| Episode 17: Mario??!! |
| Mario awoke from a good night's sleep and was feeling great. He was extrmemly well-rested and energized, but something felt different. "Top o� the mornin�, Marlin!� said a rather ridiculous looking Scottish gentleman to Mario. He merely shrugged and continued to move on. Mario meandered down to the park. The usual water fountain was flowing with magma and the skeletal remains of the pigeons that used to perch on it. Everything felt fine, but there was something different, something the plumber could not put his finger on. �Morning son,� said a jovial looking Toad to Mario. �Get out the vote! Re-elect Larry Koopa for district governor!� Once again, Mario shrugged and continued walking through the park. He spotted a multitude of campaign posters urging people to vote for Larry and one for another candidate. Some loser by the name of Louis. What a dope, Mario thought. He�ll never win the election. Why not? Because Koopas always won the race for governor. No one ever defied the dynasty of Lord Bowser, the noble creator of the planet and protector of mankind. It was just the accepted law of nature and no one ever argued. A second candidate always ran just for the sake of �democracy�. But what was democracy anyway? Democracy was a concept that was dead in the modern world. How the heck did countries like the US ever get along with such a system? What garbage! Anyway, Mario sensed something was amiss, but he couldn�t quite put his finger on it. The world seemed very strange and the communist system of the Koopa Klan seemed wrong. It couldn�t have always been like that. But Mario didn�t argue with himself. After all, what did he know? Lord Bowser had outlawed democracy and independent thought, so it must be bad, because after all, Bowser knows what�s best for running the world, which consisted of one continent called Bowseria, surrounded on all sides by the Great Sea. Which really wasn�t a sea after all? More like a ton of putrid water populated by evil Piranha Plants. Everyone hated and feared the Piranhas. If you broke the law, you were fed to the Piranhas and you were pretty much dead. A voice broke Mario�s train of thought. �Polls close in five minutes!� shouted a Koopa with a megaphone. �Larry for governor!� Mario quickly refocused on his decision to vote. He entered the voting booth and decided to vote for that Louis fellow. He didn�t know quite why, but he felt driven to. Something seemed familiar to him about that green suit and mustache that reminded him of someone�.. These were crazy thoughts, though. Mario had just heard of this guy today, he had never known him before. Unless�... Mario�s head was ready to explode. I can see why Bowser outlawed free thought, takes a toll on the brain, he concluded. Something was definitely strange and Mario was determined to find out what. He almost plowed right through a guy in utter frustration. He was Lance, the village swordsman, walking with his girlfriend, Zelia. �Watch where you�re going comrade!� shouted the swordsman. �Sorry Lance, I�m just a bit off today,� remarked Mario. �Where are you off to in such a hurry?� �Oh, we�re meeting Yannick for a politics lecture,� said Zelia. �Care to join us, comrade?� �No thanks,� Mario said. Politics lecture?? What the� �I think I�d better catch up on some sleep. See you around.� �Goodbye comrade,� cried Lance. �May we meet again soon!� �Farewell,� said Mario. I really have to get some sleep. Everything seems so weird, he thought. �. �Excellent!� laughed Bowser. �What is it sir?� queried Kammy Koopa. �Those fools don�t remember who they are! Everything is working out perfectly. They�ll never stop me! Muahahaha!!!!� He was joined in a chorus of raucous laughter from Kammy, Ganon, Grodus, and Crump as the world was thrown into a state of doom. �. Samus Aran awoke in a daze. It felt as if she had been sleeping for hours, or even days, yet she was still so incredibly tired. The bounty hunter seemed to have lost track of time altogether as she lied on the cobblestone floor, drifting in thought. �What am I doing here?� Samus queried aloud. �Where am I and where is everyone else? This is really weird.� �Mail call,� said a voice from outside. �Come in,� welcomed Samus. A Dry-Bones handed her a stack of envelopes, most of them Bowser propaganda. �Thank you!� she said. �No, thank you ma�am,� replied the heap of bones. �Continue to support Bowser and his family in the upcoming elections. Your vote is appreciated.� �Ok�.,� said Samus feeling as if something was a bit weird. The postman left and Samus began talking to herself. Bowser? Why should I be loyal to him? she thought. Last I checked, he didn�t rule the world. Unless...... No way!! It can�t be!!! Samus peered outside and saw a large statue of Bowser erected in the middle of town. A smaller statue, marked �Larry Koopa, Governor�, stood in front of it. The town was bustling with Koopas, most of them Dry Bones or otherwise in a state of rotting flesh. Where the water should have been were pools of magma or deadly toxins. �What the heck happened here?� Samus shouted. �Bowser shouldn�t be in charge. He�s evil!!!� �Hey, who�s that I hear condemning our leader, savior, and on source of true hope in this life?� queried a Koopatrol. �Is it you, Miss Spacesuit? Treason is punishable by death. Minions attack!� A crowd of Koopas armed with torches and pitchforks surrounded Samus. Piranha Plants oozed from the ground. �Just try me,� remarked Samus. �I�ll shatter these sacks of bones.� She drew her Power Beam and devastated most of the small force that stood before her. �Come on,� she taunted. �You dare defy not only the will of our ruler, but our God as well! For that you shall pay!� �Bowser, God?!� Samus started laughing. �That�s very funny. You crack me up.� �Fool!� the Koopatrol screeched. Rains of fire fell from the sky, as did fire arrows. Samus rolled up into a ball and dodged all of this. �I�ll have the Royal Guard on ye!!� screamed the Koopatrol as Samus shot a plasma shot at him that disintegrated his entire form. Now that that was settled, Samus was left to her own thoughts. What happened here? Where�s the rest of the group? Did Bowser alter time so no one remembers the past? Did he make himself an all-powerful leader? There�s just no way he pulled it off. �Howdy Samantha,� greeted Mario. �Mario?� Samus replied. �No silly, me name�s Marlin,� responded Mario. �No, it�s definitely Mario!� she demanded. �And my name�s Samus. Samus Aran, the bounty hunter! We need to find the others and put a stop to Bowser�s fiendish rule.� �He�s such a great guy, ain�t he,� said Mario soothingly. �I wanna grow up to be just like Bowser.� �No!!!� shouted Samus. �How come I remember and you don�t? Bowser erased the previous world and created this nightmare. Why, why, why?� �Don�t know,� replied Mario. �Want a biscuit?� �No thanks. We really gotta get you back to normal. Why wasn�t I affected like you were? Unless�. Technology!� Samus shouted. �My suit�s technology, a remnant of the past, which is why it didn�t get obliterated through Bowser�s alteration of the time-stream! Aha! I�ve got it!� �What you sayin�?� queried Mario. �You talk too much. And you use some funny words.� �Mario, err.., Marlin,� said Samus. �You gotta help me. We�re going on a quest to save the world.� �Ain�t quests fer them super hero folks?� asked Mario. �You were a super hero in your day,� said Samus. �You were an Italian plumber called Mario who spoke with an accent. You were skilled with jump and hammer techniques and you sought to rid the world of evil, especially of your nemesis, Bowser.� �I thought I told you already,� demanded Mario. �Bowser�s my best friend. He�s everybody�s best friend. He�s so nice, that bloke.� �You have to trust me on this, Marlin,� shouted Samus. �The world is in danger and if you don�t help me, the planet will never exist as it was. Just go along with it.� �What�s in it for me?� asked Mario. �You can have my gunship if we pull this off,� promised Samus. �Wow! A gunship. Must be pretty important, this quest thing of yours then.� �Yes, very. So will you do it?� �Sure why not? I need to get out more often and this is the best opportunity anyhow. �There�s one problem. There�s only two of us. If we�re to defeat Bowser, we�re going to need the help of Luigi, Yoshi, Link, and Zelda! They all must be here, though.� �You mean Louis, Yannick, Lance, and Zelia?� asked Mario, quickly correcting her. �Why, they all live in this here village. Let�s round �em up and get going!� �That�s the spirit!� said Samus. �Now we have to refresh you with your techniques. Show me a fire attack.� �Nooo!!!� gapsed Mario. �The firebrand has been outlawed in this land!� �This is gonna be harder than I thought,� groaned Samus. �But we can do it. I know we can.� �Hey Marlin,� shouted a voice. It was Louis, the other candidate for governor. �I just wanted to say I appreciate you voting for me in the election today.� �Really?� asked Mario. �How�d you know it was me?� �I�ve had my eye on you lately,� remarked Louis. �You had it in you. Say, you wouldn�t make a bad candidate yourself.� �Did you win?� queried Marlin. �Of course not,� cried Louis. �Lost the damn election 999-1. It still means something to me that you care. �Say Louis, would you mind helping Samantha and I with this quest thing of ours. We would really appreciate it.� �For you, no problem. In fact, I overheard your plight and I brought along Yannick and Lance to help you guys out.� �But what about Zelda?� queried Samus. �Zelia�s been taken captive by that ruddy lot!� stormed Lance. �It�s not fair,� he sobbed. �WHY?! We must save her!!!� �Yes, let�s head off now,� remarked Samus. �We�ll start with taking down Larry, that no-good crack-head of a governor. From then, we�ll seize control of every empire in this twisted world until we destroy Bowser himself.� �Might I suggest a simpler plan?� asked Lance. �A mystic force lies in the mountaintop palace that holds the chaos emeralds. It can only be wielded by one warrior, this one noble and true sole, the Chosen One. Only the Chosen One can save this world from eternal darkness. The only problem is, getting to the temple. We need to seize control of a cannon to shoot to the mountaintop.� �Let�s do it!� applauded Yannick. �Only problem is, the cannons are under heavy guard.� �I have an idea,� said Samus. �We can take control of Larry�s army at the capital, the use the power of our newly-acquired forces to take the cannon.� �Excellent!� Let�s go!� said the group in unison. �. �Those fools are so confused,� cackled Crump. �They�ll never figure out the truth and by then, we�ll have destroyed them.� �You will not touch them!� roared Bowser. �Mario is my enemy and only I can slit his throat. But the time is not right.� �I sense trouble brewing,� remarked Kammy Koopa. �Mario is down, but definitely not out. We mustn�t underestimate the plumber and his friends. They can prove to be most deceiving.� �Doesn�t hurt to take precautions,� thought Bowser. �Lock them up! They won�t stand in my way. Gwahahahaha!!!!!� |
| Last time.... With Bowser and Ganondorf able to alter the time-space continuum and the very memories of our heroes, the future looks bleak. |