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Later that night we were on our way to Atlanta, Georgia, the first stop on the tour. I was sitting in the kitchenette reading a book. Every once and a while I would hear an eruption of laughter from the back where the five men were entertaining themselves.
I was suddenly dreading the three months ahead. I had never been an outcast before. I had always been well liked by everyone. Not that I blamed them. I know I valued my privacy. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have it taken away, especially because they had so little of it as it was.
“Hey, whatcha doin’?” a voice interrupted my thoughts.
I turned to see Justin looming in the doorway of the kitchen area. “Not much,” I answered. “I was just reading.”
“Good book?” he asked, taking the seat in across from me.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Its called Practical Magic. I’ve read it about a million times.”
“Must be pretty good then,” he commented. “Do you like to read a lot?”
“Yeah,” I told him.
“What else do you like to do?” Justin leaned forward with his elbows on the table.
“I like to play sports,” I began, “and I like to go to clubs, even though I can’t go very often.”
“Why don’t you?”
“My fiancées doesn’t like to go to them,” I answered.
“Oh, you’re engaged, huh?” There was an edge to Justin’s voice that I didn’t understand. “When is the happy day?”
“We haven’t set a date yet.” I smiled. “In fact, he just popped the question less than a week ago.”
“Wow, and you left him so soon?” Justin asked.
“I had no choice.” The way he asked that question put me on edge. “I had to work.”
“Oh,” was all Justin said.
“So, what about you?” I asked, hoping to get the focus off me. “What do you like to do in your free time?”
“Free time? What’s that?” Justin joked. “I love to play basketball. I like to go clubbing too, but I’m not old enough to get into them over here in America. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve never been to one.”
“How old are you?”
“Seventeen,” Justin replied. “How about you?”
“Eighteen.”
“You’re already engaged at eighteen?” Justin asked incredulously. “Wow, I can’t even imagine being married in the next three months!”
“We’ve been dating for three years,” I told him. “In fact, we’ve never dated anyone else.”
“Then how do you know that he’s the one?” Justin’s tone was light, but there was an undertone that put me on edge.
“He is!” I insisted, angrily. “I was just lucky to find him this early.”
Justin paused. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I was quiet, gazing out the window.
“I’m sorry,” Justin offered.
I sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten so defensive,” I said. “I guess, it’s just that a lot of people seem to think that we shouldn’t get married so soon and I guess, it kind of got to me after a while.”
“You shouldn’t let it get to you,” Justin said. “If you really love the guy, don’t let what anyone else says matter.”
I was silent for a moment. The world whizzed by the window at lightning speed, about as unclear as my emotions at that moment.
“Hey, what are you two doing?” a voice interrupted our conversation.
We both looked up, startled to see Lance hovering in the doorway.
“Just talking,” Justin answered. As he stood to grab a coke out of the fridge.
“Well, we’re going to be at the hotel in about five minutes,” Lance informed us.
“Thanks Scoop.” Justin turned to me. “We call him that because he always knows everything,” he explained.
I nodded dumbly. I watched him disappear into the back of the bus. I had never doubted my decision to marry Keith until that moment.
In fact, this problem was still bothering me later that night as I sat back in a steamy hot bath. I closed my eyes thinking back over all the time Keith and I had had together. We had been through everything. My father’s death, his grandmother’s stroke, both our sixteenth birthdays had passed in the three years that we had been together. We had a history together. Why should I doubt it?
Later there was a knock on my door. I stood up from the bed where I had been combing my thick hair while watching TV. I looked through the peephole to see Justin standing at my door. When I opened it he greeted me with a wide smile.
“Hey,” he said. “There was a slight mix up and there are only enough rooms for the four of us, and since you have an extra bed in your room I was wondering if you would mind if I crashed here.”
I stepped back. “No, not at all,” I told him. I knew Keith wasn’t going to like this, but the poor guy was in a bind.
I watched as Justin hauled his large duffel bag and tossed it to the floor. He turned to me with a smile. “So, whatcha doin’?” he asked.
“I was just channel surfing while being bored out of my mind,” I answered. “There’s nothing on.”
Justin grabbed the remote from where I had left it on the nightstand. He flopped back onto one of the two beds and began to flip through the channels.
“Look, Titanic,” he said, gesturing to the screen. “It just started.”
“I never saw it,” I told him as I went back to combing the snarls out of my thick, black tresses.
“What?” Justin looked at me as if I had just announced that I thought the moon was made of blue cheese. “Never seen it? That clinches it, we’re going to watch it.”
“But it’s too cliché,” I complained. “Just another romantic movie that screws up a historic event.”
“No, really, it’s good.” Justin insisted.
On the screen an old woman was being helped from a helicopter. Justin quickly brought me up to date on the movie’s beginning and we settled back to watch it.
“No way!” I burst out about half an hour later as Leonardo DiCaprio gazed at Kate Winslet for the first time. “There is no such thing as love at first sight.”
“You don’t think so?” Justin turned to look at me.
“No, especially not in that situation,” I said. “He has to know that she considers herself better than him and that he wouldn’t have a chance with a first class girl, the idea is just ridiculous.”
“But that’s the whole idea,” Justin explained. “It’s impossible, but yet it happens.”
I sat back. “There still is no such thing as love at first sight.”
“I think there is,” Justin disagreed.
“Why would you say that?” I asked. “Never would have pegged you as a hopeless romantic.”
Justin looked over at me, his blue eyes soft in the light of the lamp that hung from the wall. “I think I’ve experienced it first hand.”
Something about the way he said it made me feel weak. “Oh,” was all I could think of to say as I returned to watching the movie, refusing to meet that gaze again.
In fact, I didn’t look at him again during the remainder of the movie, although I felt his gaze on me a few times. I had to admit that he was right. The movie was better than I thought it would.
When I told him this he got an arrogant half smile on his face and said, “Of course I’m right.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes before turning to my suitcase to look for my pajamas. A moment later, after practically dumping my suitcase onto the floor, I still couldn’t find them. Then I remembered where they were. They were sitting on my bed in my apartment back home, all three pairs I had decided to pack.
“Uh-oh.” I sat back on my bed. “I’m an idiot.”
“What’d you do?” Justin asked, looking up from where he was trying to figure out how to call for a wake up call.
“I forgot the pj’s I was going to bring,” I said. “They’re all sitting on my bed at home.”
Justin chuckled. He leaned over and pulled a tee shirt out of his bag. “Here,” he said. “You can wear this if you want.”
I caught the shirt that he tossed at me easily. “Are you sure?” I eyed the baby blue shirt. “I can just sleep in these clothes.”
“No, go ahead,” Justin said, not even glancing up. “I hardly wear that shirt anymore.”
“Okay,” I agreed. I hated to sleep in jeans.
I headed to the bathroom to change. As I pulled the shirt down over my head I inhaled Justin’s masculine scent. The boy had good taste in cologne or whatever it was I smelled. When I looked in the mirror I almost burst out laughing. It was huge! The shirt hung down to just below my knees and the sleeves were down past my elbows.
“You must be a freakin’ giant!” I told him as I emerged from the bathroom.
He looked up and smiled. “Blue looks good on you,” he told me. “It sets off your eyes.”
“Thanks.” I felt my cheeks flush.
Stop it! I scolded myself. He was just being nice.
As I burrowed under my covers, I berated myself for the way that Justin made me feel. It was weird. It was sort of like there were little bubbles in my stomach that were constantly popping whenever he was around.
“’Night Gwen,” Justin called from the other bed.
“Sweet dreams.”
I can’t allow myself to feel this way, I told myself. He was just one of those guys that girls couldn’t help liking, but never got serious with. At least I wouldn’t.
I decided right then that I would have to distance myself from Justin Randall Timberlake if I valued my relationship with Keith at all.
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