The Search
Or...
The Shoes
*we come in to a wide view of New York City at night, darkness overwhelming the alley that we focus on. Rain is beginning to fall, a rolling thunder is heard in the distance.*
Jenn Wha...What was that?!
*a crash is heard echoing in the alleyway*
Rica Wow, that thunder sure is getting close, huh?
Jenn AGH! Stupid CAT!
*a stray cat runs from an overturned garbage can*
Rica Or not....*swings her crowbar as she eyes the sewer lid*
Jenn Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, think of the filth down there--think of my SHOES!
Rica *sighs, pulling on her rubber boots, kneeling beside the lid and jamming her crowbar into the crevice, grimacing as she tries to pry it open* Of course it is! *grunt* I didn't get to finish my gnad interview!!
Jenn *digs through her plastic bag, pulling out a pair of heels and looking at the camera* I still say we should have gone to find that lady in California....*glares at the camera* Mary..hmph--wise guy--What kind of a moron doesn't put a return address on their letters?!
Rica *pauses, looking up from the half-lifted sewer lid* Uh...someone who doesn't want to be found...?
Jenn It was a rhetorical question....
*A loud creak is heard and Rica jumps up, pushing the sewer lid to the side*
Rica I got it! C'mon!!
Jenn *sighs, grabbing her big plastic baggie and following Rica down into the sewer* Yeah yeah, I'm coming...stupid Mary of stupid California...
Rica *hops down, landing on a dry spot and waiting for Jenn ... who's taking her time coming down the ladder* Oh boy...
Jenn Eww eww EW!! *inches down slowly* It's SLIMY!
Rica Uhm, you were supposed to wear gloves, Jenn...
Jenn Oh...I was? Why wasn't I told this?! *pauses, on the bottom step of the ladder, looking sick* So you mean I was touchin--EWW!!!!
Rica *looks around, eyes inspecting the perimeter* WELL, let me see here, according to our map we should be heading Nor--*is interrupted by a loud splash and a whine*
Jenn Rica!!! *squirms, shoes saturated with water* My SHOES!!! *sniffles, tears coming to her eyes* They were my PINK ones!!!
Rica *gives a disgruntled look at her shoes* Well...they aren't now... *pauses, then looks at her* Aren't ALL of your shoes pink anyway?!
Jenn No! *stars digging through the bag* No, I have my black boots, my blue tennis shoes, my white sandals...OH! My brown leather sandal--heel..thingies...Uhm...
Rica Just...stop...*pauses, peering over her shoulder into her bag* Got any rain gear in there?
Jenn Rain...gear? *blinks, looking confused* WHY would I pack that in my shoe bag???
Rica To keep your feet from getting wet--you know, RAIN BOOTS, goo-lawshes! Those..those...THESE! *points to the green pair she's wearing* So you don't step in SEWER water and get your feet soaked!
Jenn But...but those are big and klunky...and they don't go well with my pink leather pants! *pauses, chewing at her lip as she splunks through her bag and pulls out a pair of boots* Would suede work?
Rica Uhm...*stares then shrugs* Sure Jenn, wear the suede...
Jenn I waterproofed them..*ties the boots on* Doesn't that count for something? *pauses, holding her heels up between her thumb and index finger* Now what do I do with these things?
Rica *snatches them from her and throws them down the tunnel, hearing the satisfactory splash* Leave them..they're gone.
Jenn NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs, being dragged down the opposite direction by Rica* MY SHOES!!!!!!!!!*slaps innefectively at Rica's arm* You OWE me new shoes--you brute!!! *waves to her shoes, sobbing* My babies!!
Rica *mutters, just dragging Jenn and her gear* So much for the element of surprise... *glares at the sniffling Jenn* Now EVERYBODY will know we're down here!
Jenn *looks up, chewing on her lip* Well..they won't know that it's because we're searching for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's secret lair deep below the streets of New York!
Rica *stops, sighing dramatically* They do NOW!
Mysterious Voice Fancy that...so are we...
*Rica and Jenn both pause, looking up to see four shadowed figures emerge from one of the side-tunnels...*
Rica Whoa...did they find us?
Jenn *gives her a look* Now why would THEY be looking for their own LAIR?
Mysterious Voice That is hardly so...
Mysterious Voice 2 You see, we are members...
Mysterious Voice 3 That are solely against...
Mysterious Voice 4 The wretched TMNT!
Rica *looks a little pale* OH no...don't tell me...The Foot Clan?!
*the four foot soldiers step forward, arms crossed in tough-guy sorta poses as the lead-dude looks the duo over*
Jenn Oh!!! *pushes passed Rica* I have been dying to know--HOW do you get so much shoes for all those feet!!!!??
*their poses break and each gives the other a clueless look before turning back to the duo*
Foot 3 Shoes...?
Jenn Yeah! Where do you get them---do you get a discount for buying large quantities?! Because if so, I SO want to know where you go!
Foot 3 *looks at the others* We were supposed to get shoes?
Foot 2 *looks at Foot 4, groaning* Now they've done it...
Foot 3 Where do you get....your shoes?
Jenn *boingies over to #3, toting her bag of shoes along* I go to this place called Rumors! It's in Oregon, and it's the most AWESOME place to get shoes--drag queens go there!
Rica Drag...queens? OH! Is that the place where we ran into Cas--*pauses....then trails off* Ewwwwww.....
Foot *approaches Rica as Foot #3 and Jenn start going through her bag of collectables* You won't let this out will you? It could seriously damage a person's reputation...
Rica Believe me...I won't tell a soul....*glances at the camera behind her with a mischevious grin*
Foot 2 *blinks, peering at the camera* Wait...what is that?
Rica *ahems, stepping in front of the camera* It's um...infrared...I..it tracks traces of mutatgen and other inhumane materials...it will lead us right to the source of the TMNT's lair! *crosses her fingers behind her back, giving a cheesey grin to Foot 4, who's inspecting her closely*
Foot 4 Don't I know you from somewhere...?
Rica Uhm...n-no...I have one of those faces...?
Foot 4 No! I know!! You're Jenn and Rica from Double Duo!!!
Foot 3 *snaps up from looking at Jenn's shoes* I-D-double Duo?! *fishes through his uniform and pulls out a spork* C-can you sign this!? I saw it on that episode where you were interviewing the T--*pauses, looking at his speculating co-clan members, then looks at the Duo* Teenagers obsessed with..Martha Stewart's...spork...crafts...*eyes them*
Rica Yeah..uh...spork crafts...
Jenn *twitches* Martha....Stewart????
Foot 4 *taps his chin* No...they were interviewing those turtles!!! *snaps, eyes going wide beneath his costume* They're...They're---FANGIRLS!!!!!
Rica *stiffens, back going rigid as she reaches behind her to grab her crowbar* Fangirls? Did you just call us...FAN .. girls???
Jenn *cornering Foot 3* I .. AM...NOT .. MARTHA!!!!
Foot 3 *cowers, holding the spork up* Please..Please?!! I'm a fan!I just want you ...to sign the spork--Um, You're cute?!
Rica *blinks, looking wide-eyed at Foot 3* BIIIG mistake.....
Jenn CUTE?!???!!!!! *leaps at Foot 3, cloud of dust and sewer matter surrounding them*
Foot 2 Get them!!!! They are on the side of the turtles!!! *charges to go help Foot 3 before he's massacred by the flying shoe-monster*
Jenn Don't call me Martha!!!! And don't call me CUTE!!!
Rica *swings her crowbar at Foot 2, eyes wild* FANGIRL THIS MR. ATHLETES FOOT!!!!
Foot 2 *ducks, then goes into a few ninja stances before Foot 1 joins him and they begin to double team against Rica* She make bad joke!
Foot We must destroy!
*A long fight ensues, each team taking bruises...but after a good fifteen minutes goes by, Rica and Jenn are the only ones left standing. Jenn holds a pair of stalettos high over her head, eyes twitching at the unconscious solder beneath her...Rica standing with her crowbar bent into a figure eight*
Jenn Stupid Mary of STUPID California...Stupid FEET!
*a few footsteps are barely heard behind them*
Voice 1 Holy cow, dude!
Voice 2 They certainly are merciless...
Voice 3 I'm not sure who's side I'm on with this one..
Voice 4 Do you have more fanmail for me?!?!
*Rica & Jenn look up to see the TMNT standing behind them, weapons ready and eyes wide at the four foot members at their feet*
Rica My HEROES!
Jenn *snaps her head up* Fanmail? Did you say fanmail?
Leonardo What did you DO?
Donatello *leans and whispers to Mikey* At this rate...all these fangirls coming into the sewers...we're gonna be out of a job and forced into more secretive hiding...
Michaelangelo Dude....
Rica *is clinging to Don's leg now, big blue eyes staring up at him* I didn't get to finish my interview!!
Raphael *is clinging to Jenn's leg now, big brown eyes staring up at her* Wan--fanmail!? Where is it! I want to read it--do you have sporks for me?!
Jenn *tries to pry Raph off* Um...it's in the studio...
Leonardo I..well, you know, about the interview..we wanted to say something..
Donatello *pries Rica off and sets her down off to the side* Yeah, um, we kind of wanted to apologize for walking out of the studio on you...you see, we realized soon after that we each have a great quantity of fans out there...it's just that all of Raph's seem to watch your show--as for the REAL fans, heh, well, they don't need to.
Jenn REAL..fans?
Rica Are you saying that our show only appeals to those who are NOT real fans? As in...the non-authentic type...?
Michaelangelo *slowly nods, scratching his temple* Hm, yep dudette, that about sums it up!
Jenn Oh that does it...*picks up her bag of shoes* I have BETTER things to do!
Rica Like WHAT? *follows, shooting a glare at Don* Where are we going?!
Jenn CALIFORNIA! That stupid bonbon-eating wench won't know what's coming to her!
Raphael *chases after, eyes panicked* But I want my SPORKS!!!!!!!