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A.D.D. Jokes |
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You Know You're ADD When.... |
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...you are driving down the street and you notice that you still have the TV remote in your hand. |
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...you go to put something away in the other room and forget to take it with you. |
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...you get up at 6:30 to be ready to leave for work by 8:30, you're ready in 45 minutes but you're playing on the computer and you leave late anyway. |
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...you make a cake and when it should have been ready to take out of the oven, it didn't get done because it wasn't there... the pan of batter was still sitting on the counter. |
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...at the drive-thru bank you send your glasses to the teller instead of your deposit. |
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...you forget what you're looking for, but continue to look for it hoping you'll recognize it when you see it. |
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...you spend twenty minutes putting in your contact lens to no avail. Then you throw it away thinking it was defective and pull out a new one, only for it to do the same thing, BECAUSE...you had already put one in that eye! |
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...you go out to lunch and the waiter never comes to take your order because if you close the menu, you will forget what you wanted. |
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...you're nickname is "the blur." |
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...an elf steals your homework out of your bookbag...EVERY day. |
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1995 Shelly Curtiss |
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A few excerpts from the Whitman/Curtiss ADD Dictionary |
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ADDOSECOND (ad o sek and) n. the smallest unit of time ever measured, which is the length of time from when an ADDer promises to do something, and then forgets about it. |
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ADDVENTURE (ad ven cher) n. what it is like living with someone who has ADD. |
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CARNESIA (car ne zhi a) n. 1.not being able to remember where you parked the car. 2. Forgetting which car you drove. 3. Forgetting that you actually walked. 4. Forgetting that you don't even own a car. |
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DOMINANT JEAN (dam a nant jeen) n. the clean pair of jeans that always ends up at the top of the dirty clothes pile. |
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EFFICIENT (a fish ant) a. having to do with fish. Or at least sounding like fish in the middle. Must have something to do with being smelly and slimy or just plain, well, fishy. As in her house isn't very neat; she must be very efficient. |
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FLOOR (flor) n. a storage area for clothing. |
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GAB (gab) n. the gift bestowed upon those with ADD. |
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HEREAFTER SYNDROME (her af tar sin drom) n. the habit of standing in the middle of a room (or shopping mall) and asking "What am I here after?" |
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