episode11b

Episode 11: Not another "damsel in distress" plot

�Are we there yet?� queried Yoshi. A classic question in the face of danger. Or just really extreme boredom like they were experiencing now waiting to reach their destination.

�Almost,� replied Ganondorf.

�Good,� remarked Yoshi. �I�m tired of all this traveling.�

�Don�t worry,� added Link. �We�re gonna smack this Grodus dude down real soon. Then we can get back to normal.�

�Yeah,� said Ganon. �I haven�t showered in months!�

�Dude, we�ve only been gone for two days,� remarked Yoshi. He and Link began to laugh. Ganon just looked down, slightly embarrassed.

�What?� asked Ganon. �It�s true! Three and a half months, no shower.�

The group just winced at this fact before moving on.

�What? I was kidding!� stated Ganon.

�Hey, I think we�re here!� exclaimed Link, peering out the windows and staring at the Moon.

�Let�s land this thing so we can finish off Grodus,� said Yoshi triumphantly.

�And so I can take my shower,� added Ganon humorously.

�Right��.,� replied Link, moving away from Ganon slightly. �You do that.�

The group quickly disembarked and then headed for the door to the entrance which they had previously destroyed. It was still in ruins, but unlike their last entrance, this time they were greeted by Grubba and some X-Nauts.

�You�re goin� down,� shouted Grubba, cracking his knuckles as more X-Nauts parachuted around Link, Yoshi and Ganondorf in a circle.

�Uh oh,� said Yoshi.

�We�re screwed,� added Link.

�.

�Weaklings-a,� remarked Mario, as he and Luigi easily finished off the squad of robots Lord Crump sent to destroy them with.

�Haha,� added Luigi, although Mario had clearly just done all the work, but Luigi, as usual, was taking the credit.

�Let�s-a rescue the others-a now,� instructed Mario.

The intercom in the hall quickly turned on and the wretched sound of Lord Crump�s voice filled the air.

�Hey Mario Bros., Bowser and Samus aren�t the only ones who need rescuing!� A TV flashed on so Mario and Luigi could see Peach and Zelda struggling against the rope that held them captive.

�MARIOOO!!!!! HELP!!!!!� squealed Peach.

�You�ll pay for this, Crump,� fumed Zelda angrily.

�In your dreams,� replied Lord Crump. �As for you boys, don�t think they�ll be rescued so easily. Muahahahaha!!!!!� The intercom and TV turned off, leaving Mario and Luigi twice as frustrated as they were a few seconds ago. Then, without warning, it flashed back on and Grodus was speaking this time.

�You know what Crump, they�d better hear this,� he said.

�Good point!� agreed Crump. �This is the part when we threaten the world leader!� he added gleefully.

�Threaten-a,� laughed Mario. �You-a, threatening?�

�Yeah-a,� added Luigi. �You bluff-a. You have-a no plans.�

�Well I guess you guys missed out on my plot,� sneered Grodus. �Very well, you�ll be filled in on the plan and all its genius when we tell it to the world.�

A monitor flashed on in Grodus�s room and he began to speak at once.

�Greetings Mr. President,� said Grodus cheerfully.

�What do you want?� said the Toad in the monitor angrily.

�Well, fungus-head,� snapped Grodus, his mood quickly changing from casual to business-like. �I have developed a weapon that has the power to move the Earth. I shall send it into the Sun and well�.you know the rest.�

�How much do you want?� queried the president, angry as ever.

�One hundred billion dollars,� said Grodus dramatically. �Muahahaha!!!! And another ten million dollars each for the safe return of Princesses Peach and Zelda,� he added, showing his prisoners to the president.

�I�ll never pay your ransom,� raged the president, trembling in fear.

�Very well,� taunted Grodus. �It�s your planet, not mine. Good day to you sir.�

The intercom went off and Grodus began to complain.

�He didn�t seem worried at all,� yelled Grodus. �Now we�re not going to get any money out of this deal.�

�But we can still have some fun with our enemies,� suggested Crump.

�Good point,� laughed Grodus. �They shall understand the meaning of torture in a few short hours.�

Grodus looked at the monitor and saw that the Mario Bros. were still watching.

�Turn that thing off, Lord Crump!� he shouted �You just gave away our plans.�

�Oops,� said Crump, picking up a remote control and turning off the monitor.

�We must-a rescue them-a,� said Luigi to Mario.

�And fast-a,� added Mario. �Who-a knows what stunts-a Grodus will try to pull-a.�

�..

�It�s go time,� remarked Yoshi.

�I�ve been itchin� for a scrap all day,� added Ganondorf, giving off a vibe that he wasn�t scared at all.

�Well you�ve got it,� said Grubba. �X-Nauts attack!�

A few X-Nauts dived at Ganon. He seized one and tossed it at a crowd of them, toppling them all like bowling pins. Meanwhile, Yoshi was battling a small group of X-Nauts as well, nailing them all in the head with eggs. As for Link, he was squaring off with Grubba. Neither had made a move yet; they were just staring each other down right now, like in one of those old westerns when the hero meets the bad guy for a showdown.

�Is that all you got?� taunted Ganondorf.

�Come on,� added Yoshi. �At least hit me. You can�t be that pathetic.�

Link unsheathed his sword and charged at Grubba. Grubba was ready for the assault, catching Link�s foot with his own arm and making him trip, sending the sword flying into Grubba�s gut. Howling in pain, he pried the weapon out and tossed it at Link, barely missing his head. Link caught his sword and began to use long-distance weapons against Grubba, shooting him with arrows and lobbing bombs at him.

�Hey, no fair,� remarked Grubba. �I guess I�ll have to step it up a notch.�

He lunged at Link, seemingly impervious to the barrage of arrows and bombs that was hitting him. Grubba collided with Link painfully, slamming him into the wall and leaving him stunned momentarily. Yoshi and Ganon had finished off all the X-Nauts and were closing in on Grubba.

�Grr, you win this round,� stated Grubba, backing away into an open corridor and running for his life. �But I�ll be back! Mark my words!�

�Here�s the main chamber,� said Yoshi, pointing to a nearby room on the directory. �Let�s kick some butt.�

�.

�Long time no see,� remarked Samus to the Mario Bros.

�Yeah, yeah,� grumbled Bowser. �So how�s it going? Are we winning?�

�Sort of-a,� replied Mario. �We destroyed-a the weapon that-a Grodus was going to use-a to take over the world-a.�

�Then what�s the problem?� queried Samus.

�Well-a,� began Luigi. �Peach and-a Zelda have been captured by Grodus and he wants-a money.�

�And-a if he-a doesn�t get it-a, he�s-a going to kill them-a,� added Mario.

�Cool,� laughed Bowser. �That sounds like the sort of thing I would do.� Samus slapped him in the face. �Uh�..I mean, if I was still evil. No, that didn�t come out right. Well I AM still evil technically, but you know what I mean.�

�Yeah whatever,� replied Samus. �So what�s the plan?�

�We-a reunite with the rest of the group-a, then storm Grodus�s lair-a,� answered Luigi.

�Easy enough,� commented Bowser. �This map says they�re in the hallway next to us.� He opened the door and sure enough, Ganon, Link and Yoshi were standing on the other side.

�Hey guys,� said Yoshi. �You managed to break out Bowser and Samus?�

�No, we escaped ourselves,� replied Samus.

�We beat-a Cackletta though,� said Mario.

�That�s good,� remarked Link. �We chased off Grubba.�

�Greta,� replied Samus. �Grodus�s minions are so stupid and useless anyway.

�I�m surprised no one�s caught us by now,� added Ganondorf. �I mean, we�re not exactly allowed in Grodus�s lair.�

Right on cue, the wall next to them was smashed down. By who, by what, no one knows. Because the perpetrator seems to be invisible, or at least really fast. It appears to be��.Metal Sonic.

�Metal Sonic Version 2.0 XX, actually,� corrected Grodus, his voice coming through on the intercom once again. I know it�s a clich�, but make them hurt!� he said to the robot.

�Here we go again,� remarked Yoshi. �Yet another battle. Whee!�

�.

Back in Grodus�s main chamber, Lord Crump was preparing Peach and Zelda for death.

�No one�s come,� he said. �No one�s offered to pay a ransom for your lives. I guess you�re better off dead then.� He raised his newly sharpened knife to the air, the turned to the princesses. Grodus knocked the knife out of his hand and frowned at him disapprovingly.

�Lord Crump, what have I told you?� asked Grodus. �You follow my plans and instructions at all times. AND I DID NOT ORDER YOU TO JUST KILL THEM!!! What the @#$% were you thinking?�

�Well, every time you set up one of your elaborate evil plans, it doesn�t work.,� Crump replied. �Your enemies escape, you get beaten up, something like that always happens.�

�While that may be, I guess you forgot who�s the boss around here,� said Grodus. �I am, Lord Crump. When you have your own evil empire, then you�ll be the boss. But right now, my evil empire, I�m boss. Simple enough?�

�Yes sir,� grumbled Crump. �This crap�s not gonna work,� he whispered.

�I heard that,� sang Grodus in a menacing tone.

�Sorry sir,� replied Crump.

�Enough of this @#$%ing around,� said Peach. �What are you going to do with us?�

�Yeah, we haven�t got all day!� snapped Zelda.

�Glad you asked,� remarked Grodus. �We�re going to put you in a situation that gradually kills you with one inept guard, and let you die.�

�That won�t work!� said Zelda. �Have you guys ever seen Austin Powers?�

�If it worked once, then it�ll work again,� replied Grodus.

�It didn�t work,� stated Zelda.

�What�s your point?� asked Grodus. �It�s not like you can stop us. You�re a bit tied up to do anything right now. Muahahaha!!!�

�And we�ve finally figured out how to get our money!� added Crump.

�What�s the plan?� queried Grodus.

�Even though the Mario Bros. destroyed our tractor beam, I say we just threaten to fire a nuclear weapon at the Earth,� suggested Crump. �I mean, we�ve got plenty of them.�

�That�ll work, get �em shaken up while we steal the hand,� said Grodus.

�You idiots won�t do a thing,� shouted Peach.

�Watch us,� replied Grodus, laughing evilly. �It�s over for you now!�

Last time...............
Despite being tricked by Beldam, the Mario Bros. found and destroyed Grodus's weapon with the help of Cackletta, who, unintentionally, did their work for them. Meanwhile, Bowser and Samus escaped Grodus's prison cell and Grodus and the other heroes escaped the exploding Tallon IV. Now, Grodus has seized Peach and Zelda and is holding them for ransom. Will the heroes be able to save the princesses from their captors?