Shit. I should have called a limo but it takes them forever to get to where you want them to be, then forever to go where you want to go. Taxi's are more efficient, even if my luggage now has a new special bubble gum, cigarette ash lining. Good thing my clothes and such were sealed inside properly.

Joe goes inside the house and takes his bags to his and Mandy's bedroom. Mandy is sleeping peacefully and Joe smiles before kissing her. Her eyes open faintly and she gives a sweet smile at Joe being home.

Hey babe, did you just get home?

Oh yeah. Gonna need to buy some more luggage because the taxi floor has ruined my current group of bags. But that's enough complaining. How have you been while I was gone I missed you while I was gone.

I haven't done much. It's been at least 2 and a half weeks since you were gone, you left for Manchester. Good thing you got a cell phone.

Heh, never leave home without it. Hey, I'm gonna put my clothes and things away and then I'll probably be up the rest of the night. I slept a lot on the flight back.

Yeah, I'm extremely tired. I was down at the pool today, and swam up to 200 laps. Gotta have some exercise to keep my figure, hehe.

Heh. Well, you just get some rest. I probably wont' stay up all night but I wanna make some calls and look through all the mail I recieved. I'll probably crawl in next to you when I'm done.

Works for me, you do what you have to. I'll be expecting you in here

They exchange smiles and kiss again and Joe puts his remaining clothes away and goes back downstairs as Mandy falls back asleep. He checks through his mail now.

Bill, Bill, Bill, fan letter, fan letter, fan letter, fan letter, hey, three tapes marked JJ promos. Hmm. Looks like he's been talking about me while I was away.

Joe sets the bills and fan letters aside and pops the first tape into his VCR. He then watches the 2nd and 3rd tapes right after. He chuckles to himself and then walks back to his other mail. He makes a small stack and places them in his office so he can get to them later. He decides that it's too late to make any phone calls, so instead he's gonna film a promo. He grabs the camera out of his office and sets it up. He then grabs some coffee, placing liquor in it like he normally does, pops some painkillers in his mouth and turns on the camera.

Wow. That's all I can really say. Seems I have taken quite the beating at DOA. Oh no, not from you JJ, all you did was double team myself and Norton along with that freakshow Doomsday. You see, I saw your turn coming a mile away. You would shove me up against all those walls in the back and I just let it slide. You are a guy with some real anger management issues JJ and I figured I'm not going to piss you off. The Elite doesn't need people that hot headed guys who could ruin the stable. Well Norton and I were booted from our very own stable, the one I created, because of hotheaded guys who though they could do well on their own. I think I'm going to just talk about lots of people right now. I'll get to Elite when I get to them. Now, to further piss JJ off, since he thinks everything is about him, I'm going to move on to the other guys that made comments towards me. In order of course.

First I start with Creeper. Creeper, that was a great match between us two. You put forth a lot of effort, and everything I said about not even being able to touch me? Forget it. You put forth a great match with me, and you now have earned my respect Creeper. We both beat the shit out of each other, and either one of us could have walked away the winner. I mean had I not put that garbage can in the way hurting your ribs and chest when you landed that frog splash, it might have been a different story and you might have put me away. David Love said it best, my expierence is the only thing that got me the win. I know when top rope moves are coming and I know how to avoid even a little bit of impact. I was too tired and hurtin to roll out of the way so I pulled the can in front of me. It hurt you too and while you tried to get the air in your lungs before you pinned me, it gave me time to rest, and kick out. Then it was just two moves to put you away. But all in all Creeps, that was a good match. As far as your challenge goes, I'm sure we will meet in the future, but I think we should wait until the rematch. Don't worry, because I'm sure you'll be having to defend the HC title next week anyway.

Now I go to the man that kicked JJ's ass, and I do mean Armageddon. I mean let's face it AOD did too but Arm's the one that made some comments towards me that I'd like to touch upon. Arm you really like to keep them guessing as far as your promos are concerned, huh? Yeah the hotline made everyone think that I am going to DF or something like that. Hey, so did PPV. Arm, I want to be the first to thank you for coming out and helping me. I know me and you have had a bad past against one another, but the way I see it after DOA, you are willing to put that past behind us. And do you know what? So am I. Arm, if you're up to it, I'd like to manage Dark Forces, which are currently the top stable here in ICW. I don't know Norton's position right now, but I'm sure he feels the same way I do, if not more pissed off at JJ, haha. Arm you like to talk about how I am always willing to do the unexpected, well, I would say this is pretty unexpected. Come on Arm, shock some people and let DF have The Smooth Criminal backing them. Whether it's official by you accepting my proposal or unofficial by you not accepting and I back you guys anyway, I'm going to side with DF from now on, as well, payback for the help, and out of respect for the whole group.

Now I have made my way to The Elite. I'll start with Doomsday first. Ah JJ it's just pissing you off knowing I'm not devoting this promo to you isn't it? Anyway, Doomsday, I brought you into The Elite as our hardcore member. We had the high flyer in JJ, the legend in myself, the monster in Norton and then we needed a hardcore guy. You fit the bill. I mean anyone that turns on their own brother is ruthless and The Elite needed that. You were in. After joining The Elite, you won the US title, because of an oppurtunity that I gave you. I originally had Huntress booked to meet Rain at that WWW, because I didn't want to waste a PPV match on those two. But I said, well, Doomsday needs an oppurtunity. Doomsday needs a chance here in ICW. So I booked you in a US title match, and you won.

But let's face facts here Doomie, in the span of 2 or 3 minutes you managed to manhandle a woman, flatten a jobber, and beat the hell out of a guy who hasn't seen ring action for about 3 months. Wow. I mean, really. Then at DOA, you beat Dawg in his match back, and like I said, he still had ring rust. You've really impressed, me, do you want that World title shot now or should I wait until you forfeit the US when someone that actually poses a challenge is booked to fight you? Let's face it Doomie, the only person that you managed to beat up that has any credibility shook off your attacks and is the new WC. In a lot of ways, I see Kanich in you, but those ways would be the way you look, talk and act. Kanich's a bonafide MONSTER. You, Doomsday, are a bonafide LOSER.

Now I go to JJ Crawford. Relax JJ, and don't have a heart attack. I finally have decided to direct my comments towards you. But the reason I waited, and get ready to be shocked JJ, because what I have to say now will rock your foundation. The world, does not revolve around you! *GASP*. Seriously. I don't say anything to you because I see no reason to. You turned your back on me now you are out to get me. WOW. I'm supposed to care? JJ, answer me a question. What makes you think your so special? Huh? Is it because you think you're some sort of legend? Wow. You managed to beat some of the lesser guys here in ICW, Creeper, some newbie who was fired right after you beat him, but when it comes to hanging with the big boys, like when you fought Arm at DOA...let's face facts Crawford, you just can't cut it. Hey JJ, when you win a few titles or so here in ICW, and headline some PPV's give me a call and then I'll give you the match of your life before I beat you. But anyway, I saw your comments towards me and as Fate likes to say..."ALLOW ME TO RETORT!"

You mentioned how I cost you a win. Hey, maybe you didn't learn to count, but I costed you TWO Wins! And I'm damn proud of myself too. Here you go, the most anticipated match in ICW history, Arm vs JJ, JJ chokes and loses. Oh let's face it JJ, Arm had you beat before I even came out there. He roughed you up backstage, in the crowd, and in the ring. I decided to chair shot Arm to save you and well, he moved and you were too stupid to move as well, so you got the shot across the head. Arm pinned you for the three count. Let's not forget that after the match, I kept telling you it was an accident, and well, you didn't seem to accept that. It was an accident on your part, because you got in the way of a chair shot intended for someone else. Yet I ended up apologizing to you! Amazing. You make me look like I can't even hit a guy with a steel chair and I'm apologizing for making you look bad. Let's face it JJ, you don't need my help to look bad it comes completley natural.

You ask me how I feel? Well, minus the pain in my back and ribs from my match with Creeper, I feel great. I'd say I'm at 90%. let's face it when someone locks in a submission hold on top of a steel cage and you have nothing to grab to get yourself out of it, you end up in a lot of pain. Especially when that person tries to keep the hold on for the entire freaking match. You told me don't fuck you over, I fucked you over twice. And JJ, I'll admit, I did pay a price for it. I mean, let's face facts, your match with Arm costed me some money after you dismantled the backstage area! HAH! You thought I was going to give you props and say you kicked my ass? You give me your little dinky-ass move, then I get Unabombed by Doomsday on an injured back anyway. And as far as leaving me bloody goes well you did manage to give me a minor nosebleed when my face hit the mat but don't worry yourself it stopped soon after it started.

You say that's not about me, that I'm not the star. Hmm. You're the star and it's all about you? Is that right? Well, pardon my language, but YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! Maybe you were a star over in that poor man's e-fed WWFX, but that was there. ICW is a whole new playing ground, and you haven't earned any merits while being here. Are you supposed to impress me? You come out, "I'm a living legacy, I'm the real star, Joe tried to keep me in his shadow" Boy I don't have a shadow I'm too high up to cast a shadow, I'm the Cool One, The Smooth Criminal, my legacy preceeds me, I've won countless titles and Hall of Fame spots in countless feds. JJ, you think you're the star? If you had any kind of star power coming over here, you have officially burned yourself out. You say I've not shown you anything new by beating Creeper. Well, while we are picking out pet names for each other, you can call me bitchboy, but I have a name for you that fans love to hear me call people.

That's right, assmonkey, you think a Hell in a Cell match beating Creeper doesn't amaze you then have a lot to learn. When you were busy beating jobbers in WWFX, when you were busy faking an injury so you could get out of matches with those same jobbers, yeah you know what I'm talking about, When you were fighting with Norton over the WWFX WC, which Norton won that match, I was over here in ICW, giving Arm a better run for his money than you ever could. They'll say your match was good, well my match with him, loss or not, we have both admitting to being the best match in our respective CAREERS. Do you know how far Armageddon's career spans JJ? For that matter mine? I am getting to be a veteran, and Arm certainly is one. He didn't earn Lifetime Achievement by being in ICW for the short time it's been open. Check back in the BTW archives, under the name TAKER. There is a legacy there that I know I won't ever be able to compete with. Over 50 titles. And to have someone like Arm tell me that I gave him the best match in his career is certainly something that you could never achieve. Only someone with the talent of Joe Cool could do something like that. So maybe you should go back and review the tapes before you start saying I'm not up to par with your jobberific standards. I set the fucking par.

JJ, I talk a big game, but I can back up every mother fucking word that I say. When I say that I am going to go out there and kick your ass, I sure as hell will. You see JJ, wins and losses mean jack shit to me. I don't need to win a fucking wrestling match to kick someone's ass. When I go out to fight someone, I give 100, no 110, no I fucking give 200% in every match. Win, lose or draw I will give you the match of your life and you will get your ass kicked. So you see, no matter who I'm with, no matter what's on the line, I could care less about a win or a loss, I don't need to win to prove myself. The thought going through your mind now, "Well that's something a loser would say" Maybe so, but normally, losers say that and they fail to kick anyone's ass they just talk a lot of trash, but then when the big moment comes, they fail miserably. Dispite what you say about me JJ, YOU fit that bill quite nicely.

I have another quick question for you. What is your obsession with me having sex with Nicole Bass? What the hell is wrong with you? I mean do you lie in your bed at night and smack little JJ around thinking about it? By the way, when I say little, that's just what I mean. Turns out the girl you dumped was on the same plane flight I was. Man when she's pissed off she will spill many secrets. She managed to tell me things that would freak a guy out and piss his pants. She told me things that made me use the barf bag on a number of occasions. And would you believe it was all in one story about how her dog died? I'll let you do the math on that one. But back to your sick obsession. You call me a sick fuck yet every time you seem to bring up that I like Nicole Bass. That statement has about as much truth in it as if I made a statement right now saying former ICW and BTW wrestler The Dude was going to come back to ICW and he would dominate the ranks and become the greatest ICW wrestler who ever lived. Again, review old ICW and BTW tapes and you'll find that like your Bass statement, what I just said is BULLSHIT. I have a beautiful wife, Mandy who is asleep up in the bedroom, and the only "bass" I'll ever like is the fish that I catch out of the ocean and eat with some malt vinegar and tartar sauce.

Joe pulls out a picture from the promo tapes. Joe takes a look at the picture before showing it to the camera, and decides against showing it, tossing it in the fireplace. He pulls out a paper bag and vomits in it before throwing it away.

If you want to talk about dickless men with breast implants raping people, where the hell did you drag that whore Cindy from? Jesus, man! And having her flash the ICW audience with that saggy breast. She looks like someone taped balloons filled with fat to her chest. All I got to say is, if anyone in ICW is squeamish please close your eyes because I'm giving you a look at Cindy, the queen of extreme when it comes to making your eyes bleed, WITHOUT all that whorish makeup, and in this picture she is in the light. Yes that's right. Not in the dark like JJ's promo...........On second thought, no one, not even my most hated enemy, deserves to look at that. JJ you can keep her.

JJ you wanted me to comment and now I have given you the same verbal beating I give everyone else. No charge. I'll probably continue to bash you and upset you and make you want to kick my ass. I mean I'm just good at that. I say whatever the fuck I want and I could care less who I piss off. You are one of those people who are pissed but I fail to care. JJ, you say you want Kanich for the WC next week, with me as the guest referee? What have you done to earn a title shot? Jeez you're as bad as Creeper, but at least Creeper has actually done things to merit a title shot. He's a former TV champ, he's putting on great matches left and right, and he stands a very good chance of becoming the new HC champ. Creeper asks for shots, but he deserves them. You ask for shots, and you don't and never will deserve them. I suggest that when I make my announcement, which will not have anything to do with you, because the world doesn't revolve around JJ Crawford, like I said before. But I suggest to you that after I send this promo off degrading you, and when I make my announcement, you make like Gladiator and make yourself scarce. If you piss me off, I will take you out. Why? Because I'm Joe Cool and I can.

Joe turns the camera off and finishes drinking his coffee then makes his way up to the bedroom where Mandy is as the scene fades.