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The next morning I bid goodbye to the five guys who had become so much a part of my life in the past couple of months.
Since they were leaving for New York at five AM, I was treated to a goodbye song while in bed.
“We love you Gwen! Oh yes we do!” They sang as I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “We love you Gwen, and will be true. When you’re not with us, we’re blue! Oh Gwen, we love you!”
“Thank you for that lovely wake up call.” I rolled my eyes.
“We just popped in to say goodbye,” JC informed me.
“How did you get the key?” I asked.
“Last night I stole the extra one from the little white envelope on the dresser,” Chris told me with a self-satisfied grin.
“I should have known.” I pulled myself out of bed.
“Nice shirt,” Justin commented with a grin.
I blushed, realizing I was wearing the shirt that he had lent me the first night that I had almost unintentionally forgotten to return.
“All my other p.j.’s were dirty,” I said simply. “If you guy’s will wait a second, I’ll find myself some clothes.”
After dressing in record speed in the bathroom and giving my teeth a once over with my trusty Aquafresh, I re-entered the main room where the guys were sprawled all over my room watching TV.
“Make yourself at home, guys,” I said.
“Don’t worry about us,” Lance said, not even looking up from the TV. “We already have.”
JC, who was perched precariously on the arm of the chair that Joey was sitting in, glanced at his watch. “You guys, we should get going.” He stood up.
“I’d rather stay here,” Justin said from his place, sprawled across my unmade bed.
“C’mon Curly, we’ll miss our plane.” Lance clubbed him over the head with a pillow before turning to me. “I hope we can stay in touch Gwen. We’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, Scoop,” I told him, embracing him warmly.
Joey was next, giving me a bear hug. “See ya later Shorty. Promise me we’ll go clubbing when we come to LA.”
I laughed. “I promise.” I turned to Chris. “See ya ‘round Dread Head.”
“Bye Gwen. I’ll send you some FuMan Skeeto stuff as soon as it comes out,” he promised.
I laughed. “You do that.”
Then I embraced JC. “Bye JC. Write to me Okay?”
“Okay,” JC agreed.
“What about me?” Justin asked as I turned to him, saving the best for last.
“If you don’t write to me I’ll beat you,” I replied as we hugged.
Both of us were reluctant to let go, so for a moment we just stood there in the warm circle of each other’s arms. I could feel Justin’s heart pick up and mine raced to join it.
“Two months?” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear.
“Two months.”
We parted, Justin dropping a torturous kiss on my cheek.
“Goodbye Gwen.”
“Goodbye Justin.”
I took a deep breath before tapping on Keith’s door later that day. This wasn’t something I was looking forward to. But nobody really looks forward to ripping his or her fiances’s heart out.
“Hey Honey,” Keith greeted me. “Since when do you knock.”
“Keith, we need to talk,” I said.
“Okay, sweetie.” Keith took my hand. He paused a moment before looking down. “Where’s your ring?” he asked, rubbing the spot on my left ring finger where the diamond had been.
I withdrew my hand from his. I pulled the ring from my pocket of my jeans. I held it on my open palm.
“Why aren’t you wearing it?” Keith’s green eyes clouded over.
“That’s what we need to talk about,” I said.
As I expected, Keith didn’t take it well. He whined and complained and when that didn’t work he resorted to tears. I realized that he was nothing more than a big child. It was hard not to just give in so that he would just shut up.
Fortunately, everytime I was close, Justin’s face would flash before my eyes, or his uproarious laughter would ring through my ears, giving me strength. I was on a mission, a mission to find myself and there were no stops on the way.
By the time I left Keith’s house that afternoon I felt more alive than I had in ages. I was sure that the people that passed me in the street would notice. I just knew that they would see the sparkle in my eyes and the glow in my cheeks and know that I was in love.
The rest of the day was spent putting together my article for the magazine. It was fun to go through all the pictures I had taken over the last two months. It was a way of reliving all the fun.
There was a picture of Chris perched in a large oak tree at a gas station we had stopped at, one of Joey, pretending to be Superman while hanging from a harness at the Detroit arena. Lance smiling at an exciting fan and JC asleep on a couch at the airport.
When I came across a picture of Justin and I at the Hard Rock Café in Washington DC I felt a sharp pain in my chest that deepened into a dull ache.
I could remember that day clearly. Joey had stolen my camera and was taking pictures of the cute girls all around the room. Then he had some back to the table, claiming that he needed one of me.
In the picture Justin and I were both smiling as we gazed up at the camera. Our chairs were pushed close and we were leaning together. Justin’s arm was slung casually over the back of my chair.
I stared at the picture for a moment before I finally grabed a magnet to put the picture on the already crowded refrigerator.
As I studied Justin’s smiling face I thought of that day in the lounge when he had told me exactly how he felt. I closed my eyes, savoring the memory of his searing kisses.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the phone ringing. I sighed. The real world was calling.
“Hello?”
“Hey Gwen.” It was Derek.
“Derek! It’s great to hear your voice!” I exclaimed. I had truly missed Derek, one of the only people at the office who didn’t treat me like a lowly intern.
“How’d the tour go?’ he asked. “Any big secrets to share?”
“No, actually they’re five boring, normal guys,” I replied.
“Was Keith excited to see you?”
I hesitated. How was I going to explain my sudden decision not to marry?
“We aren’t engaged anymore,” I said, thinking quickly. “I decided he wasn’t the one for me after all.”
“That’s too bad,” Derek said. “I must say that I’m surprised. You and Keith have been through a lot.”
“Well, Derek if you must know, I fell for something else,” I revealed, “but I refuse to go into detail.”
“Oh, I see.” Derek’s voice was teasing. “You found yourself someone who can get you the inside track on 'N Sync 24/7?”
“Something like that.”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about Justin yet. It was too perfect I wanted to keep to myself for a while.
Like the French story that Justin himself had told me of the maid who found the buried gold and then went back to tell her village and the next day it was gone. What I had with Justin was special and I didn’t want to share it, not just yet. It might not work out and if nobody knew about it, it would be less painful if it fell through.
After Derek briefed me on my duties for the next day we hung up.
The moment I pushed the off button my phone instantly rang again.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” The familiar voice turned my knees to butter and I sank back onto the couch.
“Hey Justin.” I managed to say. I couldn’t believe how my heart was racing at the sound of his voice. “What’s up?”
“I was just calling to make sure you made it home safe,” Justin told me.
I smiled. “Well, I did,” I said. “How’s New York?”
“It’s great!” Justin enthused. “Everyone except me and Lance went clubbing at a new club downtown.”
“You didn’t go?” I asked. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“There’s only one person I want to dance with.” His words made the ache in my chest intensify.
“Justin, I told you not to feel tied down.” I tried to keep my voice as nonchalant as possible, but I could hear the emotion creeping into my voice.
“I know. I don’t,” Justin said simply. “Besides, the club is twenty-one and over.”
I laughed. “No wonder you are so suddenly virtuous,” I said. “So, what are your plans for the evening?”
“I think there’s an Orlando game on in an hour.”
“Well, at least you’ve covered,” I said.
“Yeah, what are you doing?’ he asked.
“Putting together my article for the magazine and taking a swim in my tub,” I answered.
“Sounds productive,” Justin commented.
I laughed. “Outstandingly so,” I replied. “So, how long are you going to be in New York?”
“Two days,” Justin answered. “We’re going to be on Total Request Live tomorrow and then we have a concert at the Lincoln Center, then it’s off to Augusta.”
“You guys certainly are busy,” I said. “I know that I’m looking forward to a couple of nights in my own bed.”
Justin chuckled. “I’ve been away from it so long I’ve forgotten what my own bed feels like.”
After about a half an hour of chatter, our conversation lulled.
“Well, I better let you go watch your game,” I said, reluctant to have the conversation end. “Tell the guys I miss them.”
“Okay, sweet dreams,” Justin said.
“Goodnight.” I paused. “Justin?”
“Yes?”
“I love you,” I said softly.
I could almost hear the smile on his face when he answered, “I love you too Gwen.”
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