xix.  Today


Today i told God that i would like to fast from food roam around town meditate on his precepts.  i told him how i want to see myself a dozen years from now.  By then i hope to be a husband so i could learn how to be a better bride.  i want to be a father so i could know how to be a better son.  i want to live where he wants me to grow.  i want to work where he wants me to water. 

Originally my prayer began with a deep sigh.  i believe i might never again kiss the woman i love today.  If i don't ever again, of course it is good.  But i pray i pray that God will make himself more known to her, never by my way but His.  Even if she is not the one for me, i still pray that she feels God laying his hands on her face kissing her lips replacing her breath with his in a way so sweet so genuine so loving that not even the most compassionate man can do justice. 

i believe God allows us to call him Father, that he comes to us instead of us jumping hurdles and earning his love.  i believe he sent the Child to teach each of us how to be his child, how to wash each other�s feet, how to be his walking poem, that it really is okay to cry.  i believe he created the Wholly Spirit to refine our spirits from the inside out, tap stone so water can burst out.

In a day where we claim that there are no absolutes, i believe Your way is the most majestical, and the most personal, the most approachable, the most practical, the most rewarding in the long-run, the most dangerous in the short-run, what people find most hard to believe until You touch them.

Today i told God that i would like to fast and break it with him.
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