Narrator.................Justin
Wife......................Lance
Husband..................Joey
Witch..........................JC
Rapunzel................Chris
Prince.....................Joey
We found it at Natasha's 'N Sync Site, but she didn't write it either.
J.C.: Shut up and tell the story Justin!
Justin (Narrator): A-ite, don't go spastic dog! Here goes y'all: A dude an' his honey wuz really wantin' themselves a baby, an' it took forever 'til they wuz gonna have one. Hey, hold up! Chris, you be old, where do babies come from?
Chris: Uhhh...well, it's and then..shut up and tell the story Justin!
Justin (Narrator): Okay, these two peeps crib wuz on a hill lookin' at one fine castle, with a vege...vegit...vegat...a garden with lots green stuff in it. Well, dis garden has one way big wall all da way 'round it an' some mean old B**ch--
Joey: Dude, ain't it a witch who has the garden?
Justin: Sorry man, witch. The witch had a garden and she was way mean. Ever'body wuz scared of her 'cuz she wuz one bad honey. One day, da fly boo wuz lookin' out her window an' saw sum rapun...rapi...rappen...Hey Lance, what's dat word?
Lance: Rapunzel Justin. The word is Rapunzel. Now leave me alone to do my make-up for my scene!
Chris: Justin, haven't you been doing your Hooked on Phonics lately?
Joey: Hooked on Phonics?? I thought I was s'posed to buy Hooked on Ebonics for Justin! Isn't that what you told me J.C.?
J.C.: No!! I said Hooked on Phonics!! Now what have you done, Joey?!
Joey: My bad, anybody have a Twinkie?
Justin (Narrotor): 'Nough 'bout my talkin'!! Anywayz, da honey wuz wantin' some of dat Rapunzel so much she wadn't eatin' nothin' else. She got skinny an ugly, so her man got scared 'bout her.
Joey (Husband): Hey baby, what's wrong? How come you don't want to eat any of my Twinkies?
Lance (Wife): Well, Ah (he can't lose the accent) want some of that their Rapunzel or else Ahm just gonna die!
Justin (Narrator): Dis homie knowed day his girl wuz fly an' so he decided to get sum dat Rapunzel fo' her so she'd be happy an' put out for him. So, da dude went to the...garden...an' got sum dat stuff for her an' brought it back to the crib. Da honey wuz such a pig dat she ate it in no time an' wanted da dude to go get her sum more. So, since he loved her so much an' all, he did. That's when he met up wit the evil b**ch.
Chris: The word is WITCH Justin!! WITCH!! You better get it right, or else you're gonna make J.C. wash your mouth out with soap!!
Justin: Dude! I be sorry!! Just don't wash mah mouth out like ya did yesterday J.C.!
J.C.: Just watch it Justin. Next time...
Justin (Narrator): Okay, da homie met up with da witch in da garden...
J.C.: Zzzzzzzzz...
Justin: Yo! J.C., wake up man! It be yo part!! Wake up!
J.C. (sleeply): How come you always get the girls, Justin? I wanted Britney!
Joey: J.C. wake up man!!!
J.C.: Oh, sorry! Was I talking in my sleep?
Lance: Yeah, something 'bout--
Chris: No!! No you weren't J.C. Lance just don't know what he's sayin' (giving Lance an evil stare and making a mental note to call Poeple Magazine).
J.C. (Witch): Okay, what do you think you're doing in my garden? Stealing my precious Rapunzel? You will pay!!
Justin (Narrator): Da homie said:
Joey (Husband): I'm so sorry!! Please don't hurt me! My wife is gonna have a baby and she just wanted some of this Rapunzel. Hey, you're kinda a hot witch. Wanna be my Lois Lane after the show's over? (Walking close to the "Witch".)
J.C.: Joey! Get away!! It's me, J.C.!! I'm just dressed as a girl witch! Go away!!
Joey: Oh, sorry man. I didn't know!!
J.C. (Witch): So, your wife's going to have a child? In that case, take all the Rapunzel you want, but I get your child, I will be it's mother.
Chris: Ha, ha!! J.C.'s gonna be a mommy!! (J.C. glares at Chris while Justin continues.)
Justin (Narrator): Dat dude wuz so scared dat he said okay. Besides, dat way, he don't hafta change no dirty diapers. When da baby wuz born, the witch tooked her to da castle. She growed up to be one heck a honey!! Dis girl was hot!!! She wuz shut up by da witch in a tower wit no doors of stairs or no elevetor to get up into it. When da witch wanted up in da tower, she said:
J.C. (Witch): Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.
Justin (Narrator): Den Rapunzel undid her hair an' da witch climbed up her long hair.
Chris: Yo man! I ain't gonna undo my braids so J.C. can climb up 'em! He might pull out my weave, dude!!
Justin (Narrator): Shut up Chris!! Don't take da braids out, see if I care! Well, later da king's son wuz ridin' in his dope ride an' heard Rapunzel singin'. Da song wuz so crunk, dat da prince wanted to meet her. But her couldn't get up to her 'cuz der wuz no steps or elevator. So he went home, but da song wuz still in his head. He went into da forest an' heard da witch say:
J.C. (Witch): Rapunzel, Rapunzel. let down your hair.
Justin (Narrator): He saw da witch dlimb up da honey's dreds an' wanted to try it. So when da witch left, he said:
Joey (Prince): Repunzel, Repunzel, let down your hair.
Justin (Narrator): Da honey did an' da prince climbed up. She wuz 'fraid 'cuz she never seen no man bafore (whoa, she's one deprived chick!). But she thought da homie wuz pretty fly an' must have some skilz on da court 'cuz he had on some tight Nikes yo. Da prince said:
Joey (Prince): Baby, be my wife! Marry me and have my children!
Chris: Do I hafta do this scene? Why can't Lance? He's into this sorta thing!
Lance: No, don't send Joey after me again!!! Please no!!
Joey: Oh, that's you Chris? I thought you were just some hot chic with bad hair!
Justin: Yo! Back to da story man!
Chris (Repunzel): Yes, I will marry you. Everyday, bring a silk scarf for me to tie together so I can climb down from here.
Joey (Prince): Okay, then we go back to my place, right?
Justin (Narrator): Da witch wuz so stupid day she never found out 'bout da prince til one day. Rapunzel said:
Chris (Repunzel): Why you gotta be so much heavier then the prince is, Ma?
J.C. (Witch): Oh, you wicked child!! You have deceived me!
Justin (Narrator): Ohhh, looks like da honey wuz major stupid. Anywayz, da witch cut off all of da honey's hair. Den, she tooked her to a far away forest an' left her dere. Da prince came back da next day:
Joey (Prince): Rapunzel, yo, let me up baby!!
Justin (Narrator): Da b**ch let down--
J.C.: I warned you Justin!! Come here! (J.C. proceeds to wash Justin's mouth out with soap.)
Justin: Mmmph!! Rfph!! Aaahhhh!!!
J.C.: (Handing Justin a glass of water) Now are you going to be good, or do I have to send you to bed early?
Justin: I be good, J.C. Please let me stay up til 10:00!
J.C.: 10's pushin' it. Mabey 9:30 it you're good. Now back to the story.
Justin (Narrator): Okay. Da witch let da prince climb up Rapunzel's dreds den said:
J.C. (Witch): So, you came for your love? She is not here and you will never see her again.
Justin (Narrator): Da homie wuz so sad dat he jumped out da tower an' cut his eyes on sum thorns on da way down. He wuz blinded forever! He walked 'round da woods for a long time. one day, while he wuz searchin' for sum roots an' berries to eat, he comed to where da honey wuz. She sawed hem an' wuz so happy dat she started to cry (how come chics always do dat?). Her tears made him see again. An' dey kissed.
Lance: Wait, Ah hafta touch up Chris' lipstick! It wears off so fast! (Lance re-applies Chris' lipstick.)
Justin: Yo! Lancey-boy! Go away man! We got a story to finish! Joey, kiss the honey already!
Joey: I've been waitin' for this! Come here, Baby!
Chris: (Running away screaming) No, Joey! It's me, Chris! Stay away!!
Joey: (Running after Chris) Come back baby!! What's wrong?
Chris: (In a last-chance effort) Look, Joey, a giant Twinkie!!
Joey: Where? Twinkies? Yeahhh!!! (Runs off-stage in search of the giant Twinkie)
Justin: Well, dat be da end of da story! Later!!