Jessica lay listlessly in her bed, unable to move. The climb up the stairs had been excruciatingly painful and tiresome for her stiff, aching legs. She had successfully made it up the stairs however, practically collapsing upon her bed. She lay there now, her head throbbing and stomach queasy. Despite her discomfort she lay as still as possible, afraid to move, for fear that if she did she would surely vomit.
She gazed off blankly, desperately trying to ignore the incessant thudding in her head. She was so relieved her mother was no where in sight. The last thing she needed was to deal with her mother on top of everything else. Right now, she was too pre-occupied to think of anything but him.
Leaving him had been the most difficult thing she had ever done. Nick was everything she had always searched for and more. He was the light that guided her down the dark, endless tunnel of life. His touch alone had invoked sensations in her she had never thought possible. He was everything to her and still she had left him. She had to.
Carefully, she reached up and gently wiped away the stray tears from the cheek that Nick had touched so many times before. Her hand lingered there momentarily as it took in the feel of her unusually cool skin. Her skin seemed to call out to her as if it were aching to feel his tender touch again, even if it were only for a moment.
For a second, an immense feeling of regret washed over her. In that one second, she felt as though if given the chance she would take back her decision without a moment�s hesitation. She knew she couldn�t though. This was the only way things could be.
She had left Nick, aware that one day he would discover her true nature and that would be the day he left her. He would walk out of her life and never look back. She had handled it once before, but was certain she couldn�t do it again. If possible, Nick meant even more to her than her father had. He was her sanity, the one thing that always kept her going.
In a way, she had left to protect Nick. She didn�t want to imagine the painful blow it would be to his heart when he realized what she was really like. She didn�t want to be around to see the look of disgust on his face when he found out that she was a bad person. She wouldn�t be able to take it. From her mother maybe, but not from Nick. He was different. She cared about him too much.
Closing her eyes, she willed sleep to take over her body. She knew it was hopeless though as visions of Nick danced perilously throughout her memory. It was as if Nick�s face was etched permanently into her mind. She knew then that say what she may, she couldn�t easily forget him.
The worst part of it all was that now he was gone and all she was left with was her few precious memories and the heart-aching loneliness. And for that, she had no one to blame but herself.
For an innumerable amount of hours now, Nick had lain almost comatose upon his bed. Only his hands shook as if they had been burnt by her letter.
As he lay there, her harsh words raced uncontrollably throughout his mind. �I think it would be best if we didn�t see one another any longer.� She couldn�t mean that. She couldn�t be leaving him.
Confusion written clearly upon his face, he somehow managed to slowly sit up despite the haze that occupied his mind. His legs were heavy and cumbersome and with visible effort, he somehow managed to get off the bed. Staggering slowly towards the fallen letter, he picked it up, his hands shaking vehemently as he did so.
Pain stakingly, he re-read her words. Each line was like a knife to his heart. Her voice seemed to echo from every inch of the room. As he read, her haunting words wreaked havoc upon his ears. By the end of her letter, Nick felt positively sick.
How did this happen? Nick questioned silently as he anxiously ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He couldn�t understand it and wasn�t sure if he even wanted to. All he was certain of was the dull ache in his heart that was slowly taking over his body.
He didn�t want to believe that her words had any true merit to them. It was difficult however because the finality of her letter was so strikingly obvious. She hadn�t needed to come straight out and say �goodbye Nick�, it had been implicit in her words.
The room started to spin mercilessly around him as his mind raced with a series of complicated, never-ending questions. Questions he had absolutely no answers to. Questions that he knew would continue to plague him unless he did something about it.
Nick knew that he couldn�t just let her leave like this. He loved her. The bond between the two of them was special, she had said so herself. He needed her as did she.
A sudden overpowering urge engulfed Nick�s entire body. He had to see her. She was wrong about all this, that much he was certain of. They needed each other so badly. She brought out facets in him that he never knew even existed.
As fast as his uncooperative legs would allow, he raced madly around his room in search of a decent pair of clothes. He quickly donned the first pair of jeans and shirt that he found and within seconds, he was at the door.
He moved in a daze, guided as if by his heart in her direction. He was so eager to get to her that he barely even bothered to consider the repercussions of his showing up on her doorstep. He was so anxious to hold her in his arms again that he didn�t care what he had to do to get to her. Nothing was going to stop him � not even her mother.
Nick drove maniacally, just barely avoiding skirmishes with other cars. He wove his car dangerously in and out of the side streets, picking up speed. As he turned onto her street, he slowed his car searching for her house. Having never been there before, the area was slightly unfamiliar to him. Her address however, was imprinted in his memory after numerous hours of previous contemplation of going to see her.
After nervously searching for a few minutes, he finally found her house. Gazing upwards at it, he couldn�t help but notice it was a paradox of sorts. Seemingly bright and sunny on the outside, but inside home to both cruelty and evil. His heart pulsating he exited the car and slammed the door loudly.
Quickly, he made his way past the lush expanse lawn and up the cobblestone path, pausing as he passed Jessica�s silver Mazda Miata. She was home.
Climbing the steps quickly, he rang the doorbell with a shaking hand. Nick listened rather impatiently as the melodic chime rang throughout the house. Anxiously, he nervously tapped his foot as he awaited the familiar sound of her footsteps. After almost two minutes of waiting though, he still heard none.
Where could she be? he wondered glancing back at her car. It shone brilliantly in the sun, taunting him almost as he looked at it. Sunbeams danced across its hood almost as if they were laughing at him. She was so close now. He had to see her.
With determination, he rang the doorbell again. His heart began to beat precariously as the chimes rang once more. He waited impatiently, gazing blankly at the ornate glass door. Suddenly, Nick�s mind was hit with a bout of worry. What if she�s hurt her? he wondered.
Adrenaline coursing through his veins, he rapped loudly on the door. �Jess?� he cried. �Are you there?� Silence ensued. Knocking again, Nick�s voice got louder. �Jessica!� he yelled.
Desperately, he pressed his nose against the glass, his eyes darting furtively about as he tried to see inside. He peered about, vaguely able to make out the grand staircase and a small antique table near the entrance.
Suddenly his whole body froze except his heart, which began beating at an incredulous pace. Upon the stairs, Nick could just barely make out a shadowy figure. Despite the fact that it was a mere outline, he knew it was her.
�Jess? Baby, open the door. We need to talk,� he called to her loudly, desperately trying to remain composed. Nick watched sadly as the figure stood stock still. His heart plummeted as Jessica remained standing, not making even the slightest movement in his direction. �Jess! Please open the door,� he pleaded with her, his voice calm, but nevertheless hinted with desperation.
His stomach churned as he anxiously awaited any movement at all from her. His head swam with confusion and as he stood, Nick could feel the onslaught of a terrible headache. �Don�t do this Jess. You know this is wrong,� he begged her, tears in his eyes. Even as he said the words though, he knew it wouldn�t make a difference. Nick felt as though a crushing blow had been delivered to his stomach as the figure turned and painfully slowly began walking up the stairs. �Jess! No!� he yelled. � I love you. You can�t do this!� he screamed desperately, his voice cracking as he pronounced the words. Despite his heartfelt confession, the figure continued on, seemingly oblivious to his presence. She moved up the stairs and slowly out of sight.
Dejectedly, Nick slumped against the glass, his body trembling as the angry tears of frustration and heartache made their way down his flushed face. His head throbbed as he rested it against the cool glass. His breathing was ragged and he desperately gasped for air. This can�t be happening. This is wrong, he repeated over and over to himself. She can�t be doing this to me � to us.
From the top of the stairs, Jessica watched, tears streaming down her face. �I love you too Nick,� she whispered quietly, her heart shattering into a million pieces as she watched his hunched figure slink slowly away from the door. As he quickly disappeared from view, Jessica�s knees went weak. Unable to control herself any longer, she sank to the ground, her heart-wrenching sobs resonating from every room of the spacious house.
Two hours after Nick�s departure, Jessica still remained atop the stairs, clutching desperately to the banister. Having drained herself out completely, she had long since stopped crying. Unable to muster up enough strength to go back to her room, she hadn�t moved an inch since he�d left. Now, she sat awkwardly atop the stairs, gazing blankly at the glass door as if she were subconsciously hoping Nick would come back.
Jessica�s legs were cramped and uncomfortable, but despite her discomfort, she couldn�t bring herself to move. She didn�t seem to care about what would happen to her if her mother were to arrive home then. In some strange way, Jessica felt that she deserved to be punished for what she had done. She heard the pain in Nick�s voice as he called out to her. It had been utterly heart-wrenching.
As she sat there dazedly, an inexplicable painful feeling washed over her. It wasn�t like anything she�d ever felt in her life. She wasn�t sure if it was remorse for what she had done to Nick or regret. Maybe it was a little of both.
Gathering every ounce of strength she had left, she shakily stood up. As she turned in the direction of her room however, her feet suddenly became uncooperative. Jessica suddenly felt her knees buckle beneath her and once again she helplessly sank to the ground. A strangled moan escaped her throat as she did so. How could something that she knew was best for both of them feel so wrong?
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