My Favorite Online Reviews
The anonymous rating system of Amazon.com allows people (ordinary country folk and mindless urbanites) to voice their opinions on some of the most brilliant and wretched works of art humanity has ever produced. These are some of my favorite ones, presented without editing for full effect.
All opinions are valid. Commentary added to prove otherwise.
Fight Club
A revolting film.
Reviewer: kenneth groom from Manchester, England.
Someone said that you either love or hate this film. Well I hated it. and I find it difficult to understand how anyone could do otherwise. It is an ugly, squalid, repulsive film about the dark side of human nature. Everything about it is depressing from the brutish thugs who spend their time bashing the hell out of each other, to the dirty, dank, derelict building in which they carry on their odious activity. And it's unrealistic.
They would all soon end up in Intensive care with broken noses and their handsome faces reduced to pulp. And why should any handsome bloke volunteer to have this done to them? And suffer the pain that goes with it? It's not only not realistic, it doesn't make sense.
Not only do I hate this film but I find it inexplicable that someone of the calibre of Helena Bonham Carter should be willing to appear in it. It can have done her reputation no good (in my opinion). From the beauty of Merchant Ivory to this pretentious rubbish. What a come down. However, I must admit I didn't see the whole film; I was so sickened I couldn't watch any more.
Now, this gentlemen isn�t stupid. His spelling is top notch with crumpets and tea. However, I am sure that he will be happy to hear that the divine Helena Bonham Carter did not appear voluntarily in the movie. The director cleverly crossed out �Fight Club� and replaced it with �Pride and Prejudice II� on her copy of the script. He is quite the dastardly villain.
A Clockwork Orange (Movie)
Violent
Reviewer: A viewer from North Carolina
This movie is full of violence every 5 minutes and should not be viewed by anyone. The director of this film, who is now dead, was definitely on some kind of trip when he made this film. It is a total waste of film and should be destroyed. Don't waste your money or time ...
So I guess you can�t include �Drink every time something violent happens� in the official drinking game, because it happens too often. That�s a shame. But this destroying things that you don�t like thing sounds like a smashing idea. If we could add booze to it, it be the replacement hip new party thing.
Thank god Kubrick is dead.
Reviewer: A viewer from Seattle, WA United States
I really have a hard time understanding all the raves about this movie. Most of the raves are from men. The type of men who would call "Thelma and Louise" a violent film.
I worked in a theatre when I was in college, and they had a showing of A Clockwork Orange. The audience for these showings was 100% male, most of whom looked like the kind of guys who couldn't get a date and were extremely angry about it. A Clockwork Orange relieved some of that anger for them, especially the rape scene, which more than a few of them were chuckling at. These are the same morons you find on internet chat rooms - they're such losers that they can't show themselves in public. This movie, with its rampant miogyny, serves as vindication for guys who can't get laid. So does the Howard Stern show. So does Maxim. And so it goes.
The author of the book by the same name was upset with Kubrick's interpretation of his work - it was supposed to be an anti-rape, anti-violence book, and comes out as a pro-rape, pro-violence movie in the way that it glamourizes both behaviors.
I can't agree more that Kubrick was "visually brillant" - however, in this case, and probably a few others, he is morally bankrupt.
�So it goes� is right. I met one of these rapscallions that the gentelemen is refering to, while walking home. I promptly took out my cane and beat him to an inch of his life. How did I know he was an evil practitioner of �miogyny�? He carried their unholy marker, the vile Maxim magazine. Luckily, I broke his spine before he could call the sacred Thelma and Louise a violent film. Though their arch lord Kubrick is dead, his minions still stalk the earth.
American History X
gives skins a bad name.
Reviewer: Christy from tennessee
OK this is a good movie , it has a good story on rascial prejudice and how our own hatred only ignites violence after violence. But I was perturbed by the use of "skinheads" over and over again , and how they were all presented as shaved headed doc marten wearing nazi's. The characters in the films were neo-nazis , not skinheads. True skinheads are anti rascist working class people who believe in unity and family support. Skinheads were given a bad name by movies such as this who portrayed all of us skins as people who shave our heads and wear swastikas , and the media also ignited more violence from blacks on skins because they thought anyone who shaved their head and claimed to be a skin was a rascist. This film does the same. Constantly saying skinhead over and over. Now the film is great to watch in terms of it's message , but it still gives us skins a bad reputation.
Yeah, it really let the ball drop after the long string of uplifting skinhead movies like The Littlest Skinhead, Skinheads in love, The Skinhead King, and Casablanca: Remade version in which every character is a skinhead.
Of Mice and Men(It's a book)
Reviewer: kris from Canada
The story of mice and men is a very interesting one. Once you start to read the book it isn't understandable because of the slang, but, as you read on it gets harder to put down. You think you know what's about to happen but it turns out the opposite.
The only problem I think was all the foul language. I wouldn't recommend this book to young readers.
The story setting was in the 1930's, around the depression years. The book is about two poor men looking for work,totally opposite characters. One was smart,and small built, while the other was big,strong and mentally handicapped.
The Author writes about how the mentally handicapped were treated in those days (1930's)and also how ignorant people were.
I don't see much difference in our society. We sure can use some improvement.
The writer accomplishes his point he was trying to get across,but, I did not like the slang, I didn't understand some of it. I had to read a few sentences twice before I got a sense of what he was trying to say.
Overall I rate this book a 7 out of 10(10=very good). I give it this rate because it is suspensful,has Irony and the ending isn't what you suspect. What lowers the rating is the jargon and cursing.
I am sure glad that the book has this Irony thing, because I lost my Irony two weeks ago. It dun came lost out of me pocket. How hard is to it connect that since the book is set somewhere other than downtown Canadia in 1997, they would speak differently. Please insane terrible reviewer dude stop plaguing us with your opinions, they are wrong.
dont read this book!,
Reviewer: An Amazon.com Customer
My english teacher read this book outloud to us. It was the worst thing ever. I feel asleep every day he read it because it was so boring! It seemed like it took forever to finish so dont read this book unless you want somthing really, really boring!
Was it totally the worst thing ever? One time my teacher like bored me to the extreme. I hate books! We should start a club!
Magnolia(Watch out this is a long one)
Absolutly NOT a "Hollywood" film.... Breathtaking!
Please be forewarned that it may be necessary to watch this movie twice. I saw this film a few years ago in the theatre and approached it as another Hollywood "entertainment" piece. As a result, I was intellectually comotose while watching it and only noticed the intensity of the acting as a postive. I was left feeling utterly bewildered at the film's climax and a bit cheated when leaving the theatre.
Recently I saw this movie again on the small screen and I was so blown away by the POWERFUL symbolism and awed by the director's lack of the typical Hollywood athiestic cynicism and nihilism that I would rate this as one of my three favorite films of all time. I have read many of the preceeding reviews and I am baffled by peoples' opinions on this film. The symbolism in this movie is CHRISTIAN. Why are most people missing the point? I would guess it is because people just don't buy that Hollywood would take such a risk as to endorse the timeless elements of righteousness, faith, and forgiveness.
Some important tips for watching this masterpiece: Pay close attention to the cop. He appears to be one of "God's fools." He is actually a christ figure- simple but a truly good person who never loses his faith even when he undegoes an embarrassing ordeal. Ultimately he delivers the lines on forgiveness at the story's climax. To miss this element in the story is to miss the point entirely. The catharsis of human confession of sins is another message that should not be missed. Ultimately, everyone comes clean except for the pedophile gameshow host. He can not bring himself to admit, to "say," what evil he has perpetrated and he suffers the consequence at the end of the movie. It is necessary for us as humans to acknowledge our sin and to seek redemption- otherwise the past becomes too burdensome to our souls and exploits our human frailty. The arrogance of humanity in our age is our belief that we are emotional giants- entities independent of love and pain and not needing of forgiveness or spirituality. Watch as this movie unravels that arrogance through the familiar pain of all of the characters. Another risky theme which is explored is that homosexuality could sometimes be only misplaced love. Exploring that theme takes some REAL guts in Hollywood today- truly refreshing in the face of such garbage as "American Beauty." Please watch this film from a human standpoint and while watching, keep in mind some words from Dostoevsky- "Can there be a sin so great as to surpass the will of God to forgive?" The answer my friends, is NO- but we must first seek that forgiveness from Him and FROM EACH OTHER. Watch and learn.
His list of improving other non-Magnolia movies:
1.Jesus should be in more of them.
2. Whenever he�s not around the other characters should ask, �Where�s Jesus?�
Magnolia sucked, a lot. It was like the opposite of some flower where each character was a petal and each of their lives intermingled in a cosmic soup of deep thematic issues. Tolstoy once said, �Was Magnolia a good movie?� The answer my friends, is NO- but we must first seek vengeange on Him who made this movie and FROM THIS REVIEWER for liking it. Don�t Watch it, but uh learn things I guess.