Breath in Winter

Dancing somewhere in the twilight,
near the mouth of dawn
I felt a shadow linger,
mourn
as fire drifting out

I lost the stars I longed for
I sealed my lips shut

Carefully I slipped a fold
across my burning eyes
burying my longings
I looked across the sky.

Tampered with,
my soul felt
I sought a new disguise
Take what you will
but leave me something 
borrowed,
broken and blue.

I'd rather be surprised
by all my yesterdays
than a single note of your tomorrows.

You aren't up to the promise,
why should I,
do as you are
not as you say
you might,
one day
in this long line of them.

I am not a notch in your table,
a key on your bench,
a word in your vocabulary left
without proper definition.
I won't excuse my mess,
my ordinary contemplations
left on a napkin.

I am without edition,
your addition fails to make us 
more than two, 
too ill for each other
to be any more.

One has to count,
so the other gets the lines right.
They will be verse,
and you, Mr. Well-rehearsed,
mime breakfast for me once a month
and i will know that you are true 
in thought and deed,
indeed
in need.