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| "For those of you who don't habla espanol, El Nino is Spanish for..... The Nino."--Chris Farley, "Saturday Night Live " "I'm crazy backwards guy! I'm not facing you! I'm facing the other way! Isn't that CRAZY??!! Now....gimme some candy!!" --Adam Sandler, �Saturday Night Live� �Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.� --Jerry, �Seinfeld� "I am tired of being everyone�s butt monkey" --Xander, �Buffy the Vampire Slayer� "I laugh in the face of danger, then I run and hide until it goes away." --Xander, �Buffy the Vampire Slayer� "And what's with this woman going around telling people that Godzilla's not evil, just confused?"--Frasier, �Cheers� �Me and Richard got to be friends... not in a homosexual way.� --Rudy, �Survivor� "There are three kinds of people no one understands: geniuses, madmen and the guy that mumbles."--Xander, �Buffy the Vampire Slayer� �The question�s been: Do you shoot to kill or do you shoot to maim? And to me that�s really missing the point which is: Who cares? You get to shoot somebody.�--�Reno 911!� �You know, this is a shotgun so I don�t even really have to aim.� --�Reno 911!� �Her lips said, �No�, but her eyes said �Read my lips��--Niles, �Frasier� "I think I'd like to die the way my father went. Peacefully, just closing my eyes and drifting off like I was just going to sleep. Not kicking and screaming like the other guys in the car." --Briscoe, "Law & Order" "It's the 80s! Do a lotta coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!" --Mike, �Mystery Science Theatre 3000� �Heeeeelp, I'm falling at a 60-degree angle defying the laws of physics!� --Tom Servo, �Mystery Science Theatre 3000� "Sorry, dad, I thought you were a busty, blonde, Swedish stewardess." --Harry, �Night Court� �Remember, kids, guns aren�t for fun. Guns are for killing things like songbirds, and deer, and intruders, and Spice Girls, and busybodies who just won�t leave your cult alone, and women who don�t understand you�re the best man for them. That may sound crazy, but when you�re holding a gun, you decide who�s crazy.�--Bill Maher, �Politically Incorrect� �The Fourth of July means freedom, liberty and fifty percent off sales at all major department stores.�--Lisa, �Saved By the Bell� �Most magazines and newspapers are written at a fifth grade reading level. This ensures comprehension by a wide audience. We�d say our stuff comes in somewhere between Tom Clancy and bathroom graffiti.�--Adult Swim |