Contestants braved the horrors of the Pokemon world as they took part in a Pokemon-catching contest to prove themselves. Bowser came out on top and won immunity, but even immunity didn�t help the players escape the clutches of the Mole. Last episode, not one, but two players were eliminated, and the Mole still reigns supreme. We now bring you Episode 7 of Nintendo: The Mole.
IngRaider and the contestants are quickly warped to Rogueport
�Welcome back everyone. Congratulations for making it this far.� says IngRaider. �It is quite an astonishing feat.�
�Yeah, it does smell like feet in here!� remarks Bowser.
�Not that kind of�..Never mind.� replies IngRaider. �So anyway, your next task will be to��.�
�Open fire, you fools!� shouts a voice.
�Shh. We have to take them by surprise.� whispers another voice.
�FORGET THE SURPRISE ATTACK!!! We�re bringin� out the heavy artillery now.� responds the first voice.
The wall behind IngRaider and the remaining contestants is destroyed by a large, blue robot with a �3.0� on its chest and Lord Crump inside.
�Lord Crump.� says Yoshi, shocked.
�Gasp.� says Ganondorf unenthusiastically.
�I�m shakin� in my boots.� says Bowser sarcastically.
�You should be, you fiend. Now prepare for your ultimate doom. Buh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh,�.�
�Shut the hell up already and fire the damn weapon boss.� shouts an X-Naut.
�You shut up or I�ll incinerate you, you little jerk.� Lord Crump shouts. Now he turns to IngRaider and the contestants. �As I was saying, your chances of victory are slim to none. Gaze before you at the machine in which I am seated. It is the most greatest invincible instrument of destruction the world has ever seen. I call it the Magnus von Grapple Version 3.0. It has dual satellite tractor beam function and my personal favorite-CHAOS EMERALD BLAST.� he snickers. �Prepare to meet your doom.�
�Hold it. You�re interrupting my show and I don�t like it when people interrupt my show!� protests IngRaider.
�Quiet, fool.� Crump says. �And now, the most awesome force on this planet is about to annihilate you. Buh, huh, huh, huh.�
�He really likes to hear himself talk.� says Ganondorf.
�Yes, but I like to hear you squeal even better.� Crump replies as one of Magnus von Grapple�s hands picks up Ganondorf and begins to squeeze him. All he can do is grunt in pain. �Ugh, ouch. You son of a @#$%. When I get out of here, I�ll�..�
�You�ll what?� mocks Lord Crump with a snicker. �You four weaklings are no match for Magnus.� he says, as Magnus picks up Bowser in his other hand.
�Ha! We got you now.� shouts Yoshi triumphantly.
�And why is that, dino-breath?� asks Lord Crump.
�Because you only have two hands and there�s four of us �weaklings� here.�
�Ah, but how wrong you are.� replies Crump with a smile. �You see, I foresaw this problem in the development phase so I did this.� He presses a button and two more arms shoot out of Magnus von Grapple�s chest and seize Yoshi and IngRaider.
�This isn�t good.� panics Yoshi.
�What were you saying, Yoshi? About you having ME now. Well, the tables have turned for I have YOU now.� Lord Crump taunts.
Magnus von Grapple then tosses the four against the wall, which they hit hard and collapse into a heap. The robot then begins charging up its Chaos Cannon to obliterate the four completely.
�I�m too young to die!� cries Bowser. �It�s so early in my career. I wanted to kidnap Peach and get beaten up by Mario so many more times. Boo hoo.�
�Pull yourself together, Bowser.� says IngRaider. �We gotta beat this thing together and I�ll think about how.� (�This isn�t in my contract.� he whispers to the camera. �Help!�)
�Ready. Aim. Fire.� says Lord Crump, aiming Magnus�s Chaos Cannon attack right at the fallen players and IngRaider.
Crump presses the button to fire the attack and it clicks loudly. �I SAID FIRE!!!� he shouts. Lord Crump rapidly begins to press the button again and becomes annoyed at its failure to work. �Shoot.�
�What�s the problem, Lord Crump?� taunts IngRaider. �Your toy broken?�
�Grr. This is not a toy!� he replies. �This is Magnus von Grapple Version 3.0, the best weapon ever developed and it WILL destroy you. It�s just jammed. Yeah, that�s it. Jammed.� He begins to press the button again and only gets the same result. �Oh well. Launch auxiliary missiles.�
Several missiles fly out of Magnus�s arms. IngRaider morphs into his Warrior Ing form and absorbs the attack, then returns to normal and charges up a shot of the Annihilator Beam and points it at Crump. �One wrong move and you�re gonna get it!� he threatens.
Crump backs up and fires the Chaos Cannon without warning and knocks IngRaider to the ground, where he lays motionlessly.
�Hey, I thought that didn�t work.� says Yoshi.
�I was bluffing, you fool. To lure you into a false sense of security to destroy you. Whose next?� he asks.
�No one. We�re takin� you down!� says Ganondorf. �Gerudo Punch.� he calls, punching Magnus von Grapple and causing a vortex of darkness to eat away at his chestplate. �How do you like them apples?�
�Not bad, not bad. The question is how do YOU like them apples?� he says, as the hole in the robot�s chest closes up and he begins to bombard the group with apple-shaped grenades. �You�re finished.� The apples have absolutely no effect on anyone. �What?!� Crump says, irritated. �X-Naut, where did you get these?�
�Umm. The (gulp) dollar store.� he replies.
�Dollar store bombs. Grr.� He takes out a machine gun and shoots the X-Naut who falls to the ground. �Fool.�
Crump begins shooting all sorts of weapons at the group, ranging from cannonballs to lasers to the Chaos Cannon. They all dodge and counter the attacks and emerge from the volley unharmed. Lord Crump then uses the robot�s solar panels to charge up a solar attack and launches it without hesitation. The group jumps over it and a nuclear warhead emerges from Magnus�s stash and it is pointed right at Yoshi, Bowser, and Ganondorf.
�Prepare for annihilation.� Crump shouts and the warhead is poised for fire. Yoshi and Bowser run in circles fearing for their safety. Ganondorf stands still, confidently, assuming it�s fake or it doesn�t work.
�No. You�ll blow us up too.� says an X-Naut, but it is too late, as Crump has pressed the button to launch it and it is flying through the air.
The warhead is released and it collides with Ganondorf instantly in a gigantic explosion of��..candy?!
�You bought a pi�ata missile?� shouts Lord Crump, shooting another X-Naut. The rest of his army backs away, intimidated by Crump�s gun.
The players stare at Lord Crump, unimpressed with his technology. IngRaider wakes up and shouts with glee: �I�m alive? I�m alive. I�M ALIVE! I survived a nuclear weapon?!�
�Uh dude. It was just a pi�ata.� says Yoshi.
�Oh good.� he replies.
�This is the last straw.� declares Crump, furious. �Here comes the pain.�
Magnus von Grapple rolls into action once again, shooting missiles and cannons at the contestants. They all dodge and weave their way through the barrage and trade blows with the robot. Yoshi hurls a bunch of eggs at Magnus, Bowser breathes fire at Crump, and Ganondorf launches some dark punches and kicks at the machine. Magnus sustains the hits and strikes back with a Chaos Cannon attack, catching everyone off guard, but they still dodge it before it has any effect. More fighting ensues and Crump pumps up the metallic arms and uses them to ensnare Yoshi, Ganondorf, Bowser, and IngRaider once again. Bowser uses his powerful claws to slash through Magnus�s arms and then breathes fire at the robot, setting it ablaze. Lord Crump lets out a high-pitched scream before hitting the eject button, shooting him out of Magnus von Grapple and into the sky. The robot then violently explodes in an inferno of flames and busted machine parts.
�Whew. That was fun.� says IngRaider, sarcastically. �Next, you will be transported to DK Isle, where you will visit the Creepy Castle level. I know I�ve said this before, but this is the level in which the game really changes. It gets a heck of a lot more intense, lethal, and suspenseful from here on in. You will find out certain things that will change your entire experience. Well�...two of you will. One of you will have to endure the humiliation of the being the last one to be eliminated. Those of you who have gotten through this game by luck of not getting voted out better think again. You will need to compete for the honor of emerging victorious.� A dark portal opens before the players and IngRaider beckons them to enter, before jumping in himself. His voice can be heard from the other side. �Dare to enter Creepy Castle. Anyone who doesn�t pass through this portal in 30 seconds will be eliminated. If only one makes it, he shall win. If only two, they shall battle it out in the castle. If all of you make it, you will all move on to the next dimension of this game. Ready. Set. Go.�
The platform in the sea where the portal lies rises several stories and other floating platforms rise form the sea. The players pull themselves up the treacherous platforms, jump the gaps and head for the portal. Yoshi makes it to the top in no time. Ganondorf is right behind him. Bowser, however, is struggling. The rocks cannot support his weight and the platforms are steadily dropping. �Help!� he screams, but no one is around to answer. He summons his Koopa Clown Copter, which arrives in the nick of time, allowing him to enter the portal at the last moment possible. The three are hurled down a vortex of darkness into the level.
On the next Nintendo: The Mole:
Players will enter the next dimension of this game (this time it�s true). A castle awaits them that is very um�creepy. Duh. Loaded with more ghosts than one can count in a lifetime, tons of disgusting rotted corpses seeking revenge on those who have done wrong to them, and an ominous air of doom, Creepy Castle will prove to be scarier than anyone can anticipate. Who will survive and who is too chicken? Find out next time on Nintendo: The Mole.