linda



		HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD IS ADD? by Linda McPheeters

I was laying in bed one night, remembering a parent asking "How do I know my child is ADD?" The remembrance triggered Arlo Gutherie's beloved "Alice's Restaurant". I think most of us may be familiar with this song, the inevitable questions that are asked on pre-evaluations and diagnosing of a child. The tune kept churning over and over.

I was sitting on the POW bench and the Doctor Says "Whadda ya in for kid" ...And I said ... I said... "To find sanity. The Boy can never slow down enough to think ... I'm concerned that he will harm someone or himself. I want him to have friends, to play with legos by himself..."

One of the questions asked was "Was your pregnancy normal?" Now I am sitting here on the POW bench, in despair, and never had a child before the one I brought in, or since. So of course I said "Yes." At least, I believed it was.

I went through the same things as other women do. The changing of the body. Receiving breasts where there weren't none before. Needing to eat by 8:00 a.m., 1:00 p.m., and 6:00 p.m. or this bundle of joy was going to make me pay. In a big way. There is no easy or pleasant way of placing this description for view on paper.

So here I am sitting on the POW bench and the next question is ... "Explain the different trimesters." I'm thinking to myself "Do I havta?" The familiar glossy eye of reflection crosses over. We know that look. The glance of the eyeball shifting to the right and up? Trying to grasp a firm and accurate picture? All I can really visualize is getting that warm glow that people say that we women get. I call it getting fat.

I was one of those weird moms to be. Carried the 3x5 glossy sonogram picture of the great debate between me and the Doctor. "Ah, it's a girl!" "Nope, it's a boy." "It's a girl." "A boy." "Well, you're gaining weight too fast." "Maybe twins, but it's a girl." "It moves too much. It's a boy." This was the great debate, and it was only the 4th month. So I'm in the Doctor's office, sitting on the POW bench, and the Doctor says "Woman, you're imagining things."

The nine months slip by as graciously as gracious allows. Still weighing the same at nine months as I did at the fourth. The debate turns from boy-or-girl to due date. However the conversation went, we were both wrong. November 10, 1985 rolls around. While the Doctor is at his daughter's wedding, my son decides to start the arrival process. Never mind whose plans he would be interfering with. November 11, "The Boy" is here.

So once again, I'm sittin' on the POW bench and Doctor asks "...Mom?...How was the birthing process?" And "Was it normal?"

I wanted to be Spock that moment. I wanted to say "The question is theoretically irrelevant to the situation at hand. The logical solution is to decipher how to prevent this male child from evolving into a pious Klingon."

Recognizing the Doctor may not have a dry sense of humor, I resorted to explaining the process. This male child did not pay attention during the Lamaze classes. If the boy would have listened, he would have known to be almost dormant during the birth process. It would have saved a lot of unnecessary inconvenience, such as stitches, waddling, money.

Not my kid.

The Medical Personnel hooked a monitor via the exit, connecting to the baby's head. I virtually had a cesarean...not across the abdomen. The boy needed to return from whence he came. He was not cooperative. The boy would not stop moving. The boy became tangled in the cord. Gah, poor kid. He was in trouble even before fully emerging into this world. To me, yes, this was normal. I had never given birth before. Or since.

After doing some research, the question of "why" became clear. I had found that most children who are ADHD have complications during the birthing process. I never had problems during pregnancy. Just during birthing. I learned my son and I would have been "knocking on Heaven's door" if he was born 20 years earlier.

So be sure to sit quietly on the POW Bench for Moms. Answer these questions to the best of your ability. The questions are needed. The questions are relevant to the study of ADHD. These questions are the first step to freeing your son or daughter from being just another "bad seed."

Oh, did I mention my parents' unintentional wish did come true? I now have this wonderful blue-eyed, dishwater-blond, rock-carrying, and always-experimenting boy. His behavior is a copy of mine as a child. And neither of us are bad seeds. We are ADHD.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws