He sprang from the cheap tattered second-hand couch where he sat and began pacing up and down the room. He walked back and forth between the sofa and the makeshift table he had turned into a desk. The desk was used for writing letters to her. Letters, which he never mailed.

In fact, the only items of furniture in the dingy bachelor apartment were the sofa, which at night he used as a bed and the table where he sometimes ate. There was no stove or fridge for food didn�t concern him in the least. He ate when he felt like it, buying everything from the local corner store. He liked living this way. It didn�t bother him the bare walls were peeling or that there were cracks in the floor. He hardly spent any time there anyway.

Pausing for a few moments, he looked up at the only form of decoration, which graced the greyish peeling walls of the apartment. It was an oversized bulletin board filled with pictures. Pictures of her he had taken himself. These were his prized possessions.

Each picture was like a portrait. It almost looked to him as if she was posing. Unbeknownst to her, he had taken all the pictures himself. There were shots of her strolling down the street, jogging in the park, leaving the beach house, and getting into her car. Everywhere she went he followed � like a shadow.

His favourite picture of her was a recent one he had taken of her on the beach reading a book. She looked so innocent and peaceful. So much like the girl he knew and loved.

Raking his fingers feverishly though his thick jet-black hair, his green eyes sparkled with anticipation as he gazed at her face. Her face seemed to leap out at him as he stared. Covering his ears in a sudden motion, he still remembered the all too painful words that she had said to him almost a year ago. �I�m not ready. Not yet,� she had told him. She couldn�t have meant that. She loved me. We were in love, his mind screamed back at him.

It was because of the immense love he possessed for her that he had taken matters into his own hands. She hadn�t understood though, she had just made matters worse. She had complicated everything. Possibly forever.

Eyeing her picture, he gently reached up and traced the outline of her smiling face. He looked deep into her eyes. The eyes, that had once looked back at him so lovingly. �Soon Jessica. We will be together again soon,� Justin whispered as he closed his eyes tightly.

Lila drove as fast as the rain would permit her. As she drove she kept her eyes peeled for Jessica. She was worried sick about her. Where could she be? �What did Nick say to you?� she wondered out loud. Just the idea of someone ever hurting Jessica again made Lila sick to her stomach. Jessica had experienced enough hurt in her lifetime for one person.

With a sigh, Lila focused her attention back on the road. Jessica is fine. She must be home by now. Willing herself to try to stop worrying about Jessica, she flipped on the radio. Instead of listening to the soft melody that filtered through the speakers though, she found herself thinking about her own problems. Recently, she had been so caught up with her friend�s issues that she barely had time to sort out her own problems.

Sometimes, Lila felt as though there was no one she could talk to. Elizabeth and Jessica were both going through rough times in their lives and it would be unfair for Lila to burden them with her own problems. Nick and AJ were also dealing with their own issues, so they were both out of the question. There was always Brian though. Brian would be there if she needed him. Normally, she would confess everything and anything to him but this time it was different. She couldn�t tell him about this because he was too close to the subject. She couldn�t tell him all the fears, worries or insecurities that constantly ran throughout her mind. This was something she would have to deal with on her own.

As the familiar beach house came into view, Lila guiltily erased all thoughts of her own problems from her head. She felt horrible about thinking about her own problems when Jessica needed her so badly.

As she coasted the car into the cobblestone driveway and turned off the ignition, the sinking feeling in her stomach resurfaced. What if something happened to her?

Climbing out of the car quickly, Lila bounded up the stairs. She fumbled around in her coat pocket searching for the key. Finding it, she shoved it into the keyhole and entered the beach house loudly.

�Jess!� she yelled. No answer. �Jessica! Where are you?� Lila yelled again as she kicked off her shoes and began running throughout the house. Her heart pounded in her chest as the realization that Jessica had not made it home sunk in.

She ran to the kitchen, her eyes wildly canvassing the room. No sign of Jessica either. She took off down the hall towards the den. �Jess! Where�� her voice trailed as she came to a halt in front of the den. There, Jessica sat on the sofa, tears streaming down her face.

�Jess,� Lila whispered softly. The sight of Jessica sitting there brought tears to her eyes. It was all too familiar to Lila. �Jess. It�s me,� Lila whispered as she sat down next to her friend.

Bewildered, Jessica turned to face Lila with puffy eyes. �What have I done Li?� she inquired as Lila pulled her into a hug.

As Jessica sat there with Lila crying, the reality of her actions seeped in. She had pushed away the only guy she ever truly cared about. The only guy who had ever understood and cared about her as well. When she was with Nick nothing else mattered to her. Nick was her soul mate. She was sure of it. He was the one person she was destined to be with and she had gone and pushed him away because she had been scared.

After almost a full hour of crying, Elizabeth felt drained. She wanted to curse, to scream, pound her fists, but she remained silent. She was too exhausted to do anything. As quietly as possible, Elizabeth emerged from AJ�s room. The last thing she wanted was to run into AJ now. She�d feel like a fool in front of him after what had just happened.

She tiptoed slowly and carefully down the hall. The house was unusually silent and somber. Usually voices could be heard from every angle.

She walked unsteadily, her mind still reeling from the events that had just taken place. The memory of AJ�s face flashed through her mind. The look upon his face had said it all. He didn�t want her back. He never wanted to be with her again.

She kept her eyes glued to the ground for fear that if AJ saw her, the hurt and embarrassment would be visible upon her face. As she carefully crept down the stairs she heard the faint sound of footsteps. She quickened her pace slightly hoping that she could escape to the front door before AJ saw her. �Liz. Wait!� Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief as she realized that it was Brian and not AJ.

She turned slightly acknowledging Brian�s presence. She turned back around quickly before Brian could see her face. She didn�t need to experience the pain of recounting what had just happened. It already hurt too much.

Brian placed an arm on Elizabeth�s shoulder causing her to flinch slightly. �Liz. Talk to me. What happened?� he asked gently turning Elizabeth to face him. He gasped slightly at the sight of her face. She was a mess. Her eyes were puffy and red, her face swollen from crying. Her tears had caused her mascara to run, creating black streaks along her face. Her rumpled clothes and messy hair added to her image. Brian�s heart went out to her immediately.

Elizabeth could feel her resolve to be strong melting away. �Oh Brian. I�m such a fool. I thought that things would be different. That maybe he would�� she said as she broke down sobbing. She couldn�t hold it in any longer.

Brian took his friend into his arms stroking her hair as she cried. Now wasn�t the time to tell her about Jessica and Nick. Brian stood holding Elizabeth as she sobbed, releasing all the feelings of humiliation, anger, hurt, and loss that she had been feeling.

Nick sat on the lumpy bed, his outstretched arms clasped behind his head. He knew that they were probably worried about him. He just couldn�t bring himself to pick up the phone and call them. What would he say? How would he ever be able to rationalize his actions? How would he explain to them that he had hurt the only girl he ever cared about? The only girl that he ever truly wanted to be with.

Even if Nick had chalked up enough courage to give them a call, it wouldn�t have made a difference. The storm had crossed the wires rendering the phone service from the motel inaccessible. Secretly, Nick was glad the phones weren�t working and that his cell phone had conveniently been left on his rumpled bed. He couldn�t deal with talking to anyone just now. Not when he was feeling this miserable.

Nick lay on his bed tracing the cracks that ran throughout the walls with his eyes. He wished desperately that he could forget about Jessica. Forget about how much he had hurt her. He couldn�t do that though. She was so easy to talk to, to listen to, and to be with.

As he lay on the bed, he found himself thinking about Mandy. He and Mandy had dated for almost a year. Nick had known from the get-go that she wasn�t the one for him. She wasn�t the girl that could make him feel that nothing else mattered unless she was by his side. Only Jessica could do that for him. Still, he had stayed with Mandy. He had wasted almost a year of his life with her. Why, he had no clue. Even time spent thinking about her was a waste in his opinion. Over the course of the year that he and Mandy had shared together, they had experienced good times and bad, but nothing could even come close to the precious few moments he had recently spent with Jessica.

With a heavy sigh, Nick unclasped his hands and rolled onto his side. He pulled up the cheap flimsy brown blanket that the motel had provided for him as far as he could. Closing his eyes, he realized just how tired he really was. Maybe all of this will blow over in the morning, he hoped.

Even as he drifted off to sleep, Nick knew that he was wrong. He knew that in the morning when he awoke, the guilty feeling that lingered in his stomach would still be there to greet him.

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