David G. Ciampa, born on 12 May in the 1982nd year of Our Lord.
David was born in a small zoo just this side of Warwick, RI. His
mother quotes "I don't know what happened. I just saw the gorillas,
and abruptly, David was born." From that moment on, Dave's life
has never been quite normal. The Disney Channel once aired Mr.
Ciampa's first film outing: "Gorilla, Gorilla," a cute and family-
oriented animated biopic. James Coburn reportedly did the voice
for David's father. Today, suffering under the social stigma of pain
and prejudice, David continues existing in the disguise of a normal
college student at the University of Southern Maine. It is speculated
that he also belongs to the terrorist cel Al-Qaeda, and also
contributed to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. This man is
considered harmful to small children if swallowed.
