by Steve
I now look back at my 51 years and can see where this illness played a part, although not entirely, in some of my life failures and relationships. It also explains many things I never understood. I base my day on what I call my metronome, my internal timing device. When my metronome is in sync my life is in sync, when it's out of sync, look out it's Adderall time. I try to catch it before it gets out of time and usually do. I still have some trouble with the medication if the stress level at work gets extreme which it often does. The Adderall can make things worse in times of extreme stress and my best remedy is to go out and take a walk until the mushy brain and the metronome return to somewhat normal. My wife loves the medicated me. When I get up at 5:00 am and start sweeping the floor, reading the paper, watching the news, typing on the computer, and three or four other things at one time she knows it's Adderall time. About an hour later I'm down to doing one or two things at a time. Life becomes good. Weekends have become much less stressful for my wife. She can take me shopping and the lines, traffic and people no longer bother me. I actually go to long drive through lines just to prove I can now do it. It used to be any line at all anyplace would really upset me. I also quit making obscene gestures at other drivers and for the most part quit driving like a maniac. I don't start a million projects a weekend that I can never finish. I'm now completing projects I started years ago. I've returned items to Home Depot I bought over a year ago because I have no urge to start projects I can't realistically finish. Another major point is that I have for the most part lost the desire for "risky behavior" and "adrenaline related rushes." My wife's favorite is the fact that I can deal with family social functions and sit still during church and other functions.
There are many other positive aspects but too many to mention. My nurse practitioner monitors me fairly closely and confers with the staff Md.'s. She provides me with reassurance and tells me when I need to get my act back together. The medication is only part of the treatment, education and life style changes are also required to properly deal with the problem. I have also spoken to a psychiatrist and he said it sounds like I have a handle on the problem and he is available if I need him. Every day is still a challenge but the playing field is just a little more level.