Arkangel, once again, you prove why the fans just don't really care to see you in the ring, and why they always change the channel when you appear. You're a bore! I honestly can't see why I ever thought you'd appeal to the fans when I gave you a BTC title shot against an easy opponent, who was on his way out anyway. I mean, I showed the No Remorse tape to my nephews, and they watched every match, but begged me to put in something else when that Hell match between you and Reaper came on. And they are huge Reaper fans, dispite what he does or what I say. You don't have the look, you don't have the charisma, and you just plain don't have the ability to draw a crowd. We could put up a giant sign that says, "Porn star lesbians have sex in a wrestling ring, plus, Arkangel vs anyone, in an open challenge, right before", and the fans wouldn't even show, just because they'd have to sit through your crap before the good stuff started. I mean, when you talk, you can hear people snoring in the audience. When you have a match, unless you're against someone that can totally carry your ass, or you're in a match where you're getting your ass kicked, I can hear a pin drop, because there is NO reaction from the fans at all. Honestly, I don't think the buyrate for that last hour of Misery is gonna crack a 2.0 unless Kanich, Reaper and I put on one hell of a show.
Now I noticed you went to some two-bit wannabe fed, and beat up it's top main eventer and prez. Was that supposed to convey some moronic message to me signaling that you might be able to win? Arky, it doesn't work when the fed's main eventer would be a jobber to Mad Max week in and out in ICW, and the prez looks like he's never even exercised in his entire lifespan, let alone wrestle. In ICW, you have a totally different situation. The Prez is guess what, a former 2 time BTW(2000-2001, RIP) World, US, HC, SOB Champ and former TT champs in BTW and UWFX, and has beaten guys you can only dream of beating. Hell I've LOST to guys that you can only dream of being put in a match against! And the main eventer here is a world-reknowned athelete, who knows who to put on an excellent match and how to kick someone's ass. This isn't EWF, this is ICW. This is a worldwide wrestling organization, not some regional mid-west piece of shit wannabe fed, sort of like that Bed Time Warriors place that tries to mock the late BTW.
Now, you've talked so much that I think it's about time you shut the fuck up and listen to someone else talk for once. Reaper's not even talking as much as you, which goes to further show that you are all talk and no action. I mean, come on, 4 promos in about 3 days, that's not normal. I've been working on my movelist, perfecting it, and you've been talking. I've been training constantly, and you've been talking. I've been preparing my mind for hell, you've been talking. I've been studying tapes, you've been talking. It seems one of us is going to be 110% ready for the Hell match, and it certainly isn't you. That's why I haven't been sending promo tapes out, I've been hella busy getting ready for this thing. I am out here on Christmas Eve doing a promo to you, then I'm not sending out anymore, because I have a life, and intend to live it before I go to the Joe Louis arena and kick some ass. Besides, it's a lot better to realize when the time for talk is through, and you never seem to realize that.
You say I give the fans, and my staff deciet and lies? Man that's the pot calling the kettle black. I guess you're the picture of honesty then? The way I see it, using a sledgehammer, sedative chemicals, and your stablemates to win matches isn't exactly honesty. I might be just, you know, CRAZY, but those guys that I kicked out, they weren't doing anything but making the wrestler's lives a living hell, and still try to. We got Firestarter walking around bitching and moaning because Creeper beat him 1 2 3, Oak trying to get everyone to rebel, and then harrassing them when they don't, man I don't know about you but that's an unwanted hostile working environment. I believe you complained about them too, as I do have your complaints that you filed against several of the staff.
You talk about having no experience, doesn't hurt you at all. Well, that's where your mistake lies. Your shoot fighting background isn't going to help you and neither will your Ju-Shitsu or whatever you call it. Shoot fighting doesn't help when you're up against one of the best techincal wrestlers alive. I know counters for moves that haven't been invented yet! How did I learn them? Experience. Hell, I know counters to my own submission moves, should anyone try to use them against me. I gain all these because I've been in matches, and I've learned how to get out of situations when I could lose. I can reverse pin attempts into submissions, submission attempts into a pinfall, I have a precise talent in this area, and if you try to dislocate my shoulder, for instance, with an armbar, I'm going to spin out of it and hit a move of my own.
I've never broken a man's shoulder. I haven't needed to. I could, easily. I could break a femur too, I know how to do it, and I can do it if need be. But you know, I don't like lawsuits and all of that. I've never broken a man's shoulder, had you listened when I was talking, instead of daydream about future World championships and actual reaction from the fans that will never come, you'd realize that I said when Kanich had an injured shoulder in our match, it was fully healed, but I weakened it once again and worked on it the entire match, and he had to have a week or so off before he could come back as he needed to heal it again. Your knee has a gigantic bullseye on it, as I've stated before, and it's only a matter of time before I attack it make you wish you never got into this match. Outdoing you is all to easy in many things, unless you thought that outdoing you in being a total jackass was impossible, in that case you're right.
I didn't tell you to stop with the hell, torment and misery comments because of my strong faith in God, I asked you to stop it because there's no way I'm experiencing it in our match, at least not from you. Who knows, you may get lucky and hit me from behind when I'm fighting Reaper. Of course once I get up you're going to wish you hadn't. As far as Kanich goes, he's not really the devil, he doesn't think he is. It's called a gimmick, and a nickname. Your gimmick portrays you as a badass but you are nothing like a badass! If you were, I might think twice about signing a match against you. But hell, you're not, and I'm not thinking twice.
Arky, if it wasn't in my heart to compete in this match, then it wouldn't have been signed. The day you realize that you are a nothing, will be when you stop spilling out meaningless trash and finally catch a beating that none of your DF friends will be able to save you from, not even Reaper. Now you seem intent on capturing that WC strap again, you seem to focus on it in all your promos, I'll up the ante in our match. The third fall will now be pinfall as well and if you can pin me, or make me submit then I will give you a World title shot at ICW New Year's Tragedy, our January PPV. How about that? I bet that sounds real good for you. Well, as always there is catch. If you pin or make Kanich submit, then you will not get your World title shot. If Reaper pins either myself or Kanich, you will not get a WC shot. It must be you, pinning me. Or making me submit. Think you can do it? I think not.
Arkangel, thank you for the first aid kit! As I know that I probably will be busted open, and I'll need to stitch myself up in the match so I don't bleed over everything. But most likely I'll like seeing myself bleed. You see, I'm not very hardcore, but when people beat on me, and make me bleed, it gives me adrenaline. I have every tool I need to win this match, and I do have the heart. Saying I don't have the heart to wrestle is just a completely bullshit statement. We'll see how much heart I have when I take you out. I signed this match to fight both you and Reaper, and Kanich or no Kanich, I was going to go into this match against both you and Reaper. But I'm not stupid, I knew you'd take full advantage of the 2 on 1 situation even if you weren't in the match. I had to pick someone that also wanted to tear into you two, because if I didn't, then that 2 on 1 would still be going on.
You seem to think that I made a totally wrong decision in picking Kanich, when I don't see it that way. I could have picked anyone in ICW, and I picked Kanich. That says something. I could have picked anyone. I could have picked a legend that is not even in the fed, I could have called a friend in that doesn't work here anymore...Massicrist, Darkrebel, they would have worked fine, and they would have came in within the second I called them. There is so many choices, and I pick Kanich. I pick the one person that I know is going to want to get this job done as much as I do. Maybe you should second guess yourself as the weak link of your team with Reaper. Reaper's used to fighting with AOD, as they are tag champs. There is no real future in a tag team between you two, Reaper picked you because you have a problem with me. You two have never worked together before. Even AOD saw the problem in that he was demanding he take your place, but I said no. It was Reaper's mistake, he should have to deal with it. Basically Arkangel, you are not a factor in this match. You talk about your talent, I think you have no talent. Oh sure, you can climb up a ladder pretty quick, and you seem to know how to use ether to try and win a match, but hey, this is a wrestling federation. You know, wrestling? That's the W in ICW. It's something I know about, but you and Reaper? You can't wrestle your way out of a paper bag, and Reaper is known for being a Hardcore champion. I am known for being Hardcore, but also for being a pure techincal wrestler. Kanich is known for Hardcore, but I'll be damned if he can't use his power moves to work on a targeted area. I thought at least 10 times he was going to break my neck with that stuff he did. You ever been thrown into something with extreme force that you think nothing could be worse at that point, only to bounce off and slam into the ground next to it? Oh wait, you do! By the way, I'm taking that video wall out of your paycheck, your hard head dented it pretty good. I'm through talking about you, I have more important matters at hand.
Reaper
Sup Reaper? Man Arkangel's not the only one that knows how to bore me, I wasn't expecting two naps, just one, but hey, beggers can't be choosers. I didn't care to see that cheap B movie of yours, nor did I want to see Arkangel in drag again. And you called him your mistress this time! That's a little scary Reaps. And by the way, if you don't use homosexual comments, and you think Kanich is one for saying you do, then why are you using them? Doesn't matter, but you know what they say, people that accuse others of being gay are confused about their own sexuality. Feeling queer Reaper?
There you go with your "trust" questions. Jeez you use that everytime you're against someone, and it never works. I wasn't even going for that when I showed those clips of you cursing out Arkangel, I was just showing Arky how stupid he is whenever he screws up and his own partner thinks he shouldn't have interfered. I have another question, in my last promo, how in the hell did you know I left my house to go to ICW HQ to film a promo? Have you been spying on me? I had to go to ICW HQ to use the camera, yes, but how did you know that I left my house, as I never filmed myself leaving? I pressed record when I picked up the camera and started the promo. Reaper if you're being a peeping tom, I suggest you stop. You must be out of your mind to think you're all knowing like that, after all, the world does not revolve around you, and your are not all-knowing.
Ok, you didn't go to Arkangel for help. He went to you for help! I guess he went to you, to form a TT, because he knew he'd have a better chance hiding behind someone 100x better than he ever thought of being, than to have a singles match with me. Reaper, you know you are better than Arkangel will ever be, and it's obvious that he's the weak link in your team. I'd bet 100 bucks that Arkangel is the one who is pinned, and/or made to submit. Think so? You say it won't be you, well it's gotta be someone. I know this match is going to three falls. Either you're losing the first fall via pinfall/submission, or your losing the second fall by one member of your team being KO'd. If it won't be you Reaper.....it's gotta be Arkangel.
I didn't underestimate you nor Arkangel. I knew Arkangel wouldn't be a threat, but you and Arkangel together, well that's a problem. Not in the way you think, it's sort of like, Arkangel bitches at me, I chase after him, then I run into a clothesline from you, then Arkangel waits til you've got me down to start kicking me, then when I show signs of getting back up, he runs away again and tries to let you handle it. That's why you'd be difficult to get past on my own. I just wanted a singles match against you, but Arkangel had to shove his rat-faced self in there and here we are. I knew there was no where to run? Well that may be so, but I never intended on running. I've never backed down from a fight in my life, and I don't intend to start with a bitch such as yourself. Reaper, I tried to give you credit, but it seems like you are just showing more of yourself everyday, the jackass side. You must either honestly think you are the shit, or your must be telling yourself that constantly so you don't get scared and shit your pants.
Either way, you don't strike fear into me, you never have, you never will. You don't make me regret signing this match. The only thing you do, is piss me off. And while you may think to yourself that my anger will blind me, your wrong because I can control my anger, and use it to win the match. Hell, winning isn't even an issue to me. Win, lose or draw, I'm taking YOU down, and I won't be the one who is pinned, made to submit, or KO'd. I've signed this match, and I'm living with it because I wanted this. Your Christmas present to me was signing the contract that said ICW wasn't responsible should you get injured in this contest, because now I can do whatever I want, and I won't have to worry about what happens to my fed through a lawsuit.
If I don't grasp planning, how come I blindsided you with this Kanich thing. Yeah you can go on about how you knew it was going to happen and all this shit, but I know you're lying. It's pretty pathetic. I could have had the late Davey Boy Smith come out as my TT partner, brought back from the dead, and you'd say you saw it coming. And now I know you're going to retort with, shut up Joe, I did too know it was Kanich. For all you know it could have been Taker. You didn't know that, any more than you were saying those comments to make me think you hated Arkangel. Your little piss-poor stories about how you're allmighty don't impress me in the least, they don't scare me, and they sure as hell don't hold any truth. I'm sure you were actually cussing out Arkangel when he came out to help you with the World title and screwed you over. Think about it Reaper, Arkangel ruined your one and only chance to get a title shot for the WC? You could have dominated ICW, and he screwed it all up for you. Yeah, I'm "SURE" the first thing that entered your mind was, "I'll trick Joe".
I pissed you off by saying I tried to help you. Hmm. Well, I remember actually helping you, when you fought Orb and Johnny Ringo, and Arkangel walked out. As far as that match with Orb goes, how did I turn my back? I wasn't even at ringside! Your memory needs tuning up. I came out and declared the final fall to be sudden death rules, then I went backstage with Taker to discuss plans for WWW's card. Arkangel screwed you over then. No what you must be thinking about is that HC title match with Enforcer, where I was trying to get Fate off of me when he broke up the count. Enforcer had the pinfall, Fate didn't mind his own business and pulled me off. Then when I was sending him back to the back, you got the pin on Enforcer, but since I was distracted no ref. Man Reaper I'm not so sure that DF is the right stable to be in. Hell at least when you had Deadly Intent, you had guys like Big Dawg and Enforcer who would back you up and not screw you over in the process.
Besides Reaper, when I was mentioning helping you, that was BEFORE you teamed up with that "never-was" Arkangel. When you were getting attacked in the parking lot and thrown of the ICW stage at WWW, I found it quite entertaining. Same thing for when I ducked your clothesline and used two simple moves to lay you out. You can say I got you from behind, but I was looking right at you when I did it, and you saw me coming. I've always given you credit Reaper, you're the top star here in ICW, fans line up on the streets hoping to see you lose, you sell out our arenas week after week, along with other top stars. If you think I'm saying this so you'll show mercy on me, that's just totally wrong. I'm begging you Reaper, show NO mercy, because I don't plan to when I'm fighting you.
You talk about Orb, how he's been winning his matches. Let's see. He won the title to begin with by throwing his opponents off of a scaffold. He beat Macula and Big J by pinfall with no help from anyone. He beat you when Arkangel costed you the match. Last week he beat Moose by DQ, and I was going to give Moose the rematch but Moose denied it! Reaper, you have got to get your facts straight before you come out talking and boring us to death. You talk about how you won the 30 man Royal Rumble, and when have I ever won one? I never needed to win a royal rumble to get my world title shots, I worked my way up the ladder pinning superstar after superstar, until I earned my shot and won the title. You got it the easy way Reaps. As far as all the guys I beat, well most, like Taker, are retired because they've beaten everyone there is too beat, and it just doesn't get fun after you win for years. I'm almost retired, but I stay in it so I can get some matches in, because maybe it's my "old age" of *28* but I still have fun just for the competition. That's another one I don't get. How in the hell is 28 old age? I've never seen that. Tons of people call me old, but I'm still in my twenties! What are you guys, 16 or 17 each? Unless that's the case, you can't exactly call me old.
Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Every match you are in is HC. It's not hard to go HC, you pick up a weapon and hit someone with it. I plan to do just that if need be, but considering I'm a wrestler, I'm going to....and this is just a WACKY idea, but I'm going to WRESTLE. Do you know anything about that? I know Arkangel doesn't. You say you've destroyed Kanich before, if you "destroyed" Kanich, he wouldn't be walking around today. Never once did I say Kanich destroyed AOD, I said he destroyed Dragon Ray, and ended his career in ICW. He was the best crusierweight, with the exception of Skwerl, the champ, in this industry. I didn't approve of Dragon Ray being sent out like that but I don't control Kanich.
I've never feared anyone. I may have had my ass kicked before, but you seem to forget that I've handed out ass kickings a lot of times as well. I don't back down from any fights, but the way you talk, it's almost as if you WANT me to back down! Maybe that's it? You want me to back down from our match, so you don't have to? Let's face it Reaper it's going to be 2 on 1 when you get in there, and I know you don't want to fight both Kanich and I while Arkangel tries to act like a superstar. I hear he's bringing that sledgehammer because he doesn't know what to do when we are through tearing you apart and we set our sights on him. So either one or two of these things is true, either you want me to back out so you don't have to, then you can make it look like you were ready to fight and I wasn't...OR you're telling yourself over and over that I'm going to so you don't shit yourself when I'm in the ring and the fight is on.
You don't have to fight me to prove you're the best, you just gotta come out and fight me to prove that you have the balls to fight someone man to man, and not with your little sneak attacks and childish pranks. You walk out looking like a roid monster and I'll look right at you, face to face, nose to nose...but there won't be any more words once that bell rings, so you had better not be expecting any. When that bell rings, we will all be in hell, and I will fight my way out of it and I will survive it. The only question is..will you?
Your wrong once again, as from your interview you said that the guys in the back don't like it when you hold the top main eventers back. No, they don't like it when I push the top main eventers, because if I keep doing that, they won't get their push, you are just saying it does because you don't want to be held back! If you lose your precious top card spot to someone in the midcard who needs to be pushed to that next level, you'll be the one that snaps! You got this thing backwards, as it's the midcard guys who shouldn't be held back. Main-eventers have already been to the top, when their time to main-event is through, they need to step down and let the mid-carders who haven't been up there experience the glory. And most of our midcard is loved by the fans anyway, and will be main eventing arenas long after you've left the industry, that is, unless you go to another fed where they like to hold down the lowercard guys, and not even let them have a chance to get to the top. I give everyone oppurtunies in ICW, we are like the Promised land of the wrestling business.
Ark said that I belong behind my desk, and I have to agree with him. It's not right for an ICW president to be out in the ring fighting in a match he should be running the fed. Oh wait, I can do both! Now see, I am a lot better as a wrestler than I am a businessman, and let's face it Reaper, I'm one hell of a businessman so that obviously means that I'm a top-notch athlete and wrestler. As far as steroid accusations, I never accused you of it, I said Reaper looks like a 'roid monster, cuz he does! I never said once, "Reaper and Arkangel use steroids!" I said, Arkangel looks like a pussified 'roid monster. And he does. So do you, hell you look like instead of using sterioids, you went up to the Ultimate Warrior's door and ate him!
And there you go with your "sureness" again. You are in DF, so naturally DF's ratings will go up in your opinion. I am the fucking prez of this industry, and I know what goes on and what doesn't, if you think you could do this job any better...oh wait, you can't! You don't have enough brains to be able to run a organization like this. And spare me the insults about being smart because I already know they are coming because you're so fucking predictable. When I say Arkangel lowers ICW's ratings, I mean he lowers ICW's ratings. I don't know what you've been smoking, but wrestlers and stables don't have their own "ratings", we go by merchandise sells, arena sellouts, tv ratings and ppv buyrates here. And when Arkangel was champion, the quarter hour he appeared on was when we got the lowest point of the night, Arkangel shirts aren't being sold at all, the PPV he main evented got the worst ICW buyrate we've ever had, and arena sales were low when he was main eventing. Reaper, Arkangel can not be held back from the truth, and that truth is this. Where the fans come to see the faces like Orb, Skwerl, or AOD win a match and they come to see heels like you, Macula, or Dark Rider lose a match cuz they love to boo you, no one even WANTS to see Arkangel, they just plain don't care. Arkangel has no marketability and he doesn't improve our ratings in the slightest. Typically when fans bring signs, they use them to boo or cheer a wrestler. No one EVER brings any Arkangel signs. When Arkangel comes out, I've seen fans with the head on their arms trying to take a nap.
When I am outclassed, I'll be sure to let you know Reaper. I am not being outclassed right now, because you just plain don't have any class. AS far as you actually saying I ran and that you didn't edit the tape, Reaper, the tape I showed was straight out of that nights' security tapes. I got it straight from the security office of that arena, and pulled it out of the camera myself. Your tape you got from Taker's office. Well, considering Taker is DF, he probably had a doctored tape waiting for you to come in grab it.
Stop your threats, stop your insults, because the time for talk is finished. I'm praying to my God all right, I'm praying that he controls me so I don't do something I'll regret when I'm beating the hell out of you. I'm praying that our ppv buyrate doesnt' tank when Arkangel walks out to the arena. I'm going to be able to walk out of that arena on my own two feet, and why is that? Because I am Joe cool and I can.
Joe turns off the camera and goes back to the VP office where Taker is stilly playing Mortal Kombat with his nephews.
So who won?
Well we decided to see who could beat the game the quickest, and it was Tommy. I got killed in the fifth round with Scorpion, those damn freaks at Midway changed his moveset!
Well kids we gotta get home, your mom and Aunt Mandy are going to have a fit! Taker, I got you a Christmas present, by the way.
What's that?
A vacation! Damn you need some time off you work too hard, even for your own stable, and don't tell me no because I'll have security bar you from coming in if you don't take it.
Yeah thanks, but I was going to take it anyway.
Yeah I know. That phone number was the real present, that and the fun you had with my nephews. I'm outta here, Taker, Merry Christmas.
Joe and his nephews leave as Taker goes out the back door and the scene fades.
