by Pat
through, as I do. I can't read a book, I read pictures and paragraphs.
I can't sit through a long story. I have to read and re-read
instructions 1000 times. They usually never sink in. I feel so stupid
when my husband comes home and has to finish today's project, because I
left out one stupid little detail. Like putting together a roll away
organizer! I have Tupperware with lids and wheels ALL over the place
now, and they are all empty! They will NEVER look like the pictures in
the sale flyers that come around. They have grains in one and thread in
another! Like my notebooks and calendars! I am afraid to put stuff in
them, cause I will never remember what I put in them. Just like my many
Calendars, I have to have back- ups, because I will most definitely
loose them, but can never find the one I need. I have good days, where
I think "This is it, I've got it! My house is clean, laundry is done,
bills are paid" I am one THOSE people now....would someone PLEASE stop
in unexpectedly. To catch me "TOGETHER" for a change! And within a
few hours...I am back to where I started.......in some mess, tearing
something apart..and the anticipated knock comes at the door! Then I
begin to apologize to whoever is standing there (could be the oil man for
all I care!) "You should have been here this a.m., It was much cleaner
then!!!!" (my house that is!) And I am so sure he is thinking, "thank God
I didn't marry a women like this." Knowing he goes home to a wonderful
clean house, with scholar children, a meal to fit a king. Cause his
wife PAID attention! I hate her!! I wish she would live in my head
for thirty seconds! Then she'd know!
And how about those SCHOOL papers that the kids bring home? My kids
are always getting in trouble for not returning them! Because I can
never seem to find them until the next school year when I am cleaning
out my special folders! At the beginning of every year, I try to
explain to the teachers, about ME, but they look at me funny, like I
am covering for my little add-ers. Fortunately, my husband (#3), Is very
organized, understanding, and compassionate! He realizes that some
days, I truly CAN'T cook dinner, because of fear of forgetting it on the
stove. We have acquired a taste for char broiled in this house! Who
needs Burger King!
And the SOCKS? What is it with the socks in the house of ADD? I
have three garbage bags of odd-balls, but can't throw them out..Cause I
know their mates will show up then..and what would I do? Throw THEM
out? Then I'd feel bad that I wasted potential puppets...that I will
never have time to make....So maybe when my kids have kids, they can use
the odd socks. I guess I'll hold on them- they'll make good insulation
in the cellar, until they are further needed.
You are thinking, why isn't this girl on meds.,and my answer is I
AM! I have recently switched to Adderall. After being on Ritalin for 3
or 4 years....I feel like maybe I need a change. I am struggling with
nutrition and exercise as well...and yes, they work in spurts.....but I
seem to keep getting sucked in to the spasmodic cycle I go through. And
somedays...I don't care if the oil man rings....because I have for the
most part accepted my-self...with humor....and have pointed out to many
other ADD mom's..That it is ALL RIGHT! That we are gifted, and only
attempt to achieve much more than the normal "stay at home moms". So
rather than cooking dinner, we go out and hunt it! And instead of
CLEANING the house, we choose to rebuild! I think life is more
interesting that way! Every time the kids have a friend over, they
comment on"Why is your house always different"? I take that as a
compliment....Our lives are not boring! Instead of following trends! We
set them....and being an artist...I can get away with that! I just hope
my kids learn young...It's OK to be like this...but let it work for
you. I have to remember to praise them for their little
accomplishments...which is hard.. I am always trying to fix them, as I
can not fix myself. I just don't want them searching endlessly for
missing checks, keys, and MEDS! On this note, I will close, but
appreciate this opportunity to vent a little, I could go on and on...but
if there is any one out there attempting to read this...I know short and
sweet is better! So take care fellow ADD-ers...and remember ! You are
not alone!