Mamoru’s Folly (AKA A Little Mamo Flush)

By: Skylar Inari

Seiya watched from the corner of his eyes as his beloved clung to that thing’s arm.

And the thing practically paid no attention to his precious.

It was reading and doing the novel more justice than his delusional princess.

Seiya fought down a growl of hatred as he sat behind the jerk and the love of his life.

“Mamo-chan!! It’s so great to sit here out in the fresh air and watch you read!!” Chattered the delighted Usagi.

Seiya smiled slightly in the pleasure of watching his doll have fun. By now anyone else would have punched that thing in the face.

Oh yes, his odango embodied the very essence of patience.

The thing raised his dead to look at his princess then looked back down at his book, “Hn.”

Hn? Seiya had to dig his nails into his palm to keep from permanently disposing of the cold-hearted bastard. His goddess had chosen to bless that creature with her blessed voice and all that idiot could reply to that wonderfulness was a pathetic ‘Hn.’?

He. Was. Going. To. Kill. Him.

***

That thing was sitting at his desk doing - what else? - more reading.

Seiya grinned evilly. He had been following it all day looking for the perfect chance to strike.

After it had left his love, it had come home and curled up and read. For five hours straight. Ugh. If it weren’t for his princess’s honor Seiya would have given up a long time ago.

It was like the thing had no bladder. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………..

It moved. Seiya tensed with excitement and readied his secret weapon.

It got up and headed towards the bathroom.

Seiya pulled himself out from his cramped position behind it’s plant vase.

Seiya flung his secret weapon - a banana peel - out in from of the unsuspecting idiot.

The thing stepped on the secret weapon.

Seiya held his breath………

SPLORT!!……………………

CLUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thing had actually fallen for the banana peel trick. Seiya exulted and laid down the baseball bat he had brought incase the thing had - by a miracle - avoided the peel to beat him into the ground.

It was lying motionlessly on the ground.

Seiya giggled evilly and pulled it into the washroom……………where the toilet awaited.

The Starlight shoved it’s head into the toilet and……………

FLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s head jerked around as the water sloshed about the unfortunate limb.

Seiya grinned and……………………

FLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Delighted Seiya watched it be tortured.

It never moved.

Seiya frowned; it should have at least started to move. Even if just a little.

Seiya nudged it with his foot. It didn’t move.

Tentively Seiya felt for a pulse.

Nothing.

The Starlight shrugged and left the apartment.

***

Usagi stared grief-stricken as the coffin containing it was lowered into the ground.

As they left the grave-yard Seiya draped his arm around his princess comfortingly and glanced back over his shoulder at it’s final resting place.

Smirking slightly Seiya blew it’s tombstone a kiss and mouthed the words…………..

“I win.”

~owari~

Guess who doesn’t like Mamoru………….ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Seiya and Usagi are a waaaaaaaayyy better couple!!!!!!!!!!!!!