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| My Three "Men" | |||
| Back in 1986 when my future mother-in-law mentioned my fiance had ADD as a child, I had no idea what she was talking about. I remember she said he'd taken Ritalin for a while but it made him cry horribly so they took him off it and never tried anything else. | |||
| It wasn't until my second son was born that the few stories she had shared came back to me. Even as a tiny baby, Stephen was very different. He didn't like to be held, he wanted to be able to move around. As he got older, the differences became more apparent. He never napped and when he slept at night, it seemed to be a very light sleep. In fact, you could carry on complete conversations with him while he slept. He almost never woke up in his bed...he was usually on the floor in the hallway or the couch or the laundry basket. Punishments never worked for him either. I would put him in the corner and he would stand there and have the best time wiggling his fingers and talking away to himself. In fact, the only thing that ever got Stephen's attention was holding him still where he couldn't move. | |||
| When it was time for Stephen to start school, we hoped the regiment would settle him down. It did not. His teacher, who was absolutely wonderful to him, gave us a list of things he did during the day. He very rarely completed any work. He would sit at his desk for only a minute or two at a time. Most of the time, he just wandered around the classroom. He would be sent to the office to turn the juice money in and never return. The other students were beginning to get irritated with his antics. Because of my husband's problems as a child, we decided to have him tested by a psychologist who gave us the results...ADHD. I have to admit that I was a little happy with the results. At least now there was a name and a cause for his behavior. | |||
| After several months of trying different medications and dosages, we came to terms with Adderall which has been a pure gift for us. His school performance improved, he was getting along better with the kids at school and best of all, I could actually carry on a conversation with him (outside of his sleep time). | |||
| My oldest son has ADD and my youngest has ADHD. And my husband, who seems to have the signs of the adult form of ADD, has never really fulfilled his potential. He is very smart but gave up on school early on. It's hard not to blame his parents (especially his mother who was a school teacher) for not trying to help their son but blaming doesn't get us anywhere now. At least we have tried to do the best for our sons. The only real regret I have about this whole situation is the attitude of some people about the medication. They seem to act as if I don't want to be bothered with my children so I give them drugs to get them out of my hair. Nothing could be further from the truth and in fact, I never give my oldest medicine on the weekends and very rarely give it to my youngest on the weekends. But I suppose that stigma will always exist. I only hope that one day, those people have to deal with a child like my Stephen. Then they'll understand. | |||