeziegirl20: i was being hopeful that all those people i see walking around outside with umbrellas just liked walking around with umbrellas
starmagic0408: reading about childbirth?!?! after vegas night? ....oh dear
starmagic0408: lol
sneeziegirl20: hahahaha
starmagic0408: sorry i couldn't resist
starmagic0408: heehee
sneeziegirl20: maybe i was supposed to read it before vegas night....
starmagic0408: yeah... about that
sneeziegirl20: and i was saying how i didn't like it b/c i couldn't see what u were doing every minute of every day and that i couldn't procrastinate by talking to u!
Prof Olver: I wasn't about to go out for coffee.
sneeziegirl20: o cool!
sneeziegirl20: but do u know that they speak portugese in brazil?
squeakEgurl: CRAP UR RIGHT
sneeziegirl20: i fell of my bed yesterday!
squeakEgurl: hahahah! what/!
squeakEgurl: ?!*
sneeziegirl20: i was lying on my bed and was trying to put a book back on my bookshelf without getting up but it was a tad too far and i kinda rolled off
sneeziegirl20: it was funny
sneeziegirl20: but also kinda embarasing cause steph was here!
squeakEgurl: hehehe
squeakEgurl: oh sillypants
sneeziegirl20: she was like "did u just fall off your bed?"
squeakEgurl: hahahah
sneeziegirl20: and i was like "yup"
squeakEgurl: hehe
sneeziegirl20: cause she heard the thud and at first just thought it was the book but then she saw the top of my head
squeakEgurl: hahahahha
sneeziegirl20: and realized it was me
Me: That�s ok, we're all nuts.
Shaili: It's a good thing nuts are tasty. And liked by most people.
Emily: Oh good! I'll go then!
Me: Emily, don't you have a home show that day?
Emily: Oh crap you're right!
Girl: That describes most of the campus.
sneeziegirl20: and we don't want to poison anyone
sneeziegirl20: that would be against safety wise
Elizabetsy23: yeah I think it might be
(For non-Girl Scouts- Safetywise is basically the bible of Girl Scouting- it has all the rules of everything you can and can not do.)
Professor Barale: There's a little something to offend everyone.
Professor Olver: It's erotic.
Professor Barale: Yes, that's what I meant, it is erotic.
Prof Olver: How do you mean that?
Daisy: But he's going to be spongebob.
Mom: I know.
Daisy: What's scary about a sponge?
Dad(talking to my mom)
: Next time Steve Walker stops by, take him down to the bathroom and tell him to go to the bathroom and make sure that it's number 2. The seat is cracked so it pinches your ass.
sunyxum: HAHAHAHAHAH....dance
sunyxum: do the tango with Shaili
squeakEgurl: it's molesting u
sneeziegirl20: ah!
sneeziegirl20: oh!
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20: *punch*
sqeakEgurl: hahahahhaHAHAHAHA
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20:*knee in you know where*
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20: *hammer fist*
squeakEgurl: HAHAHHAHAH
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20: *foot stomp!*
sneeziegirl20: there that should do it
sneeziegirl20: now i run!
squeakEgurl: HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
sneeziegirl20: hehe practicing my self defence techniques on your away message!
squeakEgurl: hahahahah
sneeziegirl20: mama aand papa hand are having troule controlling all ten little fingers
sneeziegirl20: halloween is their least favorite holiday, but their children's favorite holiday
Me: No! I never knew!
Marietta: It's a big secret.
Me: I've never been friends with a robot before!
sneeziegirl20: o frst
sneeziegirl20: *o dear
onekakmz16: i kind of like your typos
onekakmz16: it makes me realize you don't have to be drugged to mess typing up
sneeziegirl20: haha
onekakmz16: you tend to do it a lot
sneezigirl20: haha i know
sneezigirl20: my fingers don't like to cooperate
sneezigirl20: they have a mind of their own
onekamz16: frst is clearly translated in lesliese as dear
starmagic0408: oh really?
starmagic0408: what the hell is that supposed to mean?
starmagic0408: are you going to start dancing the flamenco or something?
onekakmz16: it'll be a party
onekakmz16: not really, but we can pretend
sneeziegirl20: haha, r u pregnant?
Elizabetsy23: yeah and that is going to solve your problem
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: yeah i'll be like "i was in a car accident and i think i have whiplash" and they'll be like "no! of course not! u r really pregnant!"
sneeziegirl20: hehe brings
sneeziegirl20: i speak wonderful english
onekakmz16: yeah, you're doing great
sneeziegirl20: last night i said "its very raining!"
onekakmz16: are you sure you're even monolingual?
sneeziegirl20: and iw asn't typing that
sneeziegirl20: i actually said it
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: maybe english isn't my first language
onekakmz16: maybe russian was your first language in a previous lifetime?
sneeziegirl20: maybe i'm not from this planet
sneeziegirl20: haha
onekakmz16: eeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
sneeziegirl20: when i was in fourth grade i wrote this whole story about i was really from the Planet Squirrelly
sneeziegirl20: and i discribed all about the planet
sneeziegirl20: and its educational system, what hotels, cars, and gas stations were like
onekakmz16: uh...
onekakmz16: maybe we can't be friends anymore
onekakmz16: i'm tolerant but not of aliens
onekakmz16: they creep me out
sneeziegirl20: yes
onekakmz16: we just keep talking about you coming over...
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: yes i suppose that means that i should stand up, get off
the computer, and walk in the direction of wilder
sneeziegirl20: well actually i have to walk in the opposite direction first or i will walk into a wall
onekakmz16: i would agree with that
sneeziegirl20: well i could jumpt out the window but that might not be very good
squeakEgurl: GAH
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: thanks ettels
sneeziegirl20: its nice to have someone gahing with me
squeakEgurl: hehe
squeakEgurl: a little support
sneeziegirl20: i haven't seen it
squeakEgurl: i thought Atoosa was such a real, genuine person
squeakEgurl: but she's a bitch
sneeziegirl20: oh i love atoosa!
sneeziegirl20:: atoosa from cosmo girl?
sneeziegirl20: well she usted to be at cosmo girl
sneeziegirl20: now she's at seventeen
squeakEgurl: on this show she's just OUT to create drama between the girls
sneeziegirl20: really?
squeakEgurl: i hate it
sneeziegirl20: that's so sad
sneeziegirl20: it crushes my reality
squeakEgurl: i thought she was so cool
sneeziegirl20: i have no idea waht that is supposed to mean
sneeziegirl20: but i know i always loved her!
sneeziegirl20: she was so nice and caring!
sneeziegirl20:she seemed like she loved and cared about each and everyone of us!
squeakEgurl: i know!
squeakEgurl: but no
squeakEgurl: you should watch the show
sneeziegirl20: its a sham?
squeakEgurl: she does stuff to create shit
squeakEgurl: YES
squeakEgurl: i HATE IT
squeakEgurl: lkajsdgkadfkgjalkfjaskdjgkljgakjdflksjdf;sjdfaklsjdfjkjskfdl
sneeziegirl20: THAT'S HORRIBLE!
(23:01:16) Marietta: i KNOW
(23:01:19) Marietta: it makes me angry
sneeziegirl20: ME TOO
squeakEgurl: grr
sneeziegirl20: it makes me so sad
squeakEgurl: i know, me too
sneeziegirl20: now i've lost all faith in humanity
squeakEgurl: i really had hope
squeakEgurl: i know
squeakEgurl: seriously!
squeakEgurl: she's crushed our dreams!
squeakEgurl: i know!
sneeziegirl20: we should write her a letter and tell her that she's crushed our dreams
sneeziegirl20: we no longer want to be in thw white house by 2024
sneeziegirl20: instead we are dropping out of college, getting hooked on drugs and going to have babies
sneeziegirl20: and not know who the daddies are
squeakEgurl: !
sneeziegirl20: hehe i feel british
sneeziegirl20: fancy
onekakmz16: more like assissted fish suicide
onekakmz16: just fyi
sneeziegirl20: makes an old man wise
sneeziegirl20: or something like that
squeakEgurl: hahahaha
sneeziegirl20: makes someone wise
squeakEgurl: me!
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: makes ettels wise!
squeakEgurl: yay!
squeakEgurl: EXACTLY
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: i knew u were going to say that in all caps!
squeakEgurl:: hahahahahah
sneeziegirl20: i have espn!
squeakEgurl: oh les, that is a testament to friendship
squeakEgurl: i cannot finish thissssssssssss
sneeziegirl20: oh dear
squeakEgurl: hA! i knew you were going to say that!
squeakEgurl: see? i can do it too!
squeakEgurl: ESPN!
sneeziegirl20: stop killing my darling ettels you stupid speech!
squeakEgurl:and my stomach doesn't like me very much right now either
squeakEgurl: i may have to hire you as my bodyguard leslie
squeakEgurl: hehehe
squeakEgurl: things attack me a lot
(23:13:32) Leslie: ok!
(23:13:36) Leslie: hehe
squeakEgurl: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: o dear
sneeziegirl20: not good
squeakEgurl: no, but luckily i think you can handle them, here are some examples: my hair (attacks me a lot), this speech, public speaking in general, sometimes food...
sneeziegirl20: good night!
sneeziegirl20: sleep tight!
sneeziegirl20: don't let the bugs bite!
squeakEgurl: hehehe thanks, same to you
sneeziegirl20: oh bed bugs
squeakEgurl: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: don't let the bedbugs bite
sneeziegirl20: i knew i was forgetting something
onekakmz16: and me being me my mind went in the worst possible direction with that one
onekakmz16:: now it's your turn to pull it out of the gutter...
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: oh zu
sneeziegirl20: i cleaned the fish tank!
sneeziegirl20: or to steal a kid
onekakmz16: um, i advise against both
onekakmz16: keep the fish for another couple of months
onekakmz16: then move to rodents
onekakmz16: it's a whole process
Student: gay
Me: Well do you think you�ll mess up?
Emily: Oh, I didn�t think of that. I meant for my project.
Me: Emily, I have no idea what your project is.
Zu: Go ahead and use all the cliches while you're at it- thick and thin, bad times and good, for richer or pooer-
Me: Are we getting married?
Zu: Well we could in Massachussets. I don't think I'm really in a state to get married right now. And I don't want a winter wedding. So I'm sorry I can't accept. Except I proposed. So I'm rejecting my own proposal. I'm rejecting myself.
sneeziegirl20: but i'm sending u a virtual mother face with lips pierced and eybrows raised
squeakEgurl: WHAT ooh pursed
squeakEgurl: not pierced
sneeziegirl20: haha yeah
squeakEgurl: tehe
sneeziegirl20: haha what a mother i am
sneeziegirl20: with pierced lips
squeakEgurl: haha
sneeziegirl20: i had a brief moment of having no idea what month it was
sneeziegirl20: spanish spanish spanish
socerstar: your day not your dad i assume?
sneeziegirl20:: day
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: lol
socerstar: im glad we are both typing so well tonight
sneeziegirl20: my dad will be spanish tomorrow
sneeziegirl20: he will wake up and not be french anymore
sneeziegirl20:: insted he will be spanish
sneeziegirl20: and he will start talking spanish
sneeziegirl20: it will be la tienda del queso
socerstar: hahahahahaha
socerstar: goodnight less
sneeziegirl20: and he will wear a sombraro!
Me: Do you mean J-walk?
Mom: Yeah, that's what I've decided to call it.
Mom: You can be their token white girl.
onekakmz16: hey, what's up?
sneeziegirl20: nm u?
onekakmz16: we're in the middle of the cops & robbers party
sneeziegirl20: ah
sneeziegirl20: ok i'll let u go then
onekakmz16: they decided i needed to be a cop with a shirt and tie
sneeziegirl20: haha
onekakmz16: so we went online to learn how to tie a tie
onekakmz16: ie we're big dorks
Kalyn: Because that's when the year ends.
sneeziegirl20: its flying around every where
starmajic0408 but you have your swiffer right?
sneeziegirl20: i dusted my disk but i swear there is still dust on it
starmagic0408: you can swiff-swiff it all away!
sneeziegirl20: yup
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: omg i'm on crack
sneeziegirl20: lol
starmagic0408: who else would say something like that?!?!?!!
starmagic0408: zu would laugh at me
sneeziegirl20: haha only u
sneeziegirl20: haha yes
starmagic0408: oh yes!
starmagic0408: definately
sneeziegirl20: we three kings of orient are!
starmagic0408: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: haha when i said we three it made me think of the song
starmagic0408: can i be a queen of orient?
sneeziegirl20: haha sure
sneeziegirl20:: go away!
starmagic0408: maybe if you yell at them they will get scared and go away
starmagic0408: except then they might just go back under the bed!
sneeziegirl20: imagine when i have a house
sneeziegirl20: ah i don't want to think about it
starmagic0408: wait you do live in safford right?
starmagic0408: omg i'm dumb
starmagic0408: oh well
Leslie: ah
starmagic0408: my head just felt like someone had filled it with fluff
starmagic0408: there was nothing there, really
starmagic0408: kinda like those ads: it's 11:00 do u know where ur car is?
starmagic0408: hahahaaa
starmagic0408: i'm sooo weird
starmagic0408: a simsburyite or longmeadowite!
Wendy: Maybe your cell phone is gay and didn't want to come out of the closet.
sneeziegirl20: ok, i have to get dressed first though
onekakmz16: no nudest colony today?
sneeziegirl20: i told you u'd fall in love with a frat boy
sneeziegirl20: remember i told you i saw it in my crystal ball?
squeakEgurl: hahaha i didn't fall in love!
squeakEgurl: hahahah
sneeziegirl20: haha yet!
sneeziegirl20: u didn't fall in love yet!
squeakEgurl: hahah
sneeziegirl20: but you're going to fall in love, get married, have lots of children, and name them after frats and sorrorities
squeakEgurl: hahahahahhahahahahah
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: :-D
squeakEgurl: haha
sneeziegirl20: that's what my crystal ball says
squeakEgurl: ah, good
squeakEgurl: hehe, i'm glad to have acredited sources at hand
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: yes especially b/c i actually have a crystal ball
sneeziegirl20: or not
squeakEgurl: hahahah
sneeziegirl20: its an invisible crystal ball
sneeziegirl20: those r the best kinds
squeakEgurl: haha
sneeziegirl20: they r the most accurate
socerstar: I AM GOING INSANE
sneeziegirl20: haha o dear
sneeziegirl20: well every psych major is a little crazy so i guess they're making extra sure by making you crazy with that course
onekakmz16: yeah, that's the caffeine taking hold
sneeziegirl20:: plus i'm gong crazy
sneeziegirl20:: i'm singing and talking to myself
onekakmz16: how is that any different from normal?
onekakmz16: "go to the library or a friend of yours may come hunt you down and drag you to the library anyway"
sneeziegirl20: haha
onekakmz16: "it will be less painful this way"
Me: Oh! Thanks for reminding me! I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it!
onekakmz16: oh boy, you're gifted
onekakmz16: you're special in that short school bus kind of way
Leslie: Because you had no idea where I was.
Zu: (pauses) Oh right. I had to think about that for a minute.
Mom: Twelve to noon.
sneeziegirl20: hello!
sneeziegirl20: feels like morning to me since i just woke up about half an hour ago
onekakmz16: same here
onekakmz16: but i was just being PC
sneeziegirl20: haha
onekakmz16: that tends to happen when you've been at mhc for a year or so
sneeziegirl20: haha yes
sneeziegirl20: its not a hole yet though
sneeziegirl20: but probably will be soon if i keep wearing them
onekakmz16: that could be a fun look with bright spandex
onekakmz16: that was amazing bootleg quality
sneeziegirl20: o u mean quality wise
onekakmz16: well, not exactly
onekakmz16: but that doesn't hurt
sneeziegirl20: cause if u meant other movies about gay cowboys the answer would be no
socerstar: yummy
socerstar: i want some
socerstar: o wait i'm jewish
socerstar: damn
socerstar: but in a good way
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: thanks for the clarification
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: are u going to become a roofer?
socerstar: and apparently i'm not scared of heights
socerstar: i think so
sneeziegirl20: oh good
sneeziegirl20: haha
socerstar: if the cheese store falls through
socerstar: i love your procrastination
sneeziegirl20: i hate it
sneeziegirl20: glad someone loves it
starmagic0408: hopefully it's at least walnut-sized
starmagic0408: hahaha
SuperStarNeville: or if your lucky a brazil nut
superStarNeville: those are quite large
Shaili: Studying? What's that? I think I've forgotten the meaning of that word. It's left the building. And it won't be coming back anytime soon.
sneeziegirl20: ah
sneeziegirl20: can u have decaf?
onekakmz16: yeah
onekakmz16:it's the caffeine
sneeziegirl20: o ok so u can just get decaf
onekakmz16: i didn't think about that
onekakmz16: i'm dumb
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: oh zu
sneeziegirl20: ah!
sneeziegirl20: oh goodness
sneeziegirl20: i didn't know there was an irish mob
sneeziegirl20: they don't seem very mobish to me
squeakEgurl:i know me either
squeakEgurl: i know haha
squeakEgurl: altho they are tough i guess
sneeziegirl20: italian yes
sneeziegirl20: russian yes
sneeziegirl20:but italian not really
squeakEgurl: yeah
sneeziegirl20: they just get drunk
sneeziegirl20: why were u drinking vinegar???????
socerstar: it made sense at the time
sneeziegirl20: ?
socerstar: haha
socerstar: i don't know we were being immature at dinner
socerstar: and we have shirts
sneeziegirl20: i thought u went to middlebury
socerstar: from legend of the hidden temple
sneeziegirl20: your supposed to be smart
socerstar: i thought so too
socerstar: no this semester has proved otherwise
socerstar: school is hard
sneeziegirl20: because u have shirts u drink vineigar?
sneeziegirl20: haha
socerstar: sort of
socerstar: i don't know
libby1075: maybe i should tkae a nap...
libby1075:that was a very conected thought to me
sneeziegirl20: haha i don't know
sneeziegirl20: u tell me!
socerstar: i don't know
socerstar: cause u are interesting
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: why thank u!
sneeziegirl20: i have low iron
sneeziegirl20: so they wouldn't take my blood today
sneeziegirl20: when i tried to give it away
sneeziegirl20: haha
socerstar: that's sad
socerstar: eat a steak
sneeziegirl20: no more listening tome ramble?
sneeziegirl20: i should finish this e-mail so i can go to bed
sneeziegirl20: mmmm sleep
sneeziegirl20: i like sleeep
sneeziegirl20: it makes me happy
sneeziegirl20: but i see so little of it
sneeziegirl20: keep it precious!
sneeziegirl20: says melissa
socerstar: you are insane
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: :-D
sneeziegirl20: that's why i'm a psych major!
sneeziegirl20: yes
sneeziegirl20: i like eating
libby1075: sorry pretend that was a normal way of asking if you have dinner plans
sneeziegirl20: haha ok
sneeziegirl20: no i don't
libby1075: :-D i love being awkward
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: ho
socerstar: ho?
socerstar did u call my mom a ho
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: no h/o
Me: What's wrong?
Zu: My sandwich just came out! I's gay!
sneeziegirl20: haha yes
squeakEgurl: what's her name? i'm stalking her
squeakEgurl: but i can't...
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: then u would have medium guy!
squeakEgurl: hahahahahhaha
squeakEgurl: perfect!
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: i can't even spell spanish in spanish
starmagic0408: haha
starmagic0408: or did i spell it right?
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: espanol
sneeziegirl20: i think in french its speled espagnol
sneeziegirl20: and apparantlyi can't spell "spelled" in English
onekakmz16: as a stress-reliever
squeakEgurl: why not?
sneeziegirl20: ah ok, just wondering, its not exactly a normal college student activity
sneeziegirl20: well, maybe it should be
sneeziegirl20: my kindergarteners at gorse play with legos
squeakEgurl: i won
squeakEgurl: haha
squeakEgurl: o good i'm glad u won
squeakEgurl: yes, otherwise i'd be on the floor wrapped in tape and i couldn't type
starmagic0408: i guess depending on how much i eat of it tonight i might return it
starmagic0408: hahahaa... omg im sooooo wierd!
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: in fact, i'd probably be ahead
onekakmz16: we should just watch a movie instead
onekakmz16: that's always the answer to anything in college
sneeziegirl20 haha
onekakmz16: tired? watch a movie
onekakmz16: hungry? watch a movie and eat popcorn
sneeziegirl20: big gust of wind
sneeziegirl20: it almost blew me away
sneeziegirl20: and its blowing all my stuff
libby1075: oh dear close teh window before you all die
libby1075: because your stuff is now people
sneeziegirl20: that's where i get my medical knowledge
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: haha
starmagic0408: glad you're not my doctor!
sneeziegirl20: ew
socerstar: i hate history
sneeziegirl20: haha
socerstar: why did i decide to push myself
socerstar: I NEVER PUSH MYSELF
Onekakmz16: it's kind of weird to have no pants on in your room
Emily: Oops, maybe I should have had strange twitches or said weird things.
Me: You do say weird things.
Emily: Oh, right.
Mom: Who?
Dad: Ed.
Mom: There is no Ed running. Do you mean Ned?
Dad: Oh. Yeah.
sneeziegirl20: i have already invited myself
squeakEgurl: haha yay! and pregame!
sneeziegirl20: but not until all the children are gone
ordinaryme: LESLIE U ARE A MOTHER
sneeziegirl20: its not right!
sneeziegirl20: we can't drink with children around!
sneeziegirl20: it's a bad influence plus we'd scare them!
ordinaryme: haha u will be a mother for halloween
sneeziegirl20: lol
ordinaryme: haha noooo we will pregame with children around, they will laugh
sneeziegirl20: NO!
sneeziegirl20: they will not laugh!
sneeziegirl20: Leslie: they will be scared!
530. Thelma: You've had a tough deal Cassie McBaine. Your dad disappeared, your mother's a nutter.
Cassie: And my best friend is a lesbian ghost.
Thelma: Life sucks.
Cassie: Oh, and there's one other thing. Apparantly I'm a witch.
Thelma: Well, I could have told you that.
Cassie: What are you talking about? Lesbians have kids all the time these days.
Thelma: Dead ones don't.
Thelma: Well I'm told when a man and woman love each other very much
Cassie: It almost always ends in tears.
Thelma: That's heterosexuality for you.
Me: Yeah, if I don't fall over first.
Chels: We can still eat if you fall over. You can just stand up first and then we can eat.
libby1075: hehehehehehe
sneeziegirl20: ohhhh?
libby1075: can't find my skin lotion this is getting rather difficult
libby1075: my skin always majorly dries out during the changes of the seasons
libby1075: back to my secret
sneeziegirl20: that's your secret?
sneeziegirl20: oh haha ok
libby1075: sorry got distracted
sneeziegirl20:: YAY!
sneeziegirl20: now your lotion can stop itnerupting our important conversation!
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: y r u a gossip?
sneeziegirl20: u r talking about yourself
sneeziegirl20: that is y they are scared of u
sneeziegirl20: but it sounds like u r doing a good job of corrupting them
libby1075: i sure am trying!! :-D
libby1075:: if they get it from me enough then they will be happier in the long run
libby1075: i'm not scary at all
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: oh libby i love you
sneeziegirl20: u make me laugh outloud
sneeziegirl20: my roomie probably think i'm crazy
libby1075: someone has to love me
sneeziegirl20: i keep laughing outloud b/c of things u say
libby1075: oh you are just bringing the moho spirit with you
sneeziegirl20: haha this is true
sneeziegirl20: emily used to laugh for no reason
sneeziegirl20: i would turn around and she would just be sitting ther laughing
libby1075: not talking to anyone?
sneeziegirl20: nope
libby1075: oh dear
libby1075: now that is a reason to be afraid
sneeziegirl20: but i love her too
libby1075: love me more
libby1075: i need it more than she does
libby1075: ??
sneeziegirl20: no!
sneeziegirl20: we don't!
sneeziegirl20: it is sad!
libby1075: i'm sorry :'(
libby1075: all colleges should be forced to have one
squeakEgurk: i am dancing in my chair
sqeakEgurl: we are friends
sqeakEgurl: at the moment
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: r u not always freinds?
sqeakEgurl: no not always
sqeakEgurl: we have disagreements
sneeziegirl20: considering the song is called "Damn I Wish I was your Lover"
sneeziegirl20: i bought oj without pulp but i like it with lots of pulp
ordinaryme21: yes
ordinaryme21: i am sitting on him
(23:24:04) Leslie: o dear!
(23:24:06) Leslie: how ?
ordinaryme21:: on tha booboo
(23:25:05) Leslie: yes that makes total sense
ordinaryme21: crap
ordinaryme21: on the playground
ordinaryme21: hahahah ok can i carry him around in a basket?
sneeziegirl20: i got a RECTAL THERMAMOTER
ordinaryme21:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHA
ordinaryme21: whoa that was a strage thought haha
ordinaryme21: i am reading too much about transgendered people
Dad: What else is new?
sneeziegirl20: haha i'm sure- that's what happens at co-ed school
sneeziegirl20: it must smell WONDERFUL in your house!
ordinaryme21: it probably does, i cant tell cause ive been in here
ordinaryme21: maybe i'll walk outside and then back in so i can smell my house
sneeziegirl20: MEEEE!
sneeziegirl20: I'M THAT GIRL!
ordinaryme21: lol
ordinaryme21: ur so silly
ordinaryme21: wow
ordinaryme21: i forgot an m and a p in that sentance
ordinaryme21: it would be so funny
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: and i would like die
ordinaryme21: i would stay here just to see that
sneeziegirl20: and that would be sad
sneeziegirl20: because then i wouldd only have one day of being 21
ordinaryme21: haha aww sad
ordinaryme21: then it ended
ordinaryme21: and then marietta was like "WAIT...
ordinaryme21: BONUS FEATURES"
ordinaryme21: so i lay down on the floor on my belly and giggled and flopped around like a fishy
ordinaryme21: and marietta and maxwell just watched me
ordinaryme21: who the hell is boby flay
ordinaryme21: ur boyfriend?
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: no
sneeziegirl20: he's a famous cook guy
sneeziegirl20: don't u watch food network?
ordinaryme21: no
ordinaryme21: why would i do that?
ordinaryme21: it is silly
ordinaryme21: tv
sneeziegirl20: because its fun!
ordinaryme21: is about
ordinaryme21: stories
ordinaryme21: not cooking
sneeziegirl20: oh but i like food network!
ordinaryme21: thats silly
sneeziegirl20: i like Paula Dean, Barefoot Contessa, Emril, Sandra Lee
ordinaryme21: who are these people
sneeziegirl20: ON THE FOOD NETWORK
ordinaryme21: WELL HOT DAMN
ordinaryme21: how am i supposed to know that?
sneeziegirl20: you just are!
ordinaryme21: i'm glad that i'm now a food network psychic
ordinaryme21: thats good to hear
ordinaryme21: maybe i should just go sit in a corner and predict things
sneeziegirl20: chinese would not have good drinks i think
sneeziegirl20: so that is out
ordinaryme21: well cris says that chinese places have VOLCANOS
sneeziegirl20: why would i want a volcano?
sneeziegirl20:i don't want to blow up
ordinaryme21: volcanos are big massive alcoholic drinks
sneeziegirl20: ohhh
ordinaryme21: um volcanos erupt anyways
sneeziegirl20: they sound scary
ordinaryme21: not blow up
ordinaryme21: gosh
ordinaryme21: dont u know anything about anything?
sneeziegirl20: i know lots of things about lots of things!
sneeziegirl20: I KNOW ABOUT THE FOOD NETWORK
sneeziegirl20: AND YOU DO NOT
ordinaryme21: that is SO lame
ordinaryme21: food network is not even real
ordinaryme21: its ur imagination at work
Mom: They're heading north though.
Dad: They're going to pick up a friend and then they're heading south.
Mom: Oh, ok.
ordinaryme21: good plan?
sneeziegirl20: well if they think u should have them removed
sneeziegirl20: u can't just go and say "take my tonsils out, i don't want them anymore"
Me: Yeah, if I don't kill myself first.
Chelsea: Well call me if you do.
Me: Call you if I die? Ok, I'll call you on the way to heaven.
sneeziegirl20: i went to get water
sneeziegirl20: i was parched
ordinaryme21: im glad u hAVE NOT TURNED INTO A RAISEN
576.Rosie: Did you know that they're now selling, can I even say this, hair dye for down there?
Me: You'll never get married without me there? That's nice to know.
socerstar: he's in a play in london
socerstar: and he gets naked!
sneeziegirl20: hahahahaha
sneeziegirl20: you must be very excited
sneeziegirl20: is this the reason why you are going to london?
sneeziegirl20: you just tried to make us think that it was for academic reasons when the only reason why you wanted to go there was to see harry potter naked?
socerstar: YUP
socerstar: hahaha
socerstar: so true
socerstar: i'd work every shift at amicis anyways
sneesocerstar: haha this is true
snsneeziegirl20: and the cheese store before chirstmas
sneeziegirl20: don't forget the cheese store
sneeziegirl20: my mommy will give u real lmoney this tme
socerstar: of course
socerstar: no she doesn't get to give me real money
socerstar: she pays me in cheese
sneeziegirl20: haha as opposed to something ugly?
sneeziegirl20: i agree
sneeziegirl20: YES!
sneeziegirl20: that's what i told you!
starmagic0408: i know but i got excited and then i forgot
starmagic0408: too many boys and too much beer
onekakmz16: NO!
onekakmz18: you can't tell him that!
onekakmz16: everything but the last part about stalking
Me: Yes.
Mom: If you googled the name, do you think something would come up?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Like stores where you could get them? In Connecticut.
Me: Yes. Would you like me to do that?
Mom: Like on your computer in the other room?
Me: Yes.
libby1075: i know which is why i'm getting her full name for you
sneeziegirl20: haha yay
sneeziegirl20: um
sneeziegirl20: not exactly
sneeziegirl20: well i don't know
sneeziegirl20: i mean it could be
sneeziegirl20: but it could also be like come over here and take it off for me
sneeziegirl20: what?
sneeziegirl20: herrings?
sneeziegirl20: aren't they fish?
libby1075: nononononononono
libby1075: finger rings that i like
sneeziegirl20: oh
sneeziegirl20: !
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: her rings!
sneeziegirl20:not herrings!
sneeziegirl20: lol
Becca: Wait, you watched hockey? Who are you, me?
starmagic0408: sorry, my turrets kicked in
starmagic0408: it was....well, boring
starmagic0408: oh well
starmagic0408: haha NO
starmagic0408: you are not allowed to talk
sneeziegirl20: oh goodness!
sneeziegirl20:: that must be hard for you!
starmagic0408: hahaha
starmagic0408: yeah tho i usually go by myself so its not as bad
sneeziegirl20: o ok
starmagic0408: tho you know i do talk to myself sometimes
sneeziegirl20: haha yes and so do i
libby1075: but we didn't close the door
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: oops
sneeziegirl20: lol
libby1075: so sasha came by and we yelled to her and she gave us the funiest look before she clsed the door
sneeziegirl20: hahaha
libby1075:i love my neighbors, not sure if they would say the same about me tho
libby1075: who is goign to be my study break??
ordinaryme: oh wait no
ordinaryme: thats me
ordinaryme: ahhaahaha
squeakegurl: uh oh how much?
sneeziegirl20: guess
squeakegurl: um $400
sneeziegirl20: more!
squeakegurl: AH
squeakegurl: $500
sneeziegirl20: more!
squeakegurl: $600
sneeziegirl20: MORE!
squeakegurl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
sneeziegirl20: 663!!!!!
squeakegurl: oh my god! slanderous!
sneeziegirl20: it was REDICULOUS!
sneeziegirl20: i have 10 books for ONE CLASS
squeakegurl: excuse me while i barf in shock!
sneeziegirl20: WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGHT
squeakegurl: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: WE ARE STRONG INDEPENDET WOMEN!
squeakegurl: YEAH!!
sneeziegirl20: GO US
squeakegurl: GRRR I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR
sneeziegirl20: HAHAH
sneeziegirl20: ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR
squeakegurl: YEAH
sneeziegirl20: MAYBE ITS BECAUSE WE WERE GIRL SCOUTS
sneeziegirl20: WHERE GIRLS GO STRONG
squeakegurl: YEAH!!
squeakegurl: THAT'S RIGHT
sneeziegirl20: HAHA SORRY I AM ENJOYING ALL CAPS AT THE MOMENT
squeakegurl: YEAH!
sneeziegirl20: hehe
sneeziegirl20: don't fall off head!
sneeziegirl20: to the nutcracker!
squeakegurl: yaY! hahaha
sneeziegirl20: hehehe
sneeziegirl20: i am so yerre ogieji
sneeziegirl20: i am so hyper tomight
sneeziegirl20: tomnight
sneeziegirl20: ah
sneeziegirl20: tonight
squeakegurl: hahaha
sneeziegirl20: brazil!
sneeziegirl20: now it is the brazil song!
sneeziegirl20: VENGABOYS
sneeziegirl20: and you are gonna make lots of great friends from around the world
sneeziegirl20: and meets lots of cute british boys!
socerstar: ok ok ok
socerstar: that all sounds good
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: i keep telling emily she needs to find a cute british boy
sneeziegirl20: so i say the same to u
socerstar: ok i will wokr on that
socerstar: a straight one!
sneeziegirl20: haha YES
sneeziegirl20: this is the time for you to make lots of straight single guy friends
socerstar: hahaha
socerstar: ok i'll go back to high schol
sneeziegirl20: haha yes
sneeziegirl20: if you start getting friendly with a guy you have to stop and ask "are you straight? are you single?"
sneeziegirl20: and if he answers no to either question you no longer spend time with them
socerstar: ok that will probably make friends well
Mom: The middle of nowhere.
We are drunk, Marietta spots Maxwell and says, I love you more than like, toast!
I hug Marietta and say, "I love YOU more than toast!"
sneeziegirl20: sleeepy
sneeziegirl20: me
squeakegurl: yeah me too, soon. bed.
sneeziegirl20: me study
sneeziegirl20: quiz tomorrow
sneeziegirl20: want sleep
sneeziegirl20: haha
squeakegurl: hehe
squeakegurl: we are cavewomen
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: me cave cold
(I have no idea.)
Sam: No, and thank God for that or Leslie would have to switch roommates.
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: and whats worse is that i SNORED!!!
starmagic0408: ahhhhhh sooo embarrasing
starmagic0408: i was ready to die
sneeziegirl20: hahahaha
starmagic0408: but then i tried to cover it up by blowing my nose
starmagic0408: i dont know if it worked
sneeziegirl20: how did u know u were snoring?
sneeziegirl20: lol
starmagic0408: hahah
starmagic0408: i woke myself up
sneeziegirl20: haha
starmagic0408: it was really bad
starmagic0408: but no one was looking at me when i woke up so maybe i only snored once i dont really know
sneeziegirl20: haha hopefully
sneeziegirl20: haha no of course i do!
squeakegurl: oh good
squeakegurl: hehe
sneeziegirl20: i was just sad that you had left without saying goodbye
sneeziegirl20: but i will always love my dear ettels more than toast
sneeziegirl20: cause you are just so..... toasty!
starmagic0408: tho not always
sneeziegirl20: girls can ask a guy out!
sneeziegirl20: goodness emily!
sneeziegirl20: have all these years of all women's education taught u nothing?!?!?!
starmagic0408: hahaha
starmagic0408: no, but come on.... im a princess i like to be asked out
starmagic0408: haha
sneeziegirl20: we're supposed to be storng independent women!
starmagic0408: ive been wondering that my whole life
sneeziegirl20: that's how i deal with difficult things
socerstar: avoiding is always good
sneeziegirl20: i don't talk about them
sneeziegirl20: and then they go away
sneeziegirl20: hah
socerstar: hahaa i talk about them too much
socerstar: that's why we work so well together
socerstar: or something?
sneeziegirl20: have u been meeting boys?
sneeziegirl20: straight boys?
sneeziegirl20: i think i would like to go to a wedding in england
Student: No, six
Professor: Oh, why six? I understood the sex.
Student: Yeah, I've always been Emily.
onekakmz16: holy shit
onekakmz16: i thought you were saying that you were driving drunk soon
sneeziegirl20: no no!
squeakegurl: hehe
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: that's what i did in england!
squeakegurl: hehehe yay!
sneeziegirl20: and that's what the brits do!
sneeziegirl20: so it makes it more authentic!
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: yay!
sneeziegirl20: super job! i like the way you conentrated and wrote an excellent conclusion!
sneeziegirl20: i'm practicing my teacher comments
squeakegurl: hahaha wow! that was a good one! very teacher-like
sneeziegirl20: here i go again with my lovely typing skills
squeakegurl: hehe i understood
sneeziegirl20: yay!
sneeziegirl20: that's why i love you more than toast!
Me: (pointing to the school): I go there on Wednesdays.
Marietta: You go to the moon on Wednesdays?
Me: Yes, didn�t you know I have a date with the manon the moon on Wednesdays?
Marietta: Is it telling you a joke?
Mollie: Well, he�ll show you a whole new world!
Me: Well you wouldn�t want to shrink your whole body. You wouldn�t want to shrink your vagina.
Chels: Well then the penis would definitely be big!
647. Ted(cousin)(Ted was driving to bring Gus, their dog, to our aunts house for the weekend while his family went away): Hi Jeanie! It�s Ted.
Jeanie(aunt): Hi Ted! How are you?
Ted: Good thanks. I�m going to be a little late meeting you. I�m probably about 5 miles from the exit.
Jeanie: Ok that fine. I�ll be a little late too.
Ted: Ok, see you soon.
Jeanie: Hello?
Ted: Hi, its Ted again. I forgot something.
Jeanie: What did you forget?
Ted: Gus.
Ted Jr.: Hi Dada! Do you know where Mom is? When is she coming home? Is she going to make dinner? I�m hungry.
Ted Sr: Ted, do you know where I am?
Ted Jr: No, where are you?
Ted Sr: I�m in Korea and your mother has been in California for the past three days.
Julie(June is her older sister): June has more shoes than me. Will you take me to Payless?
Chels: Isn�t that the French-Canadian War?
Marietta: I think you mean the French and Indian War.
Me: Yeah, the French Canaidan War wouldn�t have been in the US and it would have been among my people.
ordinaryme21: um no...........
sneeziegirl20: oh hm
ordinaryme21: my cat does not talk to me
ordinaryme21: only my fridge does
sneeziegirl20: hahahahah
ordinaryme21: hahahaha
ordinaryme21: oh i forgot to say goodbye to it :(
sneeziegirl20: haha oh sad
sneeziegirl20: i wonder if our new fridge will be talkative
ordinaryme21: i hope so!
libby1075:people need to get over themselves
sneeziegirl20:hahahaha
sneeziegirl 20:from Lesbian College
onekakmz16: HA!
Onekakmz16: you got that right
Onekakmz16: lesbian city, usa
ordinaryme21: thats weird
ordinaryme21: dont u think?
sneeziegirl20: haha yeah i can tell
ordinaryme21: u can tell?!
ordinaryme21: what am i doing wrong?!
ordinaryme21: i type right
ordinaryme21: hhahaha
sneeziegirl20: that you are drunk
sneeziegirl20: u keep laughing
ordinaryme21: well
ordinaryme21: just cause i say "haha" doesnt mean im lauging
ordinaryme21: haha
sneeziegirl20: u don't normally laught that much when u are sober
ordinaryme21: but les
ordinaryme21: this is the first time i have actually lauged outloud
ordinaryme21: im just typing "haha" to aknowledge that something is amusing
ordinaryme21: but now i am really lauughing
sneeziegirl20: well then u r haha ing more than usual
ordinaryme21: oh
ordinaryme21: :p
ordinaryme21: but why am i drunk after 5 1/2 glasses of wine?
ordinaryme21: its odd
sneeziegirl20: good lord i would be smashed
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: i'm drunk after 2!
ordinaryme21: but ur a light weight
ordinaryme21: *(i almost typed "willy" hahahah)
sneeziegirl20: haha
ordinaryme21: but anwyays, i have to go sweep up the litter from the litter box and ill fall over prolly haha
sneeziegirl20: haha o dear
ordinaryme21: yes haha ok
ordinaryme21: goodnight
sneeziegirl20: try not to fall over!
sneeziegirl20: oh but what hppaned to the other one? u broke up?
libby1075: i'm a serial dater
Mom: We�ve had you for 21 years and we haven�t gotten sick of you yet.
Me: What are you doing?
Mom: Waving!
Me: Oh, what�s her favorite food?
4 year old: Pork.
4 year old: I�m a vegitarian so we have to go to McDonalds because it�s the only place that has vegitarian food.
Me: Oh ok, what are you going to get?
4 year old: A cheeseburger.
Me: No, those are church bells.
8 Year Old: It�ll only take two seconds as grown ups always say.
Mom: What is it?
Me: I don�t know! I�m too scared to find out!
Mom: Oh! Maybe it�s a grape!
Me: A grape? Why would there be a grape in my coffee?
Mom: Cause I put one in there thinking it would be my mug.
Me: Oh.
Mom(takes the grape out and eats it): Oh it tastes good in coffee!
Mom: You look like you�re drunk. Dad�s holding you up like a piece of prized cattle.
Chels: But they�re crooked.
Marietta: But Leslie is crooked, we know that.
Chelsea: He�s just a cat.
Me: But he�s cute.
Chels: I�m cute. No one ever says �Oh look at Chelsea.�
Me: Really? When?
Chels: When he learns how to surf.
sneeziegirl20: haha u can ask out loud
ordinaryme: what?
ordinaryme: AHHHAHAHA
ordinaryme: batteries
sneeziegirl20: yeah
ordinaryme: that's what i said
ordinaryme: no u said battersis
sneeziegirl20: whatever i knew u could figure it out
sneeziegirl20: it was a challenge
ordinaryme: oooo ok hahha
sneeziegirl20: thats sad
sneeziegirl20: but he is a boy
sneeziegirl20: and has no sisters right?
ordinaryme: but he has a sister who is 21
sneeziegirl20: oh
sneeziegirl20: hm
ordinaryme: yeah i kno
ordinaryme: weird
sneeziegirl20: yes
ordinaryme: those people from the eastern maine coast :p
ordinaryme: hahhaha
sneeziegirl20: hey!
sneeziegirl20: i got my first 2 in camden!
ordinaryme: hahaha ooo sure u did
sneeziegirl20: and my best friend there had one too!
ordinaryme: thats just a ploy
ordinaryme: i can see right through you
sneeziegirl20: its true!
sneeziegirl20: just ask santa claus!
sneeziegirl20: he brougth them to me!
sneeziegirl20: o really
sneeziegirl20: that's sad
ordinaryme: she used to bring in water bottles with alcohol in them
ordinaryme: she got fired
sneeziegirl20: o dear
ordinaryme: actually, i think that was what jess and i used to think was happening, i dont think it ever really happened
sneeziegirl20: haha
sneeziegirl20: that's how rumors get started my dear
ordinaryme: yeah well i got fantisy confused with reality
sneeziegirl20: yes sorry
sneeziegirl20: goodness sakes
ordinaryme: hahaha
ordinaryme: what
sneeziegirl20: what what?
ordinaryme: goodness sakes what
sneeziegirl20: cause u were yelling if i was still there and its just cause i took a couple minutes to respond cause i was talking to other pple and reading an e-mail!
ordinaryme: ooh like right now?
ordinaryme: it just took me like a minute
sneeziegirl20: right!
ordinaryme: some ice cream or somehing
sneeziegirl20: u can eat my ice cream
ordinaryme: will u bring me some?
ordinaryme: OH DARN U R NOT DOWN STAIRS
sneeziegirl20: HAHA
sneeziegirl20: sorry your maid is on vacation
ordinaryme: damnit
sneeziegirl20 she will be back tomorrow
Me: I pretend I�m from Connecticut, but I�m really from Maine?
Chels: Yes, your really a Mainer at heart
(Thanks Chels, but I think its really the other way around!)
Chels: A principal?! Ah! Principals are scary! I won�t talk to you if you�re a principal!
Mom: That�s ok.
Me: I�ll look like a tootsie roll!
Chels: Can I borrow your shampoo?
Me: Yeah, its in the shower. While you�re down there see if we have a plunger.
Marietta: But we don�t have one.
Me: But why do I feel like I�ve seen one?
Marietta: Because you�re crazy.
(Chels comes back up from our bathroom with a plunger)
Chels: Look what I found! Les isn�t crazy!
Me: What are you doing?
Marietta: Concentrating on being a tree.
Marietta: That's sad. We could go shovel some snow in front of your window!
Me: Imagine that! And it�s the same cat! You also both have a roommate named Leslie!
Me: What the heck was that?
Chels: I had a squeeeeeeak in me.