First of all the history, and oh yeah, I'm almost 57 years old. My vague recollections of my youth are one of misery, failure, rejection, etc. My older (by 4 years) brother tells me that when I was just learning to speak all that would come out was gibberish. They even clipped the tissue under my tongue as I remember. My brother used to have to translate for me (probably 'his' version of who broke what.) In grade school they sent me for audiometer tests to see if I was deaf (I had excellent hearing and later became a Sonarman in the Navy.)
I didn't have a happy youth. I was used in grade school more as a "recess target" than anything else. I daydreamed a lot. Once, whilst I was off somewhere, my 6th (?) grade teacher broke a yard stick over my head in class, which also broke the entire class up. Now 'that' was something I'll never forget, though in her defense it was one of those very cheap yardsticks, and it wasn't the first time that I was only present in body . . .
In high school the beatings and my own temper tantrums gradually began to fade (though the temper thing has been with me to this day - though diminished) possibly due to the fact that I was growing rather husky, and that the 'guys' were growing more interested in the 'girls.' I was very quiet by that time, and pretty much of a loner and a failure academically. I also remember being beaten or slapped for saying things that afterwards I couldn't figure out why I had said. During my fifth year of high school I finally turned 18 and could legally quit and do what I had been dreaming of all my life - join the Navy. I wanted to be a 'lifer' and make it a career. I wanted to be on Destroyers.
I did fairly well in boot camp, though there was one odd incident which occurred toward the end when the 'Chief' in charge of our company was becoming more friendly to the troops. I came strolling into the barracks one day and he had about twenty of the guys around him (telling sea stories I presume) and when he saw me he exclaimed "and there's [Richard the second] who tries harder than anyone else in the whole company and is still [messed] up!" In Sonar school which followed boot camp I was set back one class for "academic' problems. Through the next four years on each of the three ships that I served on it seemed that the petty officer directly over me always had some sick grudge against me. I got out of the Navy as soon as my enlistment was over. I still love ships, especially those destroyers.
My first 'job' was with the phone company. That lasted two weeks because when it came time to climb the telephone poles using spikes I couldn't stand the fear of falling. My second job was boring and I was told that one of the bosses wanted to fire me but I quit first because I had been chosen as one of four out of two hundred applicants to go on the local police force. I lasted on that Police force for only three months (they put you on the street first and if they wanted to keep you they then sent you to Police Academy.) My (first) wife then suggested that "since I studied books on physics and astronomy all the time" why didn't I go to college while she worked. I had this sense of dread and excitement at the same time but the chance was irresistable.
The next seven years were then a mixture of heaven and hell as I slowly worked and flunked my way through college and side jobs. I eventually did go back and salvage an Associates in Arts degree - after seven years of effort. I also ended it by wrecking my marriage, mainly through guilt at being such a failure. She didn't walk away from me, I closed off the communications and basically turned my back on her, something which I will always regret. I was also having thoughts of suicide (mental exercises only - that is daydreams - nothing concrete.) [Note Here] Within the ironies of life is the fact that my present marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me - so be it!
[ I once "aced" a class passing every test with 100% scores (this university class had no homework to do.) It was Beginning Physics for non-physics majors and my own first physics class. The instructor was very bad at explaining the subject matter and after class the second day I helped another student by re-teaching the material to her. She and several of her friends then stayed after each day of class and I taught them what the instructor had tried the hour before to do. My own performance in that class astonished me though I never repeated it. ]
Where am I today then? Remarried for 21 years - and in marriage counseling which is where the term ADD came up briefly maybe a month ago. I had a fine job for eleven years in which, though I was no star, I survived. Mainly because it involved mostly travel to remote sites to repair computers, a short period repairing the computer or peripheral, and then a long drive home again. I worked at a second company for eight years installing computer systems, which again involved much travel and used very structured 'work orders.'
and then I became interested in the web . . . I taught myself HTML and web site design and began to build sites for friends, relatives, and even for profit. I went to work for a credit union to build their site from scratch. I quit after eleven months because I couldn't seem to get them to make committments. Somehow I couldn't connect with the powers-that-be to get them going on the project. I then went to work for one of those Internet start-ups as a customer support person. They fired me after seven months. I really didn't like that job anyway - I wanted to build beautiful web pages! (and building web pages involves such instant gratification! It actually is very creative and very much "art work.")
Finally, eight weeks ago I landed my Dream-job! Building template web pages from scratch (the cookie cutter web building programs aren't flexible enough) at another Internet start-up. I Loved the work and really enjoyed playing with the art and text. After about a month I realized that I was having problems with the artist who was giving me my work instructions. She didn't seem to give me complete instructions and so was having to correct me continuously as we went along. I loved the work though and carefully added the new instructions to a list that I was keeping. I Reeealy wanted to succeed! Last Friday they fired me - after seven weeks.
I forgot to add though that my wife will testify that I have a very bad short-term memory, I'm disorganized, and I lose things a lot - and am embarrassed to the point that more often than not, I won't tell her that I've lost something - I just sort of wander around trying not to look suspicious - it doesn't work of course. She knows.
So I am now unemployed again, and even though building web pages is what I love to do, especially ones concerning art and science, I have decided that maybe I should get back to a more structured type of job. I have applied to United Parcel Service for a job driving one of their delivery trucks. I hope they allow you to listen to the radio.
Addendum A I recently acquired the following grade school records after the passing of my parents. This is a complete record of the fragmentary record that I found.
November 4, 1948 ( age 5 ) Dickie is making satisfactory progress in his school work. He has completed the pre-primer "We Look and See" and is in "We Work and Play." He is very cooperative and has a very happy disposition. We shall all miss him.
March 28, 1949 ( age 6 ) Dickie is making slow progress. He can read but is far behind the group.
Mom's Response I help Dickie with his reading every eve. Will continue to do so.
November 6, 1950 ( age 7 ) Dickie needs to work at home on his reading and spelling. He does try very hard and applies himself well. He's a sweet, good natured child.
January 21, 1951 ( age 8 ) Dickie still needs a great deal of help. He daydreams and lately has not been using his time to best advantage.
April 11, 1951 ( age 8 ) I am pleased to see some improvement in Dickies work.
June 7, 1951 ( age 8 ) Dickie needs a great deal of work in all subjects this summer. He's not as well prepared as I should like. I'll send home his arithmetic.
Mom's Response Will be glad to help Dickie with his reading and spelling if he will bring it home.
January 25, 1952 ( age 9 ) Dick's work is hard to evaluate in a sentence. When he does his best in a happy mood he is fine, and so is his work.
April 4, 1952 ( age 9 ) Dick at his best is fine. Does well in written language work.
June 13, 1952 ( age 9 ) Dick must learn his multiplication tables thoroughly - his subtraction combinations better. He has ability to do fine work.
Mom's Response (to a missing report from November 10, 1954) Dick was disappointed in his notebook grade - He says he won't try next time but I hope he is encouraged enough to try harder - at home and school to.
April 6, 1955 ( age 12 ) If Dick wants to pass he will have to start to finish his work expecially arithmetic. He should be more attentive in music.
Mom's Response Dickie is trying harder to get his work caught up.
Addendum B My brother makes his living now as an artist. His wife handles the business end which allows him to focus on painting. He has quite a reputation for his art work and also quite a reputation amongst his friends for having a phenomenal temper. I don't need him to intrepret for me any more - thank God.