Last time on Nintendo: The Mole:
Players were virtually obliterated by the Space Pirates and their legions. With that ending, and the lack of a voting ceremony, players never got to speculate and discuss who the Mole is. The Mole now has more time and he or she lies in wait. Was the contest loss the Mole�s doing? Since when do Space Pirates carry bazookas? And who is the mystery man that has infiltrated the ship? These questions and more will be answered right now.
Back on Zebes, a figure emerges from the shattered remains of IngRaider�s starship:
�They, gulp, um.., got away sir.�
�You fool. How could you let them flee? You should have struck during their challenge when their guard was down.�
�I shall do better next time, sir.�
�For your sake, I hope you�re right.�
�What shall I do next?�
�Legend tells of a tropical island in the South. It is said to possess magical gemstones of immense power. Those fools are sure to go there next.�
�Excellent, we�ll ambush them there.�
�I don�t think you�ll be up to the task, so I�ve hired a bit of help. You remember our shadowy friends.�
�But sir..�
�Don�t worry, you insignificant pile of waste. The reinforcements I�ve hired more than guarantee our success. Oh yes, and by the way, I can still see you, you buffoon. The potion works only on your flesh. Strip your garments immediately.�
�But sir. My dignity. I will not just take off my clothes. Hmmph.�
�Do you value your job, Lord Chump, and more importantly, your life?�
�Yes sir.�
�Then do it! I�ll be watching Part Dos to my soap, so I must be going. I�ll leave you with these words: Mine those gems and you will be rich. Destroy or capture these fools and your wealth will increase tenfold. Fail, and let�s just say my trash won�t be the only thing going into the incinerator. Do we have an understanding?�
�Affirmative. Over and out.�
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The seven remaining contenders sit on IngRaider�s �Nintendo: The Mole� jumbo-jet as they fly to a remote isle in the South.
�Ooh, what�s that?� remarks a dazzled Peach as she is gazing out the window.
�That, would be Floating Isle, our next stop.� replies IngRaider.
�Oh, how beautiful.�
�Save it for-a someone who cares-a.� snaps Wario. �To me-a, it�s a tropical resort filled with-a cash.�
�How does Floating Isle stay afloat?� thinks Tingle aloud, although the word �thinks� is indeed giving him too much credit.
�With-a magic, duh!� answers Wario.
�Like fairy dust?� asks Tingle, stupidly.
�No, not like fairy dust, you fool.� growls Ganondorf.
�Fairy dust is for freakin� FAIRIES.� laughs Bowser.
�So what do you think we�ll be doing today, guys?� asks Zelda.
�Conquering the world, muah-ha-ha-ha-ha.� rants Bowser.
�Probably something stupid again,� replies Yoshi.
�Like collecting FAIRY DUST!� screams Tingle excitedly.
�How about NO!!!� roars Bowser.
�Attention, we are now preparing to land. Please hang onto your hats, fasten your seatbelts, and shift your chairs and trays into their neutral positions.� says IngRaider in an announcer-esque voice. Everyone on board cheers and they begin to disembark when the plane lands.
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�We have set up camp on the island and are awaiting participants of stupid Yoshi Stadium feature.�
�I told you, do not bother me. My soap opera is on.�
�Sorry sir. Just talking to myself now. Goodbye.(He turns on a tape recorder.) Awaiting arrival of the three shadow fiends. Or whatever the heck they�re called.�
�The chump sure likes hearing himself talk.� says a tiny shadow wearing a candy cane-like striped blue hat.
�Guh huh.� mumbles a fat one with a yellow hat.
�He sure does, sis.� chimes in a small one in red, the youngest of the three.
�Great timing ladies. We have quite an operation to pull off today.�
�Yes, I�ve secured the location of the first Chaos Emerald, Crump.� says Beldam, the one in blue.
�Guh huh.� mumbles Marilyn, decked out in yellow.
�Speak up, is that all you can say?� Beldam hisses.
�Leave her alone, Beldam. You�re always so mean.� says Vivian, who is sporting the red hat.
�Quiet, you wretch!� snaps Beldam.
Lord Crump just stares at the three Shadow Siren Sisters as they argue for a few minutes and finally calls out:
�Interesting story, ladies, but we must get down to business. You see, the one they call IngRaider is on the way, with a couple of those contestants from his stupid series. We must defeat him posthaste.�
�Blah.� coughs Beldam. �I hate British expressions.�
�Ok�..� responds Crump. �So where to?� he inquires.
�The first emerald will be found on Angel Island, the name given to the coast of this area. Begin your search now, chump. We�ll take care of IngRaider. Pshaw. How tough can he be?�
�You�re about to find out,� says Crump, as he points upward towards the sky and flees.
As the two look up, IngRaider�s jumbo-jet lands, and out come the seven Nintendo: The Mole contestants. They gasp at the sight of the hideously ugly Shadow Sirens.
�How dare you mock us fools?� screeches Beldam. �We are the beautiful, intelligent, and powerful Shadow Sirens. You will pay for your mistake, dearly,� she says, as she charges up a ball of dark energy between her hands and a smirk forms on her face. Marilyn and Vivian join her and prepare for attack, Marilyn with an electric charge, and Vivian with a deadly flame. �You will all perish in doom.�
�Yo, conductor dude.� she says pointing off the scene. �Play our anthem of doom.�
Creepy battle music begins to play as the contestants scatter across the beach as a battle ensues between them and the Shadow Sirens. The three sisters each launch their attacks at IngRaider, but he absorbs them and sends them back at twice the speed, knocking Marilyn into a rock wall.
�Guh huh,� she mumbles disoriented.
�C�mon, Vivian, get in the game!� yells Beldam. Vivian immediately jumps at Peach, who screams and runs into a tree. A coconut falls from it and knocks her out. Yoshi tosses several eggs at Vivian. One nails her right in the head, but she remains standing and throws tons of fire at Yoshi, who ducks into the water until Vivian foolishly uses all her fire and runs out of energy. Wario touches her with a single finger and she collapses in a heap, due to her exhausted state.
�Aack, I�m alone,� says Beldam. �Sisters join me.� All they do is moan, however, as they cannot get up at the moment. Beldam looks around nervously for support. �We take flight,� she says, as the sisters sink into the shadows. �The emeralds will be ours.�
�That was a bit weird,� says Zelda.
�Indeed,� responds Ganondorf.
�Welcome to Episode 4 of Nintendo: The Mole. You have come far, but now is where you must pick up the slack. From here on out, things will get a heck of a lot more difficult. You are to form teams and collect as many of the seven Chaos Emeralds as you can. There will be two teams of three, but you will not know whose team you are on until the emeralds are tallied. Therefore, it is your responsibility to collect the gems on your own.�
�What about the last person?� asks Yoshi.
�Huh?� says IngRaider.
�There are two teams of three, but seven contestants,� states Zelda.
�Very astute of you. You see, the last person, is the Mole. You will each be sent to a separate sector of the island and stranded there without any means of communication. The Mole will be able to warp from sector to sector at various warp-points, but the others must walk to the checkpoint of one area to progress to the next or previous. Collect as many emeralds as possible for your team. The winning team is guaranteed immunity at voting.
�Immunity? Like a shot?� asks Tingle.
�Not exactly. For those of you who watch Survivor, you know what I�m talking about. It means you cannot be voted off today. As for the Mole, you can play tricks on the other players and foil their efforts, but you must be very careful so that no one realizes you are the Mole. And one more thing: There will also be various others on the island. If you run into Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, or Dr. Eggman, you must engage them in battle for the Chaos Emerald you are fighting over. Good luck and beware of the Shadow Sirens. You have an entire day, teams. Ready, set, go.�
In a blinding flash of light, players are warped into various areas of Floating Isle and the game begins.
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Angel Island Zone:
�Huh. Where am I?� wonders a confused Peach. She has no idea where she is and begins to walk around and explore. �Better get started searching for those Chaos Emerald thingies,� she thinks to herself. Suddenly, a red blur speeds past her knocking her to the ground. �Wonder what that thing was,� Peach says frightened.
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Hydrocity Zone:
Wario, screaming like a maniac falls from the sky and plummets into the depths of water the await him. �It-a sure is wet-a.� he remarks. Wario begins to look around for Chaos Emeralds. He jumps a few platforms, gets out of the water, and begins to get a better view from the top of the zone. As he gazes down on Hydrocity Zone, he spots something shining in the distance. �It�s-a mine.� Wario shouts with excitement as he jumps in the direction of the source of the shininess.
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Icecap Zone:
�Brr. It sure is cold.� shivers Ganondorf, in the midst of the blizzard. �Better find some shelter and fast.� As he walks around, Ganondorf stumbles over a large stone. �The emerald? No way!� he thinks to himself. �Better grab it.� As he bends down to pick it up, a blazing steak of blue bumps into him, making him drop the emerald. When it comes to a stop, Ganondorf recognizes it as Sonic and says, �Oh shoot!�
�Unhand the emerald, fiend.� threatens Sonic, as he approaches Ganondorf at a high speed.
�No way, rodent.� Ganondorf answers coolly.
�I warned you.�
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Launch Base Zone:
Yoshi sits in the Launch Base of Dr. Eggman. He listens in on a conversation:
�So you say you�ve found the emerald, Knuckles?� asks Dr. Eggman.
�Yes sir. I�ve secured it for you right here.� Knuckles says, presenting the emerald with a grin on his face. �Sonic and Tails are goin� down!�
Yoshi dashes at Knuckles and catches him off guard, knocking him over. He picks up the emerald and tries to make a run for it, but Dr. Eggman is too quick for him.
�Seal all exits!� Eggman says, as he presses a button. �Where do you think you�re going, dino-dude?�
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Sandopolis Zone:
Bowser walks around lost in the desert.. He wanders into an ancient pyramid, thinking he will find an emerald there, but he doesn�t. In fact, he gets chased out by hordes of ghosts and he is screaming like a baby when he emerges. Now he gets a view of the area and sees a large lake, filled with water. �Water! Yes, I�m saved!� the Koopa King says with joy, as he rushes toward the lake. Just as he approaches it, the water dries up and he jumps into a pit of quicksand. �What?! A mirage! I�m so stupid.� shouts Bowser. That�s not all his troubles, as he looks down and sees he is standing in quicksand and begins to sink. �Uh oh. This can�t be good.�
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Lava Reef Zone:
�IT�S SOO HOT!!!� shouts Tingle, as he rushes around like an idiot searching for an area that is lava free. �I�m burnin� my freakin� rump!� he shouts, and continues to run in circles. The green-clad elf bumps into a stalactite and it falls from the ceiling, revealing a passageway. He enters and finds an emerald. Just as he rushes to it, a brown blur plummets into the cave and grabs it. Tingle also grabs it. �You�re goin� down, fox-boy.� says Tingle.
�I don�t think so, fool.� mutters Tails.
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Hidden Palace Zone:
�Hmm, where in a hidden palace do I find a hidden Chaos Emerald.� wonders Zelda. She begins to explore the palace and is in awe of its beauty. Zelda sees a large power generator and wonders to herself, what could possibly power that thing? Her question is answered as she notices a Chaos Emerald hooked up to it, giving its endless power supply to the machine. �I�ll take that.� says Zelda happily.
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On Angel Island Zone, Peach begins to search for the emerald. She realizes that it must be in the next section of the zone, so she progresses to the end of this one. As she does so, a man begs for her help:
�Hello ma�am, I�ve fallen to the ground and cannot get up. Please help me.� says a man who is obviously Lord Crump in a very terrible disguise.
�Oh sure, sir.� says Peach benevolently. As Peach reaches down to help, the Shadow Sirens slither past Peach, enter the part of the zone that contains the emerald, and seize it.
�That was way too easy,� whispers Beldam.
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In Hydrocity Zone, Wario apparently misgauged the distance on his jump, as he is heading for a rock wall and screaming like a bat out of heck.
�WAAH!!!� he screams loudly. As he hits the wall, Wario just smashes it into pieces with his incredible strength and bulk and is virtually unharmed. �Whew. That was close-a.� Wario splashes into a shallow pool of water with a robot sitting on top of a platform. It creates some whirlpools and throws him around. Wario just sends a single punch at the robot and it crumbles into pieces. He sinks into the next sector of Hydrocity Zone, where a shiny emerald awaits him. His eyes light up with greed upon seeing the gem.
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Ganondorf and Sonic are ready to duke it out in Icecap Zone. Ganondorf charges at Sonic and slams into him, knocking him into the ice-cold water. Sonic, not about to be done in that easily, counters with a charge of his own. Although Ganondorf weighs more, Sonic�s momentum is greater and he is sent flying into oblivion, only to land on top of Sonic again, crushing him. �Piece of cake.� says Ganondorf, seizing the emerald.
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Back in Launch Base Zone, Yoshi squares off with one of Eggman�s machines. He destroys it, just by rapidly firing eggs at it until it explodes into a heap of collapsed parts. Knuckles approaches Yoshi and engages him in a fist-fight. After getting hit by Knuckles several times and ending up with many bruises, Yoshi learns the pattern needed to dodge Knuckles�s attacks and thinks he is about to win. Knuckles, however, has only faked Yoshi out and delivers the blow that will KO the dinosaur. �Good riddance,� says Knuckles, as he tosses Yoshi out of the base.
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Bowser begins to panic as he sinks into the quicksand. He soon falls through, only to realize that the quicksand is a secret passageway to an underground emerald chamber.
�Sweet!� says Bowser, grabbing the emerald.
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Tails and Tingle both hold onto the emerald. Tails begins to fly upwards and try to dislodge Tingle�s grip from the stone. Tingle, however, is still holding on and will not budge. Tails flies faster, higher, zig-zags a lot, and almost hits Tingle into some obstacles. After twenty minutes of this, Tingle falls to the ground.
�Stupid fox!!� he whimpers, as Tails flies away with the emerald.
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Everyone is engulfed in the same white light that scattered them throughout the island as they are brought back to IngRaider.
�Time is up.� he says. �You guys did much better than I expected.� The group cheers in unison. �Let us tally up the emeralds. Wario, Ganondorf, Bowser, and Zelda have acquired emeralds. Wario, Ganondorf, and Bowser are on the same team, so that means THEY WIN. Congratulations guys!�
�No sweat,� says Wario.
�Since it would reveal the Mole�s identity, I will not state the members of the other team. But I will say that any of these three cannot be voted for, as they are immune. Besides, they aren�t the Mole anyway. But�..Now, if someone gets the most votes, even if they are not the Mole, they will be forced to leave. And in the event of a tie, the Mole picks someone else off. With that, let�s vote.�
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�Here we are at the voting ceremony.� states IngRaider. I give the floor to Yoshi. Who do you think is the Mole and why?�
�Well, that�s a very good question, Ing�� he starts.
�QUIT STALLING, BUTHEAD.� shouts Ganondorf.
�Cut-a to the chase-a.� chimes in Wario.
Yoshi clears his throat very loudly. �As I was saying, I would�ve though Bowser was the Mole, but since he has immunity and we know he isn�t the Mole, I�ll say Peach. She often allowed herself to be hit last episode by the Pirates and didn�t do anything about it. She also didn�t collect an emerald for the team this time around.�
�Neither did you,� points out Peach.
�Well, in case you didn�t notice, I was defeated by Knuckles. You, on the other hand, let an emerald slip from your grasp.�
�I can�t help it if I�m a helpful person. Jeez.�
�You could clearly see that you were tricked. I could see it all. Launch Base has video monitors that show ever stage on the island. If you weren�t so stupid��..�
�Alright, that�s enough.� says IngRaider. �Thank you Yoshi. Bowser, what do you think?�
�I think we should vote for Yoshi this round, guys. The hypocrite accuses Peach of missing an emerald, but he missed one himself.�
�Um, Bowser can I add something?� asks Ganondorf.
�Sure, dude.�
�Well, in the later rounds, we�re gonna need strong team members. And Yoshi isn�t exactly the buffest guy on the planet. So we need to get rid of him. Now.�
�Well, Peach is even weaker than Yoshi.� points out Zelda. �She should go, if anyone.
�What-a about you-a, princess?� says Wario. �You�re weak as well.�
�But she is strong intellectually.� states Ganondorf. �We need brains here too.�
�Those are some good arguments, guys. Let�s vote to see who you think, is the weakest link. Err, I mean the Mole. To find out who you think is the Mole. Yeah, that�s it. When I call your name, tell me who you voted for. It�s better this way, so you can see who your enemies really are.�
�Peach?�
�Yoshi.�
�Wario?�
�Peach.�
�Ganondorf?�
�Yoshi.�
�Yoshi?�
�Peach.�
�Bowser?�
�Yoshi.�
�Tingle?�
�Peach.�
�And Zelda, to break the tie?�
�Peach.�
�Ohh.� says Wario.
�Very good detective work, team. Peach was indeed the Mole. I advise you to stay on your toes. Peach�s allies shall make you pay. Find out next episode who will leave next. Until then, goodbye.�
On the next Nintendo: The Mole:
With only six contestants left, things are getting tough. Who will emerge victorious? An intellectual visit to the Temple of Time will narrow it down. Stay tuned for the ultimate quiz challenge, next time on Nintendo: The Mole.