Impromptu Psychic Powers! X0!
Every once and a while, you just need to use some sort of telepathic ability. You just scream in your mind, MUST DEVELOP PSYCHIC POWERS! It would just be more convenient.
Examples:
1. You�re in line in a grocery store and waited in line a long time and finally reached the teller. Suddenly, you realize you forgot the pineapple you came in the grocery for in the first place. You look across the store and see it about 10 aisles down, glistening beautifully in its bin. But you can�t get it now, because there are a lot of people behind you, who are going to make you wait in the fucking line again if you leave your spot. Wouldn�t telekinesis be kickass about now? Just levitate the pineapple over and continue your day.
2. You�re starving and a friend gives you the last piece of a candy bar to share with another person. Now you both want it. The only fair way is rock, papers, scissors. If you had telepathy, you could just read his mind and figure out the best move. That candy bar could be yours and yours alone.
3. Last day of Hanukah, you set up the candles and light the last match you have left in the house. It blows out. You�re stuck with 9 candles staring at you, mocking you with their unlitness. Pyrokinesis would be perfect. Just light the candles with your mind and if you have time bring a plague of flames upon your enemies.
4. You�re stuck in an elevator with that one annoying guy for hours. The one with the lisp and that accent and the vexing way he never shuts about his back pain. Yes, that guy. However, if you strangle him, you�ll be the one who is the criminal. As he continues ad nauseum about his stupid collection of rare pins, you could just implode his mind with a psychic blast, no fingerprints, no jail sentence. Yeah, that would be perfection.
5. You�re stuck with nothing to do and the boredom sinks in. If you just gained physic powers, you could mind control an army of clowns to battle to the death for your amusement. You could mind control geneticist to develop more entertaining species of sheep. I�m even sure if you were powerful enough you could mind control your way into a movie and only have to pay the matinee price even though its past 4:00 P.M. There are just so many possibilities.
6. Now the best impromptu power to have at just the right moment is the psychic slap across time and space. Doing calculus and get stuck on the problem, smack around Newton. Forced to read a crappy book, punch the author in the gut. Finding out a show sucks, kick a couple of the main characters in the groin with your mind; it won�t improve the show, but at least it would be entertaining.
Of course you can�t do any of this if you don�t have the most important perquisite to telepathic powers�.the creepy British voice. You know like that voice that kid uses when he tells everyone they have to be happy all the time. I�m sure it�s mandatory. So you better start bloody practicing.