Stop the Insanity:
A non-in-depth look into the current century’s really big problem that might be solved if people listen to me
(Insert picture of ugly people holding hands or something. It doesn’t matter nobody would want to look at them)
I am currently fighting a one-man war against the old adage that it’s cute for two ugly people to get together. I like happiness. Its nice when people are happy, but we have to always be wary of the looming consequences. Sure we’ll all be happier if they spiked the water, air, the earth itself with mood enhancing drugs, but that would be disastrous for civilization and the nations biggest providers of cyanide pills.
When an ugly person’s DNA and another ugly person’s DNA mingle in that fluid strewn process of love, they create an ugly child. Now, you may think, “What’s one more ugly person?” Before you go down that road, go to any crowded place and look around. Unless you’re in super awesome happy land, there will be ugly people around, lots of ugly people. In fact, ugly people are the majority in this city, state, country, and the damn planet too. If procreation occurs, it will take place in astonishing numbers. Please, I warn you to not make any attempts to visualize this process.
“But hey,” you might say, “attractive people will just reproduce faster, everyone likes reproducing with attractive people” This is a logical fallacy, because it fails to take into account the momentous power of alcohol. Yes, the fermented sugars of such plants as grapes, potatoes, and the occasional carrot are a powerful tool in the evil ugly person conspiracy.
Hah, but I exaggerate. They are not evil. They are stupid. No, being ugly doesn’t make you stupid. The majority of people are stupid and the majority are ugly, so you’re going to see a lot of stupid ugly people, with a few glints of that inner beauty stuff that they make lame movies about. The ugly people, usually stupid, do not realize the plague that they are well plaguing upon humanity. This plaguing plague will only accelerate with time. I won’t be able to explain exponential growth at this moment, because most likely you are stupid and maybe ugly. However, I am sure that I am not committing the cardinal sin of insulting one’s audience, because you disgusting freaks think very highly of yourself, believing that you are above the filthy sea of ugly people and perhaps part of the attractive elite. Fine, live in your delusion. Just stay away from my secret bunker and my women, the attractive ones. And for the sake of all that is splendid, stop with the lovemaking. It only brings horror upon horror on top of a different horror or sometimes in the next room across from horror, which is sharing that room with terror, but terror snores and horror is even more horrible, which is really bad.
FYI: Never do a search for ugly images…’cause you find them….