I'm a mistress of the art
of minor self-negation.
A fractured pyromaniac,
suffering from all I lack.

I'm completely naked -
studded, stupified
sucking on a stale cigarette.

You made me choose
to harden my heart
and end what was
not much to begin with.

There's no rhyme nor reason
to my destructive season.
I'm a milky-white crystal.
I'm a silken-skinned slut.

I'm pretty unpopular
with the plastic people set:
I'm just amused.
They look bemused.

Am I for real,
or just a social dynamism?
I'll not offer up excuses,
I'm just running off toxic fumes.

My world is spinning,
I'm standing on my head.
I get lost on my way out the door.
I can't stand picking myself up anymore.

I'm shattered and the pieces
are blowing in the wind -
I started to unravel,
wasn't too well put together.

Strap me down to the Catherine Wheel,
I feel my bones are made from steel.
They never break,
no, it's not too late.
I'll just add one more sinker to the line,
and hope that I realise something 
I'm sure I once knew.

There's no rhyme nor reason
to my destructive season.
I'm a milky-white crystal.
I'm a silken-skinned slut.

If I had to do it over again,
I might take it like a man.
I may rethink taking that extra drink,
or take a step back when on the brink.

I'm not ashamed,
I'm just re-framing each delicious plunge
into my longings and the lines I drew
all over you.

I am my own convert.
I practice strict adherence to fantasy.
I imagine I'm smaller inside myself.
So simple, to judge without mercy
and endure the beauty of nudging myself,
one inch by inch,
towards my very own dystopia:

A world of natural chaos, 
moving into grace
and though I call out
I am, as always, 
covered and neglectful,
too timid to admit
that I need
to feel you near me
to be any more than this.

There's no rhyme nor reason
to my destructive season
because I can't undo this knot,
and I can't see self
as more than a zero-sum rule:
I'm a subversive fool,
a robber of thought,
victorious but voiceless
so I'll just rethink my path.

No, there's no rhyme nor reason
to my destructive season
I'm a milky-white crystal,
I'm a silken-skinned slut,
with my eyes tight shut.